Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Posted
8:29 PM
by Gene
No peeking.
Posted
5:25 PM
by Gene
Maybe news hacks are tired of running disclaimers.
Posted
5:10 PM
by Gene
How to Avoid More Enrons: Legalize Fraud Everytime there's another conviction in corporate America the TCS luxury suite goes DAMN! This is AT LEAST as lunkheaded as B. S. DEFENDER defending B. S.
Posted
5:07 PM
by Gene
Sure, Hillary, sure.
Posted
5:04 PM
by Gene
How popular is Lee Raymond? Evidently some of the shareholders were chafing too. "Four members of the compensation committee received 79 to 82 percent of the shares cast." In the upside-down world of Gordon Gekkos that's almost a no vote.
Posted
5:00 PM
by Gene
If I made money writing I would not blog. Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Posted
6:54 PM
by Gene
"Baseball players today have too many reasons for excuses." Salary? Check. AAAAAAAAATTITUDE? Double-check. STEROIDS? TRIPLE-check. P. S. Elsewhere the paper has A "THEORY" about how the gutty race horse Barbaro got injured, which will soon enough turn into a CONSPIRACY THEORY.
Posted
6:39 PM
by Gene
Two mentions of JO-nah in one day is two too many.
Posted
6:36 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:57 PM
by Gene
• New-look England off to a winning start • Walcott England debut breaks Rooney's record • Germany scramble draw against Japan • English football hooligans forced to hand over passports • Chelsea fined over conduct of players during Fulham loss And the seventh? • Dan Aykroyd takes UFOs out for a spin AMERICAN IDOL is EVERYWHERE!!!!!
Posted
5:54 PM
by Gene
When the autos recalled are Japanese.
Posted
5:50 PM
by Gene
What does Mr. New Treasury Secretary have to say about that? Or DUBYA? He who equates spending with EHDYUKAYSHUN EKSELLENTS. P. S. ![]() Was running this pop-up ad a joke?
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
(Via the usual ROMY)
Posted
5:20 PM
by Gene
So much for that barn raising. And what did that practical joke of an "informant's" cost us?
Posted
5:06 PM
by Gene
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2:36 PM
by Gene
John Muhammad guilty of six counts of murder in D.C. area sniper shootings
Posted
1:56 PM
by Gene
I'M THE WORLD'S GREATEST PUNDIT AND YOU'RE NOT!
Posted
12:26 PM
by Gene
Dominique Perben, the Transport Minister, called the overnight incident a reminder of last year’s riots, in which 10,000 vehicles and 200 public buildings were torched. "The question of the suburbs is a question for the entire political class," said M Perben. We must have the courage to look things in the face." France? COURAGE?!?!? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Posted
12:13 PM
by Gene
What doesn't it fail on? Not long after Enron's collapse, the Conference Board published a pseudonymous piece by a "longtime-publishing insider" [MY link], who correctly diagnosed the problem this way: "Most of the mainstream business media has been too busy morphing CEOs into celebrities and giving us guided tours of their royal lifestyles. There's been no time to do reality checks on their balance sheets and business practices. Instead, 'the press gave us personal information about Ken Lay's brilliance, his wife's wonderful taste in furniture, and the glamorous lives of other business executives,' says Ron Berenbeim, the Conference Board's expert on business ethics. 'They didn't think we were interested in those boring footnotes in the balance sheet and earnings reports.' "There's another dilemma…. Many reporters and editors ceased to be journalists in any real sense and began writing what seemed like infomercials and advertising copy…. At first, CEOs were portrayed merely as brilliant business warriors, but during the last five years they have been crowned all-knowing Citizen Kings. After such deification, it's not easy for business reporters to now fall on their keyboards and declare that the emperors are not simply naked but crooked as well. The late George Reedy, press secretary to Lyndon Johnson and a wily student of media, used to say to me: 'Every reporter I know has to whore now and then, but damn if I understand those who pimp too.'" WELCOME TO THE WHOREHOUSE OF JERNALISM!
Posted
12:10 PM
by Gene
Back to a microbe in short order, given how many are hitting me up.
Posted
12:00 PM
by Gene
Yet as bleak as some critics may paint the musical's future — and they've been doing so for decades.... It's those old fogies who can't see the hundreds of thousands of TWENTY-SOMETHINGS writing masterpieces in their basements!!!!! Okay PAT, hum us a song by Scott Frankel, Michael Korie, Brenda Russell, Allee Willis, Stephen Bray, Robert Lopez, Jeff Marx, Tom Kidd and Amanda Green! GERSHWINS ALL! Is TRIB putting happy juice in the water at LALA to keep the hacks' spirits up? P. S. It's slugged "Special" meaning it's FREELANCED PR. (Via the sometimes very annoying ArtsJournal.com)
Posted
11:32 AM
by Gene
THE FORCES OF REACTION...oh, never mind. P-Ulitzer Prizes will DEFINITELY be harder to campaign for.
Posted
11:29 AM
by Gene
Well, at least it wasn't Pat. Oh, he spelled his name with an E. No matter. At least he didn't choose the Kellogg's man either, as some Cornerite predicted.
Posted
6:49 AM
by Gene
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO E. SCOTT!
Posted
6:44 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:38 AM
by Gene
![]() I know this might nowadays be called an arthouse picture -- I'm sorry, to me that's a term of shame -- but we once had a healthy foreign film business which didn't need help from euphemisms; and looking at this still -- that's Claudia Cardinale (what became of her?) with Jacques Perrin in something called Girl with a Suitcase (what a title!), by Valerio Zurlini -- there was also a time when men at the movies had something to look forward to. One thing about my job and my apartment is they leave me no money to waste buying DVDs or else I'd go ahead and search this out. Quite possibly it's dull -- it is, after all, endorsed by The Paper of Re-cord -- but then again, with a face like that, maybe it isn't. Monday, May 29, 2006
Posted
4:01 PM
by Gene
See, here's the problem, ABCePrep -- the reason CHEAP CHANNEL and its friends are held in such HIGH ESTEEM is that they've AUTOMATED HUMANS OUT OF EXISTENCE! (Except in the sales departments.) This whatisit is just another way of automating radio, and of boasting of our superiority over our listeners. It's been ages since I listened to the radio; it will be ages more before I resume -- thanks to gags like ABCEPREP. P. S. Radio: Know the Facts MYTH: Consolidation in the radio industry is at dangerous levels. FACT: Radio is the least consolidated segment of the media industry -- by far according to The Herfindahl-Hirschman Index [there's Groucho again -- Say the secret woid and you'll win a radio chain!], the metric often cited by the Department of Justice. Specifically, the top-5 music companies account for 85% of that industry’s market share; the top-8 film companies account for 84%; the top-10 cable companies account for 67%; the top 6 ad agencies companies account for 65%; and the top-10 radio companies account for 43%. WHEW!!!!! Am I relieved.
Posted
3:48 PM
by Gene
And despite the mighty exertion it appears the biz is just even in admissions from last year -- and down from 2004.
Posted
3:43 PM
by Gene
Why can such worries be turned on and off like a light bulb, or the brain in an EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-U bureaucrat?
Posted
11:08 AM
by Gene
The cloyingly-cute thing, the $100,000-a-share-self-serving thing, the dissident-imprisoning thing, but not the right thing.
Posted
10:54 AM
by Gene
In the middle of their self-righteous crying-into-their-non-alcoholic-beer sessions blaming their inferiors the CONSTITUENTS for all their woes micro-tyrants like King Denny must be screaming, "THEY JUST DON'T GET IT!" We get it. You're excusing yourselves on a legalism. And if the Constitution is such a perfect vessel why have you Congresspoops filled it over the decades with pieces of -- LEGISLATION? P. S. I see he does have an "opponent", but really, a write-in candidacy would be better. Still King Denny neglects what happened to OUR state legislaTERRS at his own peril. And he should recall too how one his illustrious predecessors, the now forgotten Tom Foley, got knocked off. Sunday, May 28, 2006
Posted
8:06 PM
by Gene
Posted
8:00 PM
by Gene
I think it's time these GIANTS came out and ran ADS: FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION....
Posted
7:58 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:21 PM
by Gene
Oops, Dr. Weenie must have heard from his constituents too.
Posted
1:39 PM
by Gene
![]() The Pope has visited Auschwitz without rancor, which should testify that his only purpose is penance.
Posted
1:14 PM
by Gene
And this is the second highly overpublicized piece of -- CINEMA in two weeks to do this. Oh well, who gives a damn as long as the show-biz flacks can yell out the GROSSES even as they're toadying for JOBS.
Posted
11:02 AM
by Gene
(Via The Blog Herald)
Posted
10:56 AM
by Gene
We must always hate the hacks because they get a certain glee out reporting such stories, a glee that is only intensified when they can slant the imporant news and rule the world.
Posted
10:43 AM
by Gene
MEDIA MIRACLE INDUSTRY CRAWLING BACK TO THE FOREFRONT By PETER LAURIA The year 2006 is shaping up to be the year of Big — if not old — Media. Left for dead at the turn of the century, investors have reawakened to the virtues of Big Media amid an explosion in distribution outlets for content, a robust deal environment and solid financial results, including large share-buyback plans from the likes of Disney and News Corp. (which owns The Post). A synergistic NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to PETE!
Posted
10:11 AM
by Gene
Today we did it and we got 62,400,000 HITS. The Republic does not stand a chance. P. S. With quotes it's 62,800,000.
Posted
9:51 AM
by Gene
Interviews with a dozen former employees painted Haddad as a leader who accomplished much during his three years as president of St. Elizabeth's and two years as chief executive of Caritas Christi, including most recently bringing the system its first substantial profit in five years. He centralized administrative functions and began to standardize the care provided by the six hospitals and to establish St. Elizabeth's as a referral center for the five outlying community hospitals. But those interviews also revealed deep discomfort among some with Haddad's management style, which sometimes involved bruising public battles in which he yelled at managers and physicians across conference tables. He seemed more intense after he took over Caritas Christi, leaving subordinates afraid to disagree with him and prompting others to leave the organization. Plus he hugged and kissed the girls, making him a disciple of -- EDDIE?
Posted
9:35 AM
by Gene
P. S. ![]() We like Kirsten's long brown hair too, but isn't this a sign the hacks are going -- too far? As every synergist in the "news" trade would say, the answer is NO. And why were they taking pictures of her back?
Posted
9:32 AM
by Gene
The glum cover probably won't help; this will probably be the worst selling issue of the year at the newsstands. Saturday, May 27, 2006
Posted
5:59 PM
by Gene
But you will have this with a perennially second-rate continent.
Posted
2:00 PM
by Gene
Can they include a certain presidential library?
Posted
1:50 PM
by Gene
The attacker was a 16-year old German from Neukoelln, a south Berlin district with a large immigrant population. OR: CNN is not showing the negative caricatures of the likeness of the Prophet Mohammed because the network believes its role is to cover the events surrounding the publication of the cartoons while not unnecessarily adding fuel to the controversy itself.
Posted
1:46 PM
by Gene
The biggest business news story of recent weeks is the Wall Street Journal series of reports on options backdating. It hasn't received wider play in part because the pieces remain behind the Journal's subscription firewall.
Posted
12:45 PM
by Gene
(Via JO-nah)
Posted
11:56 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:46 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:21 AM
by Gene
Even Bill -- who has surely done a nice favor for Sammy Glickman; like a job with him, Bill? -- must concede the biz does $21 billion worldwide. How much of the world's GDP is that? He does a further favor by insisting our garbage exports make possible all sorts of "increasingly sophisticated" local films -- meaning blurbist-pleasin' masterworks like that six-hour one from Italy, no doubt. He also quotes the VIACON exec Peter Bart. A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO BILL!
Posted
10:11 AM
by Gene
Friday, May 26, 2006
Posted
7:19 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:50 PM
by Gene
That's what I call A SMASH HIT!
Posted
1:41 PM
by Gene
BROADWAY seems resigned to the fact that this year's Tony telecast is going to be another dreary ratings loser. A hostless telecast, as this year's will be, was tried in 1999 - with dire results. Who can forget that chorus line of young-ish stars - Calista Flockhart, Scott "Party of Five" Wolf, Christian Slater - stumbling through the lyrics of "There's No Business Like Show Business"? As comedian Lea DeLaria said later: "You don't know the words to 'There's No Business Like Show Business'? GET OFF THE STAGE!!" Tony officials apparently were so embarrassed by their inability to line up a master of ceremonies that they waited until practically the dead of night to announce that they'll have 60 "star presenters" instead of one big-name host. If they're lucky, maybe Oprah will throw them a bone and plug the Tonys on her show.
Posted
1:31 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:29 PM
by Gene
Let me guess: it'll be called...DA NOO YAWK POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
11:20 AM
by Gene
Capitol Police said Friday they were investigating reports of sounds of gunfire in the garage of the Rayburn Office Building, where members of the House have their offices. The entire Capitol complex has been locked down, CNN's Dana Bash reported.... "They have no victims at this time, and they have no active shooter," said Mike Brooks, a law enforcement expert. He noted that Capitol Police have a firing range in the basement. P. S. These are the same cowardly Pygmy tyrants oblivious to the FIRING RANGE ALL AROUND THEM. P. P. S. ANOTHER false alarm, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Posted
10:59 AM
by Gene
(Via the usual ArtsJournal.com) And in more news of tomorrow's archival dust collectings, the Tune Machine what wrote the immortal Wicked is writing what Opera News calls an "opera." (Via Playbill.com, which is all about reporting on archival dust collectings)
Posted
9:48 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:43 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:29 AM
by Gene
We can especially expect intense side splitting when news hacks underreport a story. Can you recall ONE American correspondent interviewing Iran's president? How long has he been in office? Who do you suspect has earned more column inches -- him or THE ERIC SEVAREID OF COMEDY? Or the winner of RUPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S contest? We saw the exact same thing with Osama, whom the hacks all but ignored in favor of now forgotten pleasures like Gary Condit's "mistress" until it literally blew up in our faces. And this guy's waving nukes.
Posted
9:24 AM
by Gene
Why am I supposed to care? He got interviewed by Perky Katie. Thursday, May 25, 2006
Posted
5:55 PM
by Gene
Me too. But we may want to check what's in DER SPEAKER's head. That icebox uses the old fashioned door that you can't open easily.
Posted
5:52 PM
by Gene
Yes, Hicks, the 29-year-old grey-haired bar singer from Birmingham, was last night voted American Idol after an astonishing 64 million votes were counted - more than any US president has ever received, according the show's producers. Then how to explain that a mere 35.4 million watched it? Well, I guess the dead vote in RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s elections too. And now to completely ignore this stunt until the next time.
Posted
3:33 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:29 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:43 PM
by Gene
Seeing how a top-of-the-line notebook can hold up to 120 gigs, think of all the things a miscreant can steal! I'd rather not.
Posted
10:18 AM
by Gene
For first time, ship at sea brings down target in its final seconds of flight Let's hope this helps when the IRANIANS come along.
Posted
10:16 AM
by Gene
The elephant in the room will be the estimated $245 million pay package -- and that's a conservative estimate -- that Nardelli is receiving while shareholders have lost money during his five years with the home-improvement behemoth. This looks like a job for -- SUPERKUDLOW!!!!! In what amounts to a no-confidence vote, AFSCME said on Monday that it will withhold votes from 10 of the 11 directors on Home Depot's board. COMMIES!
Posted
6:41 AM
by Gene
I guess so they can pay less to see your SPARKLING CAMEOS.
Posted
6:35 AM
by Gene
OR.... Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Posted
8:19 PM
by Gene
Posted
8:11 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:55 PM
by Gene
Somehow we're not surprised with a company whose mascot is a geek.
Posted
5:40 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
(Via the unavoidable Romy)
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
And these same idiots who are all a-giggle at the naughty bits laughed at DVC!!!!!!!!!!!!! and booed some movie about Marie Antoinette; indeed they seem to denigrate everything in sight (as well they should) while kissing one another's behinds. Speaking of DVC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, it did $6.2 million yesterday, which doesn't sound so hot, even for a Tuesday. Do I smell the word "disappointment" slowly wafting in here?
Posted
5:06 PM
by Gene
No doubt there'll be a grand press conference in a couple of weeks, and highly-classified documents some time thereafter.
Posted
3:33 PM
by Gene
Sometimes, when you head an relatively unimportant Federal agency, and the president may not know you by name, you're the last to find out.
Posted
3:06 PM
by Gene
It's going to be a long slog. Happily, Liz offers a solution: Is there any way we could get some "un-journalists" to cover the '08 election? Yes, if their places of employment go broke. (Via the ineffable Romy)
Posted
2:17 PM
by Gene
(Via THE WORLD'S No. 1 SOUTH PARK FAN)
Posted
2:13 PM
by Gene
Mark Steyn got it better.
Posted
8:39 AM
by Gene
“One of the things I would do if I were President would be to sit the Shiites and the Sunnis down and say, ‘Stop the bullshit,’” said Mr. McCain, according to Shirley Cloyes DioGuardi, an invitee, and two other guests. LOOK WHO'S TALKING.
Posted
6:45 AM
by Gene
AOL News, I see, has picked up yesterday's front page New York Times story on the Clintons' marriage, or as the paper put it, their "Delicate Dance of Married and Public Lives." Drudge teased the story on Monday, though in a way that suggests his leakers might have misled him. But that's the problem with WALTER "THE SPYWARE COWBOY" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: he loves to be misled.
Posted
6:41 AM
by Gene
Which fact will not keep the fewer than 525 from trying to lose the other more than 2,125 their jobs if it advances THE TRUTH. Prediction: The Stinky Inky and the Nooz continue to SPIN and SELL, like other papers; it won't stop the circulation losses; and the "owners" sell their pile of debt within five years. Another prediction: I'd lay 50-50 odds the "owners" fold the Nooz when it gets really hard to pay all that interest.
Posted
6:39 AM
by Gene
I haven't a clue. Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Posted
7:53 PM
by Gene
The Renaissance produced Michelangelo. The great worldwide democratic revolution produced Jefferson and Beethoven. Our age produces TV shows. P. S. A question for our meretricious age: "How Much Marketing is Too Much Marketing?"
Posted
5:48 PM
by Gene
President Putin is facing the first major test of his pledge to fight corruption after his Communications Minister was found to own large chunks of the telecoms industry.
Posted
5:44 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:35 PM
by Gene
Do the hacks have to pay attention every time the Osama Channel and its friends issue a new hit?
Posted
5:32 PM
by Gene
Pet Shop Boys Return to Roots, Attack Bush, Blair The Pet Shop Boys are back in business, with their best album in more than a decade. [BloomyLite home-page hed]
Posted
5:30 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:02 PM
by Gene
Translation: GOOD LUCK! "I sincerely hope it will be a good deal for the papers," McClatchy chairman Gary Pruitt said in an interview. Translation: YOU'LL NEED IT! (From the incalculable ROMY, who's biting his fingernails so hard he has no fingers)
Posted
2:10 PM
by Gene
McDonald pointed out that the buyouts of late 2005, which resulted in 26 Daily News editorial positions gone, and 75 at the Inquirer, had already hit the papers hard: "We have been putting out a paper since then under a bit of duress." Funny -- that doesn't seem to have stopped you boys from putting us under duress with your constant SPIN and SELLING. (Via the usual ROMY, who garbled the link)
Posted
1:34 PM
by Gene
(Via Yahoo! News)
Posted
1:21 PM
by Gene
Plans call for the new, 250,000-square-foot museum to have seven levels of galleries, theaters and retail space. Why not just call it NEWSMALL? Oh, S. O. B. trademarked it. A 74-foot high marble engraving of the First Amendment will be placed at the museum's entrance. Which with any luck will be dedicated on the day some news organization runs a front-page correction, or a DISCLAIMER. (Via the inimitable ROMY)
Posted
1:06 PM
by Gene
(Via IWantMedia.com. What's happened to this site? It used to update around 9 a.m.; now the proprietor waits until noon. What gives?)
Posted
10:30 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:16 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:37 AM
by Gene
I come down in favor of a border wall in USA Today How courageous of you, JO-nah! (Or should that be Jo-NAH?)
Posted
6:51 AM
by Gene
Now to go back to the biz of making crappy music -- and look for another inconveniencing way to thwart pirates.
Posted
6:48 AM
by Gene
Is THE PAPER OF RE-CORD LITE backing off its advance P-Ulitzer Prize -- a little?
Posted
6:41 AM
by Gene
The far-left trembles! Monday, May 22, 2006
Posted
5:47 PM
by Gene
Something most NEWS HACKS, academics, politicians and show-biz types try never to do.
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
(Via MediaBistro)
Posted
5:26 PM
by Gene
We did not need to know this, but the ASSociated Press no doubt devoted considerable time and effort getting it through Its jumble, and has wasted countless hours of surfers' time to downloading and reading it. ANOTHER NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD TO CURLEY! (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!)
Posted
2:55 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:20 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:09 PM
by Gene
And now the DOG Star's launching shows emceed by BLOGGERS, which makes us question the need for satradio even more. (Both via IWantMedia)
Posted
1:56 PM
by Gene
There were no Major League Baseball officials in attendance to celebrate Bonds' home run. Neither were any of Ruth's relatives. Even 19-year-old Tyler Snyder, of Pleasanton, Calif., who caught the ball, told reporters he hated Bonds. So why do you need 1,612 WORDS, Bob Nighty-Night? Or after that demonstration of P-Ulitzer Prize reporting are they now paying you hacks by the WORD?
Posted
1:41 PM
by Gene
DA VINCI THOUGHTS [Stanley Kurtz] I just saw The Da Vinci Code. Point one: Michael Novak’s review [BAD LINK, natch] is dead on. Point two: This movie is a salutary kick in the teeth for conservatives. There’s no gainsaying the fact that the Narnia movie was a big deal. Having conceded that, the fact remains that when it comes to exercising influence on the fundamental levers of American culture, conservatives remain in a pathetically weakened position. I may not be a professor of “symbology,” but I have taught at Harvard and studied religious symbolism. So I feel in a particularly strong position to reveal the entirely unsecret conspiracy against patriotism, tradition, and religion hiding in plain sight on our movie and television screens, in our universities, and on the pages of the mainstream press. Conservatives have forgotten just how precarious our position is. One cable news channel, talk radio, and the blogosphere blahblahblah.... Point No. 1: You still lead TWO CON-SER-VA-TIVE RELIGION MOVIES to ONE. Point No 2.: Which is worse: a bad movie based on a super-bad book or Jesus being WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPED!!!!! ten thousand times? For my part I can't tell the difference. P. S. For what it's worth, HowStuffWorks.com DISSECTS DVC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Via the Mess]
Posted
11:11 AM
by Gene
Matthew Peterson is a powerful argument for reviving the "scarlet letter." And I don't mean VARSITY.
Posted
11:08 AM
by Gene
P. S. If THE CORNER is to be believed (!) the BC crowd behaved quite admirably. Go Eagles!
Posted
10:55 AM
by Gene
China's capital is under attack from twin plagues of termites and moths, newspapers reported on Monday, prompting fears for the city's antiquities and concerns that Beijing's "Green Olympics" could be turned brown.... The wars against termites and moths are just two of the pest control initiatives Beijing has launched ahead of the Olympics. Other campaigns have included targeting rats, fleas and lice at gymnasiums and athletes' villages. And dissidents. Just kidding!
Posted
10:51 AM
by Gene
Too many things overwhelm common sense in the Democratic Party, not least the TRUE BELIEVERS.
Posted
10:40 AM
by Gene
The pot...six of one...NAH. Too easy.
Posted
8:54 AM
by Gene
McClatchy close to selling Philly papers to PR exec's group After this past weekend we can only say, HOW APT.
Posted
8:51 AM
by Gene
(Via the inevitable ROMY)
Posted
8:50 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:43 AM
by Gene
If these craven nations are going to pay ransom it should be a matter of OFFICIAL POLICY, and BUDGETED. Then we'd know the Europeans for the hypocritical swine they can be. Sunday, May 21, 2006
Posted
8:01 PM
by Gene
I have complained to Technorati's form e-mail address, to no more effect than when I complained to G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER.
Posted
7:49 PM
by Gene
Forgive us for suspecting that you have something on your minds other than TELLING THE TRUTH.
Posted
7:44 PM
by Gene
Is it because taxpayers are financing their feet-on-the-desk six-digit jobs? A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD to DAVE!
Posted
5:36 PM
by Gene
And a HARDY HAR HAR to you in JAIL, William Jefferson! When Jefferson and the informant had dinner at a Washington restaurant on May 12, 2005, the FBI was listening, too. Jefferson indicates he will need an increased stake in the profits of one deal, the affidavit said. Instead of the 7% stake originally agreed upon, he writes "18-20" on a piece of paper and passes it to the informant. That included the LOBBYING FEE.
Posted
5:25 PM
by Gene
"As cited in Ibn Abbas: The apes are Jews, the people of the Sabbath; while the swine are the Christians, the infidels of the communion of Jesus." So what does that make the flacks at Whorvis?
Posted
5:23 PM
by Gene
I can't tell from the SCREAMING.
Posted
2:01 PM
by Gene
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1:34 PM
by Gene
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1:07 PM
by Gene
![]() I'm not convinced.
Posted
12:54 PM
by Gene
And for all the alleged good news we're still down slightly from last year. (And because Luke Spielberg opened His live-action Road Runner flick on a Thursday we're down considerably for the week.) And here's something to make pious KLo-style SOUTH PARK CON-SER-VA-TIVES gloat endlessly -- it did less biz its first weekend than WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!! THE JESUS SLASHER MOVIE -- at ALMOST 700 MORE THEATERS!!!!! Praise -- uh, God? P. S. PAUL DRECK's boys spin that it did $80 HEXAZILLION GIGAMILLIONS WORLDWIDE!!!!! If every person who saw HERR DOKTOR BROWN'S MASTERWORK paid $8 by the "official" count MAYBE one half of one percent of the world's population saw it, which goes to show there will never be any accounting for taste.
Posted
12:47 PM
by Gene
Er, this is why people can't stand news hacks' gutlessness. Er, the whole point of advertising, JOSH, is to SELL things. Er, if they didn't teach you that when you started as a blurbist, you're not a true-blue TWXSTER. Er, you and your bosses decided after a mercifully long vacation from cover plugs to get back into the show-biz flackery biz. Er, the whole point of your AD is to get us to BUY this. Er, do you think we'd feel so monumentally insulted if it weren't? Er, that's why they pay you the big salary and the fabulous expense account. Er, so you answer your own question -- with a RIP-ROARING AFFIRMATIVE!!!!! Er, a NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD to JOSH and the, er, TWXSTERS! Er, the next time we run into your mangy name -- and we hope it isn't soon -- we'll call you ER.
Posted
12:13 PM
by Gene
Now what happens when this emerges from BETA?
Posted
11:58 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:42 AM
by Gene
"The Democrats' attempt to paint this as a one-sided issue has come back to bite them. They have a lot of ethics problems in their own closet," said Ron Bonjean, spokesman for House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert, Illinois Republican. These first two grafs of this story show that bias is not just a liberal thing. Why should it be? The greatest biasers of the first half of the last century were reactionary Republicans -- Bill Hearst, Hank Luce. That the biz is now knee-jerk left is a tribute to the growth of the, er, professional class in the luxury news suites. This sort of typing reminds us of the bad all days -- and that they haven't left us. Do a little rewriting, and quote a spokespoop for MSSSSSSSSSS. PELOSI instead of THE SPEAKER, and you know the contempt BOTH sides have for their readers.
Posted
11:15 AM
by Gene
And aren't we supposed to run these reviews before they open?
Posted
10:36 AM
by Gene
Pfffffffffffffffffft!!!!! Saturday, May 20, 2006
Posted
8:32 PM
by Gene
Forgive our short memory, but it seems A. O. just reviewed A "MOVIE." It was based on A "BOOK." Isn't that "BOOK", and its epochal success, argument enough that li-te-rah-TEEYURE isn't what it used to be?
Posted
5:36 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:12 PM
by Gene
YaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TEAM!!!!!!!!!! I HATE cheerleading that passes for NEWS.
Posted
5:10 PM
by Gene
I have an idea -- why doesn't he assist his own suicide?
Posted
5:03 PM
by Gene
A LIVING ghost walks on Broadway. Colorless and thin to the point of transparency, it is far scarier than the make-believe ghouls — the vampires and phantoms in opera cloaks — who sometimes occupy the stages around Times Square. Though its guises are many, it always exudes the same damp aura of unconvincing jollity, like that of a superannuated party girl who lost her confidence with her youth and has taken to wearing her daughter's trendy clothes. Such is the face of the American musical in the year 2006. But then I repeat what I said over a year ago: The musical is so dead the corpse has no smell.
Posted
4:50 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:44 PM
by Gene
Now let's see him break* Hank's record. Meantime, America yawns.
Posted
4:40 PM
by Gene
I haven't the foggiest idea why myself. Do you? The Journals should have done an investigative report. Speaking thereof, here's betting come the week before the election, the PAPER OF RE-CORD, the WAPOST or the WALL STREET JOURNALS LIBERAL EDITION runs a P-ULITZER NOMINATION.
Posted
1:58 PM
by Gene
It could have stayed open. The "moviegoers" wouldn't have known the difference. (Via MyWay.com)
Posted
12:20 PM
by Gene
With THAT ego?
Posted
12:01 PM
by Gene
How many of the reporters and editors having an orgasm over the newfound "strength" of the religious left have never gone to church? The article quotes two pastors -- and four "experts." What do they know? The Rev. Joseph W. Daniels Jr., senior pastor of Emory United Methodist Church in Northwest Washington, said a key question for him is whether the religious left will become "the polar opposite to . . . the religious right" or be "a voice in the middle." "What this country needs is strong spiritual leadership that is willing to build bridges. We don't need leaders who are lightning bolts for division and dissension," he said. But lightning bolts we may get, as malevolent forces are organizing for a second Civil War.
Posted
11:41 AM
by Gene
What will really be irritating is all the press releases saying HOLLYWOOD IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But we've said that before. P. S. It is doing less biz than Luke Spielberg's latest GET-A-LIFE epic on any of its first four days, so maybe it's not busting THAT many blocks. A permanent link here.
Posted
11:26 AM
by Gene
Or is it? Does anyone pay attention to him anymore?
Posted
11:19 AM
by Gene
The boys in Daytona think there is no point. They may think wrong.
Posted
11:15 AM
by Gene
Let's see if they're still cheering in December.
Posted
11:13 AM
by Gene
We figure 1. The people protesting him were McKeating plants, 2. Liberals are more intolerant than we thought, and 3. Boobs did this on purpose so as to bulk up his con-SER-va-tive bona-fides. We think it's 2 and 3. Friday, May 19, 2006
Posted
9:46 PM
by Gene
On the other hand....
Posted
6:36 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:31 PM
by Gene
THE GREAT RED, WHITE AND BLUE HOPE [Warren Bell] When did things start to go wrong in this country? Derb might answer, "Day one." But for me, it was the dark moment a few years ago when we lost our dominance in hot dog eating. I think the down trend accelerated when JO-nah (or whoever it was) organized THE CORNER.
Posted
6:23 PM
by Gene
As in MIAMI: Empty condo towers are almost as common as palm trees. Speculators had assumed they could flip the properties before closing. They were wrong. In downtown Miami a spanking-new 860-square-foot one-bedroom condo at 335 South Biscayne Boulevard has a skimpy cap rate of 3.5%. You can rent it from Realtor Jorge Rico for $1,700 a month or buy it for $385,000. Rental income is likely to head downward as still more condos are tossed into a renter's market. As speculative owners struggle to pay mortgages out of meager rental income, for-sale signs will go up. Single-family homes have also been overbuilt in Miami. TRANSLATION: RENDELLISM HAS ITS LIMITS.
Posted
6:18 PM
by Gene
U.N. Panel Backs Closing Guantánamo Darfur Effort Said to Face Collapse SIX OF ONE.... Better make that three; Kofi's boys may have absconded with something.
Posted
6:16 PM
by Gene
The debris that missed Discovery's wing came from a lengthy ramp of foam that served as a windshield for fuel pressurization lines and electrical cabling on the outside of the tank. To prevent a recurrence, NASA removed the ramp from the tank that will fly with Discovery during a planned July 1 launch. Still to be completed, however, are engineering analyses to prove it will be safe to fly without the foam windshield. The concern is that aerodynamic pressure during the first few minutes of flight could rip the pressurization lines or cabling off the tank, triggering another catastrophe. Senior managers will vet the analyses during a two-day meeting in mid-June. At the meeting, senior managers, THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE!
Posted
5:48 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:32 PM
by Gene
Of course, the X-Men open again next week, then comes another Pixar CGI doodle, then another theme-park recreation, and movies for adults recede further beyond the horizon.
Posted
5:28 PM
by Gene
His throne will be assumed by his son, who will continue the dynasty, at least till greedy alumni get him fired for not winning.
Posted
1:39 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:36 PM
by Gene
use the airwaves as a toilet? Poor B. S. DEFENDER. This is worse than what happened to his TWX OPTIONS. PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Posted
1:28 PM
by Gene
This breeze of courage is invigorating. Let's hope the air doesn't soon turn stale.
Posted
11:03 AM
by Gene
The numbers tell the tale. The shrinking of the broadcast network playing field from six to five, as WB Network and UPN morph into CW in the fall, inevitably has led to a reduction in the overall number of new and returning primetime series orders logged for the first time in years. By the end of upfront week Thursday, the five largest suppliers of series programming had orders for 93 series, compared with 111 last year (those figures include some double-counted shows because of co-productions). That SHOULD mean LESS junk television; HOWEVER these sewer outlets can always ramp up production when consumer-products CEOS get in a mood, and the REVERSE ROBIN HOODS of MADAVE are busy now looking for alternate junk to finance -- like cable, Web TV, Pod TV, etc., etc. -- so our dollars can go further in financing junk, and their advertising-department fiefdoms are safe.
Posted
6:46 AM
by Gene
Total political exhaustion envelops the land, inspired by the dense inept Dubya and Democrats who stand for nothing but throwing tantrums. Who will lead us from this morass?
Posted
6:43 AM
by Gene
When I saw this latest PAPER OF RE-CORD squib I thought, the 10,000th screed against Condi. It's just another review of another show in the vast onanistic sector of Manhattan that still does plays, and will soon be washed aside like all else of its genius.
Posted
6:40 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:38 AM
by Gene
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Posted
9:22 PM
by Gene
American Marines 'killed Iraqis in cold blood' Independent 1 hour ago By the way, whatever happened to that guy who got himself beaten up?
Posted
5:42 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:40 PM
by Gene
Sorry, I think you're positing that the fact that you "knew" about 9/11 justifies rummaging through the top secrets. Some might not see it that way.
Posted
2:30 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:07 PM
by Gene
"With each of these investigations come insinuations that those who uncover government wrongdoing, mistakes, and questionable programs are somehow unpatriotic. ... Would we be better served if more attention was focused on what was leaked rather than on tracking who did the leaking? Why does the government need a list of my phone calls? AND WHAT BUSINESS DOES A DEMOCRACY HAVE RUNNING SECRET PRISONS ANYWAY? If the government hasn't told us they exist, how can we ever know who is being held there? Do you think anyone would have known about what was going on at Abu Ghraib if it had been left to the government to announce it? Some would argue those revelations hurt our cause. I would argue the opposite. Bringing mistakes to the fore is a strength, not a weakness. ... WHAT WEAKENS OUR CAUSE IS WHEN THE GOVERNMENT TRIES TO COVER UP MISTAKES, OR PLANT PHONY NEWS STORIES IN FOREIGN NEWSPAPERS OR BRIBE FRIENDLY COLUMNISTS TO TAKE THE COMPANY LINE!!!!!" Alas, even as the patrons of St. Frederick of Friendly stood up and yelled BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, the school's baseball team was caught in an INITIATION. Thanks for the good news, Bob.
Posted
1:59 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:52 PM
by Gene
21-Year-Old BLOGGER Defeats 5-Term Incumbent in State Primary (Pittsburgh Channel) [overemphasis added] (Via MediaBistro)
Posted
1:32 PM
by Gene
OR: ID Database Faces Billions in Overruns, May Not Work
Posted
1:24 PM
by Gene
For once Sen. O'Specter tells the truth! "IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE, GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!" And a plague o' BOTH your houses -- in BOTH your houses.
Posted
1:13 PM
by Gene
This is true. Their lack of courage is amply described in the psychiatric literature.
Posted
1:11 PM
by Gene
And in Arabia....
Posted
1:08 PM
by Gene
These scribblers should kiss the feet of every consumer-products CEO. It's their lush venality that makes their PLOTS possible in the first place.
Posted
1:01 PM
by Gene
I am not impressed. That means 23% of the tickets are being sold to something else. It always happens when there's an overpublicized bore on the market. This is not the sign of a healthy business. A couple of hours later, after the film's red-carpet premiere, the cast was given a standing ovation by audience members who seemed to have enjoyed themselves. And so did the millions who made what by all accounts is the worst-written smash book of all time a success. Which reminds me -- it was the bofferroo book biz that made a super-duper hit out of James "I Lied -- A Little" Frey and The Serial Plagiarist. It's not in a position to be a cultural arbiter either.
Posted
6:53 AM
by Gene
Join AFF at our next Roundtable Thursday, May 18, "What’s your Bottom Line: A Debate on Corporate Social Responsibility.” Is corporate social responsibility—or CSR for short—a new way of thinking about “doing well by doing good?” Or, is CSR simply privatizing socialism by demanding corporations do something more what [SIC] they should be doing: maximizing profits for investors? I think we can safely guess which side AmSpec's on.
Posted
6:49 AM
by Gene
Tom Wolfe -- Aha! The Current Crisis In Washington the other night he spoke for over an hour without notes! R. Emmett Tyrrell, Jr., 5/18/2006 12:08:29 AM This is an accomplishment?
Posted
6:46 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:44 AM
by Gene
No, you may NOT take a bow. Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Posted
10:47 PM
by Gene
Sensenbrenner did not attend a closed-door meeting between Bush political adviser Karl Rove and House Republicans, but said that some members complained to him that Rove didn't stay around for many questions or hear what lawmakers had to say. "The overwhelming majority of those that I talked to who were at the conference believe that he dissed the House Republicans," Sensenbrenner said. That should make it easier in the conference. Sorry for TWO NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!es in ONE day!
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