Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Posted
8:35 PM
by Gene
SEE THE U.S.A. IN YOUR Caddy and Nissan and Toyota and Jeep and Lexus and....
Posted
8:12 PM
by Gene
IN THE GHEEEEEEEEE-TOOOOOOOOOOO.... The SLUMS have absolutely NOTHING to do with Atlantic City's failure -- and all these trumpeting ex-TRUMPSTERS boasting about how WONDERFUL AC was tell me they ignored the GHEEEEEEEEEE-TOOOOOOOOOOOO too. SO DID THE ASSPRESS, which uses words like "ghetto", "slums" and "crime" NOT ONCE. When the commenters are far more revealing than the story, that is the very definition of SUPERFLUOUS. A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD (Feeling Sorry Division) TO WAYNE!
Posted
6:38 PM
by Gene
DEMOCRAT!!! COMMIE!!!!! A former aide to RON!!!!! PAUL!!!!!? (Via Seeking Alpha)
Posted
6:04 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:01 PM
by Gene
A curious hed, especially given that SARAH!!!!! did not start out in television, but apt nonetheless. They have become the Ren and Stimpy of politics, loudmouthed cartoon characters more interested in doing stupid things and ticking people off than leading. No one would mistake either for a leader, except as they lead with their mouths. Of course many other pols are from television, but these two seem to represent nothing else.
Posted
1:24 PM
by Gene
(First link via the usual AHTSJournal)
Posted
11:01 AM
by Gene
1. Is that a threat? 2. Will they better than the LEGENDARY Christmas special?
Posted
10:41 AM
by Gene
And besides, THEIR RATINGS NEVER SLUMPED!!!!!!!!!! Isn't this the same pile of malarkey that runs Ben "DSK" Frankenstein? NUF SAID. Monday, May 30, 2011
Posted
11:27 PM
by Gene
What's good for PEOPLE WARNER may NOT be good for America.
Posted
9:58 PM
by Gene
Oh, please, it's only about how many thousands the producers can charge for the passes.
Posted
9:16 PM
by Gene
P. S. on that DAMNING SI account: I wonder what the former Ohio State student James Thurber would think? I think he would not be surprised. Though he might not have figured on the tattoos. (KEITH O reads the pertinent story here.)
Posted
11:00 AM
by Gene
"In the eighties and early nineties, the movie star was the brand," explains Simon Kinberg, producer of X-Men: First Class. "Then in the nineties, visual effects became the brand. Now, the brand is the brand." "Movie"? What's a "movie"?
Posted
10:28 AM
by Gene
[A]dvances in treatment have further shifted attention from the hunt for a cure. A study released in May found that early anti-retroviral therapy decreases patients’ infectiousness by a striking 96 percent. Today, most people on anti-retroviral drugs achieve an undetectable viral load—there is virtually no HIV circulating in their blood. An idea has taken hold: We can live with this. But we cannot. Doctors will tell you that many patients still fail treatment and die. As people age with the disease, we are seeing that even those successfully treated can lose years of life. A massive multicountry study published in The Lancet in 2008 reported that someone starting therapy at age 20 could expect to live to only 63. The following year, another study found that a group of HIV-positive patients with a median age of 56 had immune systems comparable to those of healthy 88-year-olds. The latent reservoir of HIV seems to be most to blame, producing inflammation that degrades the immune system, increasing susceptibility to age-related diseases. What’s more, research has shown that the drugs themselves can lead to increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, and osteoporosis. The cost of treatment is also unsustainable. In the United States, second-line drugs—for people who don’t improve on standard medications—can total $30,000 a year. Cash-strapped states are trimming programs that pay for these medicines; there are now more than 8,300 people in America on waiting lists for anti-retroviral drugs. In developing countries, drugs are much cheaper—some generic regimens cost only $67 annually—but wealthy nations are wearying of picking up the bill. According to UNAIDS, 10 million people in the Third World who need treatment are not getting it at all. The math of the epidemic is unrelenting: For every three people who start treatment, five new people are infected. A vaccine for AIDS is “probably decades away,” says Daria Hazuda, a vice-president at Merck. “There’s still an enormous amount of hope, but people now realize it’s going to be extremely complicated.” We know now that we will neither treat nor vaccinate our way out of this epidemic. But there could be another way for it to end. And that way apparently involves stem-cell research, and you know what that means. And even this man who has been "cured" of AIDS has suffered lingering side effects. We should always hope to eradicate this scourge, but most likely it will not even be in our great-grandchildren's lifetimes.
Posted
10:05 AM
by Gene
Obviously this writer for Dalliant & Dainty and The Junior Varsity wants him to spendspendspend if that's what it takes -- so long as its other people's money, of course -- meaning the time quickly arrives when we put TheAtlantic.com on our S-LIST.
Posted
9:56 AM
by Gene
Trustee Algenon L. Marbley, reached this morning, declined to comment and said that trustees decided that Gee would speak for the university. We mustn't make fun of names so we'll just say this is what runs football factories. (Via CBS Sports) P. S. at 1:34 p. m. OSU doesn't have to pay Tressel anything We'll see about that!
Posted
9:53 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:51 AM
by Gene
Let's see alternative energy sources work. But if renewable energy is to help compensate for the eventual loss of nuclear power, a broader range of policy measures is necessary to create the kind of monetary incentives developers require. The greatest potential for growth and profit, according to Quitzow, lies in the modernisation of the renewable energy grid – and the key to this is smarter public policy and investment. “Grid development requires large-scale coordination and investment by the government – the private sector alone can’t achieve that,” Quitzow said. Ka-CHINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!!!!!!!!!! Sunday, May 29, 2011
Posted
5:57 PM
by Gene
1. All these CEOs rushrushrushing to get their luxury suites for the NFL may have saddled their companies with all sorts of unusable promotional materials! "There IS going to be a season", says the "chief consumer officer for Mars Chocolate North America" [emphasis added], meaning the bosses have been on HER case for those 50-yard tickets. "P&G...was aware of the potential for a labor dispute when it negotiated its deal", meaning the bosses weren't going to give up their right to yell at THEIR subordinates! We sigh because most likely the billionaires and zillionaires will reach a last-second deal. But wouldn't it be nice if they didn't? 2. Jann Wenner: Magazines' Rush to iPad Is 'Sheer Insanity and Insecurity and Fear' We know He's right, because how many scribblers has HE driven to sheer insanity, insecurity and fear because they haven't met THEIR quota for puff pieces and rave reviews? 3. News Corp.'s Hulu Hope: To Add More Commercials News Corp.'s REAL hope: To drive away viewers while charging more for the ads! 4. You know Corporate America's leaders don't think they've arrived until they've wasted billions on an unnecessary acquisition -- like PEPSICO buying QUAKER OATS. Here's betting Indra doesn't get what Her company paid for it. Who REALLY wants Rice-A-Roni and Life cereal? (Even if we like them.) Quaker today faces some new competition in oatmeal from private label and chains such as McDonald's and Starbucks, as well as cereal, where most brands are down. [Emphasis added] They couldn'ta done it without ADVERTISING!
Posted
4:00 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:52 PM
by Gene
We will confess, though, we'd much rather read him rip up Barbara Sinatra's "memoir".
Posted
2:58 PM
by Gene
The bad news for con-SER-va-tives: They seem to be working. The good news: They're not working that well.
Posted
1:04 PM
by Gene
And that is exactly what Phillies fans hope to see in October. Such typing with five hands, thirty-one fingers and a third of a brain is why I'm starting to think sports hacks are almost as undeserving of employment as "cri-TICS". They sit in the equivalent of a luxury box with their feet on the desk, summoning the glories of the heavens when their team wins and hellfire and brimstone when it loses, making six digits and nonetheless dreaming of Bristol and the guys writing infinite palaver for SI. Okay Bill or Mel or whatever your name is, the Bullies will win ten straight Series, and you'll quintuple your salary, and a regular-season ducat for the nosebleed sections will cost $2,000. How many others will be happy? And how much will it cost our city's already rotten reputation? TRANSLATION: WINNING ISN'T EEEEEEEVERYTHING....
Posted
11:47 AM
by Gene
Obama going to Missouri to offer help in healing Saturday, May 28, 2011
Posted
8:30 PM
by Gene
Oh well, 7,000,000 other people couldn't resist -- since Thursday -- so.... (Via VULTURE!)
Posted
1:52 PM
by Gene
Zillow With a Z Will Break NYSE’s Monopoly on Single-Letter Stock Tickers
Posted
1:13 PM
by Gene
Which should make its way to the Muslim Brotherhood before it's fined nothing for censoring the Web too. (Via NEWSER!)
Posted
11:29 AM
by Gene
Somewhat reluctantly we must post this picture of one of the women (a mug shot!) because as my three readers will know a number of the most notorious cases of statutory rape have involved lookers, which compounds the tragedies. I doubt the woman could act but with just a little makeup tweaking (i.e., the slightly-off-center eyebrows) such a face is ready for Hollywood and far superior to most of those ac-TORS' we've seen -- certainly better than another Jennifer's; I cannot get it out of my head. There but for the grace of God.... (For what it's worth, however, in other pictures her hair isn't streaked and she isn't anywhere near this good-looking.)
Posted
10:51 AM
by Gene
For the last time, San Francisco students filed through the doors of Willie Brown Jr. College Preparatory Academy on Friday morning and past a banner that declared the public school a place "where students' dreams come true." The Bayview district campus never really lived up to that promise. The fourth- through eighth-grade school fell consistently among the worst of the worst schools statewide on standardized test scores. The school was so old that lead-filled pipes made the drinking water unsafe. Willie Brown Prep closed for good Friday. The building is scheduled for demolition, and its 160 students have been assigned to schools across the district for the fall.
Posted
12:06 AM
by Gene
Friday, May 27, 2011
Posted
11:14 PM
by Gene
Posted
8:24 PM
by Gene
Bloomberg, Comcast Argue About Channel Placement You have to think these companies do such things on purpose to distract themselves from the inconvenience of having to serve the public.
Posted
7:33 PM
by Gene
[T]he Times’ ethics policy, within a section called “keeping our detachment,” states that while “Romantic involvement with a news source would create the appearance and probably the reality of partiality,” it’s up to the writer to disclose it to his or her editor, as Pogue did, and that “in some cases, no further action may be needed”.... If we could solve our problems like news hacks....
Posted
7:22 PM
by Gene
Tony Hayward Gets His Life Back When do the people get their GULF back?
Posted
1:35 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:29 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:48 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:32 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:16 AM
by Gene
Speaking of stats, its site boasts that a certain PC politically-incorrect wuhk has busted into its 200 chart with 13,000 COPIES SOLD!!!!! The stat is even less flattering seeing how many people still buy, oh, say, daily newspapers, and magazines, and other such dying things. Well, as we said before, somebody named Paul Whiteman sold 214,575 copies of a whatisit called "Whispering" featuring a slide whistle. The trendy will always be with us. P. S. at 11:51 p. m. In counting words we missed this: Who's to say that in three years or three months or even three weeks that the accepted value of an album won't be .99 cents? I realize that's an alarming (and unlikely, at least in weeks or months) thought for many of you, dear readers. But the decline in the perceived value of recorded music is not exactly a secret in 2011. Keep declining! Thursday, May 26, 2011
Posted
6:29 PM
by Gene
The SUPERMANNING OF AMERICA continues as five thousand people all but engage in fistfights booking "musical" acts for the late-night plugfests. OR: Sullivan had a keen understanding of what various demographic segments of his audience desired to see. As an impresario for the highbrow, he debuted ballerina Margot Fonteyn in 1958 and later teamed her with Rudolf Nureyev in 1965; saluted Van Cliburn after his upset victory in the Tchaikovsky competition in Moscow; and welcomed many neighbors from the nearby Metropolitan Opera, including Roberta Peters, who appeared 41 times, and the rarely seen Maria Callas, who performed a fully staged scene from Tosca. As the cultural eyes and ears for middle America, he introduced movie and Broadway legends into the collective living room, including Pearl Bailey, who appeared 23 times; Richard Burton and Julie Andrews in a scene from the 1961 Camelot; Sammy Davis Jr. with the Golden Boy cast; former CBS stage manager Yul Brynner in The King and I; Henry Fonda reading Lincoln's Gettysburg Address; and the rising star Barbra Streisand singing "Color Him Gone" in her 1962 debut. Occasionally, he devoted an entire telecast to one theme or biography: "The Cole Porter Story," "The Walt Disney Story," "The MGM Story," and "A Night at Sophie Tucker's House." The Civil Wars, Foo Fighters, Janelle Monae, Lady Gaga, TV on the Radio, Grace Potter and the Nocturnals, Animal Collective, Prince, Kesha, Mana, Mindless Behavior, Far East Movement, David Guetta, Fitz & The Tantrums, Freddie Gibbs, Charles Bradley, Gang Gang Dance, Gogol Bordello, Cake -- yes, I'd say that's a pretty fair trade.
Posted
5:43 PM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: Spending zillions running for president is not a crime -- and can't possibly cause one!
Posted
8:38 AM
by Gene
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Posted
10:34 PM
by Gene
A lawsuit is probably hopeless, but at least it could have a cleansing effect -- or would, without those damned PR minions.
Posted
7:43 PM
by Gene
Tribune has paid $157 million to bankruptcy lawyers, advisers They're lucky they didn't.
Posted
7:29 PM
by Gene
I'd never have expected this in Pennsylvania! EDDIE, take a bow! You are proof one can be corrupt though unindicted.
Posted
7:22 PM
by Gene
OR: The nation currently relies on these plants for 40 percent of its energy needs and becomes, as the Journal noted, the second European nation (after Germany) to ditch nuclear energy for now. In the words of ED MURROW I, good night -- and good luck!
Posted
5:56 PM
by Gene
All RIGHT, already! GOODBYE, OPRAH!!!!!
Posted
5:12 PM
by Gene
Remember -- Macs don't need security software! Pfffffffffffffffft! "Mac OS X is no more secure than any other operating system. It has vulnerabilities, and it will let you download and run malware," Miller told Ars. "The difference is that there simply isn't that much malware written for it. The bad guys have focused all their energies at Windows, which makes up the vast majority of the computers out there. However, as market share for Macs continues to inch up, that equation is going to change and bad guys will begin to focus in on Macs, if that hasn't already started to happen. And as I mentioned above, Macs are no more inherently secure than Windows, so when the bad guys decide to go after them with gusto, it'll get ugly fast." James agreed. "Dismissing this by saying people are crying wolf is extremely short-sighted. Macs are attacked less often, but it seems this is one of the first truly sophisticated malware apps for the Mac. It's not over." Y-y-you m-mean St-St-St-Steve is a-a-a F-F-FALSE GOD?!?!? P. S. at 10:57 p. m. I know a lot of Apple users who breathed a sigh of relief yesterday, thinking that Apple’s belated response finally means that the problem is over. As any computer security researcher will tell you, this arms war is just getting started. Apple appears to be treating this outbreak as if it were a single incident that won’t be repeated. They seriously underestimate the bad guys, who are not idiots. Peter James, an Intego spokeperson, told me his company’s analysts were “impressed by the quality of the original version.” The quick response to Apple’s move suggests they are capable of churning out new releases at Internet speeds, adapting their software and their tactics as their target—Apple—tries to put up new roadblocks. If Apple plans to play Whack-a-Mole with these guys, they’re in for months of misery. You kidding? No problem! MACS DON'T NEED SECURITY SOFTWARE! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Posted
1:12 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:38 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:24 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:01 AM
by Gene
(Via the usual AHTSJournal) Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Posted
10:30 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:10 PM
by Gene
INSULT: Many movie theaters don't project the crappy movies properly, using picture-dimming 3D lenses for 2D -- and most theater chains don't care. Then again.... Digital is the future — the Common plans to be all-digital by July — if only because it saves studios millions of dollars a year on processing film prints. Why, then, did Regal and AMC sign contracts in early 2009 — and National Amusements in June 2010 — with Sony, the one manufacturer whose projectors feature the external 3-D lens that’s too expensive and difficult to easily remove for 2-D showings? The reason appears to be a basic business quid pro quo. Sony provides projectors to the chains for free in exchange for the theaters dedicating part of their preshow ads to Sony products. Unfortunately, the 3-D boom took off in late 2009 and Sony had to come up with a retrofitted solution. Said the Phantom Projectionist, “To me it feels like they’re serving people pigeon burgers and telling them its grade-A beef.’’ But what if audiences don’t notice or don’t care that they’re eating pigeon burgers? When queried by a reporter, moviegoers exiting showings at the Common recently were hard-pressed to pinpoint problems with what they’d just seen. An older couple leaving the under-illuminated 7:15 “Win Win’’ showing thought the film looked fine; another patron praised its “creative lighting.’’ Walking out of the 7:05 showing of “Source Code,’’ Gerry Jurrens, 62, of Kingston, N.J., admitted that “in some places it seemed a little grainy, but it still looks better than what I’ve got at home.’’ Educating audiences and overcoming this inertia can be difficult. TRANSLATION: Bad movies need blind viewers. (Via Cartoon Brew)
Posted
11:51 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:47 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:41 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:18 AM
by Gene
Looking alternately freeze-dried and pop-eyed, Portman tries very hard to mimic high emotion in “Black Swan.” She can also be so still in her movies that she comes across as an oil painting.... It’s probably not fair to judge her for her role as Padme in three “Star Wars” prequels since her conical hairpiece made her resemble a snail awaiting liftoff. But couldn’t she at least have cracked a smile? Another exasperating thing about pop-cult writing: too many of the negatives come after the fact. Better after the fact, though, than none, the increasing inclination.
Posted
11:00 AM
by Gene
Glad to see someone's buyin' 'em!
Posted
9:06 AM
by Gene
Alley has lost 38 inches since `Dancing' debut
Posted
8:59 AM
by Gene
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Posted
8:51 AM
by Gene
Pick 'em.
Posted
8:48 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:47 AM
by Gene
Surprisingly, this typetypetyping did not emanate from Romy, that fount of jernalistic think-tank verbiage, but from MediaBistro, which can be just as addicted. Monday, May 23, 2011
Posted
6:58 PM
by Gene
Who will remember Johnny Depp in fifty years?
Posted
6:42 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:38 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:20 PM
by Gene
A NEUHARTHISM OF THE MONTH AWARD TO DICK! (*When PW was still in those businesses. Maybe Goddess didn't do THAT much good, you think?)
Posted
5:39 PM
by Gene
Oh, and since this post serves as a comment to this blockhead's adjectival mastery, does this woman not vaguely resemble one of the immortals the wiener so worships? You know, the one with the boobs? This is Kitty Kallen, and she sang this. And this is why I'm angry. Uh wiener, who writes Katy's, uh, songs? (By the way, wiener -- NOT pronounced "JEWEL".) Sorry for being so intemperate but paid writers don't realize what luck they have. P. S. on 5/28 at 12:40 a. m. An answer to that question: "Dr." Lukasz Gottwald, the Goddard Lieberson of his generation. Well, all right -- the Phil Spector. PFFFFFFFFT!!!!! Another answer: Max Martin, from Sweden, the country that gave us ABBA. WATERLOO! P. P. S. on 5/28 at 1:06 a. m. from Will Friedwald: Songwriter Jimmy Webb told me about a comment he heard from Joni Mitchell: “We used to have lyricists, we used to have composers, we used to have singers, we used to have accompanists and arrangers. Now we have one person doing all those jobs and in a half-assed way!" Will -- that's POP GENIUS! Sunday, May 22, 2011
Posted
6:06 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:03 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:31 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:23 AM
by Gene
As for the FRAUD, the best we can say for Him is He's a babe in the woods; but you don't get to steal tens of millions from the innocent by being innocent. His nonbelief consists of painting God as the sort of caricature Mark Twain had in mind when he sneered of Heaven as peopled with Victorian angels playing harps; He is John Brown, His face lathering with rage, His hair standing on end and His psychotic's flowing beard rigid as steel, forever hurling thunderbolts at His offspring for no apparent reason other than that He's perpetually angry. In the end there's no difference between these two nonbeliefs except that the BRAINIAC's is high-end and the FRAUD's is low-end, but they both come together in agreement of the worthlessness of the species some accident created. Certainly both have hoodwinked the people for profit, in different ways. (And in what must be the sole adult dispatch to come out of the FRAUD's nonbelief, His had victims.) I will not paint myself as any deep thinker on religion -- it's the last thing I'd want to be -- but for my money THE MASTER summed up the unknowable answer neatly in speculating on the existence of ghosts: "All argument is against it; but all belief is for it." Dr. Johnson was perhaps the most powerful intellectual in history. He was also a believer. P. S. at 3:44 p. m. We are now sorry we typed this as we have since delved into this clod from California, and we are not now certain of what he believes -- possibly he doesn't know; but we will say our supposition that he saw God as John Brown came from the notion of an ANGRY GOD, and an angry God would visit all sorts of terrors on a people subject to a predetermined schedule. We should have left well enough alone when we called this stunt "a kind of Beckist or Palinesque populist brain cramp." Given the clod's assets we reserve the right to call him a fraud, and if the stunt was not a pure expression of nonbelief it has surely led to nonbelief in those foolish enough to believe him. From now on we will try to bone up on our subjects before supposing things. Saturday, May 21, 2011
Posted
7:57 PM
by Gene
See what you're missing by not following golf? (Via SI.com link)
Posted
7:12 PM
by Gene
P. S. from Nathan Heller's evisceration of SNL: The way this industry cog constantly rehearses generations-old mythologies about its fearless innovation, wild times, and spunky creativity is too comfortably of a piece with many of today's aesthetic affectations. [Emphasis added] Shouldn't opera be about something more permanent than what happened three years ago? And to put it politely, Tony is affected. (Via the usual AHTSJournal)
Posted
5:35 PM
by Gene
Apple-Loving Tech Columnist Allegedly Hit Wife With iPhone (Via HENRY HONEST!)
Posted
8:24 AM
by Gene
Revenge of the Three-Footed O! Frank Gehry builds a high-end jail! Sighhhhhhhh...another atheistic church. A building made of black, white and gray Lego bricks -- with a special safety feature for unwary pilots! If this police station were in a ghetto neighborhood.... Look, I could haul junk out of a garage, spray-paint it white and call it a "Kaohsiung Maritime Cultural and Popular Music Center" too! The object of this game is to keep from falling into the hole. "Living Roof"? Bad Orthodontia with Black Lips! Stonehenge with a retainer. This is fine for a modernist's daydream, but it's in Manhattan, and after fifteen years it may well resemble an "outdoor living room".
Posted
8:00 AM
by Gene
Friday, May 20, 2011
Posted
10:22 PM
by Gene
How has this formulaic, famously mediocre comedy show outlasted everything else on TV? To which the typist spends another two pages answering -- mostly persuasive, we'll admit. Nonetheless we'll call this a rhetorical question and leave it at that -- except to say it's doubtful the culture can stand for another 36 years of you had to be there.
Posted
8:04 PM
by Gene
Posted
7:51 PM
by Gene
A low [Academic Performance R]ating is costly to Calhoun personally. His contract calls for him to donate $100,000 to a UConn scholarship fund if the program doesn't meet the APR. He also will forfeit his postseason bonus of $87,500, earned during UConn's run to the national title. This is like what happens to a CEO when his options go underwater: He takes a paper hit but his salary's sure to stay the same. This won't hurt much either. (The bulk of the money he makes, up to $3 million in the final year of his contract in 2014, comes from speaking and media fees). [sic] As I said....
Posted
6:11 PM
by Gene
Sorta like -- oh, we can't mention their names, but you know: the guys from the Summer and Fall of Love of '98? "We've moved in in other places," Selig said Friday, as he prepared to give a commencement speech to students at the Medical College of Wisconsin. Given that location we'd ask, is he trying to move in to immortality?
Posted
5:56 PM
by Gene
Someone must tell these corporate buffoons; what was good for St. Jack of Valenti is no good anymore. As for the "appointment" that caused this self-administered rhinoplasty, let's call it what it was: bribery after the fact. (Or let's call it what con-SER-va-tives would: free en-ter-prise -- and the triumph of the First Amendment! Pfffffffffft!)
Posted
5:08 PM
by Gene
Sell one overpriced stock to buy another even more overpriced stock. Excellent advice!
Posted
11:04 AM
by Gene
‘None’ named Most Trusted Political Reporter
Posted
11:01 AM
by Gene
Doesn't every Wall Street Casino concoction that sells for above what it's worth have a mania premium?
Posted
10:09 AM
by Gene
And of course politicians being immortal they don't have to die to win.
Posted
8:54 AM
by Gene
And yet another demonstration of the reverse psychology performed by PR specialists everywhere: MICKEY S serves oatmeal?
Posted
8:47 AM
by Gene
"Basically the valuation looks a little bit rich. They worked very hard to get a favorable price and one could argue the only reason it was up yesterday was support from the sponsoring banks," analyst Nik Stanojevic at Brewin Dolphin said. Aw c'mon, Glencore! Your bankers couldn't pull an overpriced rabbit out of the hat?
Posted
8:44 AM
by Gene
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Posted
9:36 PM
by Gene
How can such a pro-business prime minister wreak havoc on the economy and on the idea of free markets? Because “pro-business” doesn’t necessarily mean “pro-market.” While the two agendas sometimes coincide—as in the case of protecting property rights—they’re often at odds. Market competition threatens established firms, which often use their political muscle to restrict new entries into their industry, strengthening their positions but putting customers at a disadvantage. A pro-market strategy, by contrast, aims to encourage the best business conditions for everyone. That’s in fact the opposite of what a real-estate tycoon wants: to keep competitors out and enhance the value of his own properties. By capturing (or more precisely, purchasing) the free-market flag in the same way one might acquire a business brand, Berlusconi likely has destroyed the appeal of the free-market ideal in Italy for a generation. Okay, con-SER-va-tives! Republicans! Are you pro-market or pro-business? We can guess.
Posted
7:32 PM
by Gene
We only hope this isn't one of those Benny-Allen feuds radio hacks use to goose the ratings, as both mouths work for the same station -- but then again, we wouldn't be surprised. (Via the usual Romy)
Posted
6:34 PM
by Gene
You know, clowns, you could give us 25 things we don't know about a lot of more important, less self-serving topics, things it might serve us to know, things we don't know because news hacks are too lazy or stupid or rich. That we can learn these 25 things from the MESS and JANN says the news biz' rep has a lot further to fall. Really, there must be a contest for the most lame-brained heds on the Web. This would have to be a...finalist.
Posted
5:40 PM
by Gene
And regardless of what in-the-know veteran lia -- publicists like SUE may suggest, siring two kids a few days apart by may not be a career tonic. And one would hope too this might not be the end of the embarrassments, chortlechortle.
Posted
2:19 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:28 PM
by Gene
NBC Sports will still bid for the Olympics, but Ebersol's departure sends a signal that they're not willing to break the bank. ESPN can and will. Meaning It can break Its turnips' banks!
Posted
10:56 AM
by Gene
Is anyone in Europe totally honest?
Posted
10:21 AM
by Gene
"At this rate, LNKD will be bigger than 136 companies in the S&P 500," says Bespoke on Twitter. Of those buying at "tree-top tall prices," David Menlow of IPOfinancial.com advises to "put those people on suicide watch.” Suicide watch? Triple-your-money-in-two-days permanent-prosperity watch! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!! “Some might say the company is overpriced,” Randall says. “I’d say it’s ‘premium valued,’ which is just a ten-dollar Wall Street phrase for the same thing.” Which will be worth TWO HUNDRED in the next three hours! P. S. at 10:46 a. m.: "OK. This is almost hilarious. P/E Ratio for $LNKD right now: 1,221 - SERIOUSLY?! Yes you are reading that correctly," says Bloomberg's Cris Valerio of LinkedIn's (LNKD) debut. Stock did soar to over 100% but is now a mere +90%. GEKKO KUDLOW! WE NEED YOU!!!!!
Posted
10:13 AM
by Gene
(Via the usual AHTSJournal)
Posted
9:39 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:00 AM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: We have OUR party hack.
Posted
8:57 AM
by Gene
Yes, you would have to plug kolledge.
Posted
8:43 AM
by Gene
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Posted
8:20 PM
by Gene
The automaker is working with organizations that promote health among sufferers of chronic disease such as diabetes on a research project to use Ford's Sync connectivity abilities to help monitor health while on the road. The idea is to synchronize an occupant's medical devices with the voice-activated MyFord Touch system. The connection can be via Bluetooth, the computing cloud or from smartphone apps and would be used to seamlessly monitor a person's condition when they are on the road. People spend a lot of time in their cars and the initiatives are seen as a means of continuous monitoring and as an opportunity to use drive time to promote health and manage diseases and conditions such as diabetes, asthma and allergies. "We want to create the car that cares," said Gary Strumolo, Ford manager of vehicle design and infotronics. TRANSLATION: Big Brother's good side.
Posted
8:02 PM
by Gene
Posted
7:36 PM
by Gene
Posted
7:33 PM
by Gene
We will not quote a certain line about underestimating intelligence but MENCK had something to do with Baltimore too.
Posted
5:59 PM
by Gene
I want the apologists to say it's PIRATING.
Posted
1:53 PM
by Gene
Yeah Bashar -- they weren't tough enough! P. S. at 2:36 p. m.: "The recent events in Syria we believe prove that the country cannot go back to the status quo ante," said White House press secretary Jay Carney. "Syria's future will only be secured by a government that reflects the popular will of its people." What sort of scathing words would the TWXSTERS' newsrag use on Tiny Jay if he hadn't written for it?
Posted
11:05 AM
by Gene
But one thing we're sure of: the advertisers are DROOLING! McDoubles, caviar, they're all the same to them, just so they can spend senselessly.
Posted
9:32 AM
by Gene
Of course, I don't think there's much likelihood of a resolution short of exiting the euro (a defacto default). But if there's any hope for a less drastic solution, it just got a lot dimmer. And of course even the drastic solution would be made considerably less catastrophic with timely and competent assistance from the Fund. DSK could have thought of these things before he had his sex fit. Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Posted
8:56 PM
by Gene
In the sad coda to his political career, Schwarzenegger validated all those who had criticized him along the way as a vulgarian and a political naif— a Hollywood production with little below the surface. In Spencer’s assessment, he accomplished little, and made little mark on the state’s politics. “He got elected because he was a star. The problem was, he didn’t know how to govern,” Spencer said. “I don’t know if there is any legacy.”
Posted
8:39 PM
by Gene
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!!!!!
Posted
8:34 PM
by Gene
Four smart and talented people who run networks with a lot of mediocre crap on them. And dozens of mediocre ADVERTISING VICE-PRESIDENTS who want to finance that mediocre crap! [T]he networks [are] try[ing] to buy into that Mad Men allure, only this time with viewers. OooooOOOOOoooooh, I think he means hundreds of thousands of news hacks and cultists aren't viewers! That's an insult! Noticeably absent from this schedule is anything likely to make you wince (intentionally) or endure bleakness for the sake of dramatic quality. Repeat after me: Dark is GOOD! Dark is GOOD!
Posted
7:33 PM
by Gene
Dominique Strauss-Kahn, former head of the International Monetary Fund.... Strauss-Kahn, who until this weekend was the chief of the IMF.... MMMMM-IIIII-CCCCCC...KKKKK-EEEEE-YYYYY... This story has been updated to reflect the fact that the person who spoke to ABC News is a close friend of the alleged victim, not the alleged victim's brother, as originally reported. But not THAT updated! DAH-DA-DUT! DAH-DA-DUT! M-O-U-S-E!
Posted
6:02 PM
by Gene
1. The Muslims are right on this one. 2. Unfortunately a few of their number have their own kicks. 3. Love to know how many of the French think DSK is morally acceptable.
Posted
1:42 PM
by Gene
The Beaver might have been interesting if it was boldly, defiantly, autobiographical – with Gibson holding a toy Adolf Hitler puppet. Or if it was about a stressed beaver with a Gibson puppet.
Posted
11:25 AM
by Gene
Will someone wean our government superiors off RENDELLISM once and for all?
Posted
11:11 AM
by Gene
Kim Kardashian's Newest Fragrance Makes Her 'Feel Sexy'
Posted
11:06 AM
by Gene
If it's any consolation, Steven, I really do think people stopped writing decent tunes, oh, forty years ago.
Posted
10:46 AM
by Gene
(Via Seeking Alpha)
Posted
8:51 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:16 AM
by Gene
You have to wonder -- how many NEWS HACKS knew of Ah-NULT's love child -- but kept quiet because he'd make such a GREAT GOVERNOR? Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!!!!! Monday, May 16, 2011
Posted
10:17 PM
by Gene
JPOD writes something GOOD!
Posted
9:13 PM
by Gene
I'd look in the mirror before blaming George again.
Posted
5:53 PM
by Gene
THUMBS®, your typing is one part pish, one part tosh and 100 percent BULLHOCKEY. ''Movies are becoming like dinosaurs -- their bodies are getting bigger and bigger and their brains are getting smaller and smaller.'' That's all right -- someday we can use the now brainless dinosaurs for OIL! (Revised 5/21/2011)
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