Posted 6:09 PM by Gene

ROMY assumes that THINKER POSE -- AGAIN:

What is intellectual theft for journalists? asks Wasserman

I'd say it's just -- BEING YOU.

Posted 6:04 PM by Gene

As Americans all over say, "WHO?" (sometimes amended with "CARES"), and PUNDITS and SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS whip themselves up into a FRENZY of INSIDER THINKING, I am GLAD WE WON'T HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT THIS ANY MORE.

P. S. This popped up on my computer with the window and tab caption, "Small-454 Graphics Template." That's what this is -- SMALL.

P. P. S. Smaller still are the NEWS HACKS who ENDLESSLY SPECULATED about this FOLDEROL -- and (as is part of the Guild's obligations) ALWAYS GOT IT WRONG.

Posted 2:25 PM by Gene

I guess the big E is feeling slightly guilty about all the FLYING KEYBOARDS and other KNOW-NOTHING MILLIONAIRE BADBREATHS it's sent out into the world; it's hiring -- AN OMBUDSMAN.

PFFH-HH-HH!

Posted 11:29 AM by Gene

Today THE PAPER OF RE-CORD commemorates the Johnstown Flood by running part of the original story from its front page, which makes us reflect that despite an occasional pallid simile (and those we can forgive) maybe news writing wasn't so much worse then than it's alleged to be NOW.

Posted 11:09 AM by Gene

Romy bobbles his bobblehead again to this great pile of profundity:

We have an interpretation gap. There's a natural tension between freedom and sedition that is as old as this country (even during wars). One side has always argued that dissent makes this country stronger, while the other has claimed we should rally around our leaders and the military (sometimes even being willing to jail those who cannot agree).

We may never bridge the gap. Some of us will look at such cartoons, get the point and think of ways U.S. institutions can be made stronger. Others will look at the same sketch, get angry and demand repudiation.

This gap is so wide that it may never be bridged; maybe it's a divide that will always exist in this country. We value freedom too much, the very reason why the First Amendment is incorporated into our founding documents. We laugh, get angry, agree, disagree, write e-mails, make phone calls, cancel a newspaper subscription or find a new favorite cartoonist. It is this contradiction that's the value we share.

Some "editorial-page" chief automatic pilot wrote these words in his sleep. Please, if you're going to defend YOUR side, DEFEND IT. Don't use weasel words, don't cop out. I quote from Ben Jonson AGAIN:

He that will sweare, Ieronimo, or Andronicus are the best playes, yet, shall passe vnexcepted at, here, as a man whose Iudgement shewes it is constant, and hath stood still, these fiue and twentie, or thirtie yeeres. Though it be an Ignorance, it is a vertuous and stay'd ignorance; and next to truth, a confirm'd errour does well; such a one the Author knowes where to finde him.

That's the problem when the HACKS go into their EITHER-OR mode; we don't know where to find them -- though THERE they be, hiding behind a post. At least when Ann Coulter and THE GLIBERAL blather, they unveil their prejudices to all the world, like a flasher. I repeat, either you ARE or you AREN'T. YOU CAN'T BE BOTH.

Posted 10:59 AM by Gene

Another victory for justice: The Nine Fingers posit unanimously the Justice Department ruined Arthur Andersen for nothing, which, if so, proves government crackdowns on white-collar crime are sometimes glorified vendettas.

Posted 8:30 AM by Gene

Let's see, Vlad remembered his KGB roots, and Mik read The Godfather.

I suspect one would be hard pressed to find a hero in this story.

Posted 8:28 AM by Gene

In other news of show-biz love and romance:

Actor Christian Slater arrested for allegedly groping a woman

For God's sake, what did he do most actors DON'T?

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

Lech Walesa for secretary general.

Are you kidding? He was anti-Communist.

Posted 8:18 AM by Gene

RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S girlfriend is engaged, which inevitably makes us think of Liz Taylor's first marriage, which inevitably makes us think -- Liz Taylor was pretty.

Posted 7:34 AM by Gene

A columnist who shares a name with OMERTA (just missing an H) OPENS HIS MOUTH, AND:

The media are under attack because we try to find stuff out. We are under attack because we say what we believe to be true. (Even more annoyingly, we are protected by the Constitution.) We are a reality-based institution in a faith-based culture, and we are paying for it. Journalists die doing their jobs, which is more than you can say for lobbyists, TV commentators or corporate lawyers.

The problem is that we are fair-minded. We know that we make mistakes. We want to get better. The fair-minded have no chance against zealots. Zealots lie because the ends justify the means, and we say, "Oh, gosh, we're going to investigate and strive and improve." Are the zealots going to investigate and strive and improve? Of course not: They have an agenda, and the agenda does not include self-assessment. The zealots are working out of the Che Guevara handbook, friends.

Do the media do awful stuff? You bet they do. Should the media strive to get better? You bet they should. Should they stop cravenly caving in to every hack with a megaphone? Absolutely -- we do our best, and without us, citizens would really be in trouble. We're a goddamn bastion, and it would be nice if we acted proud of that once in a while.

And also, if I could say, what we do is very hard. Not me; I just sit at home in my bunny slippers woolgathering about red-necked phalaropes.

Someone who believes that a JERNALIST's death in war is MORE TRAGIC than a soldier's (most JERNALISTS do) probably ought to sit at home in his bunny slippers woolgathering about red-necked phalaropes.

By the way, wouldn't it be more accurate to say the zealots work out of the Joe Goebbels handbook? Just a suggestion.

ROMY shakes his bobblehead again.

Posted 7:06 AM by Gene

Elsewhere in the world of what is alleged to be music, an ad-blurb copywriter gets excited because FIVE TUNELESS BANDS HAVE RACKED UP SALES!!!!!

Okay flack, let's add up your numbers -- 271,563 + 464,559 + 453,488 + 283,331 + 269,338 = 1,742,279. Knowing how the record mafia inflates numbers that's still very much less than ten percent of what WACKO supposedly did with his "MASTERPIECE" -- and most of these prematurely deaf fans buy multiple albums. I'm IMPRESSED.

And a special NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD for the finger-calisthenics practitioner who typed: "DON'T KNOCK THE ROCK: CD SALES SURGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" You have a future -- only we hope it isn't in the NEWS BIZ.

Posted 7:04 AM by Gene

Meanwhile, in an interview Larry the Court Jester couldn't snatch, Joe Jackson says he's had trouble sleeping lately -- strange as EVERYONE ELSE caused this TRIAL.

This guy will never be able to look himself in the mirror and see HIS SON.

Not that he may want to.

Posted 6:55 AM by Gene

Iraq insurgency in 'last throes,' Cheney says

Let us hope so. NEWS HACKS let Dick have it for his what the boys at EAU DE TOILET called an ARROGANT BLUNDER; to this day they still high-five Jonny Alter in that luxury news suite. To be sure, had NEWS HACKS gotten their way we'd be out of Iraq -- and holy cockroaches would be in.

P. S. I guess "wide-ranging" is another way you justify yourself for all the money you pay that creepy sycophant.

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

PAUL DRECK's panicking. Two weeks ago he said his friend LUKE SPIELBERG would bring us out of the slump with His FX and His marketing, and His toadying ad-blurb salesmen writing raves, and thence lead us into the Promised Land of B. O., so what happens? Two down weeks with His movie -- and fourteen overall. What are we going to do? I've got it, Paul -- MAKE UP MORE NUMBERS!

Saith the Dreckman:

"It takes a lot more to excite people today, and the crop of movies this year other than `Star Wars' and the movies that opened this weekend haven't inspired audiences to make that step and go to the theaters."

If you didn't work for SAMMY GLICKMAN and for all those HACKS who are TOO LAZY TO REPORT, we'd translate this as follows:

MOVIES STINK.

Posted 1:11 PM by Gene

A mobile phone ring tone based on an imitation of the sound of a Swedish moped is expected to become the leading music single in Britain.

Can people tell the sound of a moped from the singles?

Posted 12:41 PM by Gene

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh:

THE longest debate on the floor of the state House of Representatives this year was not about capital punishment or civil unions for gay couples.

It was about whether to remove soft drinks and candy bars from public-school vending machines, stores and cafeterias.

Proponents, nearly all Democrats, argued that banning products of minimal nutritional value would help combat childhood obesity. But critics, mostly Republican, painted the bill as "feel good" legislation that would do little to fix the problem. For eight straight hours on May 18, they derided their colleagues for second-guessing local superintendents and school boards and conjured up images of children bootlegging Hershey bars and cases of Coke from school parking lots.

Why must things be either-or? Why must we be knee-jerk on both sides? Why is it the only people who display "independence" of thinking are infernal wobblers like Sen. McPain, or charlatans like Slick?

Posted 12:38 PM by Gene

Book: Lindbergh had 7 German children

Will we ever understand him?

Posted 7:49 AM by Gene

I would love to know why these last two weeks my hits have dried up. I'm convinced G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER has something to do with it, with its quixotic administration of the "Next Blog" function on its toolbar; but I've given up getting a straight answer from the Clem Kadiddlehoppers of Mountain View as they regard their redoubt as a CIA of capitalism -- which in some unflattering ways it is. I may switch blog services anyway, though I've had no reason to complain with the Clems -- for once.

Posted 7:35 AM by Gene

LITTLE HOWIE HAIRSHIRT MAKES STERNO FAMOUS IN THE WAPOST!!!!!

A story like this should not run for the same reason THE PAPER OF RE-CORD should not have let that toady Laura allow the wife of a former staffer to plug a movie. This whole episode reeks of backscratching; clearly Little Howie LIKES the guy, and had planned this for some time. To complete the puzzle he doesn't at all question how a BIGMEDIA man can suddenly change his stripes. He hasn't; his last two jobs have been with BIGMEDIA. There's too much favor granting by HACKS, whether it's the anonymous source seeing his revenge plastered on the front page, or the show-biz groupie seeking virtual sex through rave reviews. THIS is why we've come to hate the hacks, and it has little in common with THE DO-NOT-CALL LAW.

Posted 6:01 PM by Gene

THE PAPER OF RE-CORD runs a thumbsucker about COMPROMISE, so what does it do? It runs a picture of the VERY COMPROMISING LBJ -- and captions it:



Senator Lyndon B. Johnson, in 1958 -- with a Republican. [Emphasis added.]

Yep, that guy sure compromised -- and nearly took us with him.

Posted 5:38 PM by Gene

Speaking of IGNORANT, for once the French prove -- NOT.

Posted 5:34 PM by Gene

Speaking of DAMN, had this WOMAN WON at Indy we'd NEVER have heard the END of it -- it would have been sheer POLITICAL INDOCTRINATION for the next THREE DAYS, similar to what happened when Anna What's-Her-Name qualified in a men's golf tournament. If this be NEWS I'd rather be IGNORANT.

Posted 4:58 PM by Gene

Many years ago John Adams (John Who?) said of July 4,

"I believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great
anniversary festival....[I]t ought to be celebrated by pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires and illuminations from one end of this continent to the other...."

John Adams had cause to celebrate; he helped found a nation. His heirs of the next century had cause to celebrate; they brought the nation to maturity after a costly Civil War. Those the century after had cause to celebrate: they successfully fought two world wars. What do we have to celebrate? Despite our easy wins over the forces of evil they left a sinister unspoken message they'd be back. And what do we have to fight for? RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S airhead girlfriend? Luke Spielberg? [C]RAP? The maroons of Congress?

I sigh ineffectually because on the top of its front page KnightRidder's Dinky Inky celebrates that the damfool Bob Geldof is bringing one of his dubious relief fundraisers to our town, with what the Dink alleges to be "big acts" (though he and it don't name them), and they'll be in the middle of the Independence weekend, and I think, these clowns wouldn't know the Declaration of Independence if it went in on side of their thick skulls and out the other. All this means more traffic, and more self-congratulation, and more MUTED questions about where the money's going (WHAT HAPPENED WITH LIVE AID I?), but the Dinky Inky MUST run this piece of PR junk because it thinks it will sell papers. Or as some hack named Klein must type, "It will be July 2 on Ben Franklin Parkway, in the middle of the city's JAM-PACKED!!!!! Fourth of July festivities...." "Jam-packed" is a reason the sooner computers write and edit our papers THE BETTER.

P. S. The next time the Dinky Inky feels the compulsion to sell coming on it should ape its corporate cousins in Detroit. Running an ad on the front page has the virtue of HONEST SELLING.

OR:

"I haven't seen the advertisement that covers 1A of today's Free Press, but I'm even more outraged by what's actually on 1A. Half the front page is devoted to a readers' survey of who the Detroit Pistons' most valuable player is."

Who says a paper has to report what you NEED to know?

P. P. S.



The only good thing about looking this up on DinkyInky.com is that we get to see that beautiful behind again.

Posted 2:17 PM by Gene

Another HERO for the GLIBERAL to column BEHIND THE WALL BY:

Mother indicted for hiring stripper for son's birthday party

"Who are they to tell me what I can and can't show to my own children?" the mother said.

I think we have a motto for TV WATCH!!!!!

STERNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 2:04 PM by Gene

PINCH stumbles and pratfalls onto something -- in an article about sex manuals -- in THE LAST TWO GRAFS:

As the sex books become ever more steamy, some publishers, even the more venturesome, are already thinking of backing away. "There are still places you can go with these books," Ms. Regan suggested, "but I don't want to go there."

"Social regulation, courtship, flowers, romance, those are things that seem newer right now," she added, "Maybe the only place to go is to get prudish again."

Either way this is IDIOCY: the idiocy of PINCH trying not to seem like the RIGID INTOLERANT IDEOLOGUE, the idiocy of the RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! assistant trying to toady to CONSERVATIVES. Either way, IT WON'T WASH.

Posted 8:33 AM by Gene

Some See 'Moral Values' Hijacked by the Right

BIAS? WHAT BIAS?

The only time a news hack goes to church is when he hears HIS GOSPEL.

P. S. ESPNCORPNETWORKNEWS.com tells us this story ran on TV May 21, which tells us it's not news, even if it's atop the home page.

Posted 8:18 AM by Gene

So Denny's a hack pol. Who knew?

So St. Warren won't come down on Democrats. Who knew?

Hacks may think they're winning P-Ulitzers with such prose, but the increasingly impatient reader only thinks people somewhere are grinding axes, axes that may go dull when necessary, and he's annoyed by the sound.

Posted 8:05 AM by Gene

ANOTHER IDEOLOGICAL PRETZEL: Texas will execute you for stealing a pack of gum. The state legislature has just passed a law allowing life without parole. Gov's keeping mum, presumably because executing people for stealing a pack of gum is good politics. "Death penalty opponents" hope it passes so that they can get their jollies creating martyrs while endorsing abortion, as many do.

And politics continues ever onward, the smirk unwipable from its face.

Posted 7:33 AM by Gene

The Republican court nominees should be people with the mental toughness to withstand the pressures to wobble. The leaders of the legal and media professions are "Living Constitution" types who dole out applause and honors to those who invent new constitutional rights and penalties to those who don't. For his role in conjuring up the Roe decision out of emanations and penumbras, the lackluster Harry Blackmun is lionized and hailed as "a feminist icon" in a new book, Becoming Justice Blackmun, by Linda Greenhouse, the New York Times Supreme Court reporter. ("The Greenhouse effect," referring to the warm reciprocity between court reporters and justices who meet with their approval, is named for her.) An example of the penalties for dissent is the treatment of Justice Antonin Scalia at Amherst College last year: The announcement that he would speak drew heated protests and written condemnation from 16 professors, including four who taught legal courses but didn't believe that a Supreme Court justice they disagree with should be heard. Changing the court will be an uphill struggle. The naming of pleasant centrists won't do the job.

NUF SAID.

Posted 7:25 AM by Gene

Smithsonian to Screen a Movie That Makes a Case Against Evolution

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

I'm not sure the Smithsonian should lend its name even indirectly to the contentious business of intelligent design; after all, it's lent its name directly to PC HISTORY. On the other hand, we know the LIBERALS' attitude: "Whatever it is, we're AGAINST IT!"

Posted 7:09 AM by Gene

Thank GOD some CONSERVATIVES take OUR SIDE!!!!!

Like Grover Norquist, SLEAZY FRIEND of SLEAZY ARABS.

After L'AFFAIRE DE TOILETTE it appears NOTHING has changed at BLUNDER; we're still out to get conservatives and Republicans, and use our evidence selectively.

OR:

Our television stations produce high-quality local news and information programming and strive to be constructive members of their communities.

Nothing about the REST of the broadcast day, ST. WARREN! HARDY-HAR-HAR!!!!!

Meantime to prove we RESTROOM SCOOPERS are MORAL, we come down hard on kids turning twenty-one drunk. Proof there are SOME causes for which we NEED GOVERNMENT. Never mind kids get drunk at twenty, nineteen, eighteen, seventeen, SIXTEEN....

Which reminds us, so long as there are Devin Gordons, there will be Hitler Diaries, and Joe Kleins, and TOILET BOWLS.

Posted 7:03 AM by Gene

From a DUNGEON of DEAFNESS:

How to Keep Your Hearing

A LITTLE BIT LOUDER, PLEASE!!!!!

Thank God (er, ST. WARREN) Luke Spielberg's other film is coming up -- and THIS TIME it's on OUR COVER! HEAR THAT, MR. MARK?????

Whatever happened to MIKE ISIKOFF? Nothing, as we suspected. EVERYTHING JUST LIKE BEFORE, MR. MARK?????????? CAN YOU HEAR US???????????????

Posted 5:33 PM by Gene

Oscar-winning director Oliver Stone was arrested for investigation of drug possession and driving while intoxicated, police said Saturday.

It couldn'a happened to a NICER guy.

Calling FIDEL CASTRO! DUBYA's holding Olly as a POLITICAL PRISONER!!!!!

Pffh-hh-hh!

Posted 12:08 PM by Gene

LAUGH OF THE DAY:

In New York, Fringe Politics in Mainstream

Hey PINCH, with YOUR BIBLE fringe politics have ALWAYS been in the mainstream.

Posted 11:33 AM by Gene

MORE NOBLE TRUTH TELLING IN A FLASH FROM A SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER!

King Fahd is Dead (according to the Washington Times)
Will this hasten change in Saudi Arabia?

Are you CHARLES JOHNSON'S LONG-LOST BROTHER?

The SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER ROG linked to a UPI story -- and sorry to say it, ROG, UPI these days may not be DEBKA, but it ain't that far away.

Maybe THAT'S how I can get hits -- just type anything that comes to my head and call it NEWS! Other bloggers do -- and they're merely aping THE PRESS.

And of course, in his NEXT POST ROG demands "SCRUPULOUS ACCURACY" from BLOGGERS.

Pffh-hh-hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

Posted 9:32 AM by Gene

Now a Navy SEAL's been acquitted of abuse charges.

What is with this? All these people should be CONVICTED AND EXECUTED even if they're innocent. I think it's a conspiracy. I think DUBYA and RUMMY...oh, never mind. That's what MOVEON thinks.

Posted 7:07 PM by Gene

An INDIGNITY: in the Yahoo! home page Flash ad for The Longest Yard someone MISSPELLED JOEL SIEGEL'S (ER, SEGAL'S) NAME!

Maybe he ought to fake reviews, like that Sony guy. Oh, I forgot. He already does.

Posted 6:20 PM by Gene

After posting on Laura's suck-up this morning I was depressed to realize practically everyone associated with the TV Bewitched is dead.* (You want gloom? Read this page about Dick York.) Now comes word that an icon of godawful sitcoms, the veteran trouper Eddie Albert, has died, and that means next to no one's left from Green Acres either. (Eva Gabor, for instance, died in 1995.) As genuinely, mortifyingly BAD as Filmways's sitcoms were -- indeed their supreme BADNESS helped inspire the never-ending show-biz disaster that followed -- we can't help mourning, as with the likely end of the Star Trek franchise. Despite their aggressively awful situations and "jokes" and their non-stop laugh tracks (and was ever any TV star more exasperating than Pat Buttram?) they defined, for better or worse (mostly worse) the growing up of millions, and however dreadful Green Acres and The Beverly Hillbillies and Petticoat Junction and The Addams Family were, the highly-polished worse that takes their place is nothing.

*Bewitched's initial sponsor was Chevrolet, and it's still around, but then GM hasn't felt too well lately.

Posted 6:05 PM by Gene

Another underreported story (I got it thorugh a David Frum link): Britain's scrambled eggheads have called off their boycott of Israeli universities. Now let us hope these learned ignorami can keep their bigotries under control.

101 links in Google News, so maybe it isn't THAT ignored.

Posted 6:01 PM by Gene

Indonesia has given an Australian woman twenty years in the hoosegow for smuggling nine pounds of pot.

Isn't this the country that gives you six months for plotting a terrorist attack or something?

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

Wisam Younis' sole ambition in life, he said Friday, is to kill Americans. So he claimed surprise when he discovered his car bomb had killed eight Iraqis and wounded more than 80 outside a Baghdad restaurant.

WHOOPS! Guess we killed the wrong Americans.

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

GLIBERAL! One of your HEROES was UP to something:

A porn princess who sizzled on the screen as "Farrah" flopped when she allegedly tried to swindle money out of a bank using the name Olga Mendoza - and was cooling her high heels last night in a New Jersey jail....

Cops believe the 30-year-old ex-stripper worked for a New York-based crime ring that specialized in looting legitimate bank accounts.

Organized crime? No, FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION.

Posted 5:04 PM by Gene

Netscape 8: Microsoft Has A Problem

TIME WARNER, Netscape has a problem -- its market share is between negligible and nil.

If it's any consolation it was my favorite Web browser -- five years ago.

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

'Next few days are critical,' source tells NBC News.

When does the coup begin?

Posted 4:52 PM by Gene

CENSORRRRRRRRRRSHIP! MARY KAY PULLS ITS ADS FROM THE GREATEST PROGRAM IN NETWORK TV HISTORY!!!!!

I'm no fan of the crackpot Rev. Wildmon, but GOD teaches us that if LIBERALS did the same thing He and His Holy Brethren of the luxury news suites would exalt it to the HEAVENS. SHUT UP, GOD and Your friends. You had Your chance.

Posted 3:22 PM by Gene

Joshua Block, a 12-year-old shareholder, wanted to know if anything was going behind closed doors that investors should be aware of.

He noted that last year, Redstone said his relationship with then COO Mel Karmazin was fine and within a matter of months, Karmazin was gone.

Hey SUMNER! Why don't you appoint young JOSHUA to run VIACON! This kid knows your BUSINESS -- and he'd be CHEAPER!

Posted 3:18 PM by Gene

Dancing bees speak in code

Hey bee! Do you think you could teach me how to dance and speak in code?

Posted 3:14 PM by Gene

The former national finance director for Hillary Rodham Clinton's Senate campaign was acquitted Friday of lying to the government about a lavish 2000 Hollywood fundraising gala.

There goes that conspiracy. Now ON TO THE WHITE HOUSE!

Posted 3:09 PM by Gene

Conference on Nuclear Arms Offers No New Action

This is news?

Posted 3:01 PM by Gene

Ooooooooooooooooh, the Saudis are in A STATE OF ALERT! The beloved GRAND ROYAL POOHBAH is in the HOSPITAL! REBELLION LURKS!

Does that mean WE have to go on a state of alert too?

King Fahd, who moved Saudi Arabia closer to the United States during his two-decade rule....

If we've been closer what would be drifting apart?

Posted 8:29 AM by Gene

Finally, someone comes out for term limits for federal judges. But Jeff Jacoby doesn't come near what we ought to do -- ELECT the Nine Fingers.

Posted 6:47 AM by Gene

Movies will NOT get one iota better so long as well-paid stenographers like LAURA quote PAUL DRECK saying the movies WILL get better.

[Amy Pascal, who inflicts a no-doubt triple-type-A personality on us running Sony Pictures,] predicted that "Bewitched," a romantic comedy about a producer who unwittingly hires a "real" witch for the lead role in a remake of the television show, would have a broad appeal. "If it was a straight-ahead remake of the show," she said, "we would have been guilty of doing the ordinary."

Does that mean the husband's GAY? Dick Sargent was. That counts as NEW THINKING in Hollywood.

And since this dictation taker was able to quote this type-triple-A type with a straight face, we give her -- A NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK AWARD!

BERNIE WEINRAUB LIVES!!!!! (I forgot -- that's AMY PASCAL'S HUSBAND. How much interviewing got done -- and how much REMINISCING?)

Posted 6:30 AM by Gene

I LIKE ADVERTISING. I WORKED in advertising for years. But advertising can cut its own throat. Surely a great many radio commercials are doing just that. If you create a commercial that immediately makes listeners turn down the volume or, worse, turn the radio off, what good does that do?

For starters it finances companies like CHEAP CHANNEL, who can solicit more ANNOYING RADIO ADS, which keep THE WHEELS OF AMERICAN INDUSTRY TURNING!

Posted 6:26 AM by Gene

"Compared to the previous eras, the members literally have no time but to come to town, attend committee meetings, cast a whole lot of votes, go to triple-booked fundraisers, then get out of town," says Mike Franc, a former congressional staffer now at the Heritage Foundation.

I feel so sorry for them. So now it is an achievement when they do things like this week's filibuster buster.

PLEASE. Lots of people do good works that don't get credit from toadies in papers -- and at least THEY matter.

Posted 6:24 AM by Gene

We need someone to interpret THE PRESIDENT at his press conferences?

How about someone to interpret NEWS HACKS?

Posted 5:22 PM by Gene

The next big blah:

NBC News Chief in Talks to Step Down

Why should we care? Katie will still tell us what to think, Brian will still tell us what to think, and the manufacturers of INCONTINENCE AIDS and DENTURE CLEANERS will still BUY ITS AIR TIME.

Posted 5:12 PM by Gene

And speaking of dishonesty, the hacks are campainging already:

Poll: Majority may vote for Clinton

BUT:

But opposition to 2008 run equally strong[SIC]

OH.

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

More COURAGE from NEWS HACKS:

'Click and Clack' Dropped From Va. Paper After Advertisers Complain

Of all the topics NEWS HACKS refuse to cover honestly, three they won't cover honestly because their sponsors have their hands in the luxury news suites: autos, real estate and SHOW-BIZ. If they can't cover these three topics honestly, why should we trust them to cover ANYTHING honestly?

Posted 5:05 PM by Gene

More EXCITING NEWS from the THEA-TAH:

Caine Mutiny to Open on Broadway Next Season; Zaks Directs

Isn't this only the twentieth time for this play? Or am I thinking Twelve Angry Men?

Posted 5:01 PM by Gene

From a register tape for a purchase of Chef Boy-ar-Dee Spaghetti and Meatballs at a RONG-AID:

1 CBAD SPGHT MEATBAL14.75Z

Who put the CON in the AAAAAAAAAAAA-GRA?
Ba-doom-boom!
COOOOOOOOOON-AAAAAAAAAAAA-GRA!
BOOM!

Posted 1:51 PM by Gene

Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney has hinted that he’s shifted his position on abortion since his first run for public office, when he pledged to keep abortion "safe and legal in this country."

"Understand, over time one’s perspective changes somewhat," Romney told USA Today. "I’m in a different place than I was probably in 1994, when I ran against Ted Kennedy, in my own views on that."

He added: "I’m personally pro-life."

You running for president?

Posted 1:49 PM by Gene

World must race against time to save Darfur - Annan

I guess the World Saver remembered the story of the tortoise and the hare -- AGAIN.

Posted 11:49 AM by Gene

All charges dropped against Marine in killing of two Iraqis

SHUCKS HACKS, we can't make these charges STICK! Oh well, better luck next frame-u -- TIME.

Posted 10:54 AM by Gene

Surprise: in one of the JOURNALS' puny giveaways, a columnist discloses what any decent blogger might have suspected: most blogs, for all practical purposes, are nonexistent or abandoned; and that the medium is largely -- must use the term again, as he uses it -- DEAD AIR.

Hmmm, and THIS is interesting:

ComScore Media Metrix and Neilsen//NetRatings are the sources most often used by online advertisers to track unique visitors. Neither tracks blogs as a matter of course, though comScore did look up traffic for 13 prominent blogs in April, upon my request (I picked ones from the top of the various rankings). Just five met the company's minimum threshold for statistical significance of about 150,000 monthly visitors. Media and gossip site Gawker had the most, with 304,000 unique visitors. The others that cleared the cut: Defamer (287,000), Boing Boing (250,000), Daily Kos (212,000) and Gizmodo (209,000). Among those that didn't were prominent political blogs Instapundit, Power Line and Eschaton. (I asked NetRatings about the same 13 blogs, and it had reportable data only for Defamer, Daily Kos, Boing Boing and Gizmodo -- and the sample sizes didn't meet standards for statistical significance.) [Emphasis added.]

And still I continue, typing away for nothing.

P. S. Nothing from the Professor, yet -- and less, we suspect, from the POP-UP BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM.

Posted 10:29 AM by Gene

I guess I'm back on "Next Blog" again. Why in God's name can't somebody link to me? Why must I rely on the Clem Kadiddlehoppers of Mountain View for my hits?

Posted 9:56 AM by Gene

First it was 2006. Now it's December 31, 2008. And most people use their HDTVs to view DVDs. Figure another five years after that before digital is mandatory -- and knowing the CONGRESSPOOPS, they'll give the store away again, to the GREEDCASTERS.

Posted 9:54 AM by Gene

Company Logos on Jerseys? No Sweat, Say the Suits

The ATTITUDE BOYS are preparing for the LOCKOUT.

P. S. Given all the CEOs who want LUXURY BOXES the uniforms may soon resemble badly-pasted-over BILLBOARDS.

Posted 9:49 AM by Gene

Speaking of [C]RAP, I'm becoming convinced Syracuse University is like the colony that breeds under the rock -- or in this case the Carrier Dome. You have Jim Boeheim and his basketball factory, you have the hip crank PERFESSER THOMPSON, and you have THIS GUY. Who called it HYER EHDYUKAYSHUN? This place is lower than SLUGS.

Caveat: this is DAVID HOROWITZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted 9:36 AM by Gene

The Times (for ONCE we won't call it THE PAPER OF RE-CORD) devotes a special section to the Chrysler Building, that masterpiece from every angle. As Michael J. Lewis writes with true insight,

Every work of art bears the stamp of the age that made it, but some do so with special clarity. Michelangelo's "David" embodies the Renaissance conviction that the human form was a divine creation and the apex of beauty. The Cathedral at Chartres makes light more important than structure, and expresses the triumph of the spiritual over the material that constituted medieval faith. And the Chrysler Building embodies, as no other building does, the America of the 1920's.

The Twenties were a mammoth decade, surpassed only by the Revolutionary years, or the 1840s, or the Gay Nineties. This singular work of genius by Walter P. Chrysler and William van Alen embodies its optimism, its excess, its zeal, its brilliance. Yes, every work of art bears the stamp of the age that made it, and ours will live forever through American Idol, and [C]RAP, and the permanence of BLOGS.

Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft!

P. S. Who took that marvelous picture? And why must BUGMEISTER BILL own it?

Posted 6:59 AM by Gene

Stories about subjects like TV ratings could easily be boiled down to a couple of charts, but Bill Carter must perpetually gas in order to perpetually network (no pun intended). The bottom line is, the Big Four averaged 43 million viewers this last season -- among a population of 290 million. Our media masters grow further disconnected from the peons.

Posted 6:44 AM by Gene

Speaking of "comedy" (and speaking of RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), Major Bowes discovered Frank Sinatra. Arthur Godfrey discovered Patsy Cline. Ted Mack discovered Paul Anka and Ann-Margret. Who has RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! discovered but flash-in-the-pans and national jokes?

P. S. RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! flies in a corporate jet "for security reasons", the latest excuse for CEOs to avoid humans. Just as well: WE avoid an ALIEN.

Posted 6:36 AM by Gene

Our modern culture depresses me in no small way because so many find talking to themselves a conversation. Such it is with this alleged indie rock-geek comedian circuit in New York: everyone plays to vest-pocket crowds while convincing themselves they're the latest thing. This is just an offshoot of the Great White 1-0-0 circuit, only on a slightly higher and more PR-savvy plane. Where is the cultural sensation who is not content to stare at his navel?

Posted 6:14 PM by Gene

WE FLUSHED THE KORAN DOWN THE TOILET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OR (THIRTEENTH of TWENTY-ONE GRAFS):

The newly released FBI records do not indicate whether the allegations were investigated or substantiated.

At this rate every other link in ROMY will deal with "Why the public doesn't trust us."

Posted 5:59 PM by Gene

ZONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN seems intent on taking all his former top VIACON LOUDMOUTHS off the PUBLIC AIR!

GO FOR IT! We'll NEVER hear of them AGAIN.

Posted 5:52 PM by Gene

The DEMOCRATIC future of TV for EVERYBODY [LAST GRAF]:

Once every few months, Harvey, a video-game producer, takes time off to travel and record important Buddhist religious leaders giving speeches, which account for most of his programming. Interested listeners also can download meditations but, Harvey admits, "they are just a lot of dead air."

Posted 5:35 PM by Gene

Between the damfool SOUTH PARK CONSERVATIVES and Andrew's favorite columnist endorsing The Worse it Gets, The Better it Is -- Why Show-Biz is Good for You, the CORNER calls itself CONSERVATIVE?

Surprise: Neither book's on the USAOKAY!!!!! list. But THE FLYING KEYBOARD is 58th -- and On Bull---- is 90th. Come to think of it, that's a good title for most books.

Posted 5:20 PM by Gene

Jackson's Defense Rests

What will the cable networks do?

Posted 5:10 PM by Gene

The 238-to-194 vote fell short of the 290 votes needed to override a veto.

TRANSLATION: The perfect story for the summer silly season.

Posted 5:08 PM by Gene

Barry Diller, whom show-biz flacks once saw walking on water, says he might change Ask Jeeves' name.

TRANSLATION: 1. He paid too much, and 2. What's bad as Ask Jeeves won't get any better as Ask OR Jeeves.

Posted 12:24 PM by Gene

What is with G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER? I haven't gotten ANY hits from the toolbar this past week! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAANYBODY OUT THERE?

Posted 11:33 AM by Gene

I see no difference between this stunt and this stunt except one's political. More cheap stunts like these and we'll have NO reason to even surf for news.

Posted 11:21 AM by Gene

New York Times Co. on Wednesday said it planned to cut 190 jobs, or about 2 percent of its work force, including reductions at its flagship New York Times newspaper.

The company said about two-thirds of the job losses will occur at The New York Times, with less than 25 of the cuts coming from the newsroom, where it said a voluntary reduction program will be in place.

TRANSLATION: The LITTLE GUYS are paying for the BIG GUYS screwing up, as always.

Posted 11:18 AM by Gene

So CEOs are getting fired more frequently. So what? I'd bet they make more per malfeasant year than before.

Posted 9:28 AM by Gene

The company with the cute daisy logo that sells cute non-polluting GASOLINE joins the AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS' campaign to pull its ads ONLY when confronted with BAD NEWS!

It spends $40 million on CRAPPY TV and half that on PRINT, so we KNOW ITS priorities.

Posted 9:11 AM by Gene

THE DIREC-TOR OF MONTY PYTHON'S BLAZING SADDLES SPEAKS:

"I miss failure."

Hey MORON, you haven't exactly created JULIUS CAESAR. We needn't remind you you started as a COMEDIAN, and went on to direct plays and films that were "successes" with people who think A LOT LIKE YOU. You may miss failure, DIMWIT, but our culture misses SUCCESS thanks to your SUCCESS.

Posted 8:23 AM by Gene

Good Lord:

Britain is suffering a sense of humour failure, with laughter levels three times lower now than 50 years ago and nearly half of all adults unable to enjoy at least one big guffaw a day, research showed.

Imagine -- someone almost as humorless as NEWS HACKS!

This twaddle is from the notorious Agence France Presse, which never misses a chance to show the British up. Whatever happened to ONE EUROPE?

Posted 1:33 PM by Gene

It's official: THE PAPER OF RE-CORD is campaigning for Richard Rodgers' grandson's musical -- not because it's good; in the old days it would probably have run three weeks in a big Broadway house -- but because the likely Tony winner is MONTY PYTHON'S BLAZING SADDLES, and we can't have that, no. That PINCH is going to such lengths to try to avoid an EMBARRASSMENT for the THEATAH by touting a well-meaning show shows the Main Stem's in a pretty fair bind too.

And here's betting SADDLES outruns the best laid plans anyway.

Posted 1:27 PM by Gene

I've noticed lately when someone in show-biz dies he's identified not by name but by his property, as nobody knows the name. Somebody with the enticingly mellifluous moniker of Thurl Ravenscroft, the voice of Tony the Tiger and a long-time Disney man, would not have merited the time of the day when he (so we're told) backed up for Der Bingle, but it has come to an unpleasant cross that this revered voiceover man is likely to be remembered more than most first-string actors of our time. How revoltin'.

Posted 1:21 PM by Gene

SHUCKS, the holy cockroaches admit Osama's man in Iraq has been wounded.

Play for him -- to go to hell.

Posted 11:23 AM by Gene

Unnamed sources are a necessity when covering Bush admin

SEE? I TOLD ya it was THEIR fault!

Posted 6:52 AM by Gene

MIKE ISIKOFF FALLS ON HIS SWORD!

Sort of.

Posted 6:44 AM by Gene

Who says there's no such thing as con-SER-va-tive bias?

7 Republicans abandon GOP on filibuster

Seven Senate Republicans bolted from their leaders last night and dropped their support for the "nuclear option" in exchange for seven Democrats' abandoning filibusters against three of President Bush's judicial nominees.

"This is really good news for every American tonight," Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid, Nevada Democrat, said moments after the deal was announced last night on live television. "This is a significant victory."

That sounds like BOOOOOOOOOO!!! HISSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! if ever I heard it. Lest we forget, before it became KNEE-JERK LIBERAL, the press was KNEE-JERK CONSERVATIVE.

Posted 6:32 AM by Gene

Attorney General Who? may be next up for the Nine Fingers.

I can see it now, ten years hence: THE PAPER OF RE-CORD acclaiming Justice Who? as having "grown in the office" -- even as the TWENTY-FIFTH PUBLIC EDI-TOR moans, "Yes, yes, we've admitted it before, we'll admit it again -- our paper is LIBERAL."

Posted 6:24 AM by Gene

A reporter asks: Would I like to teach?

On a news hack's salary we'd say, HELL NO!

Posted 6:21 AM by Gene

We're shocked. SHOCKED! that LUKE SPIELBERG should be ALL about -- MARKETING.

The Dove Foundation (whatever that is) is another well-meaning group that would minister to our dying culture with Band-Aids.

Posted 8:25 PM by Gene

Oooooooooh, we've averted a crisis!

That means senators won't have to speak even MORE than usual.

Posted 7:13 PM by Gene

Lately every time I've so much as walked into a chain store I've had to endure the unmitigated IDIOCY of Paul McCartney and WINGS. Everything about their noise is kee-yute and cloying and drug-addled and STUPID -- which makes it PERFECT for CREATING STRESS AND ANGER among CUSTOMERS. No this has nothing to do with musical snobbery; while I've been in increasing awe of Mozart's genius these last few days I'm going to spend the weekend rocking to Bill Haley and Johnny Cash. But I already resent it that when we go shopping we must be subjected to CHEAP CHANNEL, even though the company's evidently not in foreground muzak (as one would think it should be, given its desire to annoy the living devil out of people with ADS, regardless of what its guinea-pig listeners may think); and it must always be the same shrivelled selection of Music for Alfred E. Neuman to Drool By, played against our will. The next time I hear SUMWUNKNOKNATDOOH I'm going to knock on the store manager's thick skull and demand to know WHO inflicts this garbage on us, and send a letter to that company's CEO -- and the CHAIN STORE'S.

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

Now that G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE's headed to the S&P 500 it could soon have a market cap bigger than GE BANCORP and BUGMEISTER BILL'S BUGDOM -- COMBINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GO FOR IT! Anything for another crash in high-tech.

Posted 5:02 PM by Gene

Comforting: Employees of Bank of the Univer -- AMERICA and Watchoverya, er, Walkoverya, er, WACHOVIA stole customer information and sold it to collection agencies.

Imagine the fun we'd have with ONE NATIONAL BANK? We're GETTING there!

In a separate case with the potential for identity theft, a laptop containing the names and Social Security numbers of 16,500 current and former MCI employees was stolen last month from the car of an MCI financial analyst in Colorado, said company spokeswoman Linda Laughlin.

The car was parked in the analyst's home garage and the computer was password-protected, she said.

That's comforting TOO!

Posted 4:59 PM by Gene

Friedman Agonistes: Will the New York Times columnist read himself?

That's all they EVER read.

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

Does more Web surfing mean more discontentment?

Posted 2:45 PM by Gene

It's a taint on our profession, and it's another case in which the news is becoming the news.

Isn't that getting to be the point?

Posted 11:17 AM by Gene

TRICK QUESTION:

The state's test writers tried to come up with a math question about football and ended up with a fumble.

On an end-of-grade test this month, seventh-graders had to calculate the average gain for a team on the game's first six plays. But the team did not gain 10 yards on the first four plays and would have lost possession before a fifth and sixth play.

The team opened with a 6-yard loss, a 3-yard gain and a 2-yard loss, which would have made it fourth down with 15 yards to go for a first down. The team's fourth play was just a 7-yard gain, yet it maintained possession for a 12-yard gain and a 4-yard gain on two additional plays.

"Whoever wrote it didn't think it through," said Gene Daniels, athletics director of Salem Middle School in Apex.

Mildred Bazemore, chief of the state Department of Public Instruction's test development section, said the question makes sense mathematically and was reviewed thoroughly.

"It has nothing to do with football," Bazemore said. "It has to do with the mathematical concepts that you're studying."

Whoever got it "right" has a future in CONGRESS -- or with PAUL DRECK.

Posted 8:53 AM by Gene

No 'Fahrenheit 9/11,' film depicts war in Iraq as liberation

THIS IS A CIA JOB!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Mike Isikoff! Look into THIS!! Pffh-hh-hh!

Posted 8:43 AM by Gene

CENSORHSIP! Two TWXSTER RAGS censor an ad for a TWXSTER CHANNEL!

Doesn't this violate TWXSTERS' FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS?????

Posted 6:10 PM by Gene

If BLUNDER is to be believed on ANYTHING about ISLAM:

Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf fears a horrific Islamist backlash if he publicly arrests the man seen in parts of South and Central Asia and the Middle East as an Islamic Robin Hood.

TRANSLATION: P-P-P-P-P-P-P-Pakistani P-P-P-P-P-P-P-President P-P-P-P-P-P-P-Pervez...never mind.

And it is comforting to hear the man we used to call RUMMY talk like this:

"When you're hunting for someone and you haven't found them, you haven't found them."

That might count as a vintage Rummyism if it weren't BENEATH CONTEMPT.

Posted 6:04 PM by Gene

Before I forget: today there was some ceremony or entertainment or something at the Academy, and as I waded through an all-black crowd on the way to my local Rong-Aid a young white man walked the other way -- with green hair. I believe Dr. King might have been moved to say, we should not judge people by the color of their skin; we should judge them by the color of their HAIR.

Posted 5:55 PM by Gene

These last several days I've immersed my self in period-instrument recordings of Mozart's symphonies. Does anyone realize he wrote his first at age eight? That sort of thing is unthinkable now, which is why our culture's so great. The next time some ad-blurb copywriter describes a [C]RAPPER as a GENIUS I'd like to scream this fact into his one ear and out his other, which it where it always goes.

A note about pricing and the RECORDED-MUSIC MAFIA: I got a Canadian pressing of this eleven-disc set from an Amazon.com merchant for about $29.00, including shipping. The standard version has different cover art and sells for at least thirty dollars more. How can people takes these clowns seriously -- and why should ANYONE pay fifteen bucks for a music CD?

Posted 4:29 PM by Gene

Another scribbler sells "properties" to Hollywood and becomes a "genius."

So long as we ooh and aah lucky people our "properties" won't get better.

Posted 4:27 PM by Gene

More sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh:

Scientists Say Sunshine May Prevent Cancer

Posted 1:07 PM by Gene

And now SAMMY GLICKMAN has an EXCUSE: the CHINESE are selling PIRATED COPIES of ST. LUKE'S HOLY VISION!

Hey GLICK, you served in SLICK's cabinet; don't you know the Chinese aren't to be -- NOT TRUSTED?

Posted 12:31 PM by Gene

VERY BAD NEWS for SHOW-BIZ FLACKS: Despite ol' LUKE SPIELBERG and His MAGIC ELIXIR OF MOVIEMAKING, it looks as if YOUR biz will have ANOTHER DOWN WEEKEND! THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!!!!! Okay, you had two "hits" at the top of last year's chart -- one of which was a glorified bomb -- but even so, LUKE SHUT EVERYONE ELSE OUT OF THE MULTIPLEXES -- or just as likely, the rest of line-up was SO BAD PEOPLE DIDN'T WANT TO SEE THEM. "What's good for TIME WARNER" doesn't sound so good NOW, does it?

Any bets on the REST of the year?

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

It appears the Osama Channel's thugs were ready for Mrs. Bush -- at least we must presume so, as whomever it was seems to have heckled her IN ENGLISH.

Okay hecklers -- when are YOU going to stop supporting evildoers like Osama? Oh, they're not evil. They're doing "god's" work. Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Posted 8:13 AM by Gene

Meantime the TWXSTERS get a good chuckle. SHUT UP, TWXSTERS. Hank Luce did things JUST AS BAD in his OWN way.

...Newsweek's "Periscope" section, which features newsy tidbits, is scrutinized less closely than the rest of the magazine.

Which means if the rest of the RAG isn't edited at all....

Posted 8:04 AM by Gene

Well! It's been several weeks since we stuffed an anonymous Koran down an unknown toilet, and a few lives with it, so after splashing on some eau de toilet what does the "CHAIRMAN" of BLUNDER rag propose to do? He will be more CAREFUL using ANONYMOUS SOURCES! Well aren't WE relieved! So we'll cut down on our anonymous sources -- until the next hot story (or chance to trash a CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN), when the COMPETITIVE PRESSURES will be too GREAT to bear, and we can soothe ourselves knowing we've TRUSTED and VERIFIED a source nobody else can, which means BLUNDER rag will continue its heritage of running hard-hitting TRUTHS (hard-hitting if you're a CONSERVATIVE REPUBLICAN) and marshmallow-creamy SHOW-BIZ PLUGS -- like the one no doubt coming up for the cartoon maker LUKE SPIELBERG (got THAT one)!

Onward and upward, DICK!

Thank God, I mean, ST. WARREN for disposable circulation clerks -- and that nobody reads the magazine!

Posted 9:20 PM by Gene

Before there was American Idol, there was EUROVISION.

Posted 9:12 PM by Gene

And as the PAPER OF RE-CORD's first PUBLIC EDI-TOR rides off into the west, or wherever the sun sets, he issues a list of thirteen points he should have tackled in his short, productive stay, among them:

2. Op-Ed columnist Paul Krugman has the disturbing habit of shaping, slicing and selectively citing numbers in a fashion that pleases his acolytes but leaves him open to substantive assaults. Maureen Dowd was still writing that Alberto R. Gonzales "called the Geneva Conventions 'quaint'" nearly two months after a correction in the news pages noted that Gonzales had specifically applied the term to Geneva provisions about commissary privileges, athletic uniforms and scientific instruments. Before his retirement in January, William Safire vexed me with his chronic assertion of clear links between Al Qaeda and Saddam Hussein, based on evidence only he seemed to possess.

No one deserves the personal vituperation that regularly comes Dowd's way, and some of Krugman's enemies are every bit as ideological (and consequently unfair) as he is. But that doesn't mean that their boss, publisher Arthur O. Sulzberger Jr., shouldn't hold his columnists to higher standards.

I didn't give Krugman, Dowd or Safire the chance to respond before writing the last two paragraphs. I decided to impersonate an opinion columnist.

Goodbye, premier PUBLIC EDI-TOR, and may your successor bang his head against walls and MILLIONAIRE HACKS just as well as you.

Posted 2:49 PM by Gene

REINFORCED-CONCRETE-SKULL AWARD OF THE WEEK:

WATT VS. THE "RELIGIOUS LEFT" [Jonathan H. Adler]
James Watt takes after the "Lies of the Religious Left," Powerline reports.
Posted at 02:29 PM

WOW! THE BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM are starting to have IMPACT!!! They're REPORTING THINGS!!!!! No MATTER Mr. Watt's op-ed appears HERE -- or have we grown so knee-jerk intolerant of MMMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMMM we avoid them even when they offer views we agree with?

As for Mr. Watt, we honestly can't judge his piece. On the one hand, we've no doubt of the left's religious bigotry; on the other hand, we know he was a foot-stomping ideologue of his own considerable distinction. That he or his hed writer uses the word "lies" means the other side can shoot "lies" right back, so it's Rashomon time all over again.

Posted 2:38 PM by Gene

Possibly bad news (if Lee's Movie Info is to be believed): thus far for the weekend the B. O. is up only 8.6% from last year, perhaps less if the numbers weren't faked -- certainly it's up much less in attendance, no doubt -- and few people are going to see ANYTHING ELSE. NEWS HACKS will call this a triumph because of "What's Good for Time Warner" syndrome, but when the collapse comes next week it will be hard for even the SHOW-BIZ FLACKS to paint their typical smiley face on the situation.

Posted 12:36 PM by Gene

HMMM:

PepsiCo finally was forced to release her speech [Link added. --ED] after much hemming and hawing. In it, Nooyi is funny (if a little forced) and quite measured in her analogy. All the fingers have to work in harmony, she points out. Africa may be small from an economic standpoint but "when our little finger hurts, it affects the whole hand."

Asia, the thumb, is "strong, powerful, and ready to assert herself as a major player on the world's economic stage." Europe, the index finger, is the cradle of democracy and pointed the way for Western civilization and laws. Latin America, the ring finger, is "hot, passionate and filled with the sensuous beats of the mambo, samba, and tango." She even apologizes to Antarctica and Australia for leaving them out.

That leaves North America, or more specifically, the U.S. Sure, being dubbed the middle finger instantly evokes a certain attitude. But Nooyi almost bends over backwards in her political correctness, noting that "the middle finger anchors every function that the hand performs and is the key to all of the fingers working together efficiently and effectively." Her message: "It's not enough just to understand that the other fingers co-exist. We've got to consciously and actively ensure that every one of them stands tall together, or that they bend together when needed."

Such prose essentially borders on pablum in this country of raging opinions. Yet, because of the noise in cyberspace, Nooyi felt compelled to issue a statement saying, "I have come to realize that my words and examples about America unintentionally depicted our country negatively and hurt people." Furthermore, she claimed to appreciate the "honest comments" that had been shared with her before reiterating once again her love of America.

Better to err on the side of caution, perhaps, especially in a company that hawks soft drinks and potato chips to young people. But it's a shame that one executive's carefully worded opinion at a college speech should prompt such a backlash, then a mea culpa. In today's world of blogs and instant communications, though, even mild criticism can become fodder for a cyber-conflagration.

Meantime, BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM, back for more SCALPS.

Posted 12:33 PM by Gene

We suspect show-biz' new masterworks on Iraq will be every bit as unrealistic and politically blinkered as Gomer Pyle, USMC or M*A*S*H, but they'll be gory enough to please ad-blurb copywriters -- and ADVERTISERS.

P. S. Did anyone ever notice all those soldiers in Korea had BIG HAIR?

Posted 12:17 PM by Gene

Surprising any news hack found time over these HISTORIC RECORD-BREAKING DAYS to report on an opposition rally in Cuba, complete with a prerecorded address by the President, but who's he?

"Viva Bush" or "Long Live Bush," some delegates shouted in contrast with cries heard earlier in the meeting of "Abajo Fidel" or "Down with Fidel."

You MAD, liberals?

Posted 10:34 AM by Gene

Dean still says DeLay may deserve jail

We say DEAN may deserve the MENTAL WARD! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHH!!!!!

Two can play THAT game, Gov. Footinmouth.

"I got in trouble because I wouldn't convict Osama bin Laden. Maybe I've learned something."

Yeah, imbecile. You learned Osama doesn't deserve conviction while SNIDELY WHIPLASH does. Where did you go to school? MOVEON Academy?

Posted 10:10 AM by Gene

Which reminds us of something Mick linked to:

Andrew can be excitable. A while back he apologized to me for some of his criticisms during the election, and more recently he has apologized to his readers for his waffling and defeatism on the war last spring. Perhaps he'll apologize for this at some point in the future. But, I confess, I find the question of what Andrew thinks less pressing than I used to.

And when does the question become less pressing for the rest of BIGBLOGGERDOM?

Posted 10:08 AM by Gene

Walter Annenberg...RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...Steve "Mafioso" Ross...Gerry "The Poet" Levin...SI...THE LORD GOD PINCH....

THAT'S QUITE A LITTLE-GUY RESUME YOU HAVE THERE, STERNO!

Who's next?

Posted 8:51 AM by Gene

Years after the housing bubble begins, the WIZARD OF OZ chimes in with "signs" of "froth."

Aren't you happy He runs the economy?

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

An early precursor of the SUPERMANNING OF AMERICA was the modern bar mitzvah, which is our nation in a nutshell: a humble, pious ceremony turned into a politically correct display of vulgar showmanship and conspicuous consumption. When pondering such idiocies we must wonder if there's no turning back, if there's a civilization for us to defend against rogue states and terrorists. If we can't turn back, what is our future?

Posted 8:28 AM by Gene

It's illegal -- but still, I smile:

The dark side of the DVD counterfeiting industry felt the force of the NYPD yesterday when cops seized 1,000 pirated copies of "Star Wars: Episode III" - just 36 hours after its debut.

LUKE SPIELBERG IS NOT INVINCIBLE!

Posted 8:23 AM by Gene

System Changes Hog Waste Into Clean Water

You mean there's HOPE for the news biz?

Posted 8:15 AM by Gene

MORE SADDAM PHOTOS PRINTED!!
REVEALING SHOTS SPARK INTERNATIONAL OUTCRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Whiny Crybaby Richard said L'AFFAIRE DE TOILETTE was not evidence of anti-war bias. Well heds like this are evidence of something. NEWS HACKS may defend themselves by saying they're showing up our bad side so we can improve our good side, blahblahblah, but all we ever see from the HACKS is our bad side; indeed the only time they smile is when they puff their OWN BIZ, as with BOX-OFFICE "RECORDS." Shut up HACKS, we know you can't stand OUR GUTS, even as you work mightily with accountants to evade OUR TAXES.

P. S. That INTERNATIONAL OUTCRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is to USAOKAY!!!!! what scandal is to the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER -- it will be gone the next day.

Posted 5:51 PM by Gene

BOX SCORE: Indra 17 (subtracting some cheating by the BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM), Linda 11.

These will vanish by Monday, Professor, and then you and your cohorts will have other "SCANDALS" to PUFF.

Posted 5:28 PM by Gene

I'm waiting for the con-SER-va-tives to do for the BUGMEISTER what they've done for the Waltons. Just because they're oily Europeans and shafted our airplane-building biz with their subsidies doesn't make HIS MONOPOLY ANY BETTER.

Posted 5:17 PM by Gene

And how do we know Ken Felatta stinks? Ken Felatta II calls him GREAT!

Posted 5:00 PM by Gene

OR:

Shares of News Corp. (NWS.A: news, chart, profile) (NWS: news, chart, profile) traded down 13 cents to $15.87 on Friday afternoon.

FURTHER OR:

[RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! factotum Bruce] Snyder could not give a firm screen count but said it could be significantly higher because of interlocking, the practice of taking one print and showing it on multiple screens within a theater. The lack of any other film playing midnight shows on Thursday essentially made nearly every auditorium in the multiplex available, and exhibitors added screens as demand warranted.

TRANSLATION: NOTHING ELSE PLAYED AT THE MOVIES! This bodes well for everyone who isn't LUKE SPIELBERG.

Several other notes: No. 1: RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gets only a $50 MILLION DISTRIBUTION FEE (talk about DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH). No. 2: It's playing at 9,000 screens of ill-repute. Who wants to bet on a BIG FIVE-O? No. 3: NEWS HACKS SPECIALIZE IN INNUMERACY.

WILL SOMEBODY SEAL PAUL DRECK'S MOUTH WITH SUPERGLUE?????

Posted 4:55 PM by Gene

Time Warner Questioned Over Stock Price

And "angry questions" will happen when a stock was once "worth" $90 a share, and hasn't budged beyond $20 for years, and likely never will again -- unless it reverse-splits.

Don't these people realize the TWXSTERS aren't in a growth business -- unless you count faking circulation numbers, lying about the box office and raising cable rates by double-digits?

Posted 4:50 PM by Gene

Analysts: Industry Has Too Many Carriers

The airline industry, that is. We should pause upon reading that. Consider the railroad industry: it once had dozens of competing lines (that were equally bankrupt) and a fine record for first-class passenger service. Today there are four national railroads and the joke called Amtrak. Consider the idea of a national airline. It is beyond consideration.

Posted 1:46 PM by Gene

PFFH-HH-HH!!!!!:

Lawyers for Saddam Hussein tell The Times [a RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rag] that they have started legal action against The Sun [another RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! rag] and US military over jail pictures of former dictator

HARDY-HAR-HAR!!!!!

Posted 1:03 PM by Gene

I shall have to invent a new term: POWERLINING -- an out-of-proportion tantrum over somebody saying something stupid.

Sen. DENNIS DAY got himself POWERLINED.

Posted 8:55 AM by Gene

There's one reason Maytag's going for a fire-sale price: Hoover. A company with a rep for quality bought the GM of vacuum cleaners, then the unit staged a disastrous sweepstakes in England from which it never recovered. Plus how many people really want to buy another white box that makes noise? One hopes the company won't go the way of Studebaker or AMC, but there do seem similarities.

Posted 8:36 AM by Gene

Meantime the head of the Newspaper Guild said something stupid, and that's gotten only EIGHT Google News links, so maybe saying something stupid isn't what it used to be.

And please don't give me that blatherskite about the blogosphere; most often it isn't news THERE either.

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

G.M.'s Brands to Cut Back on Variety

A better hed: G. M.'s Brands to Cut Back on Monotony.

Only we know THAT'S wrong.

Posted 8:22 AM by Gene

Deal would allow vote on 5 Bush judicial picks

And already the con-SER-va-tives are complaining.

Posted 8:19 AM by Gene

One other reason I'm not singing and laughing today: that jackass "Little-Guy" Hugh took up the mighty MILLENNIAL CAUSE, and I was thinking of sending him and his damfool compatriots a congratulatory e-mail, but the only people who'll see it are clerks, and I probably would hear zero in return, but I might send them my heartfelt thanks anyway, just to delude myself I'm doing something.

FOURTEEN LINKS ON GOOGLE NEWS, meaning maybe we're not THAT powerful.

Posted 8:17 AM by Gene

PEPSICO KILLS PEPSI EDGE

I link to this only because I can see those partisan frauds the BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM taking credit for it. That's another failure of blogging: everyone has to take CREDIT, and often there's nothing to take credit FOR.

Posted 8:07 AM by Gene

Last night while urging a DVD burner into my money hog (I don't know why I bought it) I came across part of an old Glenn Miller CD box set that was lying around, and I thought, this was recorded with the most primitive technology -- a stylus on an acetate disc or wax cake on a pulley-driven lathe, and decades from now people will listen. Today I commit more of my hundreds of thousands of useless words to this useless blog, knowing no one reads them now, forget about even two weeks hence; and I'm mad because I can't get a word through the ether in edgewise, and so many rascals like the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS seem to do it with ease, and add further nothing to the great unprecedented abundance of nothing that is our age, an age that equates popularity with immortality and attitude with excellence. And we don't have the advantage of musical talent, or a stylus on an acetate disc; we're just automatons with nothing better to offer than unfunny witticisms or truthless aphorisms, saying things that don't become any wiser on their millionth iteration, typing out zillions of zeroes and ones that will be upgraded or obsoleted into oblivion. I am truly tired of blogging.

Posted 12:31 PM by Gene

TRUTH OF THE DAY:

The judge in Michael Jackson's child molestation trial ruled Thursday against allowing CNN host Larry King to testify for the defense, saying the testimony would be irrelevant.

You said it, judge.

Posted 9:01 AM by Gene

BUGMEISTER BILL EMCEES A SECRET SUMMIT!

And knowing the bobbleheaded CEOs attending when Bill asks them to PAY, they meekly say, HOW HIGH?

Posted 8:50 AM by Gene

Whoopee! WallStreetJournals.com has appointed an "editor" to supervise its meager giveaways!

Why did you buy MARKETWATCH?

Posted 8:38 AM by Gene

And speaking of PC, how are the BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM DOING? A Google News search indicates the GREAT PEPSICO BLASPHEMY has received all of EIGHT STORIES -- one from the New York Sun (pffh-hh-hh) and five from GUESS WHO.

Heck, even your fellow SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS seem not to care. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE IGNORED?

Posted 8:34 AM by Gene

The fight to subjugate our brains continues: in a new version of QUAGMIRE!!!!!!!!!! some European ninnies insist DID SO DESECRATE THE KORAN! Now everyone can get on a high PC horse and debate how much desecration of a Koran can fit on the head of a pin. WHY SHOULD WE FOLLOW THE NEWS?

Posted 8:29 AM by Gene

What do CLOWNS like these two high-mucky-muck media-waster -- BUYERS have in common? These last several days they've been gushing, "Geez! We spend lots of money on the networks so they can spend lots of money on us so we can spend lots more money on the networks! Ya gotta love these guys!"

Posted 8:24 AM by Gene

I wish I knew what G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE has against me. I know what I have against G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE: its blogging slowness and its greed. On top of that the KADIDDLEHOPPERS of MOUNTAIN VIEW list me on their search engine with great difficulty, and they've decided not even to make me available on "Next Blog" these last three days, except once. What is the purpose of blogging without an audience?

Posted 6:55 AM by Gene

Why does a man with a name like Don Ienner, who works for the RECORDED-MUSIC MAFIA, sound like a RIPE candidate for JAIL?

Posted 6:23 AM by Gene

Cle-VER:

Report blasts Bolton Says he wanted Tenet to punish analyst.

Cle-VER, SOBs! That freestanding use of the word "report" makes it seem -- impartial. But you don't say WHOSE report! You have to click on the link to find it was an IMPARTIAL FORCE OF DEMOCRATS. But see, this has NOTHING to do with why your circ is down, or why people can't stand your GUTS.

BIAS? WHAT BIAS?

By the way -- HOW'S YOUR @#$%&* PROMO DOING? What news hacks don't SPIN, they SELL.

Posted 6:21 AM by Gene

NBA, Players Reach Impasse

Goody!

Prima donnas -- STRIKE!

Posted 6:33 PM by Gene

BOOM boom BOOM boom:

Cybergossip Matt Drudge, whose drudgereport.com is perhaps the biggest single driver of Internet traffic to news sites, has dropped Post columnists Keith Kelly, Steve Dunleavy, Diane Dimond and Andrea Peyser because they're inaccessible to readers without special passwords. "My first concern," Drudge told me yesterday, "is that readers have direct access to information."

WALTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHEN WILL YOU DROP YOUR SPYWARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

"...the biggest single driver of Internet traffic to news sites...." We've seen that line before. Does someone have a DIRECT LINK to WALTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!? Or just a SHORTCUT on the KEYBOARD?

Posted 5:40 PM by Gene

"Testicular virility."

I guess that beats low public-opinion polls.

Posted 5:03 PM by Gene

Frank Gorshin dies, and we all grow a little older.

Posted 5:00 PM by Gene

Now I can see why Morgan Stanley wants to pull its ads at a moment's notice:

Morgan Stanley ordered to pay Perelman $850 million

Posted 1:25 PM by Gene

IRONY: Even as a magazine writer says MORE SHOW-BIZ IS GOOD FOR KIDS, another comes out and says media overuse can stunt your maturity.

I'd say the evidence favors him. Look at the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIABLOGGERS.

Posted 1:09 PM by Gene

THE PAPER OF RE-CORD is willing to share its spoils with "BLOGS" -- meaning the SUPES, which officially means THEY'RE BIGMEDIA TOO.

This presages a problem -- does the PAPER share with just left-wing blogs? Does it try to kiss up to the right with their token conservatives? PINCH has gotten Himself in a mighty kettle of newsprint.

Posted 1:02 PM by Gene

Having just bought some software from an eBay merchant I am nonetheless seized with an ardent desire when I get home to throw my computer out the window. Are the PC and its bride the Web good for anything but conspicuous consumption and the willies? And the PC is a machine that assures you'll spend on its welfare, and the welfare of its friends. I'd guess I'll spend $400 counting the software to upgrade my Dell, and even then I expect to buy a new computer when Bill's latest experiment in bug-breeding, aka Longhorn, emerges from its cocoon. Then there are the CDs, the books, the DVDs, the clothes, the countless things you can buy online. Those who say computing isn't an addiction have never done it.

Posted 11:56 AM by Gene

Another thing BRIAN ROBBERBARON can JABBER about when he boasts of FREEDOM OF CHOICE:

Cable and satellite TV score lowest in customer satisfaction index

Posted 11:53 AM by Gene

Another thing about the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS: they've become to our time the perfect analog to hacks in sensationalizing the trivial. Remember when the clinically inept Gerald "Pardon" Ford let slip that Poland was a free country? The HACKS played that up for months and bequeathed us Jimmah. SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS forever do the same thing, and while the stakes may be smaller the ACID INDIGESTION AND HEARTBURN ARE JUST AS BAD.

Posted 11:41 AM by Gene

On days like these I wonder why I go on blogging. DEMAGOGUES like the MILLENNIUM boys RAGE at the ANTI-AMERICANISM OF PEPSICO!!!!!!!!!! while running an AD THAT INFRINGES ON THE COMPANY'S TRADEMARKS, and GET MEGAZILLIONS OF HITS -- and I couldn't get a DAMNED HIT if the LORD GOD PUT THE WORDS IN MY FINGERS. Being known is solely a matter of LUCK and SELF-PROMOTION. I don't want to write a blog solely for the purpose of having to SELL MYSELF to GET HITS. And to those who are always belching this DEMOCRACY THING: the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS are almost to a MAN afflicted with HUBRIS, a hubris that, though small in scale next to BIGMEDIA, could be GIGANTIC to IMPATIENT SURFERS IN THEIR AUDIENCE. Just remember, SUPES -- GOD MADE YOU HUMAN TOO.

Posted 11:27 AM by Gene

Another EXASPERATING TIFF: the BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM learned that the president of PepsiCo ("Driving them up the wall/ Iron Woman rules them all") said a BAD THING ABOUT AMERICA, but no one can be sure and the idiots in Purchase won't release her remarks, thus allowing the GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD to POP-UP ON AND ON AND ON. We will be charitable and assume this leader among the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS did not realize her symbolism; but that is extremely doutful with the poesy written in her honor. I wonder if SHE had anything to do with sponsoring HEZBOLLAH TV? THAT'S the question to ask.

P. S. HEY PREENING TABLEPOUNDERS! EXPLAIN THIS BLOGAD ON YOUR SITE:

Posted 11:08 AM by Gene

Hey STERNO! Remember when YOUR GOD! took credit for creating SIXTY MINUTES THE SECOND? The show that regaled America with stories of MEMOS?

Guess what VIACON NETWORK JUST CANCELED!

Posted 10:24 AM by Gene

Report: Air Force seeks Bush nod for space weapons

Okay buddies, when do you start with your STAR WARS routine again?

Amazing what those words mean to news hacks: THE GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT IN HUMAN HISTORY -- and DEPTHLESS EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVILLLLLLLLLL.

Posted 10:19 AM by Gene

FBI: Grenade at Bush Rally Was Live

Yep, I think some people don't like us.

Posted 8:37 AM by Gene

Hmmm, what terrible things can I think about America? Hmmm....

I'll make a MOVIE about them!

P. S. The putative humorist GARRISON is co-starring, so they'll have PLENTY of time to think.

Posted 8:19 AM by Gene

The AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS revises its CODE of "ETHICS":

In the latest sign of advertisers’ heightened sensitivity to editorial coverage, embattled financial giant Morgan Stanley informed key publications of new guidelines that require its ads to be pulled with negative stories about it are published.

So now there are three times advertisers will pull ads: when the subject's not PC, after an airplane crash, or when SOMEONE TELLS THE TRUTH.

Posted 6:50 AM by Gene

How long has "Christian" stood for a fifth-rate knock-off of the third-rate secular, an imitation of a self-parody a truly Godly person would have no business doing? Thus we have "Christian" music (think Jesus metal) and "Christian" novels (think Jesus Grisham). Now it's "Christian" video games. Why isn't it possible to preach God's word without the world's discordant bells and shrill whistles?

Posted 6:48 AM by Gene

Today's going to be ANOTHER bad day for WHINY CRYBABY COHEN!

Why is every time someone gets EXECUTED a bad day for HYPERLIBERALS?

Posted 6:40 AM by Gene

EHDYUKAYTORS put their foot down on Iraq.

Hey EHDs, why don't you learn how to TEACH first -- THEN lobby?

Posted 6:22 AM by Gene

How news hacks can paint anything:

Villaraigosa wins in L.A. Monumental mayor victory for Latinos.

TRANSLATION: He's our kind of mayor and we'll have him under OUR thumb. I know nothing of the man but suspect he's SUPER-liberal (the screwy Angelinos wouldn't choose otherwise), still heds like these leave no doubt who really runs the world.

Posted 6:21 AM by Gene

WHERE ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE YOU, G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER "NEXT BLOG"?????

Posted 6:38 PM by Gene

John Podhoretz blasts YOU-KNOW-WHAT in The Weekly Standard, and well-taken though it may be we somehow can't forget he's using ITS DISTRIBUTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'s largesse to do it.

Posted 5:09 PM by Gene

WOW, THAT WAS FAST: Team America: World Police is out on DVD.

Slow as usual.

Posted 5:06 PM by Gene

TOOL:

Newsweek at first apologized for its story and then retracted it under heavy pressure from the administration.

In other words, the story was valid. Hey TERRY! Why don't YOU go looking in toilets?

Posted 4:57 PM by Gene

More good news for STERNO, and the guy who wrote that book saying why our kids need MORE show-biz -- and maybe THE GLIBERAL, as he and his fellow PAPER OF RE-CORDITES prepare to wall themselves off:

One out of every 110 preschoolers is expelled annually from New York classrooms - a rate nearly 18 times higher than the number of older kids booted in grades kindergarten through 12, a study released today found.

Posted 4:54 PM by Gene

In my ears, "insurgent" is a bit like "rebel" or even "revolutionary." There's nothing axiomatically pejorative about it, and some passages of history have made it a term of honor. At a minimum, though, it must mean "rising up." These fascists and hirelings are not rising up, they are stamping back down. It's time for respectable outlets to drop the word, to call things by their right names (Baathist or Bin Ladenist or jihadist would all do in this case), and to stop inventing mysteries where none exist.

This -- in ST. WARREN'S REALM? Someone must be EXCOMMUNICATED for it.

Posted 4:52 PM by Gene

If Al Jazeera published the most inflammatory story it could find -- or make up -- about the pope or the Virgin Mary, would we blame the satellite station if Rome rioted, or the Romans?

Yes, because it's THE OSAMA CHANNEL. And yes too because it's BLUNDER rag.

Posted 1:14 PM by Gene

When the WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION says NEWS HACKS should show the MILITARY MORE RESPECT, we can GUESS what the WALL STREET JOURNALS LIBERAL EDITION is UP TO.

Posted 8:26 AM by Gene

I know someone with very itchy typing fingers today: THE BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM! If THE PAPER OF RE-CORD can charge for its gas, why not us? And WE BROUGHT DOWN DAN RATHER! Plus WE CAN CONTINUE TO RUN POP-UPS!!!!!

We're all for it guys -- if it'll get YOU our of our hair TOO.

How's the anti-IE and Firefox crusade going, guys? WALTER "SPYWARE" WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!! lending you his valuable venali -- EXPERTISE?

Posted 8:14 AM by Gene

Today another young stupid boarded the train to listen to his [C]RAP through his earphones and loud enough to annoy me, and I thought, in most schools the kids are probably totally plugged in during classes, [C]RAP on their stereos, [C]RAP on their cell phones, constantly dialing and redialing one another, playing video games, and the teachers and principals don't care because if they did NEWS HACKS might write a J'ACCUSE. This is societally (and BIGMEDIA BIZ) sanctioned WASTING AWAY OF MINDS.

And then I thought to myself, why couldn't some good teacher -- they must exist, don't they? -- maybe hand out some homemade CDs with a few Satchmo tunes? Surely the kids wouldn't like them (somebody like Lady Day would be IMPOSSIBLE), but then maybe one or two would, and maybe one or two more who don't might see that spark strike later in life, much as opera recordings struck a spark with Satch. (I could abide by such piracy because most of Louis is public-domain now.) Have the GREEDMEISTERS in the MUSICAL ORGANIZED-CRIME TRADE ever thought of cut-rate licenses for educational burning? Or is music education yet another cause for unmusical lip service?

Posted 6:38 AM by Gene

The former sex symbol and DEEP political thinker Warren Beatty is suing to make another Dick Tracy movie.

What? Of his retirement?

Posted 6:27 AM by Gene

BUT....

What IS with this mass-murderer? How did he get to be a cause celebre among LIBERALS?

ST. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! REVENUE STREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAM!!!!!

Posted 6:23 AM by Gene

Why I hardly bother with op-ed columnists anymore:

Centrist Courage on Abortion

TRANSLATION: Another liberal for abortion, only he's a "Catholic" (or rather, a Unitarian with rosary beads), and he dispenses sugar-flavored castor-oil.

ST. WARREN! Why don't YOU create a revenue stream?

Posted 5:26 PM by Gene

The Saturday Evening Post, Life -- the former once among the most distinguished of magazines, the latter perhaps the most exciting. Today they're a quack-nostrum catalog and a sputtering newspaper insert, wan descendants of their glories. We wonder how much today's newsrags will be missed. The TWXSTERS' version, lest we forget, acquired the carcass of something called The Literary Digest, a successful newsrag that went out of business after conducting a notorious self-selected (!) telephone poll predicting Alf Landon would be voted president. With their mix of bland service features, show-biz puffery and active political disinformation the newsrags occupy a decreasing niche of our attention, and while fifty years ago the world would have been unimaginable without them, outside doctors' offices and classrooms the world is increasingly imaginable without them.