Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Friday, October 31, 2003
Posted
5:36 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:27 PM
by Gene
Kerry, Dean Trade Shots Over Gun Control And how apt that when I brought up the page I got the lady with the moustache.
Posted
5:24 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:20 PM
by Gene
We could say something, Bill's Entomologists, about YOUR BUGWARE, but we think we'll hold our tongue for now.
Posted
5:18 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:37 PM
by Gene
Now that's what I call good sportsmanship! I repeat: How long before EisnerCorp's E$PCN stages a high-school Super Bowl?
Posted
12:34 PM
by Gene
Sorry, we have $5 million, they have 72 virgins. No contest.
Posted
12:22 PM
by Gene
Misery must love miserable company in the music biz these days.
Posted
12:09 PM
by Gene
GET HIM TOGETHER WITH LARRY KUDLOW!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
11:54 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:50 AM
by Gene
Translation: here comes more trendy short-lived superficial "critically-acclaimed" hack work.
Posted
6:26 AM
by Gene
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6:24 AM
by Gene
Now if only Spidey could spin a web around Trib's CEO.... Thursday, October 30, 2003
Posted
6:27 PM
by Gene
Well, not entirely a myth. Look at EisnerCorp. All RICHARD MICKEYMOUSE NIXON had to do was rearrange the empty suits in the Titanic's boardroom and he wins.
Posted
6:04 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:51 PM
by Gene
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5:45 PM
by Gene
So -- can we catch up to the Japanese by standing still?
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
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5:24 PM
by Gene
Sorry, underground is where worms and Tauzins come from.
Posted
5:16 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:12 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:02 PM
by Gene
Comcast Reports Net Income of $3.18B!!!!!!!!!!! "We're winning because we're ubiquitous!!!!!!!!!!!!" Guess who loses with $500 a month cable.
Posted
3:48 PM
by Gene
![]() OH oh, somebody's started a WEB SITE -- saying the legendary JoePa must GO! Winning isn't everything -- it's the ONLY thing! Ka-CHING!!!!!
Posted
3:35 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:20 PM
by Gene
Shares of Aztar [the casino's owner], which had been trading up all week, fell 4.5 percent to $21.59. Two other companies with big operations in New Jersey rose. Park Place Entertainment tacked on over 1 percent to $9.81 while Harrah's was up 1.3 percent to $43.85. Who says THE FREE ENTERPRISE SYSTEM doesn't work?
Posted
9:35 AM
by Gene
At least CBS Marketwatch is honest enough to charge nothing. (This links on Romenesko.)
Posted
8:50 AM
by Gene
Women’s rights advocates fear conservative backlash There go those CONSERVATIVES again.
Posted
8:47 AM
by Gene
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Posted
5:33 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:27 PM
by Gene
Whatcha gonna call it, Rebel? The Traitor Party? The Ba'ath Party? The Genocide Party? The INTERNATIONAL A.N.S.W.E.R. Party? The Bribery Party? (Oops, can't be that. Billy Tauzin already took it.)
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:19 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:50 AM
by Gene
...starring in arthouse movies and big-budget flops. Hard to believe people once paid to see "Hollywood's top female stars." Put Jack Mathews on the (tentative) JACK REPLACEMENT LIST!
Posted
8:56 AM
by Gene
Oscar-nominated British actor Jude Law was divorced from Sadie Frost Wednesday after she blamed him for exacerbating her post-natal depression.
Posted
8:44 AM
by Gene
He has an anthology of his reviews called Hatchet Job. Had it been most ad-blurb copywriters he could have called it Feather-Duster Job, or Expensive-Perfume-and-Manicure Job, or [CENSORED!!!!!!!!!!] Job.
Posted
8:35 AM
by Gene
Tauzin to Head MPAA Though didn't he work for them anyway? Read the comments here, and on Slashdot. This guy's having his head handed to him on a silver nitrate platter. Sorry sleazeball, this isn't '66.
Posted
6:46 AM
by Gene
BIASED?!? WE'RE NOT BIASED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
6:43 AM
by Gene
That small investors get the shaft -- well, they deserve it because they're small.
Posted
6:37 AM
by Gene
Bad, BAAAAAAD guy.
Posted
6:24 AM
by Gene
![]() The FREEDOM FIGHTER FIGHTER'S FRIEND™ Presents MORE GREAT NEWS FROM IRAQ!!!!!
Posted
6:19 AM
by Gene
Record a few Hitler speeches and bad off-rhymes and you'll get it back times a dozen!
Posted
6:18 AM
by Gene
Isn't that like begging them to leave? Tuesday, October 28, 2003
Posted
5:53 PM
by Gene
Motherhood not only makes females smarter, it makes them calmer under pressure and more courageous, a U.S. researcher said on Tuesday. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. Hope the luxury news suites don't have conniptions.
Posted
5:49 PM
by Gene
Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Posted
5:42 PM
by Gene
You belong in a zoo.... Well, a prison, anyway. (AM I INFRINGING ON YOUR RIGHTS, TWX?!?!?)
Posted
5:33 PM
by Gene
Excellent, if true. We must tell the Iraqis our commitment to them is backed by the full faith and credit or OUR government. This is the Marshall Plan II, and it could pay dividends just as the original one did. Of course there'll be misspending. When hasn't there been? That's a cost of procuring the Iraqis' freedom. Just so long as they pay their parking tickets.
Posted
5:26 PM
by Gene
That's how I'd do it.
Posted
5:20 PM
by Gene
DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
Posted
5:13 PM
by Gene
INSIDER TRADING IS NOT A CRIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not to you it isn't.
Posted
2:37 PM
by Gene
Old terrorist to run it, I say.
Posted
1:24 PM
by Gene
He's just boasting. AND SO'S THE DAILY NEWS.
Posted
1:18 PM
by Gene
Now that's ATTITUDE. And I really like this: [W]omen [in the sweatshop] were given mandatory pregnancy tests and that those who tested positive were immediately fired. Guess we call them HOs.
Posted
11:25 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:20 AM
by Gene
Very sensitive, or very embarrassing?
Posted
11:13 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:53 AM
by Gene
This looks to be, oh, a semi-annual occurrence.
Posted
6:42 AM
by Gene
Cohen: Master of Fiction This was the front-page link to a story by Richard Cohen in which he vituperates over the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEvil Vice-President Inside. Such is this cry-baby's reputation, however, that the link could have referred to himself. A tiny bit of common sense would have resulted in Cohen: Dick Cheney, Fiction Master. But news hacks have no sense, and Richard Cohen is a master of fiction.
Posted
6:26 AM
by Gene
Ted Kaczynski, who terrorized the nation with letter bombs for 17 years, is angry because his jailers are messing with his mail. Monday, October 27, 2003
Posted
7:26 PM
by Gene
President Andrew Jackson, on why he closed the Bank of the United States, July 10, 1832.
Posted
7:13 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:59 PM
by Gene
Somebody's hand. Make this world a better place... IF YOU CAN. Maybe this is what Bob "Chrysler" Lutz had in mind when he said, "Why should we feed the hand that bites us?"
Posted
6:37 PM
by Gene
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6:09 PM
by Gene
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5:35 PM
by Gene
I suggest the New York Public Library and the Museum of Natural History had some sense in this.
Posted
5:09 PM
by Gene
P. S. This expostulating clown "has a Ph.D. in political philosophy from the University of Ottawa, and an M.A. and B.A. from Boston College," which means some people simply can't graduate from higher education. P. P. S. I notice that a paragraph involving Andy S. appears in a different font. Did you vet this with him at the last minute for his blogging approval, Dr. Brian? P. P. P. S. This is from City Journal, which has proposed plunking dull neo-classical buildings on Lincoln Center and Ground Zero. I guess this is its version of getting a tattoo and a belly-button ring. P. P. P. P. S. Except for the aside to Andy S., I'd bet this word processing demonstration went to bed long before Rush quit and Gregg got fired from ESPCN, two acts that prove PC LIVES.
Posted
3:19 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:24 PM
by Gene
Attack Is a Media Coup for Iraq Resistance, Experts Say DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH....
Posted
11:41 AM
by Gene
Good luck! You'll need it. (Pffh-hh-hh!)
Posted
10:10 AM
by Gene
Why is this weeniette taken seriously?
Posted
9:43 AM
by Gene
OR: "We just want conversations [emphasis added], and my editors want the same when I'm trying to sell YOUR [emphasis added] story to them."
Posted
6:35 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:25 AM
by Gene
Oops. (BIG caveat: this IS NewsMax.)
Posted
6:20 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:15 AM
by Gene
It needs his help?
Posted
6:10 AM
by Gene
Sunday, October 26, 2003
Posted
3:55 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:32 PM
by Gene
And he'd be the first to admit it.
Posted
12:36 PM
by Gene
Does it really matter where they were headed?
Posted
11:18 AM
by Gene
Here’s a verbal Rorschach test: when you hear the term “crowd-pleasing” attached to a movie, does it seem a recommendation or a dis? "Crowd-pleasing," "critically-acclaimed," six of one ink blot....
Posted
11:15 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:21 AM
by Gene
The bozos who get their blood boiling over this know the meaning of "WAR IS PEACE. FREEDOM IS SLAVERY. IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH."
Posted
8:09 AM
by Gene
Yes, dirt and germs do come in many varieties. The mark of a spinner: this well-paid hack cites all the VETERANS who turned out. Therefore, being for TOTAL RETREAT from IRAQ is PATRIOTIC. My guess is there was blood-curdling screaming in the Post's luxury news suite when it went on page A8.
Posted
7:42 AM
by Gene
The forces of reaction -- WIN AGAIN!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! I don't like the NRA any better than I like JACK's Conspiracy, but at least in its favor, lots of little people own guns, and its membership is greater than SEVEN.
Posted
7:37 AM
by Gene
Posted
7:33 AM
by Gene
You still shaking out the cobwebs from that conference, MR. MARK? Or were they there from when you were BORN?
Posted
7:26 AM
by Gene
Saturday, October 25, 2003
Posted
6:33 PM
by Gene
I smell a conspiracy of poor, stupid, easily-led people!
Posted
6:30 PM
by Gene
This is why we can't trust polls. It's the chicken-and-the-egg quandary -- only with polls, the chickens do the polling.
Posted
4:21 PM
by Gene
What kind of intelligence did Abe Lincoln have?
Posted
1:56 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:42 PM
by Gene
I could say something, but I won't. (Except this IS a NewsMax.)
Posted
1:16 PM
by Gene
He was second on my list of candidates after Slick -- and Ken Auletta. Congratulations, NAB! You can now shaft the public legally. P. S. He just bought a ranch in Tex-AS. Either way, he's ready for big-time bribery. And of course, he'll be serving up THAT DELICIOUS TAUZIN ALPHABET GUMBO! (From JACK's SECRET recipe!)
Posted
1:12 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:34 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:31 AM
by Gene
Friday, October 24, 2003
Posted
6:01 PM
by Gene
Sorry Lee Kravitz, with your every cover story a show-biz puff piece the only action you inspire in Parade readers is throwing your rag in the recycle bin.
Posted
5:52 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:28 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:24 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:56 AM
by Gene
Of course I'd say most porn at home is STUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPID.
Posted
11:45 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:03 AM
by Gene
![]() Why is this former White House flack smiling? He just got 500 grand for his ghosted "memoirs." What's Ari going to say for 500 grand? "I was smug and secretive"? That's 100 grand a word. Oh well, that's book-biz.
Posted
6:58 AM
by Gene
CHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHING CHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHING CHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHINGCHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And a bonus point to FT for pulling a Big C on this one. $25 BILLION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
6:39 AM
by Gene
Can we trust one word these scribblers write about ANYTHING?!?!?
Posted
6:37 AM
by Gene
The front-page teaser head is right, though: Hollywood attacks history. It often does.
Posted
6:35 AM
by Gene
And also ol' Blue, Maria Callas, The Beatles, Nat "King" Cole, The Beach Boys, but hey, this is good enough. More confirmation that news hacks are musical illiterates. Thursday, October 23, 2003
Posted
6:45 PM
by Gene
Don't forget.
Posted
6:23 PM
by Gene
Where's your job headed?
Posted
6:13 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:04 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:00 PM
by Gene
Meaning the @%#$&*s will pass something at the LAST MINUTE -- for the SENIORS.
Posted
5:52 PM
by Gene
With five hundred porno solicitations in my Hotmail box every day, I KNOW THE FEELING.
Posted
5:44 PM
by Gene
![]() DUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I was depressed. Had the stunt gone some other way, you wouldn't be depressed, BUD.
Posted
5:36 PM
by Gene
Ba-BYE!!!!!
Posted
5:33 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:23 PM
by Gene
It also contains this flat-out laugh line: "An outstanding 73% of respondents said advertising and marketing functions at their companies are held to the same or higher level of accountability as other corporate functions." And you can see it EVERY DAY ON TELEVISION. WHY MUST YOU IDIOTS SET RECORDS SPENDING ON THIS ABOMINABLE MEDIUM UNTIL THE END OF TIME?
Posted
9:41 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:43 AM
by Gene
Because so far nobody has invented a program (or programmie) that lets you push a button and make network-TV interviews or publish press releases or rave ad blurbs in ten thousand papers.
Posted
8:22 AM
by Gene
"The U.N. security management system failed in its mission to provide adequate security to U.N. staff in Iraq," said the authors, a seven-member committee named by Secretary General Kofi Annan and led by Martti Ahtisaari, a former president of Finland. THE U. S. WAS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT US! IT WAS THEIR IDEA!!
Posted
6:42 AM
by Gene
Read these words, then read of Bill "MENSA MAN" Carter and his thirteenth paragraph, and then read of the Times correspondent who sold her services at a PR fest, and you must conclude, SHOW-BIZ REPORTERS SHOULD BE BANNED.
Posted
6:36 AM
by Gene
I wouldn't hold my breath; then again, JAYSON may help make it possible.
Posted
6:24 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:19 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:14 AM
by Gene
I guess that means Reuters et al put them in the hall of fame beside Rachel Corrie. Wednesday, October 22, 2003
Posted
7:03 PM
by Gene
Centrist Arnold Schwarzenegger defeated centrist Gray Davis in California yesterday I guess they call this the muddled middle.
Posted
6:51 PM
by Gene
Unless DICK MICKEYMOUSE NIXON beats them to it.
Posted
6:32 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:19 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:59 PM
by Gene
WALTER WINCHELL OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T KNOW THIS IS SATIRE!!!!!!!!!! WALTER!!!!!!!!!! PULL THAT HAT OVER YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
5:00 PM
by Gene
Wanna bet the head of Daimler's American operations doesn't know about it -- or if he does, doesn't care? (OR: VEEE didn't knohh veee uset VORCED LABURRR!!! [This content has evidently vanished from Daimler's Web site.]) WANNA BET THEY'D LIKE TO SPONSOR THE OSAMA CHANNEL? Or as this Dilbertette of corporate lying has said, “Both Dodge and Disney are all about connecting with families!!!!!” How true. They connect with ultraviolent movies and you connect by selling penises. Oh I forgot to say, they're aiming this at the -- URBAN audience (wink wink), meaning, we think blacks are stupid and uncultured. But then, Hitler didn't like Jesse Owens either.
Posted
1:56 PM
by Gene
One possible factor is more basic, Mr. Sternberg [some know-it-all for a media-buying firm, ewwwwwwwww] said — the quality of the new shows. "I've always noticed that we never hear anybody talking about the programming." [Could it be we never hear anybody talking about the programming because the producers and the executives and the ad-agency types and the media buyers and their clients and sycophants like BILL CARTER never talk about it? Just a thought.] He noted that the networks, which still tend to drive the overall viewing figures, have suffered though a grim start to their new prime-time season. "What has anybody put on that's going to appeal to young men?" Mr. Sternberg asked. Maybe those young men aren't so stupid. Maybe the TV audience isn't so stupid. Maybe the "ZUCKS" ZUCKERS and the MEDIA BUYERS and the AD AGENCY EXECS and the AD VICE-PRESIDENTS ARE STUPID -- for spending 21st-century dollars on this horse-and-buggy medium, and getting what you usually get from horses. P. S. OR: "We just want conversations [emphasis added], and my editors want the same when I'm trying to sell YOUR [emphasis added] story to them."
Posted
1:24 PM
by Gene
As I've said before, the ordinary comic strip is unfunny because it's older than the hills. The new, improved comic strip is unfunny because it has ATTITUDE. The truth is, ALL COMIC STRIPS ARE UNFUNNY.
Posted
1:18 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:09 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:29 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:04 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:55 AM
by Gene
Guess He doesn't want other people to walk on water.
Posted
6:28 AM
by Gene
That's Liza with a Z . . . as in ZAP! BAM! POW! Life was no "Cabaret" for the estranged husband of Liza Minnelli, who is accusing her in a $10 million lawsuit of repeatedly and drunkenly pummeling him during their short, bizarre marriage - leaving him with lingering injuries. "Liza! Stop it! Stop it!" producer and Shirley Temple memorabilia collector David Gest says he shouted during one alleged beating. Some allegations in the stunning lawsuit, filed yesterday in Manhattan Supreme Court: Drunk on vodka, Minnelli threw a lamp at Gest in a London hotel suite before pummeling his face. Another vodka-fueled whupping came in their E. 69th St. apartment, when she beat Gest "with her hands about the head until he ran into the other room." Minnelli also turned against her production manager, Steve Benanav, nearly strangling him. Who needs reality TV when we have -- A MINI-SERIES!
Posted
6:23 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:21 AM
by Gene
I wouldn't even post on this boring insider baseball story on the most self-obsessed types this side of NEWS HACKS except that for the first time in memory two of the hacks say his CONSPIRACY owns most of the "INDEPENDENTS" -- an OUTRAGEOUS faux pas, punishable by being assigned to the copy desk. Tuesday, October 21, 2003
Posted
6:34 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:02 PM
by Gene
And yes, TWXster, I doubt if any seven-digit media type actually ever answers a plebeian's e-mail, but it sure would be nice -- occasionally. And TWXster, I confess I like the Times' old typefaces a little better myself -- but who reads newspapers anymore?
Posted
5:16 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:45 PM
by Gene
Herb Kelleher should sue!!!!!
Posted
4:40 PM
by Gene
As well it should. If we shaft the Iraqis we shaft ourselves. I know people are annoyed at the prospect of more foreign aid. God knows enough of it's wasted, on ingrates like Egypt. But we damaged some of Iraq to make the Iraqis free. Why should we put a lien on their freedom?
Posted
6:50 AM
by Gene
Or as the intrepid reporter once said: TALK, DON'T PITCH, SAYS REPORTER "Conversations, not pitches work best for me," said Laura Holson, west coast correspondent for The New York Times, told more than 350+ PR pros. Laura Holson, NY Times West Coast correspondent, says pitching is too predatory. "Pitching is too predatory [sic], we just want conversations [emphasis added], and my editors want the same when I'm trying to sell YOUR [emphasis added] story to them," she told the Business Wire-sponsored workshop March 27, 2001 at the Santa Monica Flying Museum. In another world she'd be reprimanded.
Posted
6:42 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:34 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:30 AM
by Gene
![]() If I didn't know better I'd say this looks like some sort of audition for The Mikado.
Posted
6:23 AM
by Gene
SORRY, SOB, YOUR ACT DOESN'T WORK ANYMORE.Monday, October 20, 2003
Posted
7:46 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:33 PM
by Gene
I wish I could answer Bob "Chrysler" Lutz' line, but it's beyond my poor power of ridicule.
Posted
6:06 PM
by Gene
Richmond, Va.: Any thoughts on ESPN.com getting rid of Gregg Easterbrook's Tuesday Morning Quarterback column because of remarks he made in a column on another Web site? Seems like overkill to me. Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon: Tony is back and will finish up the show b/c Wilbon is still MIA. --Mary I have no idea who Gregg Easterbrook is. I think there are far too many Web sites now including this Web site. I think you people who spend more than 1 hr a day looking at Web sites should be transformed into giant bugs and crows should fly over and eat you. Are you happy now? --Tony Ditto, I'm sure.
Posted
5:54 PM
by Gene
I'd have thought John Dos Passos had more sense than this.
Posted
5:50 PM
by Gene
All I can say is, GOOD.
Posted
5:26 PM
by Gene
I can barely see, though, why Buzz TWXster wants people to shut up. This is one of those stories that seems to spin round and round and go nowhere, or turns into insider baseball and a total irrelevance. As if EisnerCorp and E(isnerCorp)S(uckup)PCN are a total irrelevance.
Posted
3:03 PM
by Gene
Editors Field Increased Complaints About Blurred Editorial-Advertising Line The henhouse guards the fox's lair. Or as MR. MARK puts it: "There's more confusion than ever." Yeah. And you're doing a lot of the confusing.
Posted
2:51 PM
by Gene
Buzz remembers who pays his pension! Or as Peter Howell put it in his obituary for Ain't It Cool News's brain, "[T]he Internet...once held so much promise as a radical new information tool. Now it just seems like another extension of corporate America, the online voice for The Man." Once a TWXster, ALWAYS a TWXster.
Posted
12:03 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:58 AM
by Gene
Yep, I guess you do rearrange newsprint, don't you.
Posted
11:21 AM
by Gene
So how do they do it, USA Okay? Duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... (By the way, shouldn't that have read "negatively impact"?)
Posted
6:45 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:34 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:22 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:05 AM
by Gene
FISH FRY Great minds think alike, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. And these are supposed to be mortal enemies, sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Sunday, October 19, 2003
Posted
7:55 PM
by Gene
Your fellow Stooges might ponder that the next time they boast about our casualties in Iraq.
Posted
5:55 PM
by Gene
Aside from GOOD, I can only say this is no scoop; BLUNDER's super-PR guy reported the sage Robert Altman threatening to boycott the Oscars®. These clowns' hubris knows no bounds. To see them immolate themselves over pieces of gold-plated tin should prove highly amusing. I stand corrected: gold-plated britannium.
Posted
5:15 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:10 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:08 PM
by Gene
These are serious charges. But more than thirty years have gone by, and thirty years have seen the news hack's image gone from crusading truth teller to millionaire pathological liar. Even if God came down from the heavens to prove every last word true, many people wouldn't believe them -- because of all the NEWS HACKS have done in the intervening years -- and because NEWS HACKS condemned several millions to death in Indochina in the name of their own infinite vanity. "WE -- THE MEDIA...."
Posted
1:48 PM
by Gene
MR. MARK!! FIRE THIS GUY!!!!!
Posted
1:29 PM
by Gene
![]() Just thinking of the mechanical "revival" of the Rat Pack, and that huge mechanical contraption playing at Radio City, should be perfect for somebody writing an ARTS column -- but then halfway down, THE GLIBERAL yet again turns his face beet red and his head three times normal thinking of a man who probably never had anything to do with them, except he's a Republican, as was Sammy, as was Tricky Dick -- in short, the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL -- never mind. GLIB! Call MR. MARK. You'd be the PERFECT columnist for BLUNDER. Forget it. You're the perfect columnist for the Times.
Posted
12:26 PM
by Gene
NOTE: This sources from The Washington Times and Insight, meaning BLUNDER didn't have to do any reporting on its own this week.
Posted
12:18 PM
by Gene
Well that's your opinion. P. S. PEOPLE SHOULD NOT HAVE TO FORFEIT LIFE, LIBERTY AND PROPERTY FOR SAYING STUPID THINGS. Shame is enough.
Posted
9:12 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:56 AM
by Gene
"WE -- THE MEDIA...." I've been quoting this lunkhead, THIS LUNKHEAD EXECUTIVE EDITOR OF THE KNIGHT RIDDER SAN JOSE NEWSPAPER MONOPOLY, for days because her words are a sinister echo of the Constitution's preamble: "WE the PEOPLE," and maybe she didn't mean them that way, but they sure did come out that way, and what is inescapable, the media have thoroughly supplanted the people to become a law unto themselves. In time, if I ever get the time, I may write a parody of the Constitution as rewritten by news hacks, and put it up as a permalink. These idiots are above all mortal punishments. Saturday, October 18, 2003
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
The Osama Channel will be over this one for weeks.
Posted
5:27 PM
by Gene
I'm thinking this because THE PROFESSOR (one of whose co-productions helped fire Gregg -- well look at this way buddy, you can boast of it to Mickey Mouse Michael when you peddle your next screenplay) was gloating over DEMOCRACY AT WORK when he and his crew claimed to take down Trent Lott. Trent is a buffoon, and an appeaser, and a compromiser in the worst sense, but you must entertain these tiny doubts that he exactly deserved what happened to him. And what happened to Gregg is just Trent REDUX. AND HE DIDN'T DESERVE IT. I fear that in slaying one electronic monster -- and it does not appear that its skin has even been pricked, though it is suffering convulsions, which may be an act -- we're creating a new one, faster, more efficient, and deadlier. Be careful of what you wish for.... P. S. "The Rumor" is probably the only song in Fiddler that isn't well known for the simple reason that though it was recorded for the original cast album it wasn't issued until the first CD version in the mid-80s. P. P. S. SUPERFAST WALTER WINCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hasn't even posted the story yet. That lummox is the single most overrated figure on the Web. P. P. P. S. Sorry Buzz, this IS about SYNERGY. Or as you say, "It always it." (Nice thing about being a SuperBlogger -- you don't have to rewrite yourself, right Buzz?)
Posted
2:41 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:32 PM
by Gene
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2:20 PM
by Gene
We'll still look for that book, though -- somewhere between the Stephen King and the Dean Koontz. "It-Makes-You-Go-Hmmm" moment: his publicist "denied he was in financial trouble. She said he was at work on a new film." Who's your twenty-something sex interest this time, Perv?
Posted
1:58 PM
by Gene
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12:08 PM
by Gene
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11:29 AM
by Gene
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10:59 AM
by Gene
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10:56 AM
by Gene
And to you HACKS who just conveniently discovered anti-Semitism, why did it take an attack on YOUR SIAMESE TWINS to get you to yelp? WHY HAVEN'T YOU DEFENDED JEWS THESE LAST TWO YEARS? "WE -- THE MEDIA...." Friday, October 17, 2003
Posted
9:14 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:32 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:03 PM
by Gene
You ad-blurb copywriters gave us ripping horror movies -- and now we can't escape them. You ad-blurb copywriters gave us "hilarious" gross-out comedies -- and now we can't escape them. You ad-blurb copywriters gave us artistic slasher movies -- and now we can't escape them. Time for flame-mail in a blog: YOU AD-BLURB COPYWRITING IMBECILES GAVE US ALL MANNER OF BAD MOVIES USING EXCUSES LIKE IRONY AND POST-MODERN AND EDGY AND ON AND ON AND ON, AND NOW ALL WE GET ARE BAD MOVIES. YOU IDIOT SCRIBBLERS ARE AT LEAST AS RESPONSIBLE FOR TODAY'S SURFEIT OF CINEMATIC VOMIT AS ANYONE ELSE."WE -- THE MEDIA...."
Posted
1:15 PM
by Gene
How could he when his eyes were -- elsewhere?
Posted
12:35 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:52 AM
by Gene
![]() Architects say the Taipei 101's design is based on a bamboo shoot. I thought it was based on a stack of wastebaskets. If that cityscape isn't a thing out of a bad fantasy videogame I don't know what is.
Posted
11:43 AM
by Gene
HOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!! "WE -- THE MEDIA...."
Posted
11:28 AM
by Gene
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11:09 AM
by Gene
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10:59 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:33 AM
by Gene
Gotta say it again, SOB, that people aren't reading papers ISN'T YOUR FAULT!
Posted
10:16 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:47 AM
by Gene
...and on the same day BENNIFER GOT MARRIED? I think WE KNOW what the editor of BLUNDER would do! This silly interview confirms that MR. MARK'S RAG is America's second most risible publication after the Times. And a look at the program of the conference MR. MARK is leading confirms it's as airheaded as he.
Posted
6:25 AM
by Gene
Tell that to the mad mullahs.
Posted
6:19 AM
by Gene
But you don't want Maureen Dowd out? She says silly things in every column.
Posted
6:17 AM
by Gene
What prompted the EU to criticize him? Thursday, October 16, 2003
Posted
6:38 PM
by Gene
![]() THE PICTURE WHICH SHAMES US ARMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Translation: BRING BACK THE TALIBAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This Osama Channel Update brought to you by PONTIAC® -- FUEL FOR THE SOUL!®
Posted
6:28 PM
by Gene
Microsoft warns of 4 new 'critical' Windows flaws Duuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....
Posted
6:16 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:46 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:34 PM
by Gene
"We -- the media...." OH SHUT UP!!!!!
Posted
1:19 PM
by Gene
Translation: we make six and seven digits because we're the smartest people on the planet, spend all the livelong day in hermetically-sealed luxury news suites engaging in intellectual masturbation, are never EVER wrong, think our readers are yahoos at best, and put on these occasional acts of false contrition that fool no one but do make us feel very good again. In short, THE PUBLIC BE DAMNED!
Posted
12:05 PM
by Gene
![]() A stinkweed is a stinkweed is a stinkweed. P. S. More news hack excellence: the logo is just the line at the top. I sort of like it better AdAge's way -- the UNHOLY TRINITY. ![]() You may recall when the INFAMOUS Steve Ross (I figure if we can call THAT FAN infamous, ditto with Steve Ross) created TWX Version 1.0, he came up with the screwy logo on the left for the whole company and spent millions selling it, including a prime-time special on ABC (starring Robin Williams, among Steve's other friends) boasting of his organization's PC. (STEVE WAS AHEAD OF THE CURVE!) But I guess the "TIME INC.ERS," still ticked that an OUTSIDER took over THEIR BUSINESS, mightily complained, and the eye-ear was ditched, and the fiction of Time Inc. continuing as an independent entity began. All that artwork for nothing.
Posted
9:52 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:48 AM
by Gene
By that standard, the Times is nothing more than overpriced newsprint -- as it strives to show every day. But then given that he's "pessimestic," bloggers may have nothing to worry about.
Posted
9:08 AM
by Gene
"Experience is a private, very largely speechless affair." --James Baldwin Where have these clowns been these last several media eons?
Posted
8:40 AM
by Gene
Only in America. Or South Dakota.
Posted
6:52 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:40 AM
by Gene
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6:27 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:23 AM
by Gene
Fortunately, we're told, he's "outgoing." Don't want to guess who's incoming.
Posted
6:17 AM
by Gene
Wednesday, October 15, 2003
Posted
5:44 PM
by Gene
And we shouldn't limit it to atriums in university libraries.
Posted
5:30 PM
by Gene
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5:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:35 PM
by Gene
YoudaMAN, Bill BUCKNER!
Posted
2:25 PM
by Gene
Caveat: it also comes from The Wall Street Journals Conservative Edition.
Posted
2:15 PM
by Gene
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12:28 PM
by Gene
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12:26 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:09 PM
by Gene
Perhaps it was the microscope that hooked up to his computer. Then again, maybe Mr. Lipson, 42, would choose the universal remote control that came with a manual as thick as a Russian novel. But that would be shortchanging the Webcam — a video camera that transfers images over the Internet — that he used once, stashed in a closet and finally threw away. Keep buyin' those electronic widgets -- and keep sellin' 'em on eBay!
Posted
11:11 AM
by Gene
Another new entry in THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY.
Posted
6:50 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:38 AM
by Gene
I think a lot of whatever "anger" there is over this (and I suspect few have even read it) stems from the lockstep sub-literate gamer mentality of too many on the Web, who'll worship every piece of high-tech junk that comes roaring down the pike, the bloodier the better, and Michael's hack is their guy, and Mr. Easterbrook threw them, shall we say, a bone. And SHUT UP, MR. YASSER IS DEAD; you didn't do anything about that Foggy Bottom map except caterwaul -- and the map is far worse.
Posted
6:23 AM
by Gene
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