Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Sunday, February 29, 2004
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3:41 PM
by Gene
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3:09 PM
by Gene
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3:03 PM
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1:27 PM
by Gene
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1:18 PM
by Gene
And it's impossible to argue with any six- or seven-digit news hack in whom resides all wisdom.
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1:11 PM
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12:37 PM
by Gene
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11:05 AM
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10:39 AM
by Gene
And speaking of fiction, MR. SCIENCE FICTION (whoops! Mr. SPECULATIVE Fiction; the sci-fiers get a little antsy about being called HACKS) trots out the four-day-old conservative canard that the libs are HYPOCRITES for hating P. R. MEL's MASTERPIECE. I agree: the same ad-blurb copywriters gushed orgasmic over Pulp Fiction. But hypocrisy cuts both ways: P. R. MEL's most strident defenders screamed their heads off over MS. BOOB. A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES.
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10:27 AM
by Gene
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8:44 AM
by Gene
Not that I care.
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8:42 AM
by Gene
1. He prevents you from scrolling for about twenty seconds, and when you try, you get a bar-code effect on the screen; OR 2. He prevents you from scrolling for about thirty seconds, and when you try, the screen divides horizontally two hundred ways, and when you move the cursor over the scroll bar it divvies up further. WHAT HATH BILL -- er, GOD WROUGHT?
Posted
8:37 AM
by Gene
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8:31 AM
by Gene
If it's ANY consolation, MARK, MRS. SLUT's going on a tour. Now if we could get her and MS. BOOB together you'd REALLY have a cover story.
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8:24 AM
by Gene
LET US PRAY.
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8:13 AM
by Gene
The pitiful Haitians stand to be poor and ruled by despots forever, unless someone discovers some magical element we don't know about, or unless American business exports enough jobs there. Saturday, February 28, 2004
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10:13 PM
by Gene
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9:44 PM
by Gene
Here, Michael Novak and company, is a DOWNSIDE of religious fundamentalism.
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5:48 PM
by Gene
"Clear Channel has tons of Rap stations, and I'm sure the word nigger is used on those," he said in reference to the content CC cited in dumping him. "And that's not even a word considered objectionable by the FCC, but I still hung up on the dude because he said the N word." Of course it is, and of course CHEAP CHANNEL doesn't know its rear end from a hole in the ground -- except in selling ads, which is ITS ONLY BUSINESS.
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5:34 PM
by Gene
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4:59 PM
by Gene
Of course this is an idiotic fantasy. But we've come to the precipice too many times since the first Civil War. Twice in our history communists scampered under our beds, leading to something approaching cold civil wars. In the early thirties America faced revolution over a 25% unemployment rate -- and it could have happened had FDR not escaped an assassination attempt. (Remember that?) We still have not quite uprighted ourselves morally from the social upheavals of the sixties. And for those who would cite indefinable inexorable forces, some have blamed the Civil War on a woman. And the murder of some silly archduke in a country that no one heard of led to most of the last century's catastrophes. Who's to say today's intolerant ninnies can't lead us to total destruction?
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2:45 PM
by Gene
I don't like writing like this, but some days I get so bewildered and frustrated.
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2:11 PM
by Gene
![]() ...that train shouldn't be smashing through a crossing, because crossing barriers are set up parallel to the tracks -- to prevent cars from getting through. With news hacks the little errors multiply until we get one great big error, or news hacks doing the everyday.
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2:00 PM
by Gene
Alas, they have always been with us, especially in wartime and most especially in America, far too many of whose well-meaning citizens are allergic to the exhilarating fizz of high art with a light touch. It seems not to occur to them that life is such an indissoluble mixture of heartbreak and absurdity that it might be more truly portrayed through the refracting lens of comedy. Instead, they prefer what Lord Byron, who knew a thing or two about both life and art, would have crisply dismissed as "sermons and soda-water." Today Lord Byron might have termed it "sermons and hydrochloric acid." And Terry was one of the locksteppers because he works for the CONSERVATIVE half of America's most ideologically dishonest paper. I hope eventually he comes to his senses, and when he does, he may be embarrassed.
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1:49 PM
by Gene
So can we infer that CGI Tolkien's MASTERPIECE may be less-than-great? I think so. (We may also infer that when they put their names above the titles the ad-blurb copywriters are honesty-challenged.)
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1:19 PM
by Gene
I know the feeling, ANDY S. (Although in truth it has been criticized by the likes of James Bowman and Christopher Hitchens, whose sympathies lie more or less within the camp.) But on Tuesday I posted, "[T]omorrow the whole @#$%&* CONSERVATIVE WORLD will be deafening with Tarzans." I saw this coming before you, and I don't get ninety quintazillion hits. (I will admit, though, the one thing about getting three hits a day is that nobody can call you overrated.) P. S. I still recall how R. EMMETT and The American Spectator, in a long-ago prelude to this five-act banshee scream, did a puff piece to end all puff pieces on the late, unlamented Morton Downey Jr., who came to admit his Rush-before-Rush routine was an act. And let us not forget only months ago CONSERVATIVES blasted anyone who criticized MR. MORALS for gambling -- because he was CONSERVATIVE. They've been working up to this lockstep gag for a long time, and I've lost a lot of respect for a lot of conservatives in the process.
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12:46 PM
by Gene
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
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12:25 PM
by Gene
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10:12 AM
by Gene
OR: But conservative or liberal, celebrity-driven voter registration campaigns may not sway an election. "By and large people don't vote because a celebrity tells you to vote," said Curtis Gans, director of the Committee for the Study of the American Electorate. In spite of MTV's Rock the Vote campaign and other initiatives, only 29% of the 8.4 million people aged 18 to 24 cast a ballot for president in 2000. Turnout has been in decline since 43% of young people voted in 1972. Translation: TAKE THAT RING OUT OF YOUR NOSE!
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10:06 AM
by Gene
Hey, JAYSON had a complex also. OR: ![]() What a photo. The Senator, self-important, with a self-important bulge in the cheek. The future Senator: an unregenerate SLOB, or maybe a lieutenant in HAITI. But the hair was great even then.
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9:46 AM
by Gene
Ovitz, according to the study by an independent accountant, spent more than $2 million to remodel his office. At one point, he and his decorator proposed changes to the woodwork. The tab: $150,000. I could see you were a man of distinction... It wasn't his only capital improvement. Disney also spent $48,305 on Ovitz's home screening room and $14,055 on his home office. To ensure that Ovitz motored in style, the company plunked down $99,135 to buy his BMW from his former employer. A REAL BIG SPENDER... Disney also spent nearly $80,000 on hundreds of gifts given by Ovitz to Hollywood players and others. Among the goodies: a $946 "firearm" for director Robert Zemeckis and a $200 cigar cutter for producer Al Ruddy. HEY, BIG SPENDER!
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9:36 AM
by Gene
Friday, February 27, 2004
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6:24 PM
by Gene
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5:56 PM
by Gene
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5:50 PM
by Gene
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5:28 PM
by Gene
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5:18 PM
by Gene
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1:28 PM
by Gene
Why can't you be this way ALL THE TIME, Buzz, rather than sporadically, like a flickering light bulb? (Of course I've pointed out this contradiction HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE but I don't get twenty kazillion hits a day.)
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1:18 PM
by Gene
THE HUMAN TOP probably hasn't written a word in years.
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1:15 PM
by Gene
News executives at WTOP radio in Washington decided to yank the scheduled CBS news update at 8 a.m. because its earlier news report about the Stern controversy seemed designed to fuel interest in his show. "It seemed promotional more than newsworthy," said Mike McMearty, news director for WTOP. Additionally, as McMearty noted, the CBS story failed to point out its corporate ties to Infinity. You can't trust VIACON down to its last preposition and conjunction.
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10:41 AM
by Gene
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9:01 AM
by Gene
He has no talent. Stern is a one joke kind of guy, and we have seen the joke. You are not his audience. Thirteen and fourteen year old boys getting dressed in the morning before getting on the school bus are his audience. They grow up into dysfunctional 18- through 24-year olds that leer at the equally screwed up females in their age bracket. Both quite right.
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8:56 AM
by Gene
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8:33 AM
by Gene
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8:22 AM
by Gene
Thursday, February 26, 2004
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5:48 PM
by Gene
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5:39 PM
by Gene
![]() Hey HOWIE! Aren't you getting a little OLD for ka-ka and wee-wee jokes? Without the funny dyed hair and glasses you'd look like a U. S. SENATOR. And if you wore your hair a natural color you'd look like AN OVERAGED FRUIT-AND-NUT HIPPIE.
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5:23 PM
by Gene
Marchons, MARCHONS, etc., etc., etc.
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3:16 PM
by Gene
I think the Haitians are doing a pretty good job of it themselves, no thank you Sen. Pander.
Posted
12:16 PM
by Gene
...and fell asleep on the job?
Posted
11:41 AM
by Gene
But it's NOTHING compared to the COMEDY KINGS of NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
11:37 AM
by Gene
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11:33 AM
by Gene
If you want to know the truth, we're ashamed too. "True and lasting change will only be achieved if the broadcast community recommits to its public service roots and its tradition of abiding by community standards of decency." I thought you thought "public service" was a fairy tale, GENERAL JR.!!!!! "Some of this hand-wringing in public is from the very people who have brought us a rogue's gallery of shock jocks." PRAISE GOD FOR MEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
10:45 AM
by Gene
She's paid for it.
Posted
10:27 AM
by Gene
From all the talk, you'd expect that the entire country watched the Sunday finale of "Sex and the City." Actually more people watched Monday's regularly scheduled episode of the far-less-buzzed about "Yes Dear" on CBS. And, surprise, shows like "Sex," for all the critical buzz they're getting, aren't sending viewers running to subscribe to HBO. The pay cable network has in fact been stuck in a year-long subscriber lull thatās holding even at about 27.2 million, according to Kagan Worldwide. The article claims the outfit's making big money on DVDs -- and shady internecine deals: "Sex" will debut on TBS in September 2005 after the network agreed to a reported $500,000-plus per episode fee. Translation: One set of TWXSTERS sends "money" to another set of TWXSTERS. In short, IT'S A ZERO-SUM GAME. No wonder TWX Internet Service has a rep. No wonder Pennsylvania's suing the TWXSTERS. This is blatant fraud aimed at shareholders.
Posted
9:13 AM
by Gene
One thing's clear: NO ONE WILL EVER BE FIRED.
Posted
9:10 AM
by Gene
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8:59 AM
by Gene
The Reign of Terror may slowly be coming to an end. One problem: if the ROBBER-BARON ROBERTSES win, we'll have a Reign of Error.
Posted
8:56 AM
by Gene
Here's betting our enemies do.
Posted
8:38 AM
by Gene
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8:30 AM
by Gene
DRUM HIM OUT OF THE MOVEMENT!!!!!!!!!!
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8:20 AM
by Gene
This is why the hero of the century was banished, BUZZ.
Posted
8:13 AM
by Gene
I guess one could be cutesy pie and say awwwwww, isn't that sweet, but these fool fans really believe in voodoo. So much for castor oil.
Posted
8:10 AM
by Gene
I thought college was about entertainment!
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8:09 AM
by Gene
THIS IS WAR!!!!!!!!!! I suppose the easiest thing is to say that Howie will cry all the way to the bank, but I'm not sure. Opie and Anthony haven't come back, and Congress has since declared war on broadcasters. And before you say SATELLITE, BUZZ, imagine the HUGE audience. And people will want to pay $10 a month for ka-ka and wee-wee jokes? I don't think so. Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Posted
6:02 PM
by Gene
I believe in God (though I must confess I haven't been inside a church since my days in a college choir); but I also believe religion is an intensely private matter. I think of the story of how CBS's "legendary" co-founder Bill Paley (remember him?) tried to keep Groucho Marx and You Bet Your Life in his stable. The two huddled in the bathroom at Gummo Marx' house and Paley said, "We Jews should stick together. You can't afford to go to NBC." It was a spectacularly lame-brained remark; NBC was owned by RCA, which was run by a Jew, the "legendary" "Gen." David Sarnoff. (Remember him?) And it was a cheap appeal to Jewish "clannishness," deeply offending the Grouch, who was a free thinker if ever there was one. He went to NBC; the rest is broadcast history. Religion has its good side, its very good side, in the untold millions who find peace through it. It has its bad side, its very bad side, in the Crusades and the Troubles and the Middle East and 9/11. I'm all for preaching the word, but you'd better be sure who's doing the preaching: William Penn (one of the truly great men of history), or a movie ass. And if it's a movie ass, you'd better be sure he's not picking your pockets. And that sin dates from at least the Bible. P. S. Anyone following my blog (that's a laugh!) may think I'm turning liberal (that's a laugh too). My leanings are inherently conservative; I am pro-life, anti-PC, and supported our wars in Iraq and Afghanistan with equal fervor. But I also believe the Biblical injunction that "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God," and I don't think there's a politico alive who's managed to pass a bill to ban sin yet, nor a news hack who could will it away with his scribbling. And forgive me, but I am suspicious of a religious pleading that comes from Hollywood, where believers in Ron outnumber believers in God, and that is embraced by a political movement that lived a good stretch of its life endorsing the tenets of anti-Semitism.
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3:00 PM
by Gene
It is increasingly likely that Comcast Corp. will have to add cash to its bid for Walt Disney Co., says Jessica Reif Cohen, an analyst at Merrill Lynch & Co.... Merrill has a banking relationship with Comcast and Disney. One or more of the Merrill analysts covering Comcast owns shares of the company. HARDY HAR HAR!!!!!
Posted
2:03 PM
by Gene
"I have no fear of photography as long as it cannot be used in heaven or hell." -Edvard Munch He didn't know Hollywood.
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1:56 PM
by Gene
What does THIS say about FREE ENTERPRISE? By the way, did the JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION's people SCAB?
Posted
1:50 PM
by Gene
Just so long as it's for a GOOD CAUSE, MR. NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE.
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1:28 PM
by Gene
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11:51 AM
by Gene
SHUT UP, NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
11:49 AM
by Gene
How can he talk of cutting SocSec benefits when we're giving the store away on prescription drugs? Make up your minds, somebody!
Posted
11:36 AM
by Gene
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11:32 AM
by Gene
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11:13 AM
by Gene
Let's skip aheadā¦ This is an odd bio from a man who just went into meltdown. By the way, Jonah, AREN'T GOD'S PRONOUNS CAPITALIZED?!?!?!?!? OR AREN'T WE TALKING ABOUT JESUS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Posted
10:52 AM
by Gene
I'm shocked! SHOCKED! Just like movie-ad-blurb copywriters. I'll never live it down.
Posted
10:37 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:15 AM
by Gene
When Griffith released [The Birth of a Nation] in 1915, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (or NAACP) and other groups protested; the NAACP published a 47-page pamphlet titled "Fighting a Vicious Film: Protest Against The Birth of a Nation," in which they referred to the film as "three miles of filth." W. E. B. Du Bois published scathing reviews in The Crisis, spurring a heated debate among the National Board of Censorship of Motion Pictures as to whether the film should be shown in New York. However, President and former history professor Woodrow Wilson viewed the film at the White House and proclaimed it not only historically accurate, but like "history writ with lightning." Like Woodrow Wilson, many whites felt it a truthful and accurate portrayal of racial politics, so much so that they flocked to join the rejuvenated Ku Klux Klan. [Emphasis added.] The years after Griffith released The Birth of a Nation saw massive race riots throughout the country, peaking especially in the North in 1919; many historians lay the blame for this racial conflict on Griffith's The Birth of a Nation. Think to yourself: how many people these days talk about The Birth of a Nation? P. S. I am not among those who believe David Wark Griffith should be expunged from film history; after all, he invented film's grammar, syntax, and most of its words. But his actions led to racial violence, and though I doubt anything approaching a rejuvenated KKK will happen again, given people are just so tired of reliving history (and those praising and opposing P. R. MEL's MASTERWORK are mostly full of their own importance; NRO, for instance, is in total meltdown), films, like words, can have consequences. But how wearying it is to know today's acme of controversy is tomorrow's relic.
Posted
9:00 AM
by Gene
Translation: HE'S LOSING THE ELECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Meantime PROF devotes the usual eight or nine thousand words to the story and discovers there's a thing called POLITICS. GASP! How this must corrode someone so PURE of HEART!
Posted
8:52 AM
by Gene
I recall, but cannot identify, a conversation between two actors who mentioned Sarah Jessica Parker's tube top as perhaps the smallest garment ever made. If you want to see Mrs. Parker-Broderick acting in a manner consistent with her dubious attributes and talents, you need look no farther than Tim Burton's Mars Attacks! wherein she plays a vacuous television reporter whose head is transplanted onto her Chihuahua's body and she falls in love with Pierce Brosnan's disembodied head. -- Bob Johnson Bedford, TX
Posted
8:37 AM
by Gene
The fox guards the henhouse again.
Posted
8:27 AM
by Gene
Translation: He's pandering. But THE "RIGHT" RESPONDS: WE CAN PANDER WITH THE BEST OF THEM! Interesting, though: when I clicked on the POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S front page I got this: ā¹ĀµVĆæoĆ¢6ĆæĀ¹Ć¹+ĆLZ@ĆĆ ĆĀµĆādK)Ćv: ĀŗĆ©Ā¦Iā¢ILĆ°āĆĆ1ĆĆnĆæĆ»Å¾Ć³Ć„Ć Ć«Ć®&-ĆĆ¾Ā¼Ć·Ć¼Ā¾?ĆāŗĀ«, ĆāŗSā Ā§ĖJipĆ»a8OƬƮ ?ŽĆ-Ć B.ĆPƤ xĆ8EĀ½Ė)&Āøā”KĆĆĆ„ā 7ƱĀ£q0M"ā Ć©āŗĆĆÅ Ć4}PĀ°?)ĆĆ9ā¹jĆnĆ~Ā½Å?ā¢pƦƔqƱ A8FĆ£ĆƤnĖĀ¦4aā¢00ÅĀ»Ā£āŗĆ”Ā½oĀÆĆ®ĆĀ«Å¾ĆæYāq$ĆRā¢ĆĆāĆ 3āĀ¬$ĆƦpĆĆ½JĀ¦ĆGĆ\Ā©Ć„[Å[NĆvĀ»Ć½ĆvĆĆƱĖāĀ“OcF0ā°slu ?Å)Āŗ$ ĆRāŗĆĆƦ?KĖāā°ĆBĀÆĆā ƱXlƬTDā¦ {IĆÅāÅv@Ć¹>i *2ĀBā¬Ć$[Ā¦4ĆĆĆ[Ā§Ā¢Rā¢Ā²\?-3Ć Ć¼}EĆ„Ā£ā ĀŖĀ½"2Ā”JĆ·ĀŖ`ĆĖĆ²ā°ĆuzMek`v?RZĆŖ?Ć„8nƫƤƓƵĆĆ¹āŗĀ¶cuPI(Ć“nĆ£OÅ aĀ¬$Ć£ jĆ“ĆS[p?k4āŗĆĆĆ„ĆĆWĆĀ¼Ć¢m!ĆmvÅĆÅ GĆĀØāĆ„v0ĆŖā”ĆÆĆ hĆ½a ā¹hā¢QĀ®Ć¬?ā 5,/DĆĀ£Ć;ĆĆqĀ®SĆ· YQĆĀ¢Ć =Ā°Ā£āĆ”Å”Ć¶%ĆĆā¬ĆĆƶưcĀ½ĀÆ ĆĀ”ĆĀŖƵ5Ā½Å1 &Å”āĀ£Ā«ĆĆĀÆ)UĀ“?XĆ ĆkoĆŗWhĆŖĆ®Ė Ā„Ā¤ Ć«ĆĆænĆ±Ć `tĆĆ¹NĆ Ć”Ā°0Ć²O(ā°Ā¢QpĆ)/Ā¶ÅkĀ»UĆ<+Ā·cĀ°jpĀ²f QBĆĀ«ÅĆ0ĆĀ®CĆĆā”ĆĀ¬aĆµĆ 'āĀ¦ÅøXMtĆØĀ£c}Ć¾ÅĀ¾JĆ¢ĆvĆ/t:Ć¹Ā¹ālBlwKV[Ā°?ĆĀ°Ć¦Ā¾4Ā¼ĆØĆ”Ć Ć]X4Ć¾ĆĆžĀ¬ĆouĆ“uJĀ¾!!U6ž;h=oĀ£Ć°Ć²Ā©ā¦Ć¾1LeLG7ĆĆ«āY0MsĆŗā¦Ā²Ćā¹{Ć«fwĆ«YSMĆ¢Ćāŗ Ā®PĆ>Qr?#ƵĆP2ā]ĆtMā¹ĆĆgĆĀ¬Ā£_WāEst1Ć3>ĆĀØĆAsIgĀ¾ #&ĆĆŗĀ„Ā¢ā°ĆĀ¾Ć³ĆĆ»iJĆøĆĆĀ²Ć8ĆeƤāŗĖe?ÅĆ$(wZĀSƧĆNĖĀ¾kH ĆÆ4Åā ĆĆā Ć jĆ®Ā·^Ā»p7 SYĀ“ ÅĆÆĆ¹4_vžĆƧK!UŽĆ?;ĆCĆ¹Ā«ÅĖāhĀ±kĆ Ćæjāā”Ā¹ĖB āāĀ¼PĆ°Āā¹NĆDāwƵDƶĆĆŖ.ÅRāĆFĆ Å EuCjOĀ”Np?pĆ«ā ?Ć©oā āX~?Ć¼$6Adā¢ How apt from RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P. S. I had to remove a lesser-than sign to get this to post. Truth in advertising.
Posted
8:19 AM
by Gene
But then we'd have TV, and radio -- and the WEB. And those three media pick up where newspapers leave off.
Posted
8:12 AM
by Gene
While I suspect most of the faithful will take their castor oil -- LIKE A MAN, I wonder how many will walk out mid-masterpiece -- and then blame their pastors? Although there is considerable enthusiasm about the film among evangelical Protestants, mainline Protestant leaders in Massachusetts, where churches tend to be more liberal than in other parts of the country, made it clear at the press conference and in interviews afterward that they have concerns about the film. The film has become a litmus test. Thanks, P. R. MEL. You get rich rich while the country suffers. Tuesday, February 24, 2004
Posted
6:28 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:19 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:08 PM
by Gene
Will someone on this forum (maybe someone who is Jewish) explain to me why everyone is SO sensitive about their heritage? Myriads of Jews have been persecuted, robbed, beaten, raped, tortured, exiled, and murdered because crowds were inflamed around this time of year with material relating to the Passion. It is a haunting memory, given the circumstances. The dimwit CONSERVATIVE ad-blurbist ninny Michael Medved LuuuuUUUUUUUUHHHHHVES it because it's conservative. (So, alas, does Terry Teachout -- because he writes for THE WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION.) WHY MUST THIS @#$%&* MOVIE BE A CONSERVATIVE LITMUS TEST?!?!? It's screaming like this that proves the old left-right dichotomy does us so much harm. And need I remind the TARZANS the true test of this movie will be the SECOND week?
Posted
6:02 PM
by Gene
Wanna bet this costs TENS OF MILLIONS OF TAX DOLLARS to fix -- if it can be fixed?
Posted
3:03 PM
by Gene
FREE ENTERPRISE AT WORK!
Posted
1:28 PM
by Gene
Why not burn it?
Posted
1:14 PM
by Gene
WHY IS MEL GIBSON ACTING SO CRAZY????????????? (front-page hed) As it happens, the story is conventional column-inch-filler/quote-anthology/show-biz-PR/news-hack-irony stuff, which end with our intrepid author intimating P. R. MEL is a business genius -- which he couldn't have been without the help and support of NEWS HACKS.
Posted
11:57 AM
by Gene
By the way, LACHLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, I can't find any press release on the FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! site, on the NEWSCORP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! site, on "RCA"'s site, or on Thomson's site. Good deking, LACHLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
11:24 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:20 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:06 AM
by Gene
The more we learn, the more we learn the Feds screwed up bigtime, don't we. P. S. Why does "politics" appear in the URL? I don't think 9/11 was about POLITICS.
Posted
10:46 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:42 AM
by Gene
The Eighteenth Amendment shows the folly of social engineering in the Constitution. But lots of judges think The New York Times is the Bible and Pinch is God. What can we do faced with the rock and the rockheads?
Posted
9:54 AM
by Gene
It will be hard, however, to improve on MOVIES FOR JERKS.
Posted
9:52 AM
by Gene
So let's burden the taxpayer -- and add an extra charge for efficiency!
Posted
9:44 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:44 AM
by Gene
Resigned -- or PUSCHED? Mitigating factor: the ex-PM worked for Boris the Drunkard.
Posted
8:35 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:29 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:16 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:10 AM
by Gene
This is going to be one of THOSE weeks for conservatives. Monday, February 23, 2004
Posted
5:16 PM
by Gene
CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGE quotes five Democrats and a Republican. BIAS? WHAT BIAS?!?!?
Posted
4:59 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:29 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:14 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:03 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:49 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:22 AM
by Gene
GLORY TO SADOMASOCHISM!!!!! The real damage will not, I think, be in the realm of Jewish-Christian relations, at least not in this country. Anti-Semites donāt need an excuse to be anti-Semites. The damage will be to those who come to believe that Gibsonās crimson tide, with its jacked-up excruciations, is synonymous with true religious feeling. But "Dr." Dobson! GORY IS GLORY!!!!!
Posted
9:16 AM
by Gene
(Romenesko link) I'd give USA Okay a hundred-donkey rating -- beause it's full of ASSES.
Posted
9:13 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:08 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:29 AM
by Gene
Sorry, if someone said that of me, I might be a little angry too. For one thing, if you're going to make fun of me, at least be funny.
Posted
8:26 AM
by Gene
If you hadn't become like the fans (and producers, and writers, and actors) first: mentally -- challenged. Sunday, February 22, 2004
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6:53 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:40 PM
by Gene
And since there's been a slight tiff these last few days about attributing links, I will confess I use ArtsJournal.com and IWant Media.com a lot. But then PROF uses Buzz T. Newhouse and Mr. Bleat a lot, and Buzz uses his dear friend HOWARD STERN a lot. (And worse, there are no links. Buzz! I'll say it again: Give that guy a blog!)
Posted
6:33 PM
by Gene
Wanna bet GE Bancorp Network looks a little stupid?
Posted
6:21 PM
by Gene
It is NECESSARY to ASK this question? And the joke is, David "Weenie" Shaw thinks parents can control their kids' use of media. Good luck, guy. OR: "I'm not a Christian right-winger. I'm a progressive. I teach civil rights and civil liberties at Stanford." Translation: I've got my finger in the dike, and I'm twenty feet under.
Posted
12:57 PM
by Gene
Posted
12:54 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:12 AM
by Gene
Of the people, not terrorists.
Posted
10:09 AM
by Gene
Shrewdly, BLUNDER's PR hacks don't say how much he's worth. THAT might be a downer too. P. S. Don't quit your day job (BLUNDER hacks excepted).
Posted
9:56 AM
by Gene
OR: "ITāS HIS PERSONAL VANITY BECAUSE HE HAS NO MOVEMENT!!!!! NOBODYāS BACKING HIM!!!!!" Translation: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
9:54 AM
by Gene
-- Dr. James "Gory is Glory" Dobson.
Posted
9:49 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:39 AM
by Gene
George "MY BUSINESS IS MY BUSINESS, GOT IT?!?!?" Will finally comes up with a good idea! Saturday, February 21, 2004
Posted
9:45 PM
by Gene
My prediction: he runs. Let's see if I can go two-for-two. Only this one's much easier.
Posted
9:29 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:24 PM
by Gene
I am getting sick and tired of hearing about this stunt, but the M.O. of modern public relations (and NEWS HACKERY) is TOTAL SUBJUGATION AT ANY COST. P. S. EisnerCorp calls these bozos "renowned," perhaps thinking there might be some doubt -- especially after the conflict-of-interest stink.
Posted
8:17 PM
by Gene
On second thought, no. That's insulting the memory of a great lady.
Posted
6:54 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:14 PM
by Gene
JOHN A. BYRNE DID.
Posted
6:07 PM
by Gene
I'm beginning to wonder if P. R. MEL'S masterpiece is a Hollywood plot to destroy the Christian movement.
Posted
6:04 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:55 PM
by Gene
Make that a man of CHARACTERS, I'd bet.
Posted
3:52 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:49 PM
by Gene
And lest we forget, NewsMax is full of it too.
Posted
3:45 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:42 PM
by Gene
I can believe someone would try to murder him. On the other hand, I can believe he would try to murder somebody -- by the ones or twos, or the thousands. And that "80" isn't cause for hope either. Look at the Ayatollah Khomeini, or Fidel Castro.
Posted
3:40 PM
by Gene
I'm all for civil war -- so long as both sides lose.
Posted
3:36 PM
by Gene
Oh, and the outfit that was trying to sell to me? The Philadelphia Inquirer. I would not want to guess how many bawdy satirical pieces Knight Ridder dishrags have run about the depredations of telemarketers. Nonetheless, as the employers of NEWS HACKS demonstrate yet again, they're not afraid to be hypocrites. Friday, February 20, 2004
Posted
5:26 PM
by Gene
Let's see PRESIDENT DIPPITY-DO appoint some judges.
Posted
5:17 PM
by Gene
CONSERVATIVES Poised to Win Disputed Iran Election You know what I mean?
Posted
5:12 PM
by Gene
Hey that blase irony gag of yours is getting to be a little long in the tooth also.
Posted
5:05 PM
by Gene
This process is good for the broader economy in the long run, he said, helping to raise standards of living.... Has Al been running the Fed too long?
Posted
1:57 PM
by Gene
P. R. MEL WANTS IT BOTH WAYS. AND HE'LL GET IT FROM NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
12:10 PM
by Gene
You already campaigned. YOU LOST.
Posted
8:33 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:55 AM
by Gene
They do have one common attribute: an ability to part fools from their money. Thursday, February 19, 2004
Posted
5:59 PM
by Gene
Somewhere, ol' Johnny's laughing.
Posted
5:53 PM
by Gene
I don't want abortions, but I don't want judges making our law, in abortions, gay marriage or anything else. Let the people decide -- and given the wealth of scientific argument for life, they will vote against abortions of convenience.
Posted
5:48 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:37 PM
by Gene
For every successful one of the scores of "Seinfeld"-esque attempts to coin phrases ("manthrax," for a toxic guy; "modelizer," for a serial dater of models), there were, seemingly, hundreds of really bad puns, back-of-Reader's-Digest material presented as clever (Carrie to Big: "If you're tired, you take a nap-a, you don't move to Napa"). For all the saving grace of Parker, who can go from pratfall to emotional devastation in a New York minute, and for all the less sparkly, more subtle talents of Nixon and Davis, there was Cattrall's Samantha. The problem was the actress' inability to truly inhabit her character, a disservice to the idea of a sexually aggressive woman; against three relatively realistic counterparts, Cattrall, with her fakey-fake voice and slapstick bedroom contortions, forever seemed to be playing a caricature rather than a person. And every time the series seemed to welcome you by approaching some universal truth about dating (Carrie discovering she has become so jaded about love that when then-new guy Aidan won't sleep with her right away, it never enters her mind that he's being romantic), it pushed you away with its insularity, shocking even by the usual standards of New York celebrants. This is not only a show that kept insisting - desperately, really - on the greatness of New York, it's a show that, in the trademark Woody Allen manner, stripped the city of that greatness by taking away minorities, the outer boroughs, people who consider tossing a few hundred dollars at a pair of designer shoes stupid or, worse, unaffordable. Instead we got Carrie, at the end of Season Four, season four, happily telling viewers about transvestite hookers: "Don't worry, they have a very lovely, happy life." Of course they do. Hooking is like that. AND SO IS NEWSPAPERING.
Posted
5:26 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:21 PM
by Gene
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5:11 PM
by Gene
P. S. These professors took money from a big company to do their study, so they're DEFINITELY NOT raging liberals. "The global leader in distribution facilities and services," ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Sorry DAVID HOROWITZ!!!!!!!!!!!!, not EVERYTHING in ACADEME is ANGELA DAVIS.
Posted
5:06 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:58 PM
by Gene
Look out behind you, God; I see others coming, and some make MOVIES.
Posted
4:56 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:24 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:26 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:21 AM
by Gene
Yet.
Posted
8:19 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:35 AM
by Gene
Where would we be without you, PROF?
Posted
6:26 AM
by Gene
As I've said before, the idiots of higher learning can't see the forest of corruption for the trees of "insensitive" remarks. Wednesday, February 18, 2004
Posted
5:47 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:42 PM
by Gene
Score ONE for bureaucracy.
Posted
5:35 PM
by Gene
No, NO, I must restrain myself. I'll let loose a PRIMAL SCREAM of my own if I don't control myself. No! It's impossible! Unlike Bob LaFollette or John McCain, Howard Dean.... ...went YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Although Johnny boy has come close on occasion. So did Bob LaFollette.
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
Where will we seek the fresh, clean smell of new-mown AstroTurf?
Posted
5:27 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:09 PM
by Gene
OR: COMPARING PRESIDENT BUSH WITH HIS FATHER, GEORGE H.W. BUSH AND FORMER PRESIDENT RICHARD M. NIXON, THE STATEMENT WARNED THAT HAD THESE FORMER PRESIDENTS SIMILARLY DISMISSED SCIENCE IN FAVOR OF POLITICAL ENDS, OVER 200,000 DEATHS AND MILLIONS OF RESPIRATORY AND CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE CASES WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN PREVENTED WITH THE SIGNING OF THE ORIGINAL CLEAN AIR ACT AND THE 1990 AMENDMENTS TO THAT ACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! POLITICAL? Nah.
Posted
3:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:15 PM
by Gene
I've said it before: junk the Jalopy and think up something else.
Posted
12:34 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:20 AM
by Gene
If we MUST have a World Court, THIS is what it MUST exist for.
Posted
10:11 AM
by Gene
Is this guy punch-drunk?
Posted
10:05 AM
by Gene
What's going on here? CALLING LARRY KUDLOW! CALLING BOB SAMUELSON!!
Posted
10:00 AM
by Gene
Ommmmmmmmmmmm, he would.
Posted
9:52 AM
by Gene
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHH!!!!!
Posted
6:59 AM
by Gene
It didn't work before; it won't work NOW.
Posted
6:22 AM
by Gene
I think we know the answer: higher rates (to pay for the deal), worse service (as the "infrastructure" gets neglected and customer service moves to Madagascar) -- and a lower price for those unlucky enough to own stock in it. Tuesday, February 17, 2004
Posted
6:30 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:05 PM
by Gene
Posted
6:00 PM
by Gene
Alas, it's too easy to make up stories about the CIA, but then the CIA counters by making up stories of its own.
Posted
5:58 PM
by Gene
Few Americans see caskets come home For one thing, that's because few Americans have died in the war, MORONS.
Posted
5:39 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:31 PM
by Gene
With that kind of money we're talking electronic chads.
Posted
5:26 PM
by Gene
And it's made in Meh-HEE-co, figures. Home of the soccer fans who cheered our athletes.
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
"Fears are that September 11 could be repeated." You? FEAR?!?!?
Posted
5:20 PM
by Gene
Here's another big chunk of biz the ROBBER-BARON ROBERTSES can look forward to.
Posted
5:17 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:10 PM
by Gene
ABANDON SHIP!
Posted
5:06 PM
by Gene
Translation: You get what you pay for. And HOWARD STERN is "most depressed" -- because his TWX shares could be worthless TOO. FAT CHANCE.
Posted
5:04 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:19 PM
by Gene
WHY?!?!?
Posted
1:15 PM
by Gene
Who wants to bet the ROBBER BARONS DROP THEIR DEAL? Monday, February 16, 2004
Posted
6:03 PM
by Gene
BILL SAFIRE IS NOT A CONSERVATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How are the media covering their contraction? (I still construe the word "media" as plural in hopes that McCain will get off his duff and Bush will awaken.) Much of the coverage is "gee-whiz, which personality will be top dog, which investors will profit and which giant will go bust?" Thank you AGAIN, KEN FELATTA.
Posted
5:59 PM
by Gene
![]() No no NO Mick, you're SUPPOSED to DRAW MICKEYMOUSE NIXON. This came from PRAVDA's site, figures.
Posted
5:57 PM
by Gene
And guess who the ventriloquist's DUMMIES are.
Posted
5:55 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:47 PM
by Gene
Enough of the governor's primal yells for today.
Posted
5:43 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:36 PM
by Gene
There must be something behind it, there must ALWAYS be something behind it. Of course there was nothing behind Legacy and HIS pardons, because he was a liberal Democrat.
Posted
2:35 PM
by Gene
Who says it'll stay at $40?
Posted
2:31 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:17 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:12 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:08 PM
by Gene
Posted
10:06 AM
by Gene
I don't think America's delis have reason for concern.
Posted
9:51 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:46 AM
by Gene
You're making us dizzzzzzzzzzzzy, No-Spin! Sunday, February 15, 2004
Posted
4:12 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:58 PM
by Gene
To their credit, college conservatives have a sense of humor -- something that CANNOT be said of college liberals.
Posted
1:31 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:20 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:10 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:02 PM
by Gene
We love you too guys! Next stop -- 1600!!!!!
Posted
11:42 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:30 AM
by Gene
![]() You wonder if they thought of it last year. Oh, and UK singles sales were down by a third last year. GOOD.
Posted
11:27 AM
by Gene
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club have been forced to cancel the remaining dates of their UK & Ireland tour after guitarist Peter Hayes broke his thumb. P. S. He was drunk when breaking it.
Posted
11:23 AM
by Gene
YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH??????????
Posted
11:20 AM
by Gene
TRANSLATION: This is just an action movie with Bible verses. Ya think all those Bible Belt yahoos -- I mean, moviegoers will appreciate this? There's something churning in P. R. MEL, and it's not pleasant.
Posted
11:13 AM
by Gene
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