THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
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Sunday, February 29, 2004
And while the TARZANS declare P. R. MEL the THIRD COMING OF CHRIST, and themselves without the slightest doubt that HE'S GONNA LIVE FOREVER, pastors around America confess their humility, and seek forgiveness for the collective sin arising from the buggery of their peers.
John Leo has come close to a reasonable discussion of P. R. MEL from "our side" without the tub-thumping and chest-baring (though he too indulges in that canard about the liberals). But for every such piece approaching reasonableness are a thousand TARZAN YELLS, and some conservatives' reps may never recover.
This story in tomorrow's Quack Healing Monitor is pure cut-and-paste, something Google's computers could assemble. Is it entirely impossible to write on this overdiscussed subject without resorting to cliches (election year Congress posturing blahblahblah) and quoting "experts"? Can't ANYBODY in this business THINK?
I've changed the title of my blog -- slightly, thinking maybe I can attract an extra hit a month that way.
[I]t's very easy to argue with someone else's ideas; it's very hard to argue with a Buick.
And it's impossible to argue with any six- or seven-digit news hack in whom resides all wisdom.
And it's impossible to argue with any six- or seven-digit news hack in whom resides all wisdom.
Last year "everyone" talked about a "renaissance" for the movie musical. Today no one talks about it. Here's more proof our culture can produce things that don't leave a trace.
When you have an onerous tax, don't cut it, STUDY IT. Here in Philly we have a wage tax that will never go away, and in LALALAND they have a business tax. In a nation where right is right (and left is wrong) and left is right (and right is wrong) no one can agree on even fundamentals, and a fundamental is some taxes should be put out in a big field and blown up. "Studied to death" indeed.
A black congresswoman makes a racist remark and the news hacks don't notice. This and the P. R. MEL claptrap from conservatives tell me political intransigence is more firmly embedded in our superiors than ever, and that truth is increasingly a fiction.
And speaking of fiction, MR. SCIENCE FICTION (whoops! Mr. SPECULATIVE Fiction; the sci-fiers get a little antsy about being called HACKS) trots out the four-day-old conservative canard that the libs are HYPOCRITES for hating P. R. MEL's MASTERPIECE. I agree: the same ad-blurb copywriters gushed orgasmic over Pulp Fiction. But hypocrisy cuts both ways: P. R. MEL's most strident defenders screamed their heads off over MS. BOOB. A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES.
And speaking of fiction, MR. SCIENCE FICTION (whoops! Mr. SPECULATIVE Fiction; the sci-fiers get a little antsy about being called HACKS) trots out the four-day-old conservative canard that the libs are HYPOCRITES for hating P. R. MEL's MASTERPIECE. I agree: the same ad-blurb copywriters gushed orgasmic over Pulp Fiction. But hypocrisy cuts both ways: P. R. MEL's most strident defenders screamed their heads off over MS. BOOB. A PLAGUE O' BOTH YOUR HOUSES.
Translation to this press release: Lots of corporate executives will spend the next two months yelling, "I RUBBED ELBOWS WITH LOTS OF BIG STARS AND YOU DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!", the companies involved take duplicitous tax breaks (one of the sponsors was Coke), and the "charitable" donations get wasted.
Bill the Entomologist has two ways of making your surfing experience FUN:
1. He prevents you from scrolling for about twenty seconds, and when you try, you get a bar-code effect on the screen; OR
2. He prevents you from scrolling for about thirty seconds, and when you try, the screen divides horizontally two hundred ways, and when you move the cursor over the scroll bar it divvies up further.
WHAT HATH BILL -- er, GOD WROUGHT?
1. He prevents you from scrolling for about twenty seconds, and when you try, you get a bar-code effect on the screen; OR
2. He prevents you from scrolling for about thirty seconds, and when you try, the screen divides horizontally two hundred ways, and when you move the cursor over the scroll bar it divvies up further.
WHAT HATH BILL -- er, GOD WROUGHT?
This week it's STROKES, perhaps as a form of corporate apology.
If it's ANY consolation, MARK, MRS. SLUT's going on a tour. Now if we could get her and MS. BOOB together you'd REALLY have a cover story.
If it's ANY consolation, MARK, MRS. SLUT's going on a tour. Now if we could get her and MS. BOOB together you'd REALLY have a cover story.
One banana-republican gives way (presumably) for another.
The pitiful Haitians stand to be poor and ruled by despots forever, unless someone discovers some magical element we don't know about, or unless American business exports enough jobs there.
The pitiful Haitians stand to be poor and ruled by despots forever, unless someone discovers some magical element we don't know about, or unless American business exports enough jobs there.
Saturday, February 28, 2004
To the three people who pay attention to me: I'm thinking of changing the site's appearance (i.e., the template). Maybe I can get four hits a day that way. Stay tuned.
An emergency drive to immunize millions of Africans against polio ended with "mixed results" in Nigeria's heavily Muslim north, where many families heeded some Islamic leaders' claims that the vaccine was part of a U.S. plot to render them sterile, U.N. officials said Friday.
Here, Michael Novak and company, is a DOWNSIDE of religious fundamentalism.
Here, Michael Novak and company, is a DOWNSIDE of religious fundamentalism.
I am getting sooooooooo tired of this story, but we'll quote from Howie as CHEAP CHANNEL is not to be trusted -- just like VIACON:
"Clear Channel has tons of Rap stations, and I'm sure the word nigger is used on those," he said in reference to the content CC cited in dumping him. "And that's not even a word considered objectionable by the FCC, but I still hung up on the dude because he said the N word."
Of course it is, and of course CHEAP CHANNEL doesn't know its rear end from a hole in the ground -- except in selling ads, which is ITS ONLY BUSINESS.
"Clear Channel has tons of Rap stations, and I'm sure the word nigger is used on those," he said in reference to the content CC cited in dumping him. "And that's not even a word considered objectionable by the FCC, but I still hung up on the dude because he said the N word."
Of course it is, and of course CHEAP CHANNEL doesn't know its rear end from a hole in the ground -- except in selling ads, which is ITS ONLY BUSINESS.
I'm thinking what a second Civil War would be like. We already know the combatants: two sides with a monopoly on truth and the total absence of humility. I can see the control rooms now: here's Michael Moore, five hundred wires sticking out from a surgically-exploded skull, barking commands to Joe Conason, who has six surgically-attached cell phones sticking from his ears and gives orders to every media operation to tell the world, "This is a war for tolerance -- and anyone who believes otherwise should be shot!" HWWWALTER CRRRONKHITE's visage glares from every TV, Goldstein-like, bellowing, "MY COUNTRY RIGHT OR WRONG -- and NEVER RIGHT!" There's WALTER WINCHELL, living alone in a 200-room mansion that's a cross between a falling-down Catholic church and San Quentin, wearing a high-tech surgically-attached fedora, barking orders by e-mail to Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson, both residing in cryonic chambers one next to the other, who stir only when arguing who had the bigger bank account and when yelling at the world, "This is a war about Jesus Christ -- and anyone who won't accept Him is eternally damned and will go to HELL!" Each side has its stooges: the former (besides the media) has the Democratic Party and academe, who weekly stir up huge rallies likening their enemies to Hitler, accusing them of anti-Semitism while themselves fomenting it overseas; the latter has the GOP, with thousands of lobbyists hitting up big business for the money to fight the war. It also has the military, the GOP owning a monopoly on the flag, having passed laws making it illegal for a Democrat to fly one. In the end, the RIGHT has the nukes, the LEFT has the words, and the country commits suicide.
Of course this is an idiotic fantasy. But we've come to the precipice too many times since the first Civil War. Twice in our history communists scampered under our beds, leading to something approaching cold civil wars. In the early thirties America faced revolution over a 25% unemployment rate -- and it could have happened had FDR not escaped an assassination attempt. (Remember that?) We still have not quite uprighted ourselves morally from the social upheavals of the sixties. And for those who would cite indefinable inexorable forces, some have blamed the Civil War on a woman. And the murder of some silly archduke in a country that no one heard of led to most of the last century's catastrophes. Who's to say today's intolerant ninnies can't lead us to total destruction?
Of course this is an idiotic fantasy. But we've come to the precipice too many times since the first Civil War. Twice in our history communists scampered under our beds, leading to something approaching cold civil wars. In the early thirties America faced revolution over a 25% unemployment rate -- and it could have happened had FDR not escaped an assassination attempt. (Remember that?) We still have not quite uprighted ourselves morally from the social upheavals of the sixties. And for those who would cite indefinable inexorable forces, some have blamed the Civil War on a woman. And the murder of some silly archduke in a country that no one heard of led to most of the last century's catastrophes. Who's to say today's intolerant ninnies can't lead us to total destruction?
I don't want to complain, but I'm tired of writing for myself. I've been at this blog for going on fourteen months, averaging at least fifteen posts a day, and I can't get anybody to do anything but click on my catch-as-catch-can links on GoogleBlogger, read one word and then go elsewhere. Am I that bad? If I were some teenage airhead fantasizing about his (more likely her) sex life I could understand, but I'd think by now I'd have even the smallest audience. Please, don't just click and walk away, read me for a second, and at least pay me a little attention.
I don't like writing like this, but some days I get so bewildered and frustrated.
I don't like writing like this, but some days I get so bewildered and frustrated.
I subscribe to Model Railroader -- one of these days I'll talk about that peculiar, relaxing magazine -- so I know enough to know...
...that train shouldn't be smashing through a crossing, because crossing barriers are set up parallel to the tracks -- to prevent cars from getting through. With news hacks the little errors multiply until we get one great big error, or news hacks doing the everyday.
...that train shouldn't be smashing through a crossing, because crossing barriers are set up parallel to the tracks -- to prevent cars from getting through. With news hacks the little errors multiply until we get one great big error, or news hacks doing the everyday.
Terry Teachout quotes from himself -- I fear without any sense of irony:
Alas, they have always been with us, especially in wartime and most especially in America, far too many of whose well-meaning citizens are allergic to the exhilarating fizz of high art with a light touch. It seems not to occur to them that life is such an indissoluble mixture of heartbreak and absurdity that it might be more truly portrayed through the refracting lens of comedy. Instead, they prefer what Lord Byron, who knew a thing or two about both life and art, would have crisply dismissed as "sermons and soda-water."
Today Lord Byron might have termed it "sermons and hydrochloric acid." And Terry was one of the locksteppers because he works for the CONSERVATIVE half of America's most ideologically dishonest paper. I hope eventually he comes to his senses, and when he does, he may be embarrassed.
Alas, they have always been with us, especially in wartime and most especially in America, far too many of whose well-meaning citizens are allergic to the exhilarating fizz of high art with a light touch. It seems not to occur to them that life is such an indissoluble mixture of heartbreak and absurdity that it might be more truly portrayed through the refracting lens of comedy. Instead, they prefer what Lord Byron, who knew a thing or two about both life and art, would have crisply dismissed as "sermons and soda-water."
Today Lord Byron might have termed it "sermons and hydrochloric acid." And Terry was one of the locksteppers because he works for the CONSERVATIVE half of America's most ideologically dishonest paper. I hope eventually he comes to his senses, and when he does, he may be embarrassed.
"In the old days, movies didn't sweep because there were so many great movies out there, but now it seems there's only a handful each year."
So can we infer that CGI Tolkien's MASTERPIECE may be less-than-great? I think so. (We may also infer that when they put their names above the titles the ad-blurb copywriters are honesty-challenged.)
So can we infer that CGI Tolkien's MASTERPIECE may be less-than-great? I think so. (We may also infer that when they put their names above the titles the ad-blurb copywriters are honesty-challenged.)
I'm especially struck by how the conservative media, press and intellectual establishment has been, so far as I can tell, completely uniform in its positive response. Among the theocons and neocons, uou [SIC] are less likely to find a criticism of this movie than you are to find criticism of the president! Have I missed something? Has some brave neoconservative or any writer who gets his paycheck from the conservative media dared to criticize this movie? Or is the Popular Front intact?
I know the feeling, ANDY S. (Although in truth it has been criticized by the likes of James Bowman and Christopher Hitchens, whose sympathies lie more or less within the camp.) But on Tuesday I posted, "[T]omorrow the whole @#$%&* CONSERVATIVE WORLD will be deafening with Tarzans." I saw this coming before you, and I don't get ninety quintazillion hits. (I will admit, though, the one thing about getting three hits a day is that nobody can call you overrated.)
P. S. I still recall how R. EMMETT and The American Spectator, in a long-ago prelude to this five-act banshee scream, did a puff piece to end all puff pieces on the late, unlamented Morton Downey Jr., who came to admit his Rush-before-Rush routine was an act. And let us not forget only months ago CONSERVATIVES blasted anyone who criticized MR. MORALS for gambling -- because he was CONSERVATIVE. They've been working up to this lockstep gag for a long time, and I've lost a lot of respect for a lot of conservatives in the process.
I know the feeling, ANDY S. (Although in truth it has been criticized by the likes of James Bowman and Christopher Hitchens, whose sympathies lie more or less within the camp.) But on Tuesday I posted, "[T]omorrow the whole @#$%&* CONSERVATIVE WORLD will be deafening with Tarzans." I saw this coming before you, and I don't get ninety quintazillion hits. (I will admit, though, the one thing about getting three hits a day is that nobody can call you overrated.)
P. S. I still recall how R. EMMETT and The American Spectator, in a long-ago prelude to this five-act banshee scream, did a puff piece to end all puff pieces on the late, unlamented Morton Downey Jr., who came to admit his Rush-before-Rush routine was an act. And let us not forget only months ago CONSERVATIVES blasted anyone who criticized MR. MORALS for gambling -- because he was CONSERVATIVE. They've been working up to this lockstep gag for a long time, and I've lost a lot of respect for a lot of conservatives in the process.
Remember Martha Burk? The pill who protested at Augusta National -- with the late HOWELL at her side? Well, she's given up the good fight -- for now, but as we all know whom the Times be for GOD cannot be against. He doesn't have the power.
PUNKS SIEG HEIL FOR DEMOCRATS!
OR:
But conservative or liberal, celebrity-driven voter registration campaigns may not sway an election.
"By and large people don't vote because a celebrity tells you to vote," said Curtis Gans, director of the Committee for the Study of the American Electorate.
In spite of MTV's Rock the Vote campaign and other initiatives, only 29% of the 8.4 million people aged 18 to 24 cast a ballot for president in 2000. Turnout has been in decline since 43% of young people voted in 1972.
Translation: TAKE THAT RING OUT OF YOUR NOSE!
OR:
But conservative or liberal, celebrity-driven voter registration campaigns may not sway an election.
"By and large people don't vote because a celebrity tells you to vote," said Curtis Gans, director of the Committee for the Study of the American Electorate.
In spite of MTV's Rock the Vote campaign and other initiatives, only 29% of the 8.4 million people aged 18 to 24 cast a ballot for president in 2000. Turnout has been in decline since 43% of young people voted in 1972.
Translation: TAKE THAT RING OUT OF YOUR NOSE!
The Times has an excuse for Dippity-Do: COMPLEX.
Hey, JAYSON had a complex also.
OR:
What a photo. The Senator, self-important, with a self-important bulge in the cheek. The future Senator: an unregenerate SLOB, or maybe a lieutenant in HAITI. But the hair was great even then.
Hey, JAYSON had a complex also.
OR:
What a photo. The Senator, self-important, with a self-important bulge in the cheek. The future Senator: an unregenerate SLOB, or maybe a lieutenant in HAITI. But the hair was great even then.
The minute you walked in the joint...
Ovitz, according to the study by an independent accountant, spent more than $2 million to remodel his office. At one point, he and his decorator proposed changes to the woodwork. The tab: $150,000.
I could see you were a man of distinction...
It wasn't his only capital improvement. Disney also spent $48,305 on Ovitz's home screening room and $14,055 on his home office. To ensure that Ovitz motored in style, the company plunked down $99,135 to buy his BMW from his former employer.
A REAL BIG SPENDER...
Disney also spent nearly $80,000 on hundreds of gifts given by Ovitz to Hollywood players and others. Among the goodies: a $946 "firearm" for director Robert Zemeckis and a $200 cigar cutter for producer Al Ruddy.
HEY, BIG SPENDER!
Ovitz, according to the study by an independent accountant, spent more than $2 million to remodel his office. At one point, he and his decorator proposed changes to the woodwork. The tab: $150,000.
I could see you were a man of distinction...
It wasn't his only capital improvement. Disney also spent $48,305 on Ovitz's home screening room and $14,055 on his home office. To ensure that Ovitz motored in style, the company plunked down $99,135 to buy his BMW from his former employer.
A REAL BIG SPENDER...
Disney also spent nearly $80,000 on hundreds of gifts given by Ovitz to Hollywood players and others. Among the goodies: a $946 "firearm" for director Robert Zemeckis and a $200 cigar cutter for producer Al Ruddy.
HEY, BIG SPENDER!
It would be just like Dubya with his secrecy obsession to withhold news of Osama's capture for the election -- the fool Karl Rove probably suggested it -- but if he does DEMOCRATS and NEWS HACKS will be all over him; it wouldn't look any better than LEGACY's WAG-THE-DOG ATTACK of that aspirin factory. All this said, likely nobody knows where MR. EVIL is, and I doubt if people would say if they could.
Friday, February 27, 2004
If anyone out there reading my blog has one of his own, please, link to me. I'm tired of getting all my hits from GoogleBlogger's home page.
Here's one to send knee-jerk liberals into a tiz: the Justice Department is demanding Planned Parenthood's records. Of course we will hear about rights to this and rights to that until news hacks are blue in the face and black in the ledgers, but abortions are a profitable biz for Planned Parenthood, and its founder Margaret Sanger was a leading inspiration behind Hitler's all-singing all-dancing all-Aryan fantasies.
A year ago I puzzled as to why so many "found Martha Stewart the embodiment of evil." To be sure she's taken a beating in the interregnum, but it's clear one reason she was tried was for being famous, and while I thought the verdict could go either way (I didn't particularly care which) I'm not surprised she's been let off the hook on one big charge.
This is why we can't trust news hacks: How many die in Windy City homicides each year? 500? And some @#$%&* hack refers to that @#$%&* loss in the @#$%&* baseball playoffs as "a long national nightmare." Of course it is no national nightmare that lives are cheap in urban America, day after day after day. But then in NEWSHACKDOM up is down, right is wrong, and left is right.
Isn't it ironic that at the the same time Clear Channel kicks Howard Stern off their air, it sponsors a screening of Mel Gibson's Passion, a movie that is being condemned in many quarters for stirring up anti-Semitism[?]...[M]any of the same people who are flocking to the movie...are complaining about Stern.
Why can't you be this way ALL THE TIME, Buzz, rather than sporadically, like a flickering light bulb?
(Of course I've pointed out this contradiction HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE but I don't get twenty kazillion hits a day.)
Why can't you be this way ALL THE TIME, Buzz, rather than sporadically, like a flickering light bulb?
(Of course I've pointed out this contradiction HERE and HERE and HERE and HERE but I don't get twenty kazillion hits a day.)
A $60-million-a-year company (so BusinessWeek says) definitely does NOT qualify as a NO-SPIN ZONE.
THE HUMAN TOP probably hasn't written a word in years.
THE HUMAN TOP probably hasn't written a word in years.
Hope no one gets FIRED for this:
News executives at WTOP radio in Washington decided to yank the scheduled CBS news update at 8 a.m. because its earlier news report about the Stern controversy seemed designed to fuel interest in his show. "It seemed promotional more than newsworthy," said Mike McMearty, news director for WTOP. Additionally, as McMearty noted, the CBS story failed to point out its corporate ties to Infinity.
You can't trust VIACON down to its last preposition and conjunction.
News executives at WTOP radio in Washington decided to yank the scheduled CBS news update at 8 a.m. because its earlier news report about the Stern controversy seemed designed to fuel interest in his show. "It seemed promotional more than newsworthy," said Mike McMearty, news director for WTOP. Additionally, as McMearty noted, the CBS story failed to point out its corporate ties to Infinity.
You can't trust VIACON down to its last preposition and conjunction.
Not every FREEPER foams at the mouth:
He has no talent. Stern is a one joke kind of guy, and we have seen the joke.
You are not his audience. Thirteen and fourteen year old boys getting dressed in the morning before getting on the school bus are his audience.
They grow up into dysfunctional 18- through 24-year olds that leer at the equally screwed up females in their age bracket.
Both quite right.
He has no talent. Stern is a one joke kind of guy, and we have seen the joke.
You are not his audience. Thirteen and fourteen year old boys getting dressed in the morning before getting on the school bus are his audience.
They grow up into dysfunctional 18- through 24-year olds that leer at the equally screwed up females in their age bracket.
Both quite right.
Finally, the senseless California supermarket strike has ended. What did it achieve except suffering among the checkout clerks and anger among the customers?
The damfool blithering idiot greedmeister SLEAZEBALL GUMBO has ditched plans to take a zillion-dollar job lobbying for the drug biz. Now go into retirement, SLEAZEBALL, and oblivion, and spend the rest of your damfool life nursing your bleeding ulcer.
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Hey HOWIE! Aren't you getting a little OLD for ka-ka and wee-wee jokes? Without the funny dyed hair and glasses you'd look like a U. S. SENATOR. And if you wore your hair a natural color you'd look like AN OVERAGED FRUIT-AND-NUT HIPPIE.
I'd like to know the ratio of mentions of private parts to the mentions of SUMNER and ZONNNNNN on the HEROIC Howie's show. The number probably approaches Howie's salary.
Marchons, MARCHONS, etc., etc., etc.
Marchons, MARCHONS, etc., etc., etc.
Sen. Pander, that's a really good idea of yours, invading Haiti. Then we can help set up a banana republic without the bananas.
I think the Haitians are doing a pretty good job of it themselves, no thank you Sen. Pander.
I think the Haitians are doing a pretty good job of it themselves, no thank you Sen. Pander.
Andy Rooney: 'Passion' Good for a Few Laughs
But it's NOTHING compared to the COMEDY KINGS of NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But it's NOTHING compared to the COMEDY KINGS of NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
'Ashamed' Clear Channel chief apologizes to House
If you want to know the truth, we're ashamed too.
"True and lasting change will only be achieved if the broadcast community recommits to its public service roots and its tradition of abiding by community standards of decency."
I thought you thought "public service" was a fairy tale, GENERAL JR.!!!!!
"Some of this hand-wringing in public is from the very people who have brought us a rogue's gallery of shock jocks."
PRAISE GOD FOR MEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you want to know the truth, we're ashamed too.
"True and lasting change will only be achieved if the broadcast community recommits to its public service roots and its tradition of abiding by community standards of decency."
I thought you thought "public service" was a fairy tale, GENERAL JR.!!!!!
"Some of this hand-wringing in public is from the very people who have brought us a rogue's gallery of shock jocks."
PRAISE GOD FOR MEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
With her rag and Taboo and now this, Rosie O'Donnell is trying to prove you can be a total ass and not pay for it.
She's paid for it.
She's paid for it.
WELL, WELL:
From all the talk, you'd expect that the entire country watched the Sunday finale of "Sex and the City."
Actually more people watched Monday's regularly scheduled episode of the far-less-buzzed about "Yes Dear" on CBS. And, surprise, shows like "Sex," for all the critical buzz they're getting, aren't sending viewers running to subscribe to HBO.
The pay cable network has in fact been stuck in a year-long subscriber lull thatās holding even at about 27.2 million, according to Kagan Worldwide.
The article claims the outfit's making big money on DVDs -- and shady internecine deals:
"Sex" will debut on TBS in September 2005 after the network agreed to a reported $500,000-plus per episode fee.
Translation: One set of TWXSTERS sends "money" to another set of TWXSTERS. In short, IT'S A ZERO-SUM GAME. No wonder TWX Internet Service has a rep. No wonder Pennsylvania's suing the TWXSTERS. This is blatant fraud aimed at shareholders.
From all the talk, you'd expect that the entire country watched the Sunday finale of "Sex and the City."
Actually more people watched Monday's regularly scheduled episode of the far-less-buzzed about "Yes Dear" on CBS. And, surprise, shows like "Sex," for all the critical buzz they're getting, aren't sending viewers running to subscribe to HBO.
The pay cable network has in fact been stuck in a year-long subscriber lull thatās holding even at about 27.2 million, according to Kagan Worldwide.
The article claims the outfit's making big money on DVDs -- and shady internecine deals:
"Sex" will debut on TBS in September 2005 after the network agreed to a reported $500,000-plus per episode fee.
Translation: One set of TWXSTERS sends "money" to another set of TWXSTERS. In short, IT'S A ZERO-SUM GAME. No wonder TWX Internet Service has a rep. No wonder Pennsylvania's suing the TWXSTERS. This is blatant fraud aimed at shareholders.
Not only did the FUMBLERS, BUMBLERS AND INCOMPETENTS help OSAMA launch 9/11 with its PC indifference, a few of its agents TOOK SOUVENIRS FROM GROUND ZERO!!!!!
One thing's clear: NO ONE WILL EVER BE FIRED.
One thing's clear: NO ONE WILL EVER BE FIRED.
CALPERS dumps on MICKEYMOUSE NIXON!
The Reign of Terror may slowly be coming to an end. One problem: if the ROBBER-BARON ROBERTSES win, we'll have a Reign of Error.
The Reign of Terror may slowly be coming to an end. One problem: if the ROBBER-BARON ROBERTSES win, we'll have a Reign of Error.
VIACON shows its TRUE SIDE. We cannot trust anything these bozos say, down to the last preposition and conjunction.
This is why the hero of the century was banished, BUZZ.
This is why the hero of the century was banished, BUZZ.
Even as conservatives everywhere suffer a holy nervous breakdown, DEM CUBBIES FANS think that by DESTROYING A BASEBALL, they'll LIFT A CURSE.
I guess one could be cutesy pie and say awwwwww, isn't that sweet, but these fool fans really believe in voodoo. So much for castor oil.
I guess one could be cutesy pie and say awwwwww, isn't that sweet, but these fool fans really believe in voodoo. So much for castor oil.
Northeast University has called off a rap "concert" because some of its students rioted after the SUPER UNBORE?
I thought college was about entertainment!
I thought college was about entertainment!
Oh, NO!!!!! BUZZ T. NEWHOUSE'S GHOST WRITER HOWARD STERN HAS BEEN SUSPENDED BY CHEAP CHANNEL!!!!!!!!!!
THIS IS WAR!!!!!!!!!!
I suppose the easiest thing is to say that Howie will cry all the way to the bank, but I'm not sure. Opie and Anthony haven't come back, and Congress has since declared war on broadcasters. And before you say SATELLITE, BUZZ, imagine the HUGE audience. And people will want to pay $10 a month for ka-ka and wee-wee jokes? I don't think so.
THIS IS WAR!!!!!!!!!!
I suppose the easiest thing is to say that Howie will cry all the way to the bank, but I'm not sure. Opie and Anthony haven't come back, and Congress has since declared war on broadcasters. And before you say SATELLITE, BUZZ, imagine the HUGE audience. And people will want to pay $10 a month for ka-ka and wee-wee jokes? I don't think so.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
Shucks, the Nine Fingers in the Wind are still heathens.
I believe in God (though I must confess I haven't been inside a church since my days in a college choir); but I also believe religion is an intensely private matter. I think of the story of how CBS's "legendary" co-founder Bill Paley (remember him?) tried to keep Groucho Marx and You Bet Your Life in his stable. The two huddled in the bathroom at Gummo Marx' house and Paley said, "We Jews should stick together. You can't afford to go to NBC." It was a spectacularly lame-brained remark; NBC was owned by RCA, which was run by a Jew, the "legendary" "Gen." David Sarnoff. (Remember him?) And it was a cheap appeal to Jewish "clannishness," deeply offending the Grouch, who was a free thinker if ever there was one. He went to NBC; the rest is broadcast history.
Religion has its good side, its very good side, in the untold millions who find peace through it. It has its bad side, its very bad side, in the Crusades and the Troubles and the Middle East and 9/11. I'm all for preaching the word, but you'd better be sure who's doing the preaching: William Penn (one of the truly great men of history), or a movie ass. And if it's a movie ass, you'd better be sure he's not picking your pockets. And that sin dates from at least the Bible.
P. S. Anyone following my blog (that's a laugh!) may think I'm turning liberal (that's a laugh too). My leanings are inherently conservative; I am pro-life, anti-PC, and supported our wars in Iraq and Afghanistan with equal fervor. But I also believe the Biblical injunction that "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God," and I don't think there's a politico alive who's managed to pass a bill to ban sin yet, nor a news hack who could will it away with his scribbling. And forgive me, but I am suspicious of a religious pleading that comes from Hollywood, where believers in Ron outnumber believers in God, and that is embraced by a political movement that lived a good stretch of its life endorsing the tenets of anti-Semitism.
I believe in God (though I must confess I haven't been inside a church since my days in a college choir); but I also believe religion is an intensely private matter. I think of the story of how CBS's "legendary" co-founder Bill Paley (remember him?) tried to keep Groucho Marx and You Bet Your Life in his stable. The two huddled in the bathroom at Gummo Marx' house and Paley said, "We Jews should stick together. You can't afford to go to NBC." It was a spectacularly lame-brained remark; NBC was owned by RCA, which was run by a Jew, the "legendary" "Gen." David Sarnoff. (Remember him?) And it was a cheap appeal to Jewish "clannishness," deeply offending the Grouch, who was a free thinker if ever there was one. He went to NBC; the rest is broadcast history.
Religion has its good side, its very good side, in the untold millions who find peace through it. It has its bad side, its very bad side, in the Crusades and the Troubles and the Middle East and 9/11. I'm all for preaching the word, but you'd better be sure who's doing the preaching: William Penn (one of the truly great men of history), or a movie ass. And if it's a movie ass, you'd better be sure he's not picking your pockets. And that sin dates from at least the Bible.
P. S. Anyone following my blog (that's a laugh!) may think I'm turning liberal (that's a laugh too). My leanings are inherently conservative; I am pro-life, anti-PC, and supported our wars in Iraq and Afghanistan with equal fervor. But I also believe the Biblical injunction that "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God," and I don't think there's a politico alive who's managed to pass a bill to ban sin yet, nor a news hack who could will it away with his scribbling. And forgive me, but I am suspicious of a religious pleading that comes from Hollywood, where believers in Ron outnumber believers in God, and that is embraced by a political movement that lived a good stretch of its life endorsing the tenets of anti-Semitism.
JOKE OF THE WEEK:
It is increasingly likely that Comcast Corp. will have to add cash to its bid for Walt Disney Co., says Jessica Reif Cohen, an analyst at Merrill Lynch & Co....
Merrill has a banking relationship with Comcast and Disney. One or more of the Merrill analysts covering Comcast owns shares of the company.
HARDY HAR HAR!!!!!
It is increasingly likely that Comcast Corp. will have to add cash to its bid for Walt Disney Co., says Jessica Reif Cohen, an analyst at Merrill Lynch & Co....
Merrill has a banking relationship with Comcast and Disney. One or more of the Merrill analysts covering Comcast owns shares of the company.
HARDY HAR HAR!!!!!
Another one of those Forbes.com Quotes of the Day:
"I have no fear of photography as long as it cannot be used in heaven or hell."
-Edvard Munch
He didn't know Hollywood.
"I have no fear of photography as long as it cannot be used in heaven or hell."
-Edvard Munch
He didn't know Hollywood.
DOW JONES WENT ON STRIKE!
What does THIS say about FREE ENTERPRISE?
By the way, did the JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION's people SCAB?
What does THIS say about FREE ENTERPRISE?
By the way, did the JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION's people SCAB?
THE HUMAN TOP PLAGIARIZES!!!!! (Second item.)
Just so long as it's for a GOOD CAUSE, MR. NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE.
Just so long as it's for a GOOD CAUSE, MR. NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE.
Now it's advertising and obesity. The LARRY KUDLOWs and BUTTMAN-INSTITUTE TYPES are doubled over in laughter: but if this past week's demonstrated anything it's that CONSERVATIVES can twist a mean ideological pretzel too, and as they've already said that certain kinds of bad media exposure are good we can expect the pretzel dough to twist even tighter.
"FREEP THIS POLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
SHUT UP, NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SHUT UP, NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OOOOOOOOooooooh, THE WIZARD OF AL's going after the GEEZERS!
How can he talk of cutting SocSec benefits when we're giving the store away on prescription drugs? Make up your minds, somebody!
How can he talk of cutting SocSec benefits when we're giving the store away on prescription drugs? Make up your minds, somebody!
Perhaps, as we get puffed up over matters that won't matter next year (or next month), we should seek peace of mind through the likes of our nation's most eloquent poet, Emily Dickinson. In an age so disrespectful of art and beauty we can do worse than to turn to her diamond-radiant, diamond-permanent verses and reflect, why can't our age do this? It only turns out masterpieces.
I wonder if Republicans will conveniently forget all their "states-rights" blather when considering Dubya's amendment. At least the tantrum throwin' Sen. Craig realizes you don't amend the Constitution every day. But as I said, we're between the rock and the rockheads here.
First God created pepper-jack cheese, hard pretzels, and beer. And he said, "These are good." But God decided that others should appreciate his creations so he created the universe and then Earth and man and the light with which man could eventually see the pepper-jack cheese and beer. Later man discovered fireā¦.animal husbandryā¦.then came the Peloponnesian Warsā¦.crop rotationā¦.dwarf tossingā¦.and National Reviewā¦.
Let's skip aheadā¦
This is an odd bio from a man who just went into meltdown.
By the way, Jonah, AREN'T GOD'S PRONOUNS CAPITALIZED?!?!?!?!? OR AREN'T WE TALKING ABOUT JESUS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Let's skip aheadā¦
This is an odd bio from a man who just went into meltdown.
By the way, Jonah, AREN'T GOD'S PRONOUNS CAPITALIZED?!?!?!?!? OR AREN'T WE TALKING ABOUT JESUS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
The Michelin guide, that bible of food-and-wine snobs, is apparently not quite as honest as it's cooked up to be (pun sort-of intended).
I'm shocked! SHOCKED! Just like movie-ad-blurb copywriters. I'll never live it down.
I'm shocked! SHOCKED! Just like movie-ad-blurb copywriters. I'll never live it down.
EIGHTY-NINE YEARS AGO:
When Griffith released [The Birth of a Nation] in 1915, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (or NAACP) and other groups protested; the NAACP published a 47-page pamphlet titled "Fighting a Vicious Film: Protest Against The Birth of a Nation," in which they referred to the film as "three miles of filth." W. E. B. Du Bois published scathing reviews in The Crisis, spurring a heated debate among the National Board of Censorship of Motion Pictures as to whether the film should be shown in New York. However, President and former history professor Woodrow Wilson viewed the film at the White House and proclaimed it not only historically accurate, but like "history writ with lightning." Like Woodrow Wilson, many whites felt it a truthful and accurate portrayal of racial politics, so much so that they flocked to join the rejuvenated Ku Klux Klan. [Emphasis added.] The years after Griffith released The Birth of a Nation saw massive race riots throughout the country, peaking especially in the North in 1919; many historians lay the blame for this racial conflict on Griffith's The Birth of a Nation.
Think to yourself: how many people these days talk about The Birth of a Nation?
P. S. I am not among those who believe David Wark Griffith should be expunged from film history; after all, he invented film's grammar, syntax, and most of its words. But his actions led to racial violence, and though I doubt anything approaching a rejuvenated KKK will happen again, given people are just so tired of reliving history (and those praising and opposing P. R. MEL's MASTERWORK are mostly full of their own importance; NRO, for instance, is in total meltdown), films, like words, can have consequences. But how wearying it is to know today's acme of controversy is tomorrow's relic.
When Griffith released [The Birth of a Nation] in 1915, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (or NAACP) and other groups protested; the NAACP published a 47-page pamphlet titled "Fighting a Vicious Film: Protest Against The Birth of a Nation," in which they referred to the film as "three miles of filth." W. E. B. Du Bois published scathing reviews in The Crisis, spurring a heated debate among the National Board of Censorship of Motion Pictures as to whether the film should be shown in New York. However, President and former history professor Woodrow Wilson viewed the film at the White House and proclaimed it not only historically accurate, but like "history writ with lightning." Like Woodrow Wilson, many whites felt it a truthful and accurate portrayal of racial politics, so much so that they flocked to join the rejuvenated Ku Klux Klan. [Emphasis added.] The years after Griffith released The Birth of a Nation saw massive race riots throughout the country, peaking especially in the North in 1919; many historians lay the blame for this racial conflict on Griffith's The Birth of a Nation.
Think to yourself: how many people these days talk about The Birth of a Nation?
P. S. I am not among those who believe David Wark Griffith should be expunged from film history; after all, he invented film's grammar, syntax, and most of its words. But his actions led to racial violence, and though I doubt anything approaching a rejuvenated KKK will happen again, given people are just so tired of reliving history (and those praising and opposing P. R. MEL's MASTERWORK are mostly full of their own importance; NRO, for instance, is in total meltdown), films, like words, can have consequences. But how wearying it is to know today's acme of controversy is tomorrow's relic.
A Move to Satisfy Conservative Base
Translation: HE'S LOSING THE ELECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meantime PROF devotes the usual eight or nine thousand words to the story and discovers there's a thing called POLITICS. GASP! How this must corrode someone so PURE of HEART!
Translation: HE'S LOSING THE ELECTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meantime PROF devotes the usual eight or nine thousand words to the story and discovers there's a thing called POLITICS. GASP! How this must corrode someone so PURE of HEART!
LETTER OF THE DAY:
I recall, but cannot identify, a conversation between two actors who mentioned Sarah Jessica Parker's tube top as perhaps the smallest garment ever made. If you want to see Mrs. Parker-Broderick acting in a manner consistent with her dubious attributes and talents, you need look no farther than Tim Burton's Mars Attacks! wherein she plays a vacuous television reporter whose head is transplanted onto her Chihuahua's body and she falls in love with Pierce Brosnan's disembodied head.
-- Bob Johnson
Bedford, TX
I recall, but cannot identify, a conversation between two actors who mentioned Sarah Jessica Parker's tube top as perhaps the smallest garment ever made. If you want to see Mrs. Parker-Broderick acting in a manner consistent with her dubious attributes and talents, you need look no farther than Tim Burton's Mars Attacks! wherein she plays a vacuous television reporter whose head is transplanted onto her Chihuahua's body and she falls in love with Pierce Brosnan's disembodied head.
-- Bob Johnson
Bedford, TX
By Backing a Gay Marriage Ban, Bush Keeps Faith With His Base
Translation: He's pandering.
But THE "RIGHT" RESPONDS: WE CAN PANDER WITH THE BEST OF THEM!
Interesting, though: when I clicked on the POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S front page I got this:
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How apt from RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P. S. I had to remove a lesser-than sign to get this to post. Truth in advertising.
Translation: He's pandering.
But THE "RIGHT" RESPONDS: WE CAN PANDER WITH THE BEST OF THEM!
Interesting, though: when I clicked on the POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'S front page I got this:
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How apt from RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P. S. I had to remove a lesser-than sign to get this to post. Truth in advertising.
I was thinking today, how could we get along without newspapers? There'd be no Democratic campaigning, no show-biz PR, no invasions of privacy, no condescension, no prurience, no half-baked satire, no bad comics, no sportswriters gnashing their teeth and screaming that the world was coming to an end when their team lost, no Martin Luther King Day sales, no instant martyrs, no scapegoating -- life would be very pleasant.
But then we'd have TV, and radio -- and the WEB. And those three media pick up where newspapers leave off.
But then we'd have TV, and radio -- and the WEB. And those three media pick up where newspapers leave off.
MEL's P. R. hits a slight stumbling block: apparently a few religious leaders will NOT see it. AND ONE OF THE SUMNERS IS "DISTRESSED"! WELL!!! (In the end, she proved to be just another SUMNER. Criminal activity runs in some families.)
While I suspect most of the faithful will take their castor oil -- LIKE A MAN, I wonder how many will walk out mid-masterpiece -- and then blame their pastors?
Although there is considerable enthusiasm about the film among evangelical Protestants, mainline Protestant leaders in Massachusetts, where churches tend to be more liberal than in other parts of the country, made it clear at the press conference and in interviews afterward that they have concerns about the film.
The film has become a litmus test. Thanks, P. R. MEL. You get rich rich while the country suffers.
While I suspect most of the faithful will take their castor oil -- LIKE A MAN, I wonder how many will walk out mid-masterpiece -- and then blame their pastors?
Although there is considerable enthusiasm about the film among evangelical Protestants, mainline Protestant leaders in Massachusetts, where churches tend to be more liberal than in other parts of the country, made it clear at the press conference and in interviews afterward that they have concerns about the film.
The film has become a litmus test. Thanks, P. R. MEL. You get rich rich while the country suffers.
Tuesday, February 24, 2004
A rare personal note (rare in that I don't believe my private life should be on my blog, not that it would interest people): yesterday I learned from Edifice Complex College's alumni bulletin and a Google search that a girl I'd "dated" in college and who thus captured a small role in my never-to-be-published comic novel died last autumn in a hospice after a very long illness. (She was my age.) After several decades I still find it difficult to accept people who did me wrong, yet I felt an ineffable sadness knowing one of my characters was now gone, and I forgave her.
Twenty-four posts today -- and all of six hits. IS ANYONE OUT THERE?!?!?
Well, two little bits of good news: CHEAP CHANNEL'S sales were down -- and the state of P-A is suing the TWXSTERS. Show-biz types can't always get away with their basic, inbred fraud.
Amid the Tarzan yells on the Freep -- and I recall all too well when Mrs. Bush chided the networks for airing the WTC obscenity ad nauseum, there was a veritable JUNGLE of them, and tomorrow the whole @#$%&* CONSERVATIVE WORLD will be deafening with Tarzans -- a voice of occasional sanity, chosen at random:
Will someone on this forum (maybe someone who is Jewish) explain to me why everyone is SO sensitive about their heritage?
Myriads of Jews have been persecuted, robbed, beaten, raped, tortured, exiled, and murdered because crowds were inflamed around this time of year with material relating to the Passion. It is a haunting memory, given the circumstances.
The dimwit CONSERVATIVE ad-blurbist ninny Michael Medved LuuuuUUUUUUUUHHHHHVES it because it's conservative. (So, alas, does Terry Teachout -- because he writes for THE WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION.) WHY MUST THIS @#$%&* MOVIE BE A CONSERVATIVE LITMUS TEST?!?!? It's screaming like this that proves the old left-right dichotomy does us so much harm.
And need I remind the TARZANS the true test of this movie will be the SECOND week?
Will someone on this forum (maybe someone who is Jewish) explain to me why everyone is SO sensitive about their heritage?
Myriads of Jews have been persecuted, robbed, beaten, raped, tortured, exiled, and murdered because crowds were inflamed around this time of year with material relating to the Passion. It is a haunting memory, given the circumstances.
The dimwit CONSERVATIVE ad-blurbist ninny Michael Medved LuuuuUUUUUUUUHHHHHVES it because it's conservative. (So, alas, does Terry Teachout -- because he writes for THE WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION.) WHY MUST THIS @#$%&* MOVIE BE A CONSERVATIVE LITMUS TEST?!?!? It's screaming like this that proves the old left-right dichotomy does us so much harm.
And need I remind the TARZANS the true test of this movie will be the SECOND week?
Another civic glory causes a -- problem. Every time the Rendells put up another huge arts center there's a problem -- in our case (in Philly), cost overruns, in LALA's, heat. Honestly guys, the arts won't save your hide. When will you learn?
Wanna bet this costs TENS OF MILLIONS OF TAX DOLLARS to fix -- if it can be fixed?
Wanna bet this costs TENS OF MILLIONS OF TAX DOLLARS to fix -- if it can be fixed?
In more heroic testimony to warm the cockles of LARRY KUDLOW'S (and Richard Co -- whoops!) heart, Tyco, the non-toy company with the toy cash register, dispensed $24 MILLION in "home loans" to Denny and his CFO.
FREE ENTERPRISE AT WORK!
FREE ENTERPRISE AT WORK!
NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHRISTIAN PERSECUTION ALERT:
WHY IS MEL GIBSON ACTING SO CRAZY????????????? (front-page hed)
As it happens, the story is conventional column-inch-filler/quote-anthology/show-biz-PR/news-hack-irony stuff, which end with our intrepid author intimating P. R. MEL is a business genius -- which he couldn't have been without the help and support of NEWS HACKS.
WHY IS MEL GIBSON ACTING SO CRAZY????????????? (front-page hed)
As it happens, the story is conventional column-inch-filler/quote-anthology/show-biz-PR/news-hack-irony stuff, which end with our intrepid author intimating P. R. MEL is a business genius -- which he couldn't have been without the help and support of NEWS HACKS.
Parents are responsible for indecent TV programing -- NOT US.
By the way, LACHLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, I can't find any press release on the FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! site, on the NEWSCORP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! site, on "RCA"'s site, or on Thomson's site. Good deking, LACHLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By the way, LACHLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, I can't find any press release on the FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! site, on the NEWSCORP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! site, on "RCA"'s site, or on Thomson's site. Good deking, LACHLAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And speaking of the invaluable IWantMedia.com (that's where I got the last story), an idiot CHEAP CHANNEL shock jock has lost his gig. Good bye, good riddance, and get yourself a job as a paper towel.
C.I.A. Was Given Data on Hijacker Long Before 9/11
The more we learn, the more we learn the Feds screwed up bigtime, don't we.
P. S. Why does "politics" appear in the URL? I don't think 9/11 was about POLITICS.
The more we learn, the more we learn the Feds screwed up bigtime, don't we.
P. S. Why does "politics" appear in the URL? I don't think 9/11 was about POLITICS.
Another reason to SCREAM: The ad-blurb copywriters HATE IT (EisnerCorp's thumbs were clearly writing for the peanut gallery; on their salaries they can afford to), meaning KNEE-JERK CONSERVATIVES will drum it into our dear little ears that means THEY'RE A BUNCH OF COMMUNIST HUMANIST ATHEIST GLOBALISTS!!!!! But the ad-blurbists' judgment doesn't make the public's look better; Titanic was huge, and look what's happened to its rep.
Andy S. will have a BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD DAY today.
The Eighteenth Amendment shows the folly of social engineering in the Constitution. But lots of judges think The New York Times is the Bible and Pinch is God. What can we do faced with the rock and the rockheads?
The Eighteenth Amendment shows the folly of social engineering in the Constitution. But lots of judges think The New York Times is the Bible and Pinch is God. What can we do faced with the rock and the rockheads?
An unpleasant thought: we now have knee-jerk books for left and right. With P. R. MEL'S STUNT will we now have knee-jerk movies?
It will be hard, however, to improve on MOVIES FOR JERKS.
It will be hard, however, to improve on MOVIES FOR JERKS.
AP Poll: Prescription Costs a Burden
So let's burden the taxpayer -- and add an extra charge for efficiency!
So let's burden the taxpayer -- and add an extra charge for efficiency!
BUTTMAN INSTITUTE FREE-ENTERPRISE-CONSERVATIVE ALERT: Young kids are vulnerable to commercials. Eyeball-rolling factor: It's the American Psychological Association.
Putin Says Government Resigns
Resigned -- or PUSCHED?
Mitigating factor: the ex-PM worked for Boris the Drunkard.
Resigned -- or PUSCHED?
Mitigating factor: the ex-PM worked for Boris the Drunkard.
Good news for LARRY KUDLOW: America's footnote factories are doing something FREE-ENTERPRISE: they're using more part-time profs -- and they're CHARGING MORE! THE MARKETPLACE TRIUMPHS!
Clever politicking: by not bringing up his anti-war record, NEWS HACKS can deny Republicans a chance to "pin" DIPPITY-DO with the L-WORD. Clever, no?
Of course, every week is a week for Richard "Crybaby" Cohen. This week he speaks of the "WONDERFUL" President Legacy -- "that exuberant economy above all" -- and then screams, "There's something just plain wrong when the average CEO makes 500 times the salary of the average worker -- AND, PLEASE, SPARE ME ANY LECTURES ABOUT THE MARKET SYSTEM AND SUPPLY AND DEMAND!!!!!" But didn't "Dennis Kozlowski and Conrad Black" earn most of their obscene riches in the reign of wonder? To make his too long story short, he doesn't want RALPHIE BOY to run. One word explanation: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Maybe, Herr Doktor Prager, women are exposing their bodies because they're exposing their bodies. Not everything has a scientific explanation.
This is going to be one of THOSE weeks for conservatives.
This is going to be one of THOSE weeks for conservatives.
Monday, February 23, 2004
I hear NEWS HACKS smacking their lips again! Some butthead in Dubya's cabinet (the butthead who runs the buttwarming Education Department) called the NEA a "terrorist organization," and you know what THAT means: NEWS HACKS and DEMOCRATS (six of one...) will make this a campaign issue and demand his resignation every single day. He shouldn't have said it; but the truth is the NEA is the keeper of PC in our schools and their excellence owes in no small measure to its laziness and stubbornness. But schools can get excellent in a hurry when your MORTAL ENEMY attacks.
CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGE quotes five Democrats and a Republican. BIAS? WHAT BIAS?!?!?
CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGE quotes five Democrats and a Republican. BIAS? WHAT BIAS?!?!?
RALPH the SCOLD has turned talk of "corporate criminals" into such a cliche no one can take him seriously. That corporate thievery thrives means big business's critics have been effectively neutered, in part because one expects RALPHs to criticize it, in part because of a generation of KNEE-JERK CONSERVATIVES who will defend business through every misdeed because what's good for corporate America is good for America.
The fan clubs for SLUTSVILLE and GORY FOR GLORY have more similarities than they may wish to admit. To start, they're both very insular: the soccer mom females, the Bible Belters and knee-jerk conservatives; neither (if Free Republic can be judged on the latter) will admit their masterworks are bad; they're both at worst politically intolerant; and they're both led by the most insular of news hacks (the gushmeisters and ad-blurb copywriters, NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and THE HUMAN TOP). The only thing in SLUTSVILLE's favor is that its cult saw the show. More to the point, the properties share something too: excess; SLUTSVILLE was to sex what GORY FOR GLORY is to violence, and both respective sides should bow their heads and contemplate themselves a little for what their obsessions have done to us. Alas, given some of the CRETINS who run America's churches, we can no more expect that for P. R. Mel than for Horseface.
Gibsonās fervor, it seems to me, belongs as much to the realm of sadomasochism as to Christian piety.
GLORY TO SADOMASOCHISM!!!!!
The real damage will not, I think, be in the realm of Jewish-Christian relations, at least not in this country. Anti-Semites donāt need an excuse to be anti-Semites. The damage will be to those who come to believe that Gibsonās crimson tide, with its jacked-up excruciations, is synonymous with true religious feeling.
But "Dr." Dobson! GORY IS GLORY!!!!!
GLORY TO SADOMASOCHISM!!!!!
The real damage will not, I think, be in the realm of Jewish-Christian relations, at least not in this country. Anti-Semites donāt need an excuse to be anti-Semites. The damage will be to those who come to believe that Gibsonās crimson tide, with its jacked-up excruciations, is synonymous with true religious feeling.
But "Dr." Dobson! GORY IS GLORY!!!!!
Remember when USA Today gave Dean a four-donkey rating?
(Romenesko link)
I'd give USA Okay a hundred-donkey rating -- beause it's full of ASSES.
(Romenesko link)
I'd give USA Okay a hundred-donkey rating -- beause it's full of ASSES.
I love Venn diagrams. Picture this one: In one circle, all the female NEWS HACKS who found President Legacy SEXY. In another, all the (mostly) female fans of SLUTSVILLE. The two overlap.
I pity all those super-educated, super-earning, super-slow news hacks who have nothing to do now that ONE OF THE GREATEST ARTISTIC CREATIONS IN THE UNIVERSE'S HISTORY is history. I KNOW!! WE CAN ELECT DIPPITY-DO PRESIDENT! Doesn't he have a SEXY FOREHEAD? And if that doesn't work WE CAN ELECT SEN. GOODHAIR GRISHAM!
"Frankly, sharing a media market with Chuck Schumer is like sharing a banana with a monkey. Take a little bite of it, and he will throw his own feces at you."
Sorry, if someone said that of me, I might be a little angry too. For one thing, if you're going to make fun of me, at least be funny.
Sorry, if someone said that of me, I might be a little angry too. For one thing, if you're going to make fun of me, at least be funny.
A search I did using Google to research today's column turned up 75,334 pages devoted to "comic book movies." I'd still be sitting there clicking "next" if I decided to read them all.
If you hadn't become like the fans (and producers, and writers, and actors) first: mentally -- challenged.
If you hadn't become like the fans (and producers, and writers, and actors) first: mentally -- challenged.
Sunday, February 22, 2004
Here's one for Terry Teachout, and I'm sending this to him by e-mail: Sir, am I the only person put off by the overpowering PR for SLUTSVILLE and GORY FOR GLORY? Am I the only person thinking these alleged masterpieces of our time won't last -- in no small measure because they are (or should be) verboten for young people, exactly the audience needed to preserve art? You don't need an age restriction on Huck Finn (though I might put it off limits to some educators). And you should know this one, Mr. Teachout: Menck always touted Joseph Hergesheimer's novels, and he almost single-handedly got Sinclair Lewis's Main Street in print. He called these works "genius." Who reads them anymore? When news hacks tout something with one voice (and especially through their 50 gigawatt megaphone) that alone should put the bug of suspicion in our minds. (I'm not knocking Lewis, by the way, because Babbitt is one of my few fiction favorites.)
Here is why serious fiction doesn't matter much these days: first off, who has the time for it? Second, enough people write for their navels. Third, when was the last time you could quote a memorable fiction line that wasn't embarrassing? Fourth, The New Yorker helped kill it with all its short stories about Walter Mittys (he started there) and dissolute families. Fifth (and this is hardly news), the people who write serious fiction simply don't want to write to entertain. Hard-core Christians and World War II buffs aside, who wants to spend a night curled up with a bottle of castor oil? Sixth, news hacks rave so much fiction you can't tell it apart anyway.
And since there's been a slight tiff these last few days about attributing links, I will confess I use ArtsJournal.com and IWant Media.com a lot. But then PROF uses Buzz T. Newhouse and Mr. Bleat a lot, and Buzz uses his dear friend HOWARD STERN a lot. (And worse, there are no links. Buzz! I'll say it again: Give that guy a blog!)
And since there's been a slight tiff these last few days about attributing links, I will confess I use ArtsJournal.com and IWant Media.com a lot. But then PROF uses Buzz T. Newhouse and Mr. Bleat a lot, and Buzz uses his dear friend HOWARD STERN a lot. (And worse, there are no links. Buzz! I'll say it again: Give that guy a blog!)
Guess I was wrong. Sly (and JEFF) is as dumb as a fox.
Wanna bet GE Bancorp Network looks a little stupid?
Wanna bet GE Bancorp Network looks a little stupid?
Media giants or parents? Just who is in charge?
It is NECESSARY to ASK this question?
And the joke is, David "Weenie" Shaw thinks parents can control their kids' use of media. Good luck, guy.
OR:
"I'm not a Christian right-winger. I'm a progressive. I teach civil rights and civil liberties at Stanford."
Translation: I've got my finger in the dike, and I'm twenty feet under.
It is NECESSARY to ASK this question?
And the joke is, David "Weenie" Shaw thinks parents can control their kids' use of media. Good luck, guy.
OR:
"I'm not a Christian right-winger. I'm a progressive. I teach civil rights and civil liberties at Stanford."
Translation: I've got my finger in the dike, and I'm twenty feet under.
I'm thinking maybe the reason Mrs. Ketchup isn't pitching in is because SHE KNOWS BETTER. (Caveat: it's a NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
We already plugged the movie (the greatest of all time, to be sure), and gay marriage is a circulation DOWNER, so I guess we're stuck with -- the DONALD?!?!?
Shrewdly, BLUNDER's PR hacks don't say how much he's worth. THAT might be a downer too.
P. S. Don't quit your day job (BLUNDER hacks excepted).
Shrewdly, BLUNDER's PR hacks don't say how much he's worth. THAT might be a downer too.
P. S. Don't quit your day job (BLUNDER hacks excepted).
TWO FOR TWO!!!!!
OR:
"ITāS HIS PERSONAL VANITY BECAUSE HE HAS NO MOVEMENT!!!!! NOBODYāS BACKING HIM!!!!!"
Translation: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!
OR:
"ITāS HIS PERSONAL VANITY BECAUSE HE HAS NO MOVEMENT!!!!! NOBODYāS BACKING HIM!!!!!"
Translation: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!
THE LIVE, PRIME-TIME EXPOSURE OF JANET JACKSON'S BREAST WAS ONLY THE LATEST EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF SEXUAL TITILLATION AND EXPLOITATION THE NETWORK USES TO SELL OUR CHILDREN THE DANGEROUS, DEGRADING MESSAGES THAT WOMEN ARE TO BE VALUED ONLY FOR HOW THEY LOOK AND SEX IS JUST ANOTHER FORM OF RECREATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-- Dr. James "Gory is Glory" Dobson.
-- Dr. James "Gory is Glory" Dobson.
Why movies (and especially movie-ad-blurb copywriters) are irrelevant: one of the Times' artsy-craftsy blurbists writes agitated filler about a masterpiece that probably won't earn back its production cost (in no small measure thanks to lease clauses), that will be seen by fewer people over its entire run than saw the latest CGI Tolkien in one day -- but talk is how SLUTSVILLE became immortal, isn't it?
Rendering Politics Speechless
George "MY BUSINESS IS MY BUSINESS, GOT IT?!?!?" Will finally comes up with a good idea!
George "MY BUSINESS IS MY BUSINESS, GOT IT?!?!?" Will finally comes up with a good idea!
Saturday, February 21, 2004
One thing Ah-NULT had on Ralph: he appeared on Leno. (Not to say Meet the Press can't be funny too.)
My prediction: he runs. Let's see if I can go two-for-two. Only this one's much easier.
My prediction: he runs. Let's see if I can go two-for-two. Only this one's much easier.
Agence France-Presse, the news service famous through bad Babelfish translations, reports you-who-know is lurking as usual around northwest Pakistan, so we have one reason not to believe it.
All this proves is that after having seen (and raved) thousands of movies the way to get to these two multimillionare publicists is to hit 'em on the head -- and they, like Mr. Mark, know (or think) a big payday's comin'.
I am getting sick and tired of hearing about this stunt, but the M.O. of modern public relations (and NEWS HACKERY) is TOTAL SUBJUGATION AT ANY COST.
P. S. EisnerCorp calls these bozos "renowned," perhaps thinking there might be some doubt -- especially after the conflict-of-interest stink.
I am getting sick and tired of hearing about this stunt, but the M.O. of modern public relations (and NEWS HACKERY) is TOTAL SUBJUGATION AT ANY COST.
P. S. EisnerCorp calls these bozos "renowned," perhaps thinking there might be some doubt -- especially after the conflict-of-interest stink.
I'm listening to Mrs. Miller -- yes, that Mrs. Miller -- and I'm thinking, almost forty years ago, the same kind of people who are about to flagellate themselves in movie houses by the millions for their religion would have taken Mrs. Miller seriously. She probably would have plugged the movie.
On second thought, no. That's insulting the memory of a great lady.
On second thought, no. That's insulting the memory of a great lady.
Technorati serves a useful purpose! It found me this story of another ham-handed attempt by Dubya's administration at CONTROL. Of all the ways to go about trying to make TV less offensive, this is the WORST, because you're picking on people with a disability -- in this case a large constituency that can speak deafeningly though it's DEAF.
For once I have a GOOD THING to say about LEGENDARY WELCH: It seems the former boss of NEUTRON JACK'S GHOST has STAYED UP NIGHTS worrying about "THE LACK OF DIVERSITY IN NEWS." The LEGEND shot back: "Steve, get a life."
JOHN A. BYRNE DID.
JOHN A. BYRNE DID.
Gory action movies are okay -- so long as they're OUR KIND of gory action movies -- thus saith MR. FOCUS ON THE FAMILY.
I'm beginning to wonder if P. R. MEL'S masterpiece is a Hollywood plot to destroy the Christian movement.
I'm beginning to wonder if P. R. MEL'S masterpiece is a Hollywood plot to destroy the Christian movement.
"I have no doubt when all is said and all is done, we'll find coach Barnett to be a man of character."
Make that a man of CHARACTERS, I'd bet.
Make that a man of CHARACTERS, I'd bet.
DIPPITY-DO might not be able to live down his past -- if he were a CONSERVATIVE.
And lest we forget, NewsMax is full of it too.
And lest we forget, NewsMax is full of it too.
Mugabe, 80, tells of murder bid
I can believe someone would try to murder him. On the other hand, I can believe he would try to murder somebody -- by the ones or twos, or the thousands.
And that "80" isn't cause for hope either. Look at the Ayatollah Khomeini, or Fidel Castro.
I can believe someone would try to murder him. On the other hand, I can believe he would try to murder somebody -- by the ones or twos, or the thousands.
And that "80" isn't cause for hope either. Look at the Ayatollah Khomeini, or Fidel Castro.
I've a hunch telemarketers may be trying to get around the FTC's Do Not Call list by annoying people at work, where they wouldn't think to block sales pitches. Yesterday for the second time in a week someone pestered me on the job to buy something, and after eight increasingly firm "I'm not interested"s would not stop the palaver I hung up. It's one thing on a job like mine where such nuisances merely season a not-very-busy day, but in other places the pleadings may interfere with business, and in the worst cases, keep emergency calls from getting through.
Oh, and the outfit that was trying to sell to me? The Philadelphia Inquirer. I would not want to guess how many bawdy satirical pieces Knight Ridder dishrags have run about the depredations of telemarketers. Nonetheless, as the employers of NEWS HACKS demonstrate yet again, they're not afraid to be hypocrites.
Oh, and the outfit that was trying to sell to me? The Philadelphia Inquirer. I would not want to guess how many bawdy satirical pieces Knight Ridder dishrags have run about the depredations of telemarketers. Nonetheless, as the employers of NEWS HACKS demonstrate yet again, they're not afraid to be hypocrites.
Friday, February 20, 2004
I'm surprised we haven't heard terms like COURT PACKING, UNDEMOCRATIC, EXTREMIST, etc., etc. etc. -- from NEWS HACKS.
Let's see PRESIDENT DIPPITY-DO appoint some judges.
Let's see PRESIDENT DIPPITY-DO appoint some judges.
I wish IE6 would support flashing type -- as in
CONSERVATIVES
Poised to Win Disputed Iran Election
You know what I mean?
CONSERVATIVES
Poised to Win Disputed Iran Election
You know what I mean?
How typical: Kinsley.com thinks it's damning hip-hop by calling it CORNY.
Hey that blase irony gag of yours is getting to be a little long in the tooth also.
Hey that blase irony gag of yours is getting to be a little long in the tooth also.
Greenspan noted that, in recent years, new technology has helped businesses produce more with fewer workers, while globalization has led to an increasing flow of U.S. jobs moving overseas.
This process is good for the broader economy in the long run, he said, helping to raise standards of living....
Has Al been running the Fed too long?
This process is good for the broader economy in the long run, he said, helping to raise standards of living....
Has Al been running the Fed too long?
WAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! Dey TWICKED HIM into de INTEVWIEW!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!
P. R. MEL WANTS IT BOTH WAYS. AND HE'LL GET IT FROM NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P. R. MEL WANTS IT BOTH WAYS. AND HE'LL GET IT FROM NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sen. PANDER says, "ME ME ME! I WANNA BE VEEP! I WANNA BE VEEP! PLEASE, PRETTY PLEASE, MAKE ME VEEP!!!!!"
You already campaigned. YOU LOST.
You already campaigned. YOU LOST.
The difference between the faked masterpiece and the fake masterpiece is that the faked masterpiece is relatively without guile.
They do have one common attribute: an ability to part fools from their money.
They do have one common attribute: an ability to part fools from their money.
Thursday, February 19, 2004
It may be an obvious match-up, but Johnny Cash's classic "Ring of Fire" won't be used to sell hemorrhoid-relief cream anytime soon.
Somewhere, ol' Johnny's laughing.
Somewhere, ol' Johnny's laughing.
This is FOX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!News, and this is a conservative activist, but when the fingers in the wind on a lower level want to reopen HISTORIC DECISIONS, something's afoot.
I don't want abortions, but I don't want judges making our law, in abortions, gay marriage or anything else. Let the people decide -- and given the wealth of scientific argument for life, they will vote against abortions of convenience.
I don't want abortions, but I don't want judges making our law, in abortions, gay marriage or anything else. Let the people decide -- and given the wealth of scientific argument for life, they will vote against abortions of convenience.
It is painfully obvious now that P. R. MEL'S MASTERWORK is nothing more than Lucas Spielberg's Private Ryan-brand castor oil aimed at righties. Let's see how audiences that normally don't go to the movies react.
Even in TRIB SYNERGY CITY, where every exec is licking his chops over the airing of SLUTSVILLE despite it being unsalable without the jackhammering of corporate-partner TWXSTERS and further being heavily censored and going full bore into the teeth of a fierce regulatory gale, even THEN, a TRIB HACK admits, well, maybe it wasn't the greatest thing since the sun and the stars:
For every successful one of the scores of "Seinfeld"-esque attempts to coin phrases ("manthrax," for a toxic guy; "modelizer," for a serial dater of models), there were, seemingly, hundreds of really bad puns, back-of-Reader's-Digest material presented as clever (Carrie to Big: "If you're tired, you take a nap-a, you don't move to Napa").
For all the saving grace of Parker, who can go from pratfall to emotional devastation in a New York minute, and for all the less sparkly, more subtle talents of Nixon and Davis, there was Cattrall's Samantha. The problem was the actress' inability to truly inhabit her character, a disservice to the idea of a sexually aggressive woman; against three relatively realistic counterparts, Cattrall, with her fakey-fake voice and slapstick bedroom contortions, forever seemed to be playing a caricature rather than a person.
And every time the series seemed to welcome you by approaching some universal truth about dating (Carrie discovering she has become so jaded about love that when then-new guy Aidan won't sleep with her right away, it never enters her mind that he's being romantic), it pushed you away with its insularity, shocking even by the usual standards of New York celebrants.
This is not only a show that kept insisting - desperately, really - on the greatness of New York, it's a show that, in the trademark Woody Allen manner, stripped the city of that greatness by taking away minorities, the outer boroughs, people who consider tossing a few hundred dollars at a pair of designer shoes stupid or, worse, unaffordable. Instead we got Carrie, at the end of Season Four, season four, happily telling viewers about transvestite hookers: "Don't worry, they have a very lovely, happy life."
Of course they do. Hooking is like that.
AND SO IS NEWSPAPERING.
For every successful one of the scores of "Seinfeld"-esque attempts to coin phrases ("manthrax," for a toxic guy; "modelizer," for a serial dater of models), there were, seemingly, hundreds of really bad puns, back-of-Reader's-Digest material presented as clever (Carrie to Big: "If you're tired, you take a nap-a, you don't move to Napa").
For all the saving grace of Parker, who can go from pratfall to emotional devastation in a New York minute, and for all the less sparkly, more subtle talents of Nixon and Davis, there was Cattrall's Samantha. The problem was the actress' inability to truly inhabit her character, a disservice to the idea of a sexually aggressive woman; against three relatively realistic counterparts, Cattrall, with her fakey-fake voice and slapstick bedroom contortions, forever seemed to be playing a caricature rather than a person.
And every time the series seemed to welcome you by approaching some universal truth about dating (Carrie discovering she has become so jaded about love that when then-new guy Aidan won't sleep with her right away, it never enters her mind that he's being romantic), it pushed you away with its insularity, shocking even by the usual standards of New York celebrants.
This is not only a show that kept insisting - desperately, really - on the greatness of New York, it's a show that, in the trademark Woody Allen manner, stripped the city of that greatness by taking away minorities, the outer boroughs, people who consider tossing a few hundred dollars at a pair of designer shoes stupid or, worse, unaffordable. Instead we got Carrie, at the end of Season Four, season four, happily telling viewers about transvestite hookers: "Don't worry, they have a very lovely, happy life."
Of course they do. Hooking is like that.
AND SO IS NEWSPAPERING.
This classic PRNewswire release should prove that, for all the COMMIE ORGANIZING on America's campuses, there's a lot of upscale, high-toned Babbittry too -- and one can rest assured that most of the authors of studies on inventory management and the like are probably NOT raging liberals.
P. S. These professors took money from a big company to do their study, so they're DEFINITELY NOT raging liberals.
"The global leader in distribution facilities and services," ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Sorry DAVID HOROWITZ!!!!!!!!!!!!, not EVERYTHING in ACADEME is ANGELA DAVIS.
P. S. These professors took money from a big company to do their study, so they're DEFINITELY NOT raging liberals.
"The global leader in distribution facilities and services," ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Sorry DAVID HOROWITZ!!!!!!!!!!!!, not EVERYTHING in ACADEME is ANGELA DAVIS.
Several days ago the TRIB revealed that it views its readers as turnips to be squeezed for whatever SYNERGISTIC GAIN comes down the pike. Today its OMBUDSPOOP reveals he views its readers as bigots to be DESPISED -- and if not bigots, certainly INFERIORS to the WISE and NOBLE HACKS of NEWSDOM. (That "tolerance" should be the end-all and be-all of NEWS HACKS is a dead giveaway of the OMBUDSPOOP'S true feelings.) To be sure, media can survive without an audience; witness how long TV has. But it can't go on forever, and while the HACKS may keep their jobs for a while, they may not be PERMANENT.
GOD gives up HIS throne to find ANOTHER ONE.
Look out behind you, God; I see others coming, and some make MOVIES.
Look out behind you, God; I see others coming, and some make MOVIES.
The success of TWX's urban mall gives an indication why those government lunkheads must ditch THE SHARDS and start over.
What matters to me is not that fifty years ago Ike "met" space aliens, what matters is that fifty years ago the AP reported Ike died of a heart attack, and it's been proudly inaccurate ever since.
PROF performs another INVALUABLE public service: he discovers that NEWSMAX runs -- MISLEADING HEADLINES.
Where would we be without you, PROF?
Where would we be without you, PROF?
The cretinous coach of Colorado's cretinous football team has been placed of administrative leave not because he runs an anything-goes program, not because he looks the other way at possibly criminal conduct, not because he believes winning is first and ethics are last, but BECAUSE HE CRITICIZED A FEMALE PLAYER. Can you see that university's Faculty Senate? It could go on the march for Commun -- for THE COACH'S HEAD!
As I've said before, the idiots of higher learning can't see the forest of corruption for the trees of "insensitive" remarks.
As I've said before, the idiots of higher learning can't see the forest of corruption for the trees of "insensitive" remarks.
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
It figures: California won't honor same-sex "marriages" because of the PAPERWORK.
Score ONE for bureaucracy.
Score ONE for bureaucracy.
Unlike Bob LaFollette or John McCain, Howard Dean....
No, NO, I must restrain myself. I'll let loose a PRIMAL SCREAM of my own if I don't control myself. No! It's impossible!
Unlike Bob LaFollette or John McCain, Howard Dean....
...went YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Although Johnny boy has come close on occasion. So did Bob LaFollette.
No, NO, I must restrain myself. I'll let loose a PRIMAL SCREAM of my own if I don't control myself. No! It's impossible!
Unlike Bob LaFollette or John McCain, Howard Dean....
...went YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Although Johnny boy has come close on occasion. So did Bob LaFollette.
AstroTurf maker files for bankruptcy
Where will we seek the fresh, clean smell of new-mown AstroTurf?
Where will we seek the fresh, clean smell of new-mown AstroTurf?
Ooooh, SCIENTISTS! Let's all bow at the feet of SCIENCE! "INDEPENDENT" SCIENTISTS think BUSH is EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL. INDEPENDENT LIBERAL SCIENTISTS who include the laureates of the awards whose recipients have included such distinguished humanitarians as Jimmy Carter and Henry Kissinger and YASSIR ARAFAT think our PRESIDENT is EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL. LET US ALL BOW AT THE FEET OF SCIENCE! SIEG HEIL!
OR:
COMPARING PRESIDENT BUSH WITH HIS FATHER, GEORGE H.W. BUSH AND FORMER PRESIDENT RICHARD M. NIXON, THE STATEMENT WARNED THAT HAD THESE FORMER PRESIDENTS SIMILARLY DISMISSED SCIENCE IN FAVOR OF POLITICAL ENDS, OVER 200,000 DEATHS AND MILLIONS OF RESPIRATORY AND CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE CASES WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN PREVENTED WITH THE SIGNING OF THE ORIGINAL CLEAN AIR ACT AND THE 1990 AMENDMENTS TO THAT ACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
POLITICAL? Nah.
OR:
COMPARING PRESIDENT BUSH WITH HIS FATHER, GEORGE H.W. BUSH AND FORMER PRESIDENT RICHARD M. NIXON, THE STATEMENT WARNED THAT HAD THESE FORMER PRESIDENTS SIMILARLY DISMISSED SCIENCE IN FAVOR OF POLITICAL ENDS, OVER 200,000 DEATHS AND MILLIONS OF RESPIRATORY AND CARDIOVASCULAR DISEASE CASES WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN PREVENTED WITH THE SIGNING OF THE ORIGINAL CLEAN AIR ACT AND THE 1990 AMENDMENTS TO THAT ACT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
POLITICAL? Nah.
Great. The Orbiting Jalopy won't fly again until next year, if then.
I've said it before: junk the Jalopy and think up something else.
I've said it before: junk the Jalopy and think up something else.
Just what we need, Jeff Katzenberg on a reality show. Maybe he could start by hiring MICKEYMOUSE NIXON, pffh-hh-hh.
Sri Lanka, Malaysia -- sure the project to build AN ISLAMIC BOMB is kaput?
If we MUST have a World Court, THIS is what it MUST exist for.
If we MUST have a World Court, THIS is what it MUST exist for.
GASP! Another conservative opposes the ROBBER-BARON ROBERTSES' POWER GRAB!
What's going on here? CALLING LARRY KUDLOW! CALLING BOB SAMUELSON!!
What's going on here? CALLING LARRY KUDLOW! CALLING BOB SAMUELSON!!
The National Religious Broadcasters reintroduces the V-CHIP!
It didn't work before; it won't work NOW.
It didn't work before; it won't work NOW.
A $41 Billion Telephone Deal, but What's in It for Consumers?
I think we know the answer: higher rates (to pay for the deal), worse service (as the "infrastructure" gets neglected and customer service moves to Madagascar) -- and a lower price for those unlucky enough to own stock in it.
I think we know the answer: higher rates (to pay for the deal), worse service (as the "infrastructure" gets neglected and customer service moves to Madagascar) -- and a lower price for those unlucky enough to own stock in it.
Tuesday, February 17, 2004
There is no doubt now: movies are turning into TV programs -- and computer programs.
Chilean spy now says he made up story about CIA
Alas, it's too easy to make up stories about the CIA, but then the CIA counters by making up stories of its own.
Alas, it's too easy to make up stories about the CIA, but then the CIA counters by making up stories of its own.
NEWS HACKS grow ever more obstinate:
Few Americans see caskets come home
For one thing, that's because few Americans have died in the war, MORONS.
Few Americans see caskets come home
For one thing, that's because few Americans have died in the war, MORONS.
The states are getting $2.3 billion to "upgrade" their election technology.
With that kind of money we're talking electronic chads.
With that kind of money we're talking electronic chads.
And here comes ANOTHER OSAMAMOBILE!
And it's made in Meh-HEE-co, figures. Home of the soccer fans who cheered our athletes.
And it's made in Meh-HEE-co, figures. Home of the soccer fans who cheered our athletes.
The Osama Channel staff gets to daydream again.
"Fears are that September 11 could be repeated." You? FEAR?!?!?
"Fears are that September 11 could be repeated." You? FEAR?!?!?
RCN to seek bankruptcy protection to stay in cable business
Here's another big chunk of biz the ROBBER-BARON ROBERTSES can look forward to.
Here's another big chunk of biz the ROBBER-BARON ROBERTSES can look forward to.
Eli Noam: Market failure in the media sector
Translation: You get what you pay for.
And HOWARD STERN is "most depressed" -- because his TWX shares could be worthless TOO. FAT CHANCE.
Translation: You get what you pay for.
And HOWARD STERN is "most depressed" -- because his TWX shares could be worthless TOO. FAT CHANCE.
A Democratic president would NOT have intervened in Iraq -- but he WOULD INTERVENE IN HAITI.
WHY?!?!?
WHY?!?!?
GOODY! IF the ROBBER-BARON ROBERTSES withdraw their MISBEGOTTEN CABLE-RATE-INCREASING BID, this means EISNERCORP'S STOCK COLLAPSES, which means -- goodbye to MICKEYMOUSE NIXON either way!
Who wants to bet the ROBBER BARONS DROP THEIR DEAL?
Who wants to bet the ROBBER BARONS DROP THEIR DEAL?
Monday, February 16, 2004
If one huge corporation controlled both the production and the dissemination of most of our news and entertainment, couldn't it rule the world?
BILL SAFIRE IS NOT A CONSERVATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How are the media covering their contraction? (I still construe the word "media" as plural in hopes that McCain will get off his duff and Bush will awaken.) Much of the coverage is "gee-whiz, which personality will be top dog, which investors will profit and which giant will go bust?"
Thank you AGAIN, KEN FELATTA.
BILL SAFIRE IS NOT A CONSERVATIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How are the media covering their contraction? (I still construe the word "media" as plural in hopes that McCain will get off his duff and Bush will awaken.) Much of the coverage is "gee-whiz, which personality will be top dog, which investors will profit and which giant will go bust?"
Thank you AGAIN, KEN FELATTA.
No no NO Mick, you're SUPPOSED to DRAW MICKEYMOUSE NIXON.
This came from PRAVDA's site, figures.
"At some point, you'll have many voices -- and one ventriloquist."
And guess who the ventriloquist's DUMMIES are.
And guess who the ventriloquist's DUMMIES are.
PSYCHO'S NOT quitting, and anyone else who DARES to say he is gets a YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Enough of the governor's primal yells for today.
Enough of the governor's primal yells for today.
Among the noxious gases that wafted up between the fillers of the SUPER UNBORE (that is to say, the game), one particularly toxic one sailed under everybody's radar but Tom Shales's, and of course it came from JACK'S CONSPIRACY, and unfortunately for JACK! Tom writes for the Washington Post, so now JACK'S CONSPIRACY will have to spend more money producing umpteen TV commercials rather than saving the money by making movies that wouldn't require producing umpteen commercials.
Who wants to bet NEWS HACKS try to keep this story alive for days and days and days, even though this former mayor and crook has cancer?
There must be something behind it, there must ALWAYS be something behind it. Of course there was nothing behind Legacy and HIS pardons, because he was a liberal Democrat.
There must be something behind it, there must ALWAYS be something behind it. Of course there was nothing behind Legacy and HIS pardons, because he was a liberal Democrat.
"Paying about $40 a month for cable television, including ESPN, is the best entertainment value in America."
Who says it'll stay at $40?
Who says it'll stay at $40?
THE NO-SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN SPIN ZONE SPINNNNNNNNNNNNNS AGAIN!
You're making us dizzzzzzzzzzzzy, No-Spin!
You're making us dizzzzzzzzzzzzy, No-Spin!
Sunday, February 15, 2004
The affirmative-action bake sale won't go away. Now it's become the affirmative-action scholarship (whites only need apply).
To their credit, college conservatives have a sense of humor -- something that CANNOT be said of college liberals.
To their credit, college conservatives have a sense of humor -- something that CANNOT be said of college liberals.
John Leo parrots DAVID HOROWITZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' line. Clearly there's a problem in the teaching of the arts and the soft sciences (or rather the non-science sciences), where scrambled eggheads blaze with sheer intolerance, and their pernicious influence is amplified by their natural alliance with news hacks and show-biz. But one could argue the problem is less political than simply an abandonment of standards; witness the growth quackery of pop-culture studies. And to reiterate, many college students don't major in these contentious areas, they're in the hard sciences and the business and accounting departments, which I suspect aren't so politically lopsided. The fact that Republicans are in the majority must mean the influence of the scrambled lefty eggheads, however gross, is not infinite.
The GLIBERAL tries the ironic-satiric approach. Glibby, I'd rather have you planted in front of that mirror, your head three times normal size and your face beet red, your brain teeming with lightning and thunder over the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL of Dubya. Jonathan Swift you ain't.
The GEEKS just got their OscarsĀ®. Without the GEEKS there'd be no movies, as there'd be no character or plot or acting or writing.
You can judge a government by how well it fixes potholes, and most governments don't fix them well.
You wonder if they thought of it last year.
Oh, and UK singles sales were down by a third last year. GOOD.
Proof that today's "music" may not outlive its creators:
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club have been forced to cancel the remaining dates of their UK & Ireland tour after guitarist Peter Hayes broke his thumb.
P. S. He was drunk when breaking it.
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club have been forced to cancel the remaining dates of their UK & Ireland tour after guitarist Peter Hayes broke his thumb.
P. S. He was drunk when breaking it.
IN YOUR FACE!
TRANSLATION: This is just an action movie with Bible verses.
Ya think all those Bible Belt yahoos -- I mean, moviegoers will appreciate this?
There's something churning in P. R. MEL, and it's not pleasant.
TRANSLATION: This is just an action movie with Bible verses.
Ya think all those Bible Belt yahoos -- I mean, moviegoers will appreciate this?
There's something churning in P. R. MEL, and it's not pleasant.
Here is why NEWS HACKS will retain a glowing nostalgia for Slick's White House until the sun burns to a black hole: he let their first cousins of SHOW-BIZ into every cranny, and since the only difference between, say, an anchorpoop and an actor is that the anchorpoop's script comes hot off the AP, he was de facto letting them in too. Bush tried evicting them to a defeaning chorus of boos, but once they esconce DIPPITY-DO they'll be back with a vengeance, bringing their cruddy old baggage too, just like the Beverly Hillbillies, and they'll never leave.