THE NEWS HACK'S CREED:
I know more than you.
I make lots more money than you.
I'm smarter than you.
I'm sexier than you.
I appear on TV all the time.
I work ten minutes a day.
I rule the universe.
I'm going to live forever.
You are an idiot.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2:
A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3:
I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity.
--JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL.
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4:
News isn't news when we don't report it.
PERMALINKS:
THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY
THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY
AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE!
Blogroll Me!
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Friday, December 31, 2004
Thankfully both this woman's sons survived. How many people avoided this story (like me, initially) thinking they were going to get the sort of SHAKESPEARE the NEWS HACK inflicts on his readers when he tries to be PROFOUND? As it is it's discomfort-making.
I don't think you should have LINKED to THIS, BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM:
Right-leaning news operations, and even bloggers themselves, may soon taste the same deeply skeptical scrutiny and scorn they’ve long heaped on the mainstream media. And when they are judged by the same criteria with which they judge others, they will certainly come up short....
Developing hypersensitivity to hidden ideology can easily become a distorting ideology of its own, especially when inconvenient facts, such as journalism’s culture of rejecting overt political agendas, are brushed aside. "It is the tragic story of a ‘mental short circuit,’" Vaclav Havel wrote in a marvelous 1985 essay on a different topic. "Why bother with the never ending, genuinely hopeless search for truth when a truth can be had so readily, all at once, in the form of an ideology or doctrine? Suddenly it is all so simple. Think of all the difficult questions which are answered in advance!"
When you already "know" that the media are objectively anti-Bush, it’s not such a stretch to assert, as U.S. News & World Report columnist Michael Barone did in May, that "today’s press works to put the worst possible face on the war." Or to join Andrew Sullivan in nicknaming the BBC the "Baghdad Broadcasting Company."
The main problem with these characterizations is that they are wrong. The ideology of bias detection begets the shortcut of hyperbole, which then demands escalation when the conditions being described worsen. Many of the same people who roasted Dan Rather lapped up Judith Miller’s discredited New York Times reporting about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. People believe what they want to hear. What are bloggers and other media watchdogs willing to believe about the target of their wrath?
Press bias deserves the scorn it gets; the press has over a century's record of thumping self-righteousness. (I don't know what our intrepid blogger Mr. Welch means by "journalism’s culture of rejecting overt political agendas"; obviously he's never heard of Billy Hearst of Hank Luce or HHHWWWWALTER CRRRONKITE.) But as I've said before, SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS are now as MMMMMMMSSSSSSSMMMMMMM as DANNO, and because of that they're starting to think THEY CAN DO AS THEY PLEASE TOO.
Right-leaning news operations, and even bloggers themselves, may soon taste the same deeply skeptical scrutiny and scorn they’ve long heaped on the mainstream media. And when they are judged by the same criteria with which they judge others, they will certainly come up short....
Developing hypersensitivity to hidden ideology can easily become a distorting ideology of its own, especially when inconvenient facts, such as journalism’s culture of rejecting overt political agendas, are brushed aside. "It is the tragic story of a ‘mental short circuit,’" Vaclav Havel wrote in a marvelous 1985 essay on a different topic. "Why bother with the never ending, genuinely hopeless search for truth when a truth can be had so readily, all at once, in the form of an ideology or doctrine? Suddenly it is all so simple. Think of all the difficult questions which are answered in advance!"
When you already "know" that the media are objectively anti-Bush, it’s not such a stretch to assert, as U.S. News & World Report columnist Michael Barone did in May, that "today’s press works to put the worst possible face on the war." Or to join Andrew Sullivan in nicknaming the BBC the "Baghdad Broadcasting Company."
The main problem with these characterizations is that they are wrong. The ideology of bias detection begets the shortcut of hyperbole, which then demands escalation when the conditions being described worsen. Many of the same people who roasted Dan Rather lapped up Judith Miller’s discredited New York Times reporting about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. People believe what they want to hear. What are bloggers and other media watchdogs willing to believe about the target of their wrath?
Press bias deserves the scorn it gets; the press has over a century's record of thumping self-righteousness. (I don't know what our intrepid blogger Mr. Welch means by "journalism’s culture of rejecting overt political agendas"; obviously he's never heard of Billy Hearst of Hank Luce or HHHWWWWALTER CRRRONKITE.) But as I've said before, SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS are now as MMMMMMMSSSSSSSMMMMMMM as DANNO, and because of that they're starting to think THEY CAN DO AS THEY PLEASE TOO.
NEW MATH AT NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
Jon Stewart Beats Out Clinton
FOURTH GRAF:
The paper [the Noo Yawk Daily Nooz] said Nielson [SIC] Bookscan, which covers about 70 percent of the book market, reports that Clinton's book has sold about 1.2 million copies, compared with Stewart's 997,000.
Did you ever learn GREATER-THAN and LESS-THAN SIGNS in SCHOOL, CARL LIMBURGER?????
Jon Stewart Beats Out Clinton
FOURTH GRAF:
The paper [the Noo Yawk Daily Nooz] said Nielson [SIC] Bookscan, which covers about 70 percent of the book market, reports that Clinton's book has sold about 1.2 million copies, compared with Stewart's 997,000.
Did you ever learn GREATER-THAN and LESS-THAN SIGNS in SCHOOL, CARL LIMBURGER?????
ME ME ME ME ME! I can write cover stories too! I can bow EVEN LOWER than the best of them! I LUUUUUUUUUUUUV SHOW BIZ!!!!! Oh PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!
Remember the name -- Denise Hazlick!
Remember the name -- Denise Hazlick!
When I saw this story about AMERICA'S MOST EXPENNNNNNNNSIVE HOUSE I thought, sighhhhhhhhhh, one of our SUPERIORS -- but no, it was a mere..."PHARMACEUTICAL DISTRIBUTOR."
Hey SLEAZEBALL TAUZIN, y'HEAR THAT! THERE'S STILL BIG MONEY IN BIG PHARMA!
Hey SLEAZEBALL TAUZIN, y'HEAR THAT! THERE'S STILL BIG MONEY IN BIG PHARMA!
NEW MATH AT EDITOR AND PUBLISHER: Somebody takes A POLL surmising that 51% of the people think going into Iraq was "a mistake" -- and E&P'S Einsteins call it "MOST."
Hey we can pull a gag like that too: many news hacks earn six digits -- and by including all the INTERNS and every last scribbler at rural weeklies and ALTERNATIVE RAGS we can say your salaries average $3,000 a year.
Hey we can pull a gag like that too: many news hacks earn six digits -- and by including all the INTERNS and every last scribbler at rural weeklies and ALTERNATIVE RAGS we can say your salaries average $3,000 a year.
OoooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooh, OMERTA tells us JUSTICE THOMAS accepted -- FREE GIFTS!!!!! OoooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooh!!!!!!!!!!!
This is why people pay no mind to such stories anymore: aside from the fact that EVERYBODY DOES IT (a notion hammered in by NEWS HACKS CONSTANTLY DOING SUCH STORIES), in this instance it's not the GIFTS at issue, IT'S THE JUDGE.
This is why people pay no mind to such stories anymore: aside from the fact that EVERYBODY DOES IT (a notion hammered in by NEWS HACKS CONSTANTLY DOING SUCH STORIES), in this instance it's not the GIFTS at issue, IT'S THE JUDGE.
Thursday, December 30, 2004
Oh, the NEWS HACKS must be SIGHING tonight, if only WE could be like SPAIN...
...we'd be a third-rate country of trendy appeasing CHICKENS.
How do you say PINCH en Espanol?
One other question: which nation will be first to be run over by the European Caliphate?
...we'd be a third-rate country of trendy appeasing CHICKENS.
How do you say PINCH en Espanol?
One other question: which nation will be first to be run over by the European Caliphate?
SHUCKS, Madame Golddigger's out of the money.
Now it is safe to say that her fortunes have joined other things in sagging.
Now it is safe to say that her fortunes have joined other things in sagging.
Do you suppose seventy years hence people will tap their toes to NICK COLEMAN AND THE RASPBERRIES?
From out of the blue in a world of MODERN POP MUSIC'S LEGENDARY GENIUS comes the dismaying word that the big-band leader and clarinetist Artie Shaw has died at 94. Shaw had the natural talent and street smarts to be at the top, and a man who at the least could turn "Begin the Beguine" from a Latin cliche into a surpassing dance classic (with a little help from Jerry Gray) was outstandingly that, but his matinee-idol looks guaranteed he'd be remembered too much for his love life, and his fame led him to be consumed with roaring doubts and a passion for "art" more than swing music could hold -- people will debate without end whether the harpsichord really belonged in jazz -- and he silenced his instrument fifty years before his death. We can say just as well as the music could do nothing but repeat itself, as did the Swing Era's survivors, and ultimately the pale ghost bands; but no one can take away his signal role in a generation that made great music without resorting to art. Now he, and his age, and their masterworks are gone, and we're left with TODAY'S SOUNDS OF IMMORTAL BRILLIANCE.
It is just as well too that this obit comes up against the Asian catastrophe, as this will give NEWS HACKS less chance to demonstrate their philistinism, and to condescend to music lovers who don't like THEIR favorites.
It is just as well too that this obit comes up against the Asian catastrophe, as this will give NEWS HACKS less chance to demonstrate their philistinism, and to condescend to music lovers who don't like THEIR favorites.
Oh dear oh dear, the SEC is investigating one of ST. WARREN'S INSURANCE COMPANIES for -- SMOOTHING OUT EARNINGS.
Don't they realize SMOOTH is the PATHWAY to HEAVEN?
Don't they realize SMOOTH is the PATHWAY to HEAVEN?
D.C. Lobbyists Spent $2 Billion This Year
What we need is the BUTTMAN -- er, CATO INSTITUTE comparing this to POTATO CHIPS and BARBIE DOLLS, or GEORGE "MY BUSINESS IS MY BUSINESS" WILL calling this DEMOCRACY IN ACTION!
(Sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
What we need is the BUTTMAN -- er, CATO INSTITUTE comparing this to POTATO CHIPS and BARBIE DOLLS, or GEORGE "MY BUSINESS IS MY BUSINESS" WILL calling this DEMOCRACY IN ACTION!
(Sorry for the NewsMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
FREE EN-TER-PRISE STORY OF THE MONTH:
NASD FINES HIT RECORD $102M
It's all ELIOT "NESS" SPITZER'S FAULT!
NASD FINES HIT RECORD $102M
It's all ELIOT "NESS" SPITZER'S FAULT!
I know this is another kee-yute story, but when will eBay get so rank that people will treat it as they do the leper?
This company has the worst reputation of any economic miracle. I'm waiting for con-SER-va-tives to claim it as their own. DOW 36,000! Isn't it time for a COLUMN?
This company has the worst reputation of any economic miracle. I'm waiting for con-SER-va-tives to claim it as their own. DOW 36,000! Isn't it time for a COLUMN?
Really, CONGRESSPOOPS should stop trying to "police" themselves. They should leave that to PROSECUTORS.
And with any luck, PROSECUTORS will have their HANDS FULL these next few years.
And with any luck, PROSECUTORS will have their HANDS FULL these next few years.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Pardon me, but I think you deserve to be fired when you lose by 37 points at the CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL.
THE BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM'S WAR with RAGING NICK has gone beyond politics, and perhaps the personal as well. How do we gain from the biggest food fight blogging has yet known? This is turning into one long spite match REGARDLESS of who's right. And this is why when SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS talk about their purity what little calls a BS DETECTOR goes off. One can't keep out the suspicion EVERYONE INVOLVED is doing this for THE PUBLICITY. Well, we all know THE BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM now, and we all know RAGING NICK. Problem is, we know a pretty fierce SKUNK SMELL too.
And all the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS are talking about it, which means they'll obsess for WEEKS -- and be every bit as tiresome as NEWS HACKS.
I must also admit easy stunts like this get me mad that after two years all I can manage is about two dozen page views a day, and I have to work for them. Oh well, it was once half-a-dozen.
And all the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS are talking about it, which means they'll obsess for WEEKS -- and be every bit as tiresome as NEWS HACKS.
I must also admit easy stunts like this get me mad that after two years all I can manage is about two dozen page views a day, and I have to work for them. Oh well, it was once half-a-dozen.
If too many will remember Jerry Orbach for his dour TV WORK (ugh!), this theater aficionado will remember him as a very bright star of musicals, one of which (ahem) I did in high school. NO, not The Fantasticks. Anyone remember Carnival!? With Anna Maria Alberghetti? We should.
Four More Years
Should Colombian President Álvaro Uribe be allowed to run for a second term?
Oh well, it beats RONALD REAGAN GOING TO HELL, Dubya following.
Should Colombian President Álvaro Uribe be allowed to run for a second term?
Oh well, it beats RONALD REAGAN GOING TO HELL, Dubya following.
And STERNO has become TSUNAMI CENTRAL! DOOT DO DOOT DOOOOOOOT DO DOOT DOOOOOOOT DO DO DOOT!!!!!
I liked it better when he was flinging mashed potatoes at BRENT.
I liked it better when he was flinging mashed potatoes at BRENT.
I wish I knew why THE BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM want to pick a fight with the Minneapolis Star Tribune. By THEIR OWN ADMISSION, "[o]ver the years the Star Tribune has published many of the columns that Rocket Man and I have submitted to the paper as op-ed columns." By THIS definition, they're professionals. They can use their contacts to grease their skids. I have never been paid to write in my life, and this is what I'm up against. When the PROFESSOR linked to me I stopped criticizing him. If any paper printed me as many times as I suspect the Star Tribune has printed THE BLOGGERS OF THE MILLENNIUM I would NOT criticize it, out of sheer loyalty. There are a lot of us LITTLE GUYS who will NEVER get professionally published. The TWXSTERS have already knighted you. I DON'T CARE HOW BAD NICK COLEMAN IS, PLEASE SHUT UP FOR A WHILE ABOUT THE STAR TRIBUNE.
NEUHARTHISM OF THE WEEK:
A VINTAGE YEAR FOR GROWN-UP FARE!!!!!
Sorta like 1939, the YEAR YOU WERE BORN -- RIGHT SOB?
In fairness, nowhere does Claudia Pig -- er, PUIG use the word "vintage" in her puff piece. Happily she more than makes up for it by citing ten "best" films" and five "worst." ALL HAIL THE LORD GOD AL!!!!!
A VINTAGE YEAR FOR GROWN-UP FARE!!!!!
Sorta like 1939, the YEAR YOU WERE BORN -- RIGHT SOB?
In fairness, nowhere does Claudia Pig -- er, PUIG use the word "vintage" in her puff piece. Happily she more than makes up for it by citing ten "best" films" and five "worst." ALL HAIL THE LORD GOD AL!!!!!
LITTLE-GUY HUGH keeps saying MMMMMMMSSSSSSSMMMMMMM are being WALLOPED.
HAS ST. WARREN BOUGHT INTO BLOGS?
And don't mention His purchase of Toenail.com. That's SUPER-LIBERAL CW on the WEB. And don't mention CRAIGSLIST. It may have taken want ads, but THE HACKS STILL CONTROL BILLIONS.
HAS ST. WARREN BOUGHT INTO BLOGS?
And don't mention His purchase of Toenail.com. That's SUPER-LIBERAL CW on the WEB. And don't mention CRAIGSLIST. It may have taken want ads, but THE HACKS STILL CONTROL BILLIONS.
WELL! Here's something to make NEWS HACKS go WHEW!
Experts: Tsunami Kills Few Animals
And let us keep in mind, even if the final death toll is double or triple the estimated 60,000-plus, India's population alone is 1,065,070,607. Asia will survive.
Experts: Tsunami Kills Few Animals
And let us keep in mind, even if the final death toll is double or triple the estimated 60,000-plus, India's population alone is 1,065,070,607. Asia will survive.
ST. WARREN'S CHERUBIM come up with a question off the top of their heads -- should Dubya have been relaxing, or should he have made 500 trips during A TIME OF CRISIS?
There are enough meddlers overseas. What this CRISIS does not demand is FLYING PRESIDENTS.
And we can be sure if he did fly, these SAME cherubim would have issued a story headlined:
Is Bush Spreading Himself Too Thin in Asian Crisis?
We will always know where ST. WARREN'S blessings lie.
There are enough meddlers overseas. What this CRISIS does not demand is FLYING PRESIDENTS.
And we can be sure if he did fly, these SAME cherubim would have issued a story headlined:
Is Bush Spreading Himself Too Thin in Asian Crisis?
We will always know where ST. WARREN'S blessings lie.
"I'VE BEEN MISINTERPRETED!!!!!!!!!!"
No you weren't. We pay for a lot of your puzzle palace's graft, your bungling, your insolence, your scofflawing, your all but getting away with murder. You still hate us. MORON.
No you weren't. We pay for a lot of your puzzle palace's graft, your bungling, your insolence, your scofflawing, your all but getting away with murder. You still hate us. MORON.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
News hacks successfully buried this story in their haste to run pictures of Indians crying. The human suffering has been awful (although a tiny fraction of the two world wars, which did not require earthquakes); but no one can doubt the afflicted nations will survive, and prosper -- just so long as they can keep the LEAGUE OF NATIONS from getting its GRAFTY PAWS into EVERYTHING.
WHY I HATE NEWS HACKS, PART 45,206: News hacks love to say one thing when they mean another. This TOENAIL.COM scribble is one of the classics. Clearly Jake and his boys want us out of Iraq, to suffer a humiliating defeat that would bolster their egos; but they can't quite admit that (although any news organization that could say RONALD REAGAN IS GOING TO HELL and get rewarded by CITIGROUP, TOYOTA, AMEX, JCPENNEY, etc., etc., ETC. can say ANYTHING), so they engage in the kind of sideways shuffle and statistical legerdemain that only makes people mad because as they struggle to read it they become convinced NEWS HACKS ARE UP TO NO GOOD AGAIN. Jake, if you want us out of Iraq, SAY SO. And now that you'll be employed by ST. WARREN OF BUFFETT you have the veritable equivalent of a CIVIL-SERVICE JOB: you can't be fired EVEN FOR CAUSE.
SHUCKS:
Nathan Lane Quits London Producers Due to Back Injury
LAST LINE OF STORY:
For tickets to the London production, call (0)870 890 1109.
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
Nathan Lane Quits London Producers Due to Back Injury
LAST LINE OF STORY:
For tickets to the London production, call (0)870 890 1109.
Pffh-hh-hh hh hh hh hh hh ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!
It is, of course, the MUSICAL GENIUS of OUR TIME -- from THE DARKNESSES, the FRANZ FERDINANDS, the KANYEWESTS, etc., etc., ETC -- that causes MICHAEL FEINSTEINS to all but burst into tears at the VANDALISM MGM did our culture when it dumped tons of "JUNK" into a landfill, junk that many people can't get enough of -- especially now, in THIS PLATINUM AGE OF POP.
To be sure, most of the newly-uncovered work will be second-rate, but second-rate music from yesteryear is still better than TODAY'S TWO-HUNDREDTH-RATE MASTERWORKS.
To be sure, most of the newly-uncovered work will be second-rate, but second-rate music from yesteryear is still better than TODAY'S TWO-HUNDREDTH-RATE MASTERWORKS.
A new management fad: CEOs GOOGLING themselves.
I guess they've finally learned how to use computers.
Meanwhile, e-mail addresses such as bill@gates.com are commonly used by people with no connection to the Microsoft founder. And some sites show a photo of him getting pie in the face and update his net worth with each fluctuation of Microsoft stock.
Some of the information is true. Much isn't: www.billgatesisdead.com reports that Gates was assassinated in 1999.
Obviously USAOKAY!!!!! never heard his body was taken over by a space alien.
ERRRRRRRRRR....
(SORRY, BUGMEISTER BILL!)
I guess they've finally learned how to use computers.
Meanwhile, e-mail addresses such as bill@gates.com are commonly used by people with no connection to the Microsoft founder. And some sites show a photo of him getting pie in the face and update his net worth with each fluctuation of Microsoft stock.
Some of the information is true. Much isn't: www.billgatesisdead.com reports that Gates was assassinated in 1999.
Obviously USAOKAY!!!!! never heard his body was taken over by a space alien.
ERRRRRRRRRR....
(SORRY, BUGMEISTER BILL!)
Here's another one for the ZILLIONAIRE LAZYBONES in MOUNTAIN VIEW: rewrite the G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER TERMS OF SERVICE to SPECIFICALLY PROHIBIT POP-UPS -- and to FURTHER PROHIBIT DISTRIBUTION OF SPYWARE OR MALWARE ON PAIN OF PERMANENT BANISHMENT.
This won't happen. Look how long it took MOUNTAIN VIEW'S SNOOZERS to IMPROVE G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER'S PERFORMANCE.
Amazing what pushing the NEXT BLOG button will do.
This won't happen. Look how long it took MOUNTAIN VIEW'S SNOOZERS to IMPROVE G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER'S PERFORMANCE.
Amazing what pushing the NEXT BLOG button will do.
SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS are human after all: A number of the BROTHERHOOD OF HIGH HITS have said, if only they'd had sensors -- they might have saved lives! But with the waves coming on at 500 MPH and striking up to A MILE INLAND many people were doomed as it was -- and a SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER ADMITS IT.
Speaking of which, is it me or are we seeing an awful lot of pictures of grieving relatives? One wonders if the news hacks outnumber the relief workers.
The Sri Lankan cricket team's problems are far worse than previously imagined, with four players now personally affected by the impact of devastating tsunamis on their homeland.
I think it's about more than the Sri Lankan cricket team.
I think it's about more than the Sri Lankan cricket team.
As this IDIOT HACK from THE PAPER OF RE-CORD BOSTON EDITION INSPIRED me I'm going to look up ALL THE @#$%&* ACTS HE LISTED. (Sorry, this is what a blogger should NOT be -- LONG.)
Franz Ferdinand (cute name. The archduke whose assassination started The Great War? Their fans don't know that. I suspect the band members don't know that.) has a VERY BUSY site. Much as I'd like to I can't copy their PREGNANT bio because it's in Macromedia Flash format, but here is the conversation that STARTED A BAND AND CHANGED THE WORLD:
"Do you want to play the bass then, Bob?"
"No, I'm an artist, not a musician."
"It's the same thing."
"OK, then."
Already they were steeped in self-delusion, which should serve them well as they scale the charts.
Kanye West -- pardon, kanYeWest -- is a [C]RAPPER who loves ugly gold jewelry. But let the infinite suck-up JANN WENNER speak for him:
With the multiplatinum success of his debut album, The College Dropout, Kanye West, 27, had one hell of a freshman year in the music biz. Well, not exactly a freshman year -- he's been scoring major hits since 2001 as a producer for Jay-Z, Alicia Keys, Ludacris and others. "Kan the Louis Vuitton Don" -- as he likes to be called -- proved his utter domination by ruling the charts, the radio waves and MTV. He checked in with us on the day he received ten Grammy nominations, more than any other artist this year.
TRANSLATION: He stinks and has a following.
Los Lonely Boys are up-and-comers -- they're performing at halftime of the VITALIS BOWL on December 31! They also have four Grammy nominations, which undoubtedly means they've thanked their publicists in their latest acknowledgements.
(Pardon, I meant SUN BOWL. Isn't Vitalis the stuff Dickie V slathers on his scalp?)
The Streets are BRITISH [C]RAPPERS. Sorry Tony, I think it's too late for the empire.
Gretchen Wilson is a "country" act, meaning (as it does for all contemporary "country" stars) she sings rock with a southern accent. She does seem to have enjoyed some success -- she sold an alleged 3,000,000 copies of one album -- but:
Gretchen joins Christina Aguilera, Lauryn Hill, Avril Lavigne, Britney Spears, Alanis Morissette and six other talented women whose debut albums hit the three million mark within six months of their release dates.
This may not be a compliment. Also she boasts she appeared on 60 Minutes, which means her publicists know the streak may not last, and given the excellence of today's music they're wise to hedge their bets. But then she did milk the tone-deaf marketing managers at Target into having her sing for some Christmas commercials, so you could say she has a "business" sense.
Scissor Sisters -- well, let's let an always-willing-to-do-a-favor British flack speak for them:
No one had heard of the group before but a quick listen revealed an outfit who ... well, who sounded like early Elton John. Who had the nerve to cover Pink Floyd as if Pink Floyd had been disco queens. Who revelled at the prospect of taking their 'mama' out for a night on the town to swill cheap champagne.... the Scissor Sisters have won the praise of rock grandees including Elton John and Bono (who told them they are the best pop group in the world); sold 1.3 million copies of their album in the UK, as they jostle with Keane and Katie Melua to become the biggest-selling act of the year; written Kylie Minogue's new single; and played to a rapturous reception at all the major festivals this summer, followed by barn-storming sell-out shows at the Albert Hall and (for Halloween) Brixton. So perhaps they did take our advice.
Either way, that's pretty good going for a band that has only been together for two years and is more camp than a row of tents. This has hindered their progress in their native America, where they remain a cult group....
OH oh.
Coheed and Cambria is a "Progressive-emo" band, meaning (judging from this site) "it takes the foundation and pushes the limits. Occasionally they push to the point where they may lose the very fans they've just won over." WELL! They also like comic books and they're working on A GRAPHICAL NOVEL -- meaning they can write without writing! WOW!!!!! (In fairness their latest album was released through Sony Music -- no vanity press for THEIR music!)
The Dresden Dolls call their shtick "Brechtian Punk Cabaret." NUF SAID.
Madeleine Peyroux alone sounds relatively normal -- she sings what one HACK has called CLASSIC POP -- but even here there's a catch:
Jim Manion [whoever that is] enthuses that "Madeleine Peyroux's voice explores a zone all her own that lies between rootsy and classy. Rough edged expressions and subtle tonal slides mix it up with soulful torch singing, pregnant pauses and a true sense of swing."
Does this mean she mangles the tunes?
I will admit these acts have done something most of us will never do -- sell records. But since when do you need talent to sell records? BILLY MURRAY sold them. MITCH MILLER sold them. FABIAN sold them. VANILLA ICE sold them. More to the point, I'd scarcely heard of these ACTS until this IDIOT HACK mentioned them -- and just because you have a Web site doesn't mean people have heard of you. (Gretchen Wilson's Sony-produced site is 111,482 on Alexa.) We can at least understand MRS. SLUT'S success because she has some looks, and a brilliant regiment of agents. Where would she be without her mammoth GALL?
Fans of these show-biz giants could challenge me by citing my previous post on Dr. Kildare's bus-and-truck company. "Who are these jerks? I never heard of ANY of these!" True, it just might be the reverse of my situation with these FORMIDABLE acts. Then again, we have Alfred Drake on his cast album of Kismet, and we have Harold Lang recording Pal Joey -- both among the greatest of musical albums, both issued over FIFTY YEARS AGO, and NOT out of print, and they never will be. We who love these albums can say with certainty these two men had more talent then ten thousand kanYeWests. That kanYe's or the Scissors' or Gretchen's is the music of the moment, endorsed by NEWS HACKS, does not change this. We have the sad tale of Mencken's beloved novelist Joseph Hergesheimer to tell us what can happen to press-endorsed GENIUS.
Franz Ferdinand (cute name. The archduke whose assassination started The Great War? Their fans don't know that. I suspect the band members don't know that.) has a VERY BUSY site. Much as I'd like to I can't copy their PREGNANT bio because it's in Macromedia Flash format, but here is the conversation that STARTED A BAND AND CHANGED THE WORLD:
"Do you want to play the bass then, Bob?"
"No, I'm an artist, not a musician."
"It's the same thing."
"OK, then."
Already they were steeped in self-delusion, which should serve them well as they scale the charts.
Kanye West -- pardon, kanYeWest -- is a [C]RAPPER who loves ugly gold jewelry. But let the infinite suck-up JANN WENNER speak for him:
With the multiplatinum success of his debut album, The College Dropout, Kanye West, 27, had one hell of a freshman year in the music biz. Well, not exactly a freshman year -- he's been scoring major hits since 2001 as a producer for Jay-Z, Alicia Keys, Ludacris and others. "Kan the Louis Vuitton Don" -- as he likes to be called -- proved his utter domination by ruling the charts, the radio waves and MTV. He checked in with us on the day he received ten Grammy nominations, more than any other artist this year.
TRANSLATION: He stinks and has a following.
Los Lonely Boys are up-and-comers -- they're performing at halftime of the VITALIS BOWL on December 31! They also have four Grammy nominations, which undoubtedly means they've thanked their publicists in their latest acknowledgements.
(Pardon, I meant SUN BOWL. Isn't Vitalis the stuff Dickie V slathers on his scalp?)
The Streets are BRITISH [C]RAPPERS. Sorry Tony, I think it's too late for the empire.
Gretchen Wilson is a "country" act, meaning (as it does for all contemporary "country" stars) she sings rock with a southern accent. She does seem to have enjoyed some success -- she sold an alleged 3,000,000 copies of one album -- but:
Gretchen joins Christina Aguilera, Lauryn Hill, Avril Lavigne, Britney Spears, Alanis Morissette and six other talented women whose debut albums hit the three million mark within six months of their release dates.
This may not be a compliment. Also she boasts she appeared on 60 Minutes, which means her publicists know the streak may not last, and given the excellence of today's music they're wise to hedge their bets. But then she did milk the tone-deaf marketing managers at Target into having her sing for some Christmas commercials, so you could say she has a "business" sense.
Scissor Sisters -- well, let's let an always-willing-to-do-a-favor British flack speak for them:
No one had heard of the group before but a quick listen revealed an outfit who ... well, who sounded like early Elton John. Who had the nerve to cover Pink Floyd as if Pink Floyd had been disco queens. Who revelled at the prospect of taking their 'mama' out for a night on the town to swill cheap champagne.... the Scissor Sisters have won the praise of rock grandees including Elton John and Bono (who told them they are the best pop group in the world); sold 1.3 million copies of their album in the UK, as they jostle with Keane and Katie Melua to become the biggest-selling act of the year; written Kylie Minogue's new single; and played to a rapturous reception at all the major festivals this summer, followed by barn-storming sell-out shows at the Albert Hall and (for Halloween) Brixton. So perhaps they did take our advice.
Either way, that's pretty good going for a band that has only been together for two years and is more camp than a row of tents. This has hindered their progress in their native America, where they remain a cult group....
OH oh.
Coheed and Cambria is a "Progressive-emo" band, meaning (judging from this site) "it takes the foundation and pushes the limits. Occasionally they push to the point where they may lose the very fans they've just won over." WELL! They also like comic books and they're working on A GRAPHICAL NOVEL -- meaning they can write without writing! WOW!!!!! (In fairness their latest album was released through Sony Music -- no vanity press for THEIR music!)
The Dresden Dolls call their shtick "Brechtian Punk Cabaret." NUF SAID.
Madeleine Peyroux alone sounds relatively normal -- she sings what one HACK has called CLASSIC POP -- but even here there's a catch:
Jim Manion [whoever that is] enthuses that "Madeleine Peyroux's voice explores a zone all her own that lies between rootsy and classy. Rough edged expressions and subtle tonal slides mix it up with soulful torch singing, pregnant pauses and a true sense of swing."
Does this mean she mangles the tunes?
I will admit these acts have done something most of us will never do -- sell records. But since when do you need talent to sell records? BILLY MURRAY sold them. MITCH MILLER sold them. FABIAN sold them. VANILLA ICE sold them. More to the point, I'd scarcely heard of these ACTS until this IDIOT HACK mentioned them -- and just because you have a Web site doesn't mean people have heard of you. (Gretchen Wilson's Sony-produced site is 111,482 on Alexa.) We can at least understand MRS. SLUT'S success because she has some looks, and a brilliant regiment of agents. Where would she be without her mammoth GALL?
Fans of these show-biz giants could challenge me by citing my previous post on Dr. Kildare's bus-and-truck company. "Who are these jerks? I never heard of ANY of these!" True, it just might be the reverse of my situation with these FORMIDABLE acts. Then again, we have Alfred Drake on his cast album of Kismet, and we have Harold Lang recording Pal Joey -- both among the greatest of musical albums, both issued over FIFTY YEARS AGO, and NOT out of print, and they never will be. We who love these albums can say with certainty these two men had more talent then ten thousand kanYeWests. That kanYe's or the Scissors' or Gretchen's is the music of the moment, endorsed by NEWS HACKS, does not change this. We have the sad tale of Mencken's beloved novelist Joseph Hergesheimer to tell us what can happen to press-endorsed GENIUS.
I never got around to Reggie White's death at the ungodly age of 43 because as with Asia's calamity there was little to say -- by all accounts he was a great athlete, and a great guy. Thing is, even the best of today's athletes live only in highlight reels, and those who played before the highlight reels live only in you hadda be there. Beethoven never wore a helmet or shoulder pads -- he probably wouldn't have looked very good in them -- but we still hear and honor his music (though not for much longer if NEWS HACKS and LEGENDARY DAVIS use their WILES). No knock on Reggie White, but any age destined to live only in highlight reels is destined to irrelevance.
Thankfully we DO have THE DARKNESS, FRANZ FERDINAND, KANYE WEST, LOS LONELY BOYS, MADELEINE PEYROUX, THE STREETS, GRETCHEN WILSON, THE SCISSOR SISTERS, COHEED & CAMBRIA, AND BOSTON'S DRESDEN DOLLS!!!!!
AND ALL THAT GREAT THEA-TAH!!!!!!!!!!
Thankfully we DO have THE DARKNESS, FRANZ FERDINAND, KANYE WEST, LOS LONELY BOYS, MADELEINE PEYROUX, THE STREETS, GRETCHEN WILSON, THE SCISSOR SISTERS, COHEED & CAMBRIA, AND BOSTON'S DRESDEN DOLLS!!!!!
AND ALL THAT GREAT THEA-TAH!!!!!!!!!!
And in the THEA-TAH, MORE GENIUS!!!!!
I guess I'm one of those "glass half full" people, because what impresses me about 2004 is how much good theater there has been.
It didn't seem that way much of the time....
I love when people write like that, because you can break off after the second sentence and not have to read the rest. But this WAS, we must admit, a landmark year for the THEA-TAH -- with shows like...DRACULA, THE MUSICAL!!!!!
What did I say about definite articles and nouns?
I guess I'm one of those "glass half full" people, because what impresses me about 2004 is how much good theater there has been.
It didn't seem that way much of the time....
I love when people write like that, because you can break off after the second sentence and not have to read the rest. But this WAS, we must admit, a landmark year for the THEA-TAH -- with shows like...DRACULA, THE MUSICAL!!!!!
What did I say about definite articles and nouns?
MUSIC IS BETTER THAN EVER!!!!!
CREATIVELY, IT WAS A FORMIDABLE YEAR!! RARELY HAVE THERE BEEN SO MANY TALENTED BREAKOUT ACTS, INCLUDING THE DARKNESS, FRANZ FERDINAND, KANYE WEST, LOS LONELY BOYS, MADELEINE PEYROUX, THE STREETS, GRETCHEN WILSON, THE SCISSOR SISTERS, COHEED & CAMBRIA, AND BOSTON'S DRESDEN DOLLS!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
If things were so formidable, STEVE (or should we say for-mee-DAHH-bluh), why were CD sales up by a staggering TWO PERCENT, and why was "the concert business...off by a whopping 30 percent"? HUH?????
CREATIVELY, IT WAS A FORMIDABLE YEAR!! RARELY HAVE THERE BEEN SO MANY TALENTED BREAKOUT ACTS, INCLUDING THE DARKNESS, FRANZ FERDINAND, KANYE WEST, LOS LONELY BOYS, MADELEINE PEYROUX, THE STREETS, GRETCHEN WILSON, THE SCISSOR SISTERS, COHEED & CAMBRIA, AND BOSTON'S DRESDEN DOLLS!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!
If things were so formidable, STEVE (or should we say for-mee-DAHH-bluh), why were CD sales up by a staggering TWO PERCENT, and why was "the concert business...off by a whopping 30 percent"? HUH?????
Monday, December 27, 2004
A SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER and BIG-NAME TALK SHOW HOST quotes one blogger --
...in the aggregate, the vast hordes of small blogs with a few dozen readers are more important than the small number of big blogs with hundreds of thousands of readers....
after quoting another:
What I want to know is, when can I buy shares in InstaPundit ?
I think we can guess who a SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER and BIG-NAME TALK SHOW HOST would be rooting for.
PLEASE Hugh, don't give me this HOOEY about the LITTLE GUY. MMMMMMMSSSSSSSMMMMMMM is all about BEING GOLIATH.
WHO WANTS TO BE A LITTLE GUY?
...in the aggregate, the vast hordes of small blogs with a few dozen readers are more important than the small number of big blogs with hundreds of thousands of readers....
after quoting another:
What I want to know is, when can I buy shares in InstaPundit ?
I think we can guess who a SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGER and BIG-NAME TALK SHOW HOST would be rooting for.
PLEASE Hugh, don't give me this HOOEY about the LITTLE GUY. MMMMMMMSSSSSSSMMMMMMM is all about BEING GOLIATH.
WHO WANTS TO BE A LITTLE GUY?
As Playbill.com has no risible revivals or dead-man's revues to tout I should mention that our local Merriam Theater Bus and Truck Stop (the only thing missing is the Phillips 66, and that's only because they don't sell it in these parts -- but you can still get gas there) has a new fume maker: something called SCROOGE -- THE MUSICAL. (Beware any title that has a definite article and a common noun. TWILIGHT ZONE -- THE MOVIE!!!!!) This one stars the aged Dr. Kildare in the title role. I mean, what did he ever have besides boyish good looks and a tinny voice? But he's at a truck stop, the same one in where Bob Goulet emitted some profitable carbon monoxide exhuming South Pacific, and we gotta FILL 'ER UP. I've mentioned before this place housed Kiss Me, Kate in tryouts (today they'd call it Taming of the Shrew -- THE MUSICAL, which might prompt Cole Porter to get back on that horse and break some more bones), and to mention the names, which are unjustly forgotten among the STUPIDS -- Alfred Drake, Patricia Morison, Harold Lang, Lisa Kirk -- now THERE magic was more than an ad-blurb copywriter's adjective. Who who had anything better to do would shell out his ducats to spend three hours squirming in his seat watching terminally chirpy waiters making too much noise with too little charm resuscitating a thirty-five year old score (music and lyrics: Leslie Bricusse!), while Dr. Kildare impersonates acting? At least OLIVER! has excellent, stirring songs, and a touch of humanity. What I would give to troop about ten blocks from here to the Erlanger (now a car-rental lot) to see Rex Harrison and Julie Andrews trying out My Fair Lady! Who would choose this instead? And how can any NEWS HACK, faced with such GENIUS, say with a straight face we live in a PLATINUM AGE OF ENTERTAINMENT?
But they do, and they will, and meantime more buses and trucks will vroom into the Merriam Bus and Truck Stop, and the Academy of Music Bus and Truck Stop, and the Forrest Theater Bus and Truck Stop, and countless other bus-and-truck stops throughout the nation, and stink up the culture. Where's Rachel Carson when we NEED her?
But they do, and they will, and meantime more buses and trucks will vroom into the Merriam Bus and Truck Stop, and the Academy of Music Bus and Truck Stop, and the Forrest Theater Bus and Truck Stop, and countless other bus-and-truck stops throughout the nation, and stink up the culture. Where's Rachel Carson when we NEED her?
Again, CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES suffer from ITCHY FINGERS and EMPTY HEADS.
Say guys, wouldn't it have been better to just distribute a link to the Web site, as in:
GOLDENPALACE.COM!!!!!!!!!!
And next time guys, add some flashing letters and ARROWS.
Did we only get TWO ROLLS-ROYCES for CHRISTMAS, Tom?
Say guys, wouldn't it have been better to just distribute a link to the Web site, as in:
GOLDENPALACE.COM!!!!!!!!!!
And next time guys, add some flashing letters and ARROWS.
Did we only get TWO ROLLS-ROYCES for CHRISTMAS, Tom?
The Chinese-language Web site of fast food giant McDonald's Corp. was broken into twice on Christmas by a hacker protesting against its listing of Taiwan as a separate country, the Beijing Youth Daily said Monday.
Mickey D's being one of THE WORLD'S MOST PC COMPANIES I'm sure that's been taken care of ALREADY.
Mickey D's being one of THE WORLD'S MOST PC COMPANIES I'm sure that's been taken care of ALREADY.
Count on the VAST INTERNATIONAL BLOGGING MACHINE and all the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS to TALKTALKTALK about something inexpressible -- in this case the great earthquake near Indonesia, and the tsunami that followed. I've a hunch when the island of Sumatra moves 100 feet that is somehow beyond mere words.
IMMORTALITY:
Todd: I can tell you that throughout the project, especially with interim milestones, we had some periods when application compatibility was near zero. We took some radical steps and said, OK, this is definitely [breaking apps]. Now, how can we tweak that ... and preserve some form of application compatibility?
Paul: Did you end up having to do a lot of per-app ...
Todd: Shims?
Paul: Yeah.
Todd: There are a couple of things I hate to do. One is shortcuts and hacks. Every time someone would bring in an app shim, we would say, let's take a step back and look at this. Are you just shimming that application, or are you shimming a symptom? Let's look at a core fix, or a core change, or a Group Policy setting, or something other than an app-by-app fix.
Ryan: If you don't look at it Todd's way, the platform's scale just screws us. If you do that one shim for just one app, there are probably in the ballpark of ten other apps or more that you're missing. And you're not going to know what they are. It could be a custom application in France, or Singapore. We're not getting visibility into [all the apps out there], so you have to fix it the right way.
Some years back a PAPER OF RE-CORD writer did a New Republic piece in which all he did was quote the very garbled remarks of Nelson Rockefeller at a press conference -- and headed them "Lincoln." Why am I thinking, how can anything important emerge from vaporous Dilbertian shop talk like this?
IDIOT HED OF THE MONTH:
JOHN KERRY'S FAVORITE TERRORISTS KIDNAP 10 TOURISTS!!!!!!!!!!
SHUT UP, DAVID HOROWITZ!!!!!
JOHN KERRY'S FAVORITE TERRORISTS KIDNAP 10 TOURISTS!!!!!!!!!!
SHUT UP, DAVID HOROWITZ!!!!!
Hey THANKS, FATSO! Now Big Pharma really WILL clam up!
Of course it weren't too smart for SLEAZEBALL TAUZIN's new employers to say be on the lookout for "a scruffy guy in a baseball cap," because now he can DISGUISE HIMSELF. It may be TOUGH though to camouflage those POUNDS.
Of course it weren't too smart for SLEAZEBALL TAUZIN's new employers to say be on the lookout for "a scruffy guy in a baseball cap," because now he can DISGUISE HIMSELF. It may be TOUGH though to camouflage those POUNDS.
Sunday, December 26, 2004
HEY PAPER OF RE-CORD CLOWNS, do we really need THE HAMMER-ON-ANVIL IRONIC APPROACH in reviewing that mammoth anthology of New Yorker cartoons? PINCH will stop at NOTHING to lay into the EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL of Red Country. And doesn't writing HEAVILY IRONICALLY about NEW YORKER CARTOONS TAINT a very good thing, the one thing that overrated rag has (until recently) done CONSISTENTLY WELL?
I'm further disappointed because Walter Kirn's a decent writer too. SHUT UP, PINCH!
I'm further disappointed because Walter Kirn's a decent writer too. SHUT UP, PINCH!
SAMMY GLICKMAN AND HIS CONSPIRACY believe a movie can be -- not created, or produced, but CALCULATED. Last year we got AUDREY'S MONSTER, a mammoth assemblage of product placements and tie-ins whose enormous success seems to have dried up the demand for Dr. Seuss trinkets. This year, it's The LEMON Man, who must be leaving a SOUR TASTE in SUMNER. (Who says it's an UNFORTUNATE EVENT? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!) To be sure, GE Bancorp's all-star gear meshing at the top of the list means there will be more movies made for the sole purpose of subtracting money from the always gullible MOVIEGOING S&M PHREAKS (certainly the BIZ doesn't make them to entertain, or to live -- whoever heard of doing a thing like THAT?????); but the reason this has been such a BAD YEAR for FILM is that the BATTERY may be RUNNING OUT on the CALCULATOR.
And how does it feel (sorry to mention his name again) to be LORD LLOUD WUBBISH, at what should be the APEX OF A LONG AND DISTINGUISHED CAREER, facing the HORDES SCREAMING OUT OF THE TORTURE CHAMBERS?
And how does it feel (sorry to mention his name again) to be LORD LLOUD WUBBISH, at what should be the APEX OF A LONG AND DISTINGUISHED CAREER, facing the HORDES SCREAMING OUT OF THE TORTURE CHAMBERS?
Seems ol' tax-evading mistress-trading friend of Rudy's was quite an administrator TOO.
Guess this means RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!! finally heard about JUDITH REGAN.
I see Rudy's chances sinking, SINKING....
Guess this means RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!! finally heard about JUDITH REGAN.
I see Rudy's chances sinking, SINKING....
On July 11 at the Pennsylvania Convention Center, NAACP chairman Julian Bond rose to address the 95th annual convention of the nation's largest and oldest civil rights organization.
Bond excoriated President Bush and the Republicans, accusing the party of appealing "to the dark underside of American culture" and relying on "the politics of racial division to win elections."
Since that evening in Philadelphia, a lot has changed in the world of the NAACP, and most of it for the worse.
You don't suppose it had anything to do with OPENING YOUR BIG FAT MOUTH, JUUUUUUUUUULIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Bond excoriated President Bush and the Republicans, accusing the party of appealing "to the dark underside of American culture" and relying on "the politics of racial division to win elections."
Since that evening in Philadelphia, a lot has changed in the world of the NAACP, and most of it for the worse.
You don't suppose it had anything to do with OPENING YOUR BIG FAT MOUTH, JUUUUUUUUUULIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?
Argentina's Economic Rally Defies Forecasts
GEN. PINOCHET DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh wait, he ran CHILE. Argentina, Chile, who's to tell between nations with ACCENTS?
GEN. PINOCHET DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh wait, he ran CHILE. Argentina, Chile, who's to tell between nations with ACCENTS?
CHUCKIE wants to be KING. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
"A lot has happened since the (Queen’s) coronation in 1953. There will be a large number of differences. I don’t mind the word modernising," said the Duke of Norfolk, who as earl marshal will organise Charles’s coronation.
Yeah. Which means LORD ELTON and LORD McCARTNEY and LORD LLOUD WUBBISH as his MUSIC MAKERS -- and no mention of a fella named GOD.
All it needs is OPRAH as EXEC PRODUCER, but she's already queen -- of A HUNDRED UNIVERSES.
"A lot has happened since the (Queen’s) coronation in 1953. There will be a large number of differences. I don’t mind the word modernising," said the Duke of Norfolk, who as earl marshal will organise Charles’s coronation.
Yeah. Which means LORD ELTON and LORD McCARTNEY and LORD LLOUD WUBBISH as his MUSIC MAKERS -- and no mention of a fella named GOD.
All it needs is OPRAH as EXEC PRODUCER, but she's already queen -- of A HUNDRED UNIVERSES.
The bad news: as I said before, fans masquerading as seats will see this year's OSCAR® nominees. The good news: because of this, the ad-blurb copywriters think they're GREAT.
Remember the name, someone called Strauss of the LALA Daily Nooz. This guy writes his waltzes with two left feet.
Remember the name, someone called Strauss of the LALA Daily Nooz. This guy writes his waltzes with two left feet.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
The FRENCH -- investigating OSAMA'S FAMILY? And the REUT -- REPORTING ON IT?????
Theh's somethin' SCWEWY goin' on awound heah!
Theh's somethin' SCWEWY goin' on awound heah!
Bad news for PETA -- fur sales are UP.
I'm on PETA's side. Why club all those defenseless animals for an overpriced shag coat that rots easily?
I'm on PETA's side. Why club all those defenseless animals for an overpriced shag coat that rots easily?
And here's betting that show-biz LOSES audience the more it tries to DUMB ITSELF DOWN. We're seeing that in the MOVIE BIZ. Why do so many would-be LOUIE MAYERS think things like VIDEO GAMES are their SALVATION?
I think we need at least SIXTEEN MORE MEALY-MOUTHED FRONT-PAGE THUMBSUCKERS ABOUT THE NBA.
Mike obviously tried to do OMERTA'S boys one better by wanting to paint this EDGY shtick as a RACIAL thing. OMERTA'S boys got it right by painting it as a MARKETING thing, and where there's MARKETING, nothing else matters, not even THE LAW. With BOTH stories, we got more AUTOMATIC TYPING.
Mike obviously tried to do OMERTA'S boys one better by wanting to paint this EDGY shtick as a RACIAL thing. OMERTA'S boys got it right by painting it as a MARKETING thing, and where there's MARKETING, nothing else matters, not even THE LAW. With BOTH stories, we got more AUTOMATIC TYPING.
And of course, what Christmas would be complete without -- THE PAPER OF RE-CORD -- REVIEWING -- THE YULE LOG!!!!!
(What TV were you using, PAPER OF RE-CORD?)
And now some photos -- which will disappear in thirty days, courtesy of Yahoo!:
The national Christmas tree at the Capitol;
A Christmas tree in Kiev's Independence [!] Square (the orange, the caption alerts us, is the official color of Viktor Yushchenko);
Have to use the caption here:
Jenny Richardson (L) and Mathew Bailey from England sit next to a small Christmas tree on a cold and windy Christmas Day, at Sydney's Bondi Beach, December 25, 2004. The crowd was smaller on Sydney's famous Bondi Beach this year due to poor weather and an alcohol ban on the beach. REUTERS/David Gray
Choosing a Christmas tree in -- Tehran;
A Christmas tree in Arbil, Iraq;
A Christmas tree "in the center square of Stavropol, Russia";
Mecys Vaitkevicius sits in his home decorated for Christmas with 100 plastic Christmas trees and 35,000 electric light bulbs, in the village of Simaniskes, some 100 km (62 miles) east of the Lithuanian capital, Vilnius, Thursday, Dec. 23, 2004. Vaitkevicius, a retired engineer, has made it a holiday habit to turn his modest house into a shrine of lights for himself and his friends. (AP Photo/Mindaugas Kulbis)
In Jerusalem's Old City;
And finally (again a caption here):
U.S. Army's 1st. Cavalry Division Sergeant Victor Cordero, from the Dominican Republic, chats with a comrade (obscured) near a Christmas tree at the Cuervo Forward Operating Base in eastern Baghdad, December 24, 2004. U.S. 1st Cavalry Division soldiers celebrated Christmas Eve at their heavily guarded base in the Iraqi capital and all shared a common wish of going back home soon. REUTERS/Faleh Kheiber
AMEN!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
(More to come, if I feel like it.)
The national Christmas tree at the Capitol;
A Christmas tree in Kiev's Independence [!] Square (the orange, the caption alerts us, is the official color of Viktor Yushchenko);
Have to use the caption here:
Jenny Richardson (L) and Mathew Bailey from England sit next to a small Christmas tree on a cold and windy Christmas Day, at Sydney's Bondi Beach, December 25, 2004. The crowd was smaller on Sydney's famous Bondi Beach this year due to poor weather and an alcohol ban on the beach. REUTERS/David Gray
Choosing a Christmas tree in -- Tehran;
A Christmas tree in Arbil, Iraq;
A Christmas tree "in the center square of Stavropol, Russia";
Mecys Vaitkevicius sits in his home decorated for Christmas with 100 plastic Christmas trees and 35,000 electric light bulbs, in the village of Simaniskes, some 100 km (62 miles) east of the Lithuanian capital, Vilnius, Thursday, Dec. 23, 2004. Vaitkevicius, a retired engineer, has made it a holiday habit to turn his modest house into a shrine of lights for himself and his friends. (AP Photo/Mindaugas Kulbis)
In Jerusalem's Old City;
And finally (again a caption here):
U.S. Army's 1st. Cavalry Division Sergeant Victor Cordero, from the Dominican Republic, chats with a comrade (obscured) near a Christmas tree at the Cuervo Forward Operating Base in eastern Baghdad, December 24, 2004. U.S. 1st Cavalry Division soldiers celebrated Christmas Eve at their heavily guarded base in the Iraqi capital and all shared a common wish of going back home soon. REUTERS/Faleh Kheiber
AMEN!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
(More to come, if I feel like it.)
The REAL Baghdad Bob sticks with his boss -- and writes a book too!
For this man (and I believe he is a Christian) there could only be ONE ideal Christmas gift -- HIMSELF.
For this man (and I believe he is a Christian) there could only be ONE ideal Christmas gift -- HIMSELF.
Even on Christmas Day CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES don't take a break from DUBIOUS TYPING.
And a lump of coal in YOUR stocking, TOM. (I can imagine HIS Christmas gifts -- three Rolls-Royces, a private jet....)
And a lump of coal in YOUR stocking, TOM. (I can imagine HIS Christmas gifts -- three Rolls-Royces, a private jet....)
Friday, December 24, 2004
I know I'll never be as omnipotent as STERNO -- heck, I'll be happy if I ever get a hundred visits a day -- but I do hope you read me, and that I make you think. I fear most of my hits are automatic or accidental. I hope somebody out there is clicking on my musings intentionally.
Just discovered this double whammy from Wednesday on the usually reliable PaidContent.org:
Buzz Machine Tops Sorgatz's List For Blog Of The Year: "For being a spokesman against cultural censorship, Buzz Machine is my blog of the year." Sure, it's just one among many such lists or #1 claims but Rex Sorgatz does it so well. (This is where I should mention that paidContent is #15 on the list of 26 "for scouring a wide range of topics between business and technology." Thanks, Rex.) Of course, this is the same guy who predicted President Howard Dean when he put the Dean campaign blog at the top of last year's list.
Which came a few posts before:
Not The End Of Free After All: So much for the death of free content. The Online Journal's Carl Bialik writes of ways that free content has taken root or is increasing buoyed by the surge in online advertising and by evolving strategies. "End of Free" blogger Oliver Travers tells Bialik, "Free is certainly making a huge comeback these last 12 to 18 months."Bialik notes that a number of news organizations were pushing the "end of free" message in the post-bubble-burst era. In a nice touch, he includes the Journal, which ran two special reports in early 2002 "casting doubt on the business plans of ad-supported Web sites, with one lead article headlined 'No More Free Lunch' and another stating, 'The Web as store is a hit. The Web as billboard is a flop.'
So much for sweeping prognostication.
WHAT DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW?
Buzz Machine Tops Sorgatz's List For Blog Of The Year: "For being a spokesman against cultural censorship, Buzz Machine is my blog of the year." Sure, it's just one among many such lists or #1 claims but Rex Sorgatz does it so well. (This is where I should mention that paidContent is #15 on the list of 26 "for scouring a wide range of topics between business and technology." Thanks, Rex.) Of course, this is the same guy who predicted President Howard Dean when he put the Dean campaign blog at the top of last year's list.
Which came a few posts before:
Not The End Of Free After All: So much for the death of free content. The Online Journal's Carl Bialik writes of ways that free content has taken root or is increasing buoyed by the surge in online advertising and by evolving strategies. "End of Free" blogger Oliver Travers tells Bialik, "Free is certainly making a huge comeback these last 12 to 18 months."Bialik notes that a number of news organizations were pushing the "end of free" message in the post-bubble-burst era. In a nice touch, he includes the Journal, which ran two special reports in early 2002 "casting doubt on the business plans of ad-supported Web sites, with one lead article headlined 'No More Free Lunch' and another stating, 'The Web as store is a hit. The Web as billboard is a flop.'
So much for sweeping prognostication.
WHAT DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW?
Blue Country reviews Walt Disney's Mary Poppins. Blue Country is not amused.
I would not expect different from THE PAPER OF RE-CORD and a veteran of Toenail.com, but jeez, here's why we can't expect truthful writing from the ad-blurb copywriters: they're not merely from another planet, they're from another planet in a parallel universe. I've not seen Mary Poppins since its theatrical release and doubt that it's that good, but I do recall it was entertaining. Most people who saw it no doubt found it entertaining. Unfortunately these days the only way a movie gets raves from the blurbists is if it's VIOLENT, and DARK, and -- EDGY (I HATE THAT WORD!!!!!), and confirms that ALL WISDOM RESIDES IN LIBERALS. This pile of words only confirms the essential hermetically-sealed nature of ad-blurbists, a phenomenon proved for all time when the LEGENDARY Pauline Kael belched that she didn't know anyone who voted for Nixon. To be sure, it's not just liberals; after P. R. MEL and his WHAP!!!!!FEST I know I don't trust con-SER-va-tive ad-blurbists like Michael "The Ninny" Medved because they have cement helmets for skulls guarding the hollow core where their brains should be, just as with liberals; but the liberals are worse because they're INESCAPABLE.
Besides, it can't be that bad if THE BRITISH like it, though it be transmuted to the stage by LORD SCHLOCKINTOSH.
I would not expect different from THE PAPER OF RE-CORD and a veteran of Toenail.com, but jeez, here's why we can't expect truthful writing from the ad-blurb copywriters: they're not merely from another planet, they're from another planet in a parallel universe. I've not seen Mary Poppins since its theatrical release and doubt that it's that good, but I do recall it was entertaining. Most people who saw it no doubt found it entertaining. Unfortunately these days the only way a movie gets raves from the blurbists is if it's VIOLENT, and DARK, and -- EDGY (I HATE THAT WORD!!!!!), and confirms that ALL WISDOM RESIDES IN LIBERALS. This pile of words only confirms the essential hermetically-sealed nature of ad-blurbists, a phenomenon proved for all time when the LEGENDARY Pauline Kael belched that she didn't know anyone who voted for Nixon. To be sure, it's not just liberals; after P. R. MEL and his WHAP!!!!!FEST I know I don't trust con-SER-va-tive ad-blurbists like Michael "The Ninny" Medved because they have cement helmets for skulls guarding the hollow core where their brains should be, just as with liberals; but the liberals are worse because they're INESCAPABLE.
Besides, it can't be that bad if THE BRITISH like it, though it be transmuted to the stage by LORD SCHLOCKINTOSH.
Tony has been so busy saving the world he has a worse attendance record than did JOHN KERRY.
We still like you, Tony, but then you're not OUR PM.
We still like you, Tony, but then you're not OUR PM.
And speaking of EDGY, HIP-HOP, and AAAAAAAATTITUUUUUUUUUDE, I see the PR boys are selling this one, which means it'll be a flat-out unmitigated BORE, and typical of a low-scoring, defense-laden, EDGY, HIP-HOP GAME WITH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTITUUUUUUDE.
More intrepid searching for what the hacks insist is news:
You can deck the halls with holly, but the tree, these days, is likely to be made of plastic.
Among Americans who put up a Christmas tree, a majority — 58 percent in the latest ABC News/Washington Post poll — say they use an artificial tree rather than a real one. That's a sharp increase from 40 percent in a Gallup poll 15 years ago.
Growers have noticed: The National Christmas Tree Association is running a game called "Attack of the Mutant Artificial Trees" on its Web site, with instructions that say, "The artificial trees have mutated and are sucking the spirit out of Christmas. Help the elf beat these bad guys by hitting them with snowballs!"
Yes but you can't beat the smell of real plastic.
You can deck the halls with holly, but the tree, these days, is likely to be made of plastic.
Among Americans who put up a Christmas tree, a majority — 58 percent in the latest ABC News/Washington Post poll — say they use an artificial tree rather than a real one. That's a sharp increase from 40 percent in a Gallup poll 15 years ago.
Growers have noticed: The National Christmas Tree Association is running a game called "Attack of the Mutant Artificial Trees" on its Web site, with instructions that say, "The artificial trees have mutated and are sucking the spirit out of Christmas. Help the elf beat these bad guys by hitting them with snowballs!"
Yes but you can't beat the smell of real plastic.
Still as those who've had to consume NEWS HACKERY know, there are good kinds of EDGY and bad kinds. RUMMY is a BAD kind. Only we don't call him EDGY. We call him RED-STATE, REPUBLICAN, CONSERVATIVE, and, of course, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVIL.
But then most news hacks are so courageous they'd go fleeing from a war zone so fast they'd make Superman look like a burrowing snail.
P. S. CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES are MAD again because the soldiers asked "FRIENDLY QUESTIONS." Hey Curley! Let's sneak a NEWS HACK in another Q-&-A. That should do WONDERS for your REPS.
But then most news hacks are so courageous they'd go fleeing from a war zone so fast they'd make Superman look like a burrowing snail.
P. S. CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES are MAD again because the soldiers asked "FRIENDLY QUESTIONS." Hey Curley! Let's sneak a NEWS HACK in another Q-&-A. That should do WONDERS for your REPS.
Another NEWS HACK CONUNDRUM: [C]RAP is GENIUS FOR THE AGES, and most of the HOOPS PRIMA-DONNAS are SUPERMILLIONAIRES (something we can relate to, as more than a few of our own know big bucks); but if the music and the prima-donnas get too tight it might lead to -- THINGS THAT DON'T LOOK GOOD.
Happily we decided before we let our fingers do the talking. The NBA'S EDGY, and EDGY is a CODE WORD FOR WE LIKE IT.
Two clues that we're dealing with idiots: some "marketing consultant" says it's okay to alienate the "over-40 crowd" (he should know; he's negotiated enough DEALS with ADVERTISERS), and "[t]wo NBA sponsors — the International Dairy Foods Assn. and Nestle — did not return calls for this article." Smashing.
P. S. Thanks, OMERTA, for the EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT. Already we're annoyed and Santa hasn't even arrived. BAH HUMBUG to you.
Happily we decided before we let our fingers do the talking. The NBA'S EDGY, and EDGY is a CODE WORD FOR WE LIKE IT.
Two clues that we're dealing with idiots: some "marketing consultant" says it's okay to alienate the "over-40 crowd" (he should know; he's negotiated enough DEALS with ADVERTISERS), and "[t]wo NBA sponsors — the International Dairy Foods Assn. and Nestle — did not return calls for this article." Smashing.
P. S. Thanks, OMERTA, for the EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT. Already we're annoyed and Santa hasn't even arrived. BAH HUMBUG to you.
Thursday, December 23, 2004
The whole nation is, of course, delighted to have them home for Christmas. But that does not stop the French public - and the media - from asking the $64,000 question: did France buy the release of its two hostages in Iraq?
OR:
[W]e forget that the phrase "millions for defense, not a penny for tribute" stemmed from America's refusal to acquiesce to French shakedowns during the XYZ affair. And we also forget, by the way, that the phrase, "Herr Kommandant! The Jews are hiding in those woods right over there!" was a wildly popular phrase in France in the early 1940s.
Herr Kommandant! The craven fools are hiding in the government RIGHT OVER THERE!
OR:
[W]e forget that the phrase "millions for defense, not a penny for tribute" stemmed from America's refusal to acquiesce to French shakedowns during the XYZ affair. And we also forget, by the way, that the phrase, "Herr Kommandant! The Jews are hiding in those woods right over there!" was a wildly popular phrase in France in the early 1940s.
Herr Kommandant! The craven fools are hiding in the government RIGHT OVER THERE!
OH oh, Dubya's gonna nominate -- EXTREMISTS TO THE BENCH!!!!!
Even worse -- they're THE SAME EXTREMISTS AS BEFORE!!!!!
SIC 'EM, DEMS!!!!! (PFFH-HH-HH!)
Even worse -- they're THE SAME EXTREMISTS AS BEFORE!!!!!
SIC 'EM, DEMS!!!!! (PFFH-HH-HH!)
CURLEY'S (Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!) STOOGES take time off from their ANGER IN IRAQ to transcribe a six-graf PRESS RELEASE about how sexy Bill Murray looks in his Speedo.
WHAT NEWS HACKS DON'T SPIN, THEY SELL.
WHAT NEWS HACKS DON'T SPIN, THEY SELL.
Most of our 2.4 million military men and women will be unable to go home for the holidays.
Well I SURE AM SORRY about that. Maybe they ought to desert.
Of course not very terribly many people get to start their own PR-and-SPIN plaything with which to bark commands at their INFERIORS. RIGHT SOB?
Well I SURE AM SORRY about that. Maybe they ought to desert.
Of course not very terribly many people get to start their own PR-and-SPIN plaything with which to bark commands at their INFERIORS. RIGHT SOB?
Stolen gold and silver discs won by Ozzy Osbourne's band Black Sabbath were recovered after thieves dumped them behind trash cans.
Is there symbolism here?
P. S. Two other stolen discs were offered for sale on All People Are Basically Good.com.
Is there symbolism here?
P. S. Two other stolen discs were offered for sale on All People Are Basically Good.com.
Ford Motor Co. is recalling its $140,000 Ford GT supercar to repair a defect that could cause loss of control.
You'd think the people who own this piece of tin would welcome the defect -- it's a new driving challenge.
You'd think the people who own this piece of tin would welcome the defect -- it's a new driving challenge.
The number of Americans who rely on news outlets like NewsMax.com, the Drudge Report and FreeRepublic.com has jumped by 33 percent in just the last the two years....
HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!!!!
HEAD FOR THE HILLS!!!!!
THE FRENCH WATER WORKS MAN who left the faucet running with the drain still plugged up is looking for other companies to ruin.
That should be easy: a fool and his money are easily parted, and the more money he has the more easily the fool's parted.
That should be easy: a fool and his money are easily parted, and the more money he has the more easily the fool's parted.
The Washington Times pays tribute to an outstanding public servant, outgoing Secretary of Energy Spencer Abraham.
Outstanding energy secretaries, a smooch from the Second Lady -- yes, I think THE BLOG OF THE MILLENNIUM IS GOING PLACES!!!!!
Outstanding energy secretaries, a smooch from the Second Lady -- yes, I think THE BLOG OF THE MILLENNIUM IS GOING PLACES!!!!!
Dec. 22, 2004 | Conservative bloggers suggested Monday that an Associated Press photographer was complicit with militants who executed three Iraqi election workers on Baghdad's dangerous Haifa Street on Sunday. They accused the photographer of knowing in advance that the executions were to take place; rather than warn the authorities, they insinuated, the photojournalist went after the disturbing story and images to shock readers and smear the Bush administration's war effort.
Want to read the rest of this article and all of Salon for FREE?
NO.
Want to read the rest of this article and all of Salon for FREE?
NO.
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Professional sports monomaniacs learn a new shakedown trick: the tax reappraisal!
And if you don't give us the break, we'll demand another stadium that depreciates!
And if you don't give us the break, we'll demand another stadium that depreciates!
The exact opposite of the defeat-mongering of NEWS HACKS in Iraq is the rose-colored-glasses gang largely working the Web. I can't believe things are going THAT well with all the bombings; nevertheless it serves a purpose for news hacks to play up the negative, a purpose from which they seem unwilling to swerve -- the ultimate return of THEIR PARTY -- DEMOCRATS -- to the WHITE HOUSE and CONGRESS. That the Iraqis have not swayed from holding elections on January 30 is a sign of progress. One hopes, though, for progress to come from more than rituals around the ballot box.
FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION -- that was to be the intellectual panacea for all time, the Cleveland Wrecking Company crew of the mind knocking down -- inhibitions. Who could know the wrecking company would be followed by construction crews putting up mighty censorial edifices of their own? Who could know the relatively mild censorship for social reasons would be followed by the deadly strain of political correctness, the McCarthyism of the left? With a supposed bad replaced by a definite worse, no wonder people speak of freedom of expression in tones reserved for a state funeral.
Well, here's some news to the hacks' liking:
Dangers drive U.S. contractor out of Iraq
Va.-based firm was under contract to rebuild transportation systems
U. S....VA....VIETNAM!!!!!
BUT:
The company is a subsidiary of Orascom Construction Industries, an Egypt-based conglomerate....
Think there might be more than LOCAL DANGERS at work here?
Dangers drive U.S. contractor out of Iraq
Va.-based firm was under contract to rebuild transportation systems
U. S....VA....VIETNAM!!!!!
BUT:
The company is a subsidiary of Orascom Construction Industries, an Egypt-based conglomerate....
Think there might be more than LOCAL DANGERS at work here?
And from ANOTHER rave review for Lord Lloud Wubbish:
The freaked-out cast and crew dub this man a ghost. Christine just calls him her "angel of music," which is true in much the same way that Howard Stern is the king of all media.
STERNO!!!!!!!!!! HE'S ATTACKING YOUR GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S ANTI-RELIGIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (PFFH-HH-HH!)
The credits for "The Phantom of the Opera" insist that Andrew Lloyd Webber authored these tunes. But they come crashing through the speakers with such punishing force that it wouldn't be wrong to think Jerry Bruckheimer might have written them.
Which is just as well; Jerry Dreckheimer is the Lord Lloud Wubbish of film.
The freaked-out cast and crew dub this man a ghost. Christine just calls him her "angel of music," which is true in much the same way that Howard Stern is the king of all media.
STERNO!!!!!!!!!! HE'S ATTACKING YOUR GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S ANTI-RELIGIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (PFFH-HH-HH!)
The credits for "The Phantom of the Opera" insist that Andrew Lloyd Webber authored these tunes. But they come crashing through the speakers with such punishing force that it wouldn't be wrong to think Jerry Bruckheimer might have written them.
Which is just as well; Jerry Dreckheimer is the Lord Lloud Wubbish of film.
OoooooOOOOOOOOooooooooh, A. O. with B. O. is TETCHY:
"Far too many notes for my taste," sniffs one of the proprietors of the Opéra Populaire in "The Phantom of the Opera." I quite agree. He is talking about the threatening messages that the control-freak phantom (Gerard Butler) is sending to various members of the company, but his complaint applies perfectly to the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber, whose relentless bombast afflicts this movie like a bad case of swollen lymph nodes.
Of course, Lord Lloyd Webber's music is the whole point of the film, and Joel Schumacher, the director, does his best to find a visual style to match the vulgarity and pretentiousness of the soundtrack. He succeeds admirably....
So much for the revenge -- er, the RETURN of the FILM MUSICAL.
"Far too many notes for my taste," sniffs one of the proprietors of the Opéra Populaire in "The Phantom of the Opera." I quite agree. He is talking about the threatening messages that the control-freak phantom (Gerard Butler) is sending to various members of the company, but his complaint applies perfectly to the music of Andrew Lloyd Webber, whose relentless bombast afflicts this movie like a bad case of swollen lymph nodes.
Of course, Lord Lloyd Webber's music is the whole point of the film, and Joel Schumacher, the director, does his best to find a visual style to match the vulgarity and pretentiousness of the soundtrack. He succeeds admirably....
So much for the revenge -- er, the RETURN of the FILM MUSICAL.
The idea that people will come back to network news to protest the extreme talking heads won't wash. There is a vast audience for neutral, non-partisan TV news -- heaven knows we're tired of the food fights, especially now that they've spread to the truth-telling BLOGGERS -- but where would the reporters and anchorpoops come from? Where they usually come from: the DO factories and J-schools and newspapers that have given us BIAS before. Neutral, non-partisan news won't happen because too many people have an axe to grind.
Comedians forming a UNION?
That's the funniest joke most of them have ever told.
Long hours, low pay -- plus the food isn't so hot when they toss it at you.
That's the funniest joke most of them have ever told.
Long hours, low pay -- plus the food isn't so hot when they toss it at you.
Analysts guess Washington Post paid $15M-$20M for Slate
That's a LOT for toenail fungus and AAAAAAAATTITUUUUUUUUDE.
That's a LOT for toenail fungus and AAAAAAAATTITUUUUUUUUDE.
This automatic typist does his pal BRENTCORP one better by saying they nominated Pulp Fiction, they nominated Martin's whack job on Jesus, they nominated Titanic and Olly, so hey, they can nominate this. Maybe that's why movies stink -- people MUST ALWAYS offer up EXCUSES.
Another problem with automatic typists is that they type when they don't have to -- in this case, excepting these accidental words:
The Passion is just a sadomasochistic bloodbath with quasi-religious overtones.
Why bother testing your keyboard when you've summed up everything in ONE SENTENCE?
Then again, I could sum the con-SER-va-tive's favorite movie up in one word:
WHAP!!!!!!!!!!
Another problem with automatic typists is that they type when they don't have to -- in this case, excepting these accidental words:
The Passion is just a sadomasochistic bloodbath with quasi-religious overtones.
Why bother testing your keyboard when you've summed up everything in ONE SENTENCE?
Then again, I could sum the con-SER-va-tive's favorite movie up in one word:
WHAP!!!!!!!!!!
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
OH oh, JONAH has SENSE?!?!?
I just don't buy it. If you think taking two minutes a day (at most) to sign letters to the families of the fallen is a needless distraction, fine. But if that's the case you should be more outraged when Rumsfeld goes out to dinner and has a long meal. And what about his visits to Walter Reed is that a waste of his time? You should also be cross with President Bush for taking the time out of his day to sign similar letters. Didn't Lincoln write countless letters by hand to families of the fallen while he was working to preserve the Union.
I'm open to more facts. It may be a snafu, where Rumsfeld simply inherited a policy or some such. Maybe he wanted his signature to look its best. Who knows? I also agree that the get-Rumsfeld crowd is using this to, uh, get Rumsfeld. And it would be tragic if this alone were used to topple him.
But I really don't think it's a trivial thing. An aide writes and prints the letter and Rumsfeld gets a stack every other day or so. He signs them between 9:00 AM and 9:02 AM. Done deal.
JONAH HAS SENSE.
I just don't buy it. If you think taking two minutes a day (at most) to sign letters to the families of the fallen is a needless distraction, fine. But if that's the case you should be more outraged when Rumsfeld goes out to dinner and has a long meal. And what about his visits to Walter Reed is that a waste of his time? You should also be cross with President Bush for taking the time out of his day to sign similar letters. Didn't Lincoln write countless letters by hand to families of the fallen while he was working to preserve the Union.
I'm open to more facts. It may be a snafu, where Rumsfeld simply inherited a policy or some such. Maybe he wanted his signature to look its best. Who knows? I also agree that the get-Rumsfeld crowd is using this to, uh, get Rumsfeld. And it would be tragic if this alone were used to topple him.
But I really don't think it's a trivial thing. An aide writes and prints the letter and Rumsfeld gets a stack every other day or so. He signs them between 9:00 AM and 9:02 AM. Done deal.
JONAH HAS SENSE.
HOLY WARRIORS LAUNCH ATTACK: KOS BLAMES BUSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
little has a big audience; Kos has a big audience. Do these clowns get into these WWE matches as a means of confirming each other's MEGAEGO? It can't be for any other reason because they ANNOY THE LIVING HELL OUT OF US.
One other thing, little -- you make it sound as though our soldiers died so that Kos could scream. From someone who bleeds red, white and blue I find that vaguely distasteful, no matter how profitable it is for you.
little has a big audience; Kos has a big audience. Do these clowns get into these WWE matches as a means of confirming each other's MEGAEGO? It can't be for any other reason because they ANNOY THE LIVING HELL OUT OF US.
One other thing, little -- you make it sound as though our soldiers died so that Kos could scream. From someone who bleeds red, white and blue I find that vaguely distasteful, no matter how profitable it is for you.
Errrrrrrrrr....
Creator Eric Idle, in the show's announcement, promises it will be "almost as good as anything else opening in Chicago that week."
Which is probably more true than he thinks -- but as I said before, this is going to be a smash no matter how bad it is (and I've no doubt it WILL be bad) because it's opening in Chicago, debut territory of the second coming of CH -- THE PRODUCERS, because the people who pay hundreds of bucks to see Broadway's theme parks want to believe, and because the news hacks, who want to praise anything, want doubly to believe. This much is certain: the fourth or fifth time someone attempts a parody musical based on a movie parody, people may finally find it not-so-funny.
This much too is certain - it is marginally better than ALL SHOOK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!
Creator Eric Idle, in the show's announcement, promises it will be "almost as good as anything else opening in Chicago that week."
Which is probably more true than he thinks -- but as I said before, this is going to be a smash no matter how bad it is (and I've no doubt it WILL be bad) because it's opening in Chicago, debut territory of the second coming of CH -- THE PRODUCERS, because the people who pay hundreds of bucks to see Broadway's theme parks want to believe, and because the news hacks, who want to praise anything, want doubly to believe. This much is certain: the fourth or fifth time someone attempts a parody musical based on a movie parody, people may finally find it not-so-funny.
This much too is certain - it is marginally better than ALL SHOOK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!
THIS GUARANTEES WE'LL NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT: News hacks are dancing tonight because they can finally make a big deal of that terrible arson attack in Maryland. Why? Because it "fits" into what the late Michael Kelly called their "template." Why? "The six [accused] men are white, while many of the families moving into the new houses are black." WELL, if we're going to be HONEST, news hacks (which we could not be even face to face with God), we'll admit the last shtick we tried, the environmental extremism shtick, was apparently false also. Let's just say these are idiots, and idiots will set fires.
Andrew Sullivan goes on vacation and his blog gets better!
I don't take this as a cute joke, like the Professor (although most likely that was the intent). No, I take it as a damning comment on what happens when a blogger gets a reputation and an audience and goes on cruise control -- like nearly ALL the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS. Because they're guaranteed the attention they can write whatever they damned well please -- and whatever they write does not please and is not written WELL. But Andy and his pals in megalomania will continue because there are SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS -- and no one else.
I don't take this as a cute joke, like the Professor (although most likely that was the intent). No, I take it as a damning comment on what happens when a blogger gets a reputation and an audience and goes on cruise control -- like nearly ALL the SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS. Because they're guaranteed the attention they can write whatever they damned well please -- and whatever they write does not please and is not written WELL. But Andy and his pals in megalomania will continue because there are SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS -- and no one else.
Another POLL of news-gathering habits:
[E]very source has fallen somewhat since 2002, with only news on the Internet gaining, from 15% going there every day two years ago to 20% doing so today.
Some sources dropped heavily: National newspapers are off 4%, from 11% to 7%; NPR is off 5%; local TV news is down 6%; network news down 7%; and PBS news plunged 8%. In that company, local newspapers are doing fairly well, only dropping 3%. Cable news dropped 2%.
But MORE PEOPLE GET THEIR NEWS FROM THE IF-IT-BLEEDS-IT-LEADS LOCAL DO'S THAN FROM ANY OTHER SOURCE!
That's comforting.
[E]very source has fallen somewhat since 2002, with only news on the Internet gaining, from 15% going there every day two years ago to 20% doing so today.
Some sources dropped heavily: National newspapers are off 4%, from 11% to 7%; NPR is off 5%; local TV news is down 6%; network news down 7%; and PBS news plunged 8%. In that company, local newspapers are doing fairly well, only dropping 3%. Cable news dropped 2%.
But MORE PEOPLE GET THEIR NEWS FROM THE IF-IT-BLEEDS-IT-LEADS LOCAL DO'S THAN FROM ANY OTHER SOURCE!
That's comforting.
As expected, ST. WARREN OF BUFFETT BUYS TOENAIL.COM!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMEN!!!!!
Readers are likely to notice little, if any, change in the magazine.
We didn't think so, Jake. You'll still be the same nose-in-the-air table-pounding condescending cutesy-pieing ironically dissembling SUPER-LIBERAL doofuses as before.
Readers are likely to notice little, if any, change in the magazine.
We didn't think so, Jake. You'll still be the same nose-in-the-air table-pounding condescending cutesy-pieing ironically dissembling SUPER-LIBERAL doofuses as before.
Today THE THUNDERING BLOGGERS OF THE CENTURY!!!!!!!!!! THUNDER ABOUT THE "THUNDERING HERD" THUNDERING ABOUT RUMMY AND HIS AUTOPEN. Here is another case of two wrongs. Just because newshacks are reliably unreliable in supporting our military, just because they're blatant hypocrites with an obsession over appearances, just because they could teach the SS how to goosestep, doesn't mean Rummy can get away with his autopen gag, however "SYMBOLIC" it is. He SHOULD pay attention to signing these letters, even IF NEWS HACKS DON'T OR PRIOR SECDEFS (gotta talk like BLOGGERS OF THE CENTURY) HAVEN'T.
How apt that THIS OFFICIAL PRESS RELEASE runs on the day of THIS MEGASPIN.
I HATE NEWS HACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE NEWS HACKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I pointed this out back in May, but my name isn't PAUL DRECK and I'm not SAMMY GLICKMAN'S SOCK PUPPET, so no one noticed that WITHOUT THE FLUKE HITS OF P. R. MEL AND P. R. MIKE, MOVIE ATTENDANCE IS DOWN CLOSE TO TEN PERCENT THIS YEAR!!!!!
MOVIES ARE BETTER THAN EVER!!!!!
MOVIES ARE BETTER THAN EVER!!!!!
Back over a year ago, when Ah-NULT wasn't going to run, con-SER-va-tives talked themselves into believing he was just like them. Now that Ah-NULT has said some things con-SER-va-tives profess to be annoyed. Hey buddies, it was YOUR daydreaming that helped elect him.
Support for Iraq war slipping
TRANSLATION: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
Isn't the election over?
TRANSLATION: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
Isn't the election over?
Monday, December 20, 2004
I'm VERY impressed, Jonah, by this research into the names people give soft drinks, but I would have been more impressed had the researchers been able to spell "respondent."
BUT THEN IT WOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT INTO THE CORNER!!!!!
BUT THEN IT WOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT INTO THE CORNER!!!!!
Kids at YMCA swim meet run into cross-dressing ball
Hey what did they expect at the YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-M-C-A!
The Ys are glorified welfare organizations and health spas that serve no real purpose. Lots of people work in them who don't want to know what the letters once stood for. Let's see, YMCA -- we can't call it YOUNG beause that's AGEIST, and we can't call it MEN'S because that's SEXIST, and we can't call it CHRISTIAN because that's AN ESTABLISHMENT OF RELIGION. I'VE GOT IT! WE'LL CALL IT THE A!!!!!
Which I will do the next time these dimwitted orgs make the news. I've also a pretty good idea what I will call the people who pull the next stunt like this.
Hey what did they expect at the YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY-M-C-A!
The Ys are glorified welfare organizations and health spas that serve no real purpose. Lots of people work in them who don't want to know what the letters once stood for. Let's see, YMCA -- we can't call it YOUNG beause that's AGEIST, and we can't call it MEN'S because that's SEXIST, and we can't call it CHRISTIAN because that's AN ESTABLISHMENT OF RELIGION. I'VE GOT IT! WE'LL CALL IT THE A!!!!!
Which I will do the next time these dimwitted orgs make the news. I've also a pretty good idea what I will call the people who pull the next stunt like this.
Gore Vidal's New Civil War Play, On the March to the Sea, Gets Premiere at Theater Previews in NC, Feb. 22, 2005
Let me guess: Gore blames the Civil War on -- Dubya, and -- RIGHT-WING RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS, and -- JEWS...AND...
It's opening in DUKIELAND! Home of Dickie V and PC! Hey Dickie! THEY RHYME!!!!!
Let me guess: Gore blames the Civil War on -- Dubya, and -- RIGHT-WING RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS, and -- JEWS...AND...
It's opening in DUKIELAND! Home of Dickie V and PC! Hey Dickie! THEY RHYME!!!!!
BONEHEADED, LUNKHEADED, ONLY-A-NEWS-HACK-COULD-HAVE-THOUGHT-OF-IT HED OF THE DAY:
WE FEEL HIS PAIN (cover-page hed)
I'd rather feel his wallet.
WE FEEL HIS PAIN (cover-page hed)
I'd rather feel his wallet.
EEEEEAAAAARRRRRTTTTTHHHHHQQQQQQUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAKKKKKEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
If I start covering the blogs, that's all I'll ever do, and I know I'll get confused between fact and fiction. A lot of blogging is fiction. I don't want to write things that aren't true but might stick in my mind as if they are. And how could I get the column written with the sort of stuff I like to put into it?
I notice that some of my excellent editors, bless their hearts, are sensitive to and alarmed by material I want to reprint from the Internet. They get paid to be suspicious. Bloggers, you know, are not apt to be sued, so they can be as fractious as they like. Newspapers don't like getting sued. I leave it to my famous colleagues to blog, and may the best sorter-outer of blog gossip win!
Yes, a lot of bloggers tell fibs. But then, so do a lot of MAINSTREAM JERNALISTS. For my part I find it hard to discern the truth when SO MANY PEOPLE ON BOTH SIDES SPEND THEIR TIME TYPING BEFORE A MIRROR.
And lest we forget, YOUR job, LIZ, is NOT GOSSIP -- IT'S P. R. If blogging can drive PRESS RELEASES and their FLAGRANT DISHONESTY UNDERGROUND, SO MUCH THE BETTER.
If I start covering the blogs, that's all I'll ever do, and I know I'll get confused between fact and fiction. A lot of blogging is fiction. I don't want to write things that aren't true but might stick in my mind as if they are. And how could I get the column written with the sort of stuff I like to put into it?
I notice that some of my excellent editors, bless their hearts, are sensitive to and alarmed by material I want to reprint from the Internet. They get paid to be suspicious. Bloggers, you know, are not apt to be sued, so they can be as fractious as they like. Newspapers don't like getting sued. I leave it to my famous colleagues to blog, and may the best sorter-outer of blog gossip win!
Yes, a lot of bloggers tell fibs. But then, so do a lot of MAINSTREAM JERNALISTS. For my part I find it hard to discern the truth when SO MANY PEOPLE ON BOTH SIDES SPEND THEIR TIME TYPING BEFORE A MIRROR.
And lest we forget, YOUR job, LIZ, is NOT GOSSIP -- IT'S P. R. If blogging can drive PRESS RELEASES and their FLAGRANT DISHONESTY UNDERGROUND, SO MUCH THE BETTER.
I must confess ever since POWER LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! got its BLOGGER OF THE CENTURY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! award from THE TWXSTERS I've been discouraged, a feeling compounded by all the talk about "little bloggers." Doing the awwwwwwwwwww to little bloggers is like Goliath lending a helping hand to David. I'm sure the POWER LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! boys no more care for all the thousands of bloggers typing in obscurity than I care for them. The one hope is that computer technology is the great equalizer -- but how far does that go when nobody reads you? No, the media biz is all about MMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMMM and the rest of us. I'm tired of being part of the rest of us.
I see too that this SUPEREST of SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS has found WONKETTE, much as STERNO found BRENT. Some people are MADE for each other.
I see too that this SUPEREST of SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS has found WONKETTE, much as STERNO found BRENT. Some people are MADE for each other.
IS THE GLIBERAL'S FAVORITE TV SHOW GOING, er, SOUTH????? Probably not. But you have to wonder when you lose a fifth of your core audience in two weeks. You also wonder if with so many people acquiring a visceral hatred of mass media whether it's as easy to build a fad as it used to be. Doubtful as well, but you have to wonder further still if all that LIBERAL PUNDIT TALK ABOUT HYPOCRITES has helped.
Hey JONAH! Doesn't THIS belong in THE CORNER?
And she SAW THE PICTURE. Yes, THIS DEFINITELY BELONGS IN THE CORNER.
(OR to put it correctly, THISS DEFANATELY BE-LONGS INN TH CORRNER.)
And she SAW THE PICTURE. Yes, THIS DEFINITELY BELONGS IN THE CORNER.
(OR to put it correctly, THISS DEFANATELY BE-LONGS INN TH CORRNER.)
Turns out the FIRST-AMENDMENT DESTROYING JOHN ASHCROFT was the meekest of mice in prosecuting pornography.
This is the kinder, gentler, mushier, jellyfishier Dubya.
This is the kinder, gentler, mushier, jellyfishier Dubya.
The "all people are basically good" people purchase another halo in India.
Okay, maybe the government's action was extreme, but to act as though you people are pure -- please. You pull enough comedy every day in your listings.
Okay, maybe the government's action was extreme, but to act as though you people are pure -- please. You pull enough comedy every day in your listings.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
This B. O. weekend had a nice LEMONY smell to it -- down almost 26% from last year!
This sort of thing's happened a LOT lately. You don't suppose moviegoers are getting -- INTELLIGENT? Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
OKAY, CGI Tolkien opened this time last year. But still if movies are as GREAT as the ad-blurb copywriters SAY you'd expect the B. O. to go UP -- as it has NOT for MOST weekends since September.
This sort of thing's happened a LOT lately. You don't suppose moviegoers are getting -- INTELLIGENT? Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
OKAY, CGI Tolkien opened this time last year. But still if movies are as GREAT as the ad-blurb copywriters SAY you'd expect the B. O. to go UP -- as it has NOT for MOST weekends since September.
Ohhhhhhhhhh, to enjoy the season with NEWSMAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:
Here's another gift for you! (WHAP!) And another! (WHAP!) And ANOTHER! (WHAP!!!!!)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO thank you.
Naughty Santa jokes may be funnier, though.
Here's another gift for you! (WHAP!) And another! (WHAP!) And ANOTHER! (WHAP!!!!!)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO thank you.
Naughty Santa jokes may be funnier, though.
And speaking of Dems, ya gotta love MSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Maxine Waters. She keeps it ALL IN THE FAMILY.
Ka-CHINNNNNNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ka-CHINNNNNNG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A bunch of Dems goes to the PAPER OF RE-CORD BAR to down a few stiff ones while complaining of Dubya's perfidy.
Oh well, the GOP has the Congress, but hey! You'll ALWAYS have PINCH.
Oh well, the GOP has the Congress, but hey! You'll ALWAYS have PINCH.
Jill Stewart, a California-based columnist, says her state's "intolerance toward Christmas is just another reason why Californians and residents of other blue states are viewed by the heartland crowd as hostile, godless types who can't stand regular folks."
Not entirely true. Californians do have great respect for people's RIGHTS.
Not entirely true. Californians do have great respect for people's RIGHTS.
Meantime, over at MR. MARK'S BLUNDER, they're seeing PURPLE. Aside from this having JONATHAN's grimy hands all over it (and the unspoken notion that by going purple we HOPE SOMEDAY the nation returns to its BLUE senses again), purple is an unhealthy color. It's the color you assume after holding your breath for two minutes. We will not hold our breaths expecting MR. MARK ever to say anything nice about the color RED.
There would be no significance to Time's PERSON of the Year shtick except that people must speculate about it for weeks, and that (one supposes) should drive SALES, which explains why the newsrags' circulation has been FLAT for YEARS.
That said, how could the TWXSTERS have chosen anyone else, like him or not?
I see these clowns have also named a BLOG OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, which confirms SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS are now in the MMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMM just like everybody else. The good thing is the TWXSTERS notice lots of trends after they've peaked. We can only hope.
That said, how could the TWXSTERS have chosen anyone else, like him or not?
I see these clowns have also named a BLOG OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, which confirms SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS are now in the MMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSSMMMMMMMM just like everybody else. The good thing is the TWXSTERS notice lots of trends after they've peaked. We can only hope.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
BRANSON: MY PLOT TO STOP IRAQ WAR
Tycoon planned to fly Mandela into Iraq to persuade Saddam into exile
Sorry, many virgins do it better.
Tycoon planned to fly Mandela into Iraq to persuade Saddam into exile
Sorry, many virgins do it better.
What is the difference between a multinational like, say, Unilever and Frankenstein's monster?
Many con-SER-va-tives would liken multinationals to JESUS.
Many con-SER-va-tives would liken multinationals to JESUS.
We might feel sorry for this very popular graphical novelist -- er, COMIC BOOK creator -- who's filed for bankruptcy until we jump to the bottom of the story:
In 1999, McFarlane paid $3 million for Mark McGwire's 70th home-run baseball. He also paid $450,000 last year for Barry Bonds' record 73rd home-run ball and owns Sammy Sosa's 66th home-run ball.
Be careful, Todd. They might be covered with STEROIDS.
In 1999, McFarlane paid $3 million for Mark McGwire's 70th home-run baseball. He also paid $450,000 last year for Barry Bonds' record 73rd home-run ball and owns Sammy Sosa's 66th home-run ball.
Be careful, Todd. They might be covered with STEROIDS.
Oops! THE PAPER OF RE-CORD admits the LEAGUE OF NATIONS may be ADDING TO THE FUN in CONGO.
No, I don't think the pigs are in V formation over midtown Manhattan yet.
No, I don't think the pigs are in V formation over midtown Manhattan yet.
Seeing lots of very cutely attired young girls coming out the Academy of Music after a Nutcracker matinee, I thought, they won't dress up again until they're married -- if then.
WE DEMS WANT ANSWERS FROM RUMSFELD ON ARMOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No doubt many asking the questions don't know what armor is -- they probably think it's those neat metal suits worn by knights -- but by gum they (and CURLEY'S [Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!] STOOGES!) are gonna get ANSWERS!
No doubt many asking the questions don't know what armor is -- they probably think it's those neat metal suits worn by knights -- but by gum they (and CURLEY'S [Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!] STOOGES!) are gonna get ANSWERS!
The right's favorite dictator needs some get-well wishes.
In a rare slip of his keyboard, Victor Davis Hanson wrote:
[I]t is also time to take a hard look at the heroes and villains of Hollywood, liberal Democrats, and the Euro elites. Many are as obsessed with damning the senile dictator of Chile as they are with excusing the unelected President for Life Fidel Castro. But let us be frank. A murderous Pinochet probably killed fewer of his own than did a mass-murdering Castro, and left Chile in better shape than contemporary Cuba is in. And the former is long gone, while the latter is still long in power.
This is not frank. (When a writer uses politicospeak he is definitely not being "frank.") Mr. Hanson forgets that conservatives had a feckless tradition of condoning dictators, most notably with Hitler. Pinochet's brutality became such that even Ronald Reagan had to acknowledge it, but then in the form of Ms. Ambassador Kirkpatrick's silent -- er, "QUIET diplomacy." At least Jimmy Carter, for his manifold flaws, had the right idea: he wanted a moral foreign policy. Of course who could know what his definition of "morality" would be. The surpassing glibness of liberals in endorsing Castro does not excuse the conservatives' past failures of will, and of the heart.
In a rare slip of his keyboard, Victor Davis Hanson wrote:
[I]t is also time to take a hard look at the heroes and villains of Hollywood, liberal Democrats, and the Euro elites. Many are as obsessed with damning the senile dictator of Chile as they are with excusing the unelected President for Life Fidel Castro. But let us be frank. A murderous Pinochet probably killed fewer of his own than did a mass-murdering Castro, and left Chile in better shape than contemporary Cuba is in. And the former is long gone, while the latter is still long in power.
This is not frank. (When a writer uses politicospeak he is definitely not being "frank.") Mr. Hanson forgets that conservatives had a feckless tradition of condoning dictators, most notably with Hitler. Pinochet's brutality became such that even Ronald Reagan had to acknowledge it, but then in the form of Ms. Ambassador Kirkpatrick's silent -- er, "QUIET diplomacy." At least Jimmy Carter, for his manifold flaws, had the right idea: he wanted a moral foreign policy. Of course who could know what his definition of "morality" would be. The surpassing glibness of liberals in endorsing Castro does not excuse the conservatives' past failures of will, and of the heart.
As we expose the Parents Television Council and its henchmen at the FCC as censors trying to foist their unconstitutional religious agenda on the rest of America....
Interesting use of the editorial WE, STERNO. Who's WE? Does it include The TWXSTERS, ESPNCorp, VIACON, RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!, GE Bancorp, CONCAST, Sony, TRIB, GanNETt, the recorded-music conspiracy, SAMMY GLICKMAN, the whole nine yards?
You, BRENT -- one Ka-CHING!!!!! does not sound different from another.
I must stay away from SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS who say the same blasted things all the time -- and that, sadly, includes nearly all of them.
Interesting use of the editorial WE, STERNO. Who's WE? Does it include The TWXSTERS, ESPNCorp, VIACON, RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!, GE Bancorp, CONCAST, Sony, TRIB, GanNETt, the recorded-music conspiracy, SAMMY GLICKMAN, the whole nine yards?
You, BRENT -- one Ka-CHING!!!!! does not sound different from another.
I must stay away from SUPERDUPERMEGAGIGABLOGGERS who say the same blasted things all the time -- and that, sadly, includes nearly all of them.
Found this one on THE FREEP -- YET ANOTHER DEFINITION OF BLITHERING IDIOT:
A NEW CHAPTER IS BEING WRITTEN IN AMERICAN HISTORY, THE THEME OF WHICH IS "DIRTY DIVERSITY"!!!!! NON-WHITE FACES HAVE BEEN HIRED FOR BIG-TICKET JOBS SO THAT A BLACK WOMAN VOUCHES FOR AN UNJUST WAR, A BLACK MAN DEFENDS IT, ONE HISPANIC JUSTIFIES THE USE OF TORTURE WHILE ANOTHER SUPERVISES THE SLAUGHTER OF FOREIGN CIVILIANS, AND A VIETNAMESE REFUGEE WRITES THE LAW TO MAIM AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The name's Khan. Ali Khan. I wonder who could throw the better tantrum -- you or a three-year-old? I say you win hands down.
P. S. LIAQUAT Ali Khan. You know anyone in Pakistan, LIAQUAT?
A NEW CHAPTER IS BEING WRITTEN IN AMERICAN HISTORY, THE THEME OF WHICH IS "DIRTY DIVERSITY"!!!!! NON-WHITE FACES HAVE BEEN HIRED FOR BIG-TICKET JOBS SO THAT A BLACK WOMAN VOUCHES FOR AN UNJUST WAR, A BLACK MAN DEFENDS IT, ONE HISPANIC JUSTIFIES THE USE OF TORTURE WHILE ANOTHER SUPERVISES THE SLAUGHTER OF FOREIGN CIVILIANS, AND A VIETNAMESE REFUGEE WRITES THE LAW TO MAIM AMERICAN CIVIL LIBERTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The name's Khan. Ali Khan. I wonder who could throw the better tantrum -- you or a three-year-old? I say you win hands down.
P. S. LIAQUAT Ali Khan. You know anyone in Pakistan, LIAQUAT?
Or as George Soros would say, "Zeee! I told you this vvvar was vvvaged by a NAZZZZI government!"
But as proof that we Americans can turn the other cheek (and that JIMBAKERISM is alive and well and living in Bush's cabinet) we sell the Cubans $125 million in farm goods. Somebody's smiling today!
Friday, December 17, 2004
"Public" radio's goin' ROCK-'N'-ROLL!!!!!!!!!! BUT....
Although a stated goal of [Minneapolis "public" station WCAL's new] format [something that must be called Adult Album Alternative, which someone's described as "watered-down folk-rock and HORDE-iness with a side order of Steely Dan, Dire Straits and Peter Gabriel"] is to attract younger listeners, WXPN [executive Bruce] Warren calls that hope "a myth." The average age of his listeners is 46, compared with 52 for his rival National Public Radio affiliate.
The time has come to pull ALL taxpayer support of "public" broadcasting of any kind, and just let it be what it wants to be: condescendingly COMMERCIAL.
Although a stated goal of [Minneapolis "public" station WCAL's new] format [something that must be called Adult Album Alternative, which someone's described as "watered-down folk-rock and HORDE-iness with a side order of Steely Dan, Dire Straits and Peter Gabriel"] is to attract younger listeners, WXPN [executive Bruce] Warren calls that hope "a myth." The average age of his listeners is 46, compared with 52 for his rival National Public Radio affiliate.
The time has come to pull ALL taxpayer support of "public" broadcasting of any kind, and just let it be what it wants to be: condescendingly COMMERCIAL.
I'd have ignored this story about how THE GREATEST DIRECTOR IN FILM HISTORY has given up on a Dean Martin biopic (or a "DEANO" flick, as they insist on calling him at ZAP2IT.com, as though Dino were Mr. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!) except for this line:
At one point, Scorsese says he had convinced Tom Hanks to play the part of the Rat Pack ringleader who caroused and partied in Los Angeles and Las Vegas.
Hmmm, what did Peter Bogdanovich say the other day, hmmmmm?
"Think about it - Tom Hanks is a very good actor and so is Tom Cruise, but what is a 'Tom Cruise film'? It could be anything," he said.
"Do me a Tom Cruise impression - you can't do it. So you don't know exactly what that is."
The un-imitable Tom Hanks doing the inimitable Dino. Yep, I see why THE GREATEST DIRECTOR IN FILM HISTORY ditched it.
At one point, Scorsese says he had convinced Tom Hanks to play the part of the Rat Pack ringleader who caroused and partied in Los Angeles and Las Vegas.
Hmmm, what did Peter Bogdanovich say the other day, hmmmmm?
"Think about it - Tom Hanks is a very good actor and so is Tom Cruise, but what is a 'Tom Cruise film'? It could be anything," he said.
"Do me a Tom Cruise impression - you can't do it. So you don't know exactly what that is."
The un-imitable Tom Hanks doing the inimitable Dino. Yep, I see why THE GREATEST DIRECTOR IN FILM HISTORY ditched it.
THE CORNER is SWARMING with people still mad at FDR nearly SIXTY YEARS AFTER HIS DEATH. They say the New Deal didn't end the Great Depression. Maybe it didn't. But Americans had a chance to try something else. They could have re-elected HERBERT HOOVER.
One could fulminate about this evil murder only to stop fulminating upon the realization that there will be others just as evil.
That the baby is okay must be chalked up to the grace of God.
That the baby is okay must be chalked up to the grace of God.
Excluding homeland security and emergencies like hurricanes, domestic spending has grown by 27% since Bush took office in 2001.
"I really do believe that this White House gets it," said Rep. Mike Pence, R-Ind., a leading House conservative.
Yeah. Just like the river gets it after the dam's burst. Good luck, Dubya.
"I really do believe that this White House gets it," said Rep. Mike Pence, R-Ind., a leading House conservative.
Yeah. Just like the river gets it after the dam's burst. Good luck, Dubya.