Eugene David ...The One-Minute Pundit |
THE NEWS HACK'S CREED: I know more than you. I make lots more money than you. I'm smarter than you. I'm sexier than you. I appear on TV all the time. I work ten minutes a day. I rule the universe. I'm going to live forever. You are an idiot. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 2: A lie isn't a lie when it tells THE TRUTH. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 3: I've come to realize that the looseness of the journalistic life, the seeming laxity of the newsroom, is an illusion. Yes, there's informality and there's humor, but beneath the surface lies something deadly serious. It is a code. Sometimes the code is not even written down, but it is deeply believed in. And, when violated, it is enforced with tribal ferocity. --JOHN "OMERTA" CARROLL. THE NEWS HACK'S CREED, No. 4: News isn't news when we don't report it. PERMALINKS: THE NEWS HACKS' DICTIONARY THE EUGENE DAVID GLOSSARY AMERICA'S MOST UNINTENTIONALLY FUNNY WEB SITE! Blogroll Me! |
Sunday, October 31, 2004
Posted
4:47 PM
by Gene
In a harshly worded decision received by attorneys this week, U.S. District Court Judge Thomas Hogan said McDermott's "willful and knowing misconduct rises to the level of malice in this case." Malice. How much of what goes in politics rises to the level of malice? How much of what goes on in the luxury news suites, the Hollywood studios, in academe, in big business, rises to the level of malice? Doc-TOR McDermott is just a small pile of sleaze atop a very scummy iceberg.
Posted
4:31 PM
by Gene
RAH! RAH!! RAH!!! The GOP is likely to retain its majority.... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And remember, it's the DO-NOT-CALL LAW'S FAULT!
Posted
4:04 PM
by Gene
And now it's added lip-synching to the repertory. Just like American Bandstand. Wonderful. P. S. Next year this month the alleged comedy revue will have been on the air thirty years. The IDIOT Jeff Greenfield wrote a gushing rave for New York its very first month, and that's what kept it going. He deserves a huge chunk of the royalties -- and the blame. I guess I'm depressed because I just got through listening to Hoagy Carmichael singing and playing "Stardust." He wrote that song 77 years ago (he was STILL ALIVE through SNL's FIRST SEVEN SEASONS!!!!!), and it's forever. Can't our age do anything but break wind violently and laugh at it? WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THE COKEHEAD JOHN BELUSHI?
Posted
1:45 PM
by Gene
It must be disappointing, PAPER OF RE-CORD; we wanted so desperately to do some -- social engineering. But there's always Tuesday.
Posted
1:34 PM
by Gene
Why is it every two weeks we must have a media-engineered nervous breakdown?
Posted
1:26 PM
by Gene
Oddly enough the more the PUBLIC EDI-TOR writes stuff like this the more tenuous THE PAPER OF RE-CORD's grasp of reality.
Posted
1:25 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:20 PM
by Gene
These will be four LOVELY years.
Posted
1:17 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:03 PM
by Gene
HOWARD put you up to it?
Posted
8:35 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:22 AM
by Gene
Which I've been doing for, oh, at least 21 months. Next time, TV news must examine how the 2004 coverage became warped, and then get back to reporting important, relevant campaign news. Next time. RIGHT YOU ARE!!!!! Next time. P. S. B&C blames Howard Dean's YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!! on "directional mikes." It wouldn't occur to them to blame his directional mouth.
Posted
8:14 AM
by Gene
After a year or more of this election campaign, you may feel like you're drowning in the triviality of it all. Just hold out for two more days, and you'll be swept up in history. Then you'll really be sorry. We were sorry twelve years ago.
Posted
8:10 AM
by Gene
This column has expressed abundant skepticism about the grandiosity of George W. Bush's foreign policy. And about his passivity about spending (he has vetoed nothing), his enlargement of the welfare state (the prescription drug entitlement), his expansion of inappropriate federal responsibilities (concerning education from kindergarten through 12th-grade, through the No Child Left Behind Act) and HIS COMPLICITY IN VANDALIZING THE CONSTITUTION (he signed the McCain-Feingold bill, which rations political speech). Still, this column prefers Bush. This blog has expressed abundant skepticism about GEORGE "MY BUSINESS IS MY BUSINESS" WILL, but we'll leave it at that for now.
Posted
8:07 AM
by Gene
Nonetheless, its appearance was an embarrassment to Pakistan.... Yeah, sure. "The guard brought it to me along with other mail. It was in an envelope, I opened it, and IT WAS A BIG SCOOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" DOWN, boy. [Overemphasis added, but not needed.]
Posted
8:03 AM
by Gene
These experts said Bin Laden appeared to be intensifying his campaign to "re-brand" himself in the minds of Muslims worldwide.... Aside from the use of an annoying buzzword (VARIETY or ADAGE, anyone?), these are the same experts who tell us al Qaeda has between 5,000 members and 2 million. SHUT UP.
Posted
8:01 AM
by Gene
With you, GLIBERAL, it's MERE fatigue. Saturday, October 30, 2004
Posted
6:19 PM
by Gene
Now who would write it? Oscar Hammerstein could do the book, assisted by Neil Simon for the gags. Or maybe Arthur Laurents; he knew show-biz. But who would do the music? Jerome Kern, perhaps; as excellent as he and his colleagues were he was the only one who could write consistently "big" songs. Victor Herbert would have been right if he only he'd been tuneful. Possibly the great movie scorers; but so far as I know not one among them ever wrote an opera or musical. I've always thought the best choice would be Leroy Anderson. He seems to have written his superlative tone poems for a show that never existed; they have a unifying thread of bigness and eloquence and quaintness that would be just right for a big, eloquent, even a little quaint story. (Anderson did write a show about silent movies -- a 1958 affair with Jean and Walter Kerr called Goldilocks; but it had no really good ballads, and it flopped.) Now, to reality: a BILLY JOELY SHOW with cliches and $1.5 million in advance bookings; A ROCKIN' ROLLIN' DEAD-MAN SHOW WITH ELVIS TUNES; and bus-and-truck companies recycling fifth-rate shows and stretching out longer than the proverbial truckin' CONVOY.
Posted
6:13 PM
by Gene
CAMPAIGN EFFLUVIA....I guess every presidential campaign has 'em: the last minute bizarro issues that suddenly become life or death campaign fodder. This year, we've had no fewer than three in the final month of the campaign: 1. Flu vaccine shortage. 2. 380 tons of missing explosives. 3. The Osama videotape. Isn't that amazing? Ultimately, these are all trivial issues that will be entirely forgotten within a few months, but they just might be the things that decide who will be president for the next four years. Sometimes I feel like we should just flip a coin and save ourselves the trouble. But how would Fred OR Kevin fare if they had to spend long hours with their MOUTHS SHUT?
Posted
6:10 PM
by Gene
Why didn't he say this when the debates were on?
Posted
1:30 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:20 PM
by Gene
What are we going to DO about this, LITTLE?!?!?
Posted
1:08 PM
by Gene
![]() BP plunks a corporate HQ of a spin-off on Chicago -- with "at least $12 million in state subsidies." And Georgia offers $17 million to Kmart! CEOs of the world, UNITE!
Posted
1:03 PM
by Gene
BRING IN THE BLUE SHIRTS!
Posted
1:00 PM
by Gene
SUMNER!!!!!
Posted
9:24 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:13 AM
by Gene
Friday, October 29, 2004
Posted
6:44 PM
by Gene
WOW! I'M ALL SHOOK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now back to sleep.
Posted
6:25 PM
by Gene
Although to be sure I'm faintly honored.
Posted
6:04 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:58 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:55 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:52 PM
by Gene
LET'S PUT THIS OUTFIT OUT OF BUSINESS WITH TV-B-GONE!!!!! BWA-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAAAA!!!!! (Well, the REST of the time.)
Posted
5:44 PM
by Gene
Of course, who can say this growth will last forever? Just as Yahoo! pancaked, just as other dot.coms bombed, surely the number of abandoned blogs is piling up almost as fast as people are singing on. Blogging is no fad, but for the next few years, for many people, it may as well be. Then maybe G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER would improve. Or maybe the company will finally have spun it off. P. S. STERNO quotes someone who says G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE will sink, and we all know how the TWXSTERS are with their COVER JINXES.
Posted
5:41 PM
by Gene
They were DANCIN' ON THE CEILING again at the O CHANNEL. May ALLAH inflict you with the LAWS OF GRAVITY.
Posted
5:05 PM
by Gene
Of course -- the TRAITORS'.
Posted
8:49 AM
by Gene
The Internal Revenue Service is reviewing the tax-exempt status of the nation's oldest civil rights organization, saying criticism of President Bush at the NAACP's national convention in July may have violated rules against partisan activity. Can't the Feds tell the difference between "partisan activity" and THE TRUTH?
Posted
8:45 AM
by Gene
Kevin Reilly, president of entertainment at NBC, laid the blame on the excessive amount of creative notes scriptwriters are inundated with by network executives. That may be the only creative aspect of the biz. And if there's something a GE BANCORP exec should know about, it's CREATIVE NOTES.
Posted
8:31 AM
by Gene
Is there an analogy here?
Posted
8:22 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:04 AM
by Gene
Posted
7:05 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:51 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:47 AM
by Gene
The incompetent or the incoherent?
Posted
6:36 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:31 AM
by Gene
Pollster John Zogby, in a telephone interview with me yesterday, predicted that John Kerry will win the election. "It's close," he said, "but in the last couple of days things have been trending toward Kerry - nationally and in the swing states. Between this and history, I think it will be Kerry." When Zogby talks, politicians listen. He made his bones in the Bill Clinton-Bob Dole election of 1996, when he came within one-tenth of a percentage point of the final tally. Bet me that when the Bushies read what Zogby told me, not just the rhetoric will rise, but so will the fever. Particularly since one of their favorite columnists, Robert Novak, reported in yesterday's Washington Post that Zogby called the race for President Bush in a conversation he had with the pollster on Monday. I think the time has come to call for a TOTAL BAN on PUBLIC-OPINION POLLS -- and PUBLIC-OPINION POLLSTERS. Thursday, October 28, 2004
Posted
7:56 PM
by Gene
My guess is he'll emerge as unscathed as DAN BLATHER, simply through the sheer force of his MOUTH.
Posted
5:51 PM
by Gene
![]() I wish I could access actual pages from defunct newspapers. I recall seeing the front page of the long defunct Philadelphia Record, a rabidly Democratic table pounder, from the day after FDR accepted his nomination for a second term. Though full of the adjectives news hacks have long disdained in favor of the cute hint and the clever nudge, there was no escaping the majesty of this front page, and of the event it chronicled: One of the greatest orators ever in the White House, speaking before 100,000 at Franklin Field (what a name! What a stadium!) imploring that "this generation of Americans has a rendezvous with destiny!" Though subsequent events would impart a heavy irony on those words -- indeed Roosevelt almost anticipates the coming horrible war -- there was no mistaking this was a speech you could relate to your grandchildren, and they would get goose bumps too. That he collapsed on the podium during an impassioned sentence and had to be helped up (his polio was still largely unknown to the public) could only add to the aura. Today DIPPITY-DO!!!!! appeared before 80,000 at Madison. That statement is anti-climactic in itself; but most of the 80,000 were surely there to see THE MAN KNIGHTED BY LORD KOPPEL OF ESPNDOM AS THE GREATEST MUSICIAN OF ALL TIME. I do not know who introduced whom (by rights DIP should have been first); but unless the DO!!!!! forgot his ancient Senate mannerisms and delivered a plea for the ages I'd guess the crowd was bored by the third paragraph, as it could never be in the presence of GENIUS. Oh to be a writer for, say, THE PAPER OF RECORD, and turn such a crass, numbing, degraded show of manic arm-waving into the ACHIEVEMENT of YESTERYEAR, to make a fumbling hoity-toity unlikeable left-wing NIXON into -- A POLITICAL GENIUS! INTO -- A ROOSEVELT!!!!! As today's unfortunate events at TRIBCO proved, lying only goes so far. P. S. Yes, I know all about FDR's "deviousness," and his shameful compromises. But he was still among the best the age had to offer, and for being the best he was at his best damned good.
Posted
5:44 PM
by Gene
I'M SICK OF LEFT-WING TANTRUMS!! I'M SICK OF RIGHT-WING TANTRUMS!! I'M SICK OF POLITICAL TANTRUMS!!!!!
Posted
5:23 PM
by Gene
From Britney Spears's Surprise Weddings to Ashlee Simpson's "SNL" Fiasco -- 'VH1 Big in '04' Applauds the Biggest People, Moments and Trends of 2004 on Sunday, December 5, at 9pm* Third Annual Show to Feature Performances by Maroon 5, Black Eyed Peas, Green Day and Velvet Revolver, at Los Angeles' Shrine Auditorium SANTA MONICA, Calif., Oct. 28 /PRNewswire/ -- No debate needed. 2004 has been a wacky year -- even "surreal" sometimes. It's been a year filled with catchphrases ranging from The Donald's "You're Fired" to Paris Hilton's "You're Hot," new homes (Martha Stewart going to prison), Olympic controversies (Paul Hamm and his gold medal) and rivalries (Hillary Duff vs. Lindsay Lohan and The Bush twins vs. Kerry girls). [FORGETTING SOMETHING, SUMNER?] VH1 will recall it all on Sunday, December 5 at 9PM* during the third annual "VH1 Big in '04," celebration -- jamming the biggest people, political blunders, moments and trends of the year into one enormous spectacle. Featuring performances by Maroon 5, Black Eyed Peas, Green Day and Velvet Revolver, "VH1 Big in '04" will be taped at Los Angeles' Shrine Auditorium on Wednesday, December 1. Doing away with the traditional awards show format, VH1 will honor winners in categories that captured the year in music, news, politics, arts, and gossip, such as ... BIG ENTERTAINER OF '04 Celebrities that made the biggest impact in 2004. BIG BUMMER People, incidents and topics that were disappointing this year. BIG FAMILY OF '04 Families that made a big impression in 2004. BIG FEUD OF '04 People and organizations that had the biggest battles in 2004. BIG CATCH PHRASE OF '04 Phrases that were heard and repeated in 2004, even in our sleep. BIG BANNED IN '04 People and topics that were controversial and banned this year. [I think this is where VIACON comes in.] BIG SECOND COMING Biggest topics and people that for a second time have risen to the top. Tickets go on sale to the public beginning Wednesday, November 3rd. Advance tickets are available only through Ticketmaster.com, VH1.com/Big Tickets or your local Tickemaster outlet. Tickets are $50 for all seat locations. For more information about "VH1 Big in '04" please visit http://www.VH1.com . Sponsors for "VH1 Big in '04" include Old Navy, Biore, Chevrolet, Garnier Fructis, MasterCard, Nikon, Radio Shack, Revlon, Hewlett Packard, Burger King, Toyota Motor Sales, Verizon Wireless and Warner Bros. new motion picture, 'Ocean's 12', in theaters December 10. "VH1 Big in '04" is executive produced by Michael Dempsey, Lee Rolontz and Mimi James. *all times ET/PT Contacts: Vanessa Reyes MTV Networks 310-752-8081 Tracy McGraw VH1 212-846-7879 Lindsey Schiff-Abrams MTV Networks 310-752-8082 Toni Herron VH1 212-846-7879 You must pardon us, ladies; we thought the asterisk meant SUBJECT TO TAPE DELAY. I think it's time to write to the BLOGGERS at the AMERICAN SOCIETY OF WILLFULLY IGNORANT ADVERTISERS.
Posted
4:54 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:36 PM
by Gene
You must be an exception, Mr. Teachout. Most people get jock itch.
Posted
2:22 PM
by Gene
Posted
2:09 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:34 PM
by Gene
WE'D RATHER BE RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, you'd rather be LEFT. TRIBCO blames a large chunk of the loss at LALA on the DO-NOT-CALL Law. NEVER blame the PRODUCT.
Posted
1:29 PM
by Gene
WHAT?!?!?!?!? If they carted him through the streets he'd meet with the greatest public display of French love since -- HITLER.
Posted
1:18 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:12 PM
by Gene
A haunting footnote: I actually watched that network (!), when I still had time for television, and one of its most frequent talking heads was David Alger, who died in the WTC.
Posted
10:39 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:51 AM
by Gene
Where's all the money you got from shaking down big business?
Posted
9:27 AM
by Gene
Most likely, mad.
Posted
9:02 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:37 AM
by Gene
Of course Columbia has the famous JERNALISM SCHOOL. You have to wonder how much of the SIEG HEIL! is infecting our national system of TRUTH TELLING.
Posted
6:24 AM
by Gene
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Posted
5:54 PM
by Gene
Of course he might have to fiddle with his mouthpiece as he'd have to swivel his head 180 degrees too.
Posted
5:17 PM
by Gene
Finally This Goddamned Blog is Working Again HEAR THAT, ZILLIONAIRES??????????
Posted
5:10 PM
by Gene
![]() These are the leads in a new Goodspeed Opera House production of Jerry Herman's cult flop Mack and Mabel. I wouldn't even post on this except the original show starred Robert Preston and Bernadette Peters. Here we have a middle manager romancing a nobody. It's not just the dearth of tunes that killed the musical -- the dearth of FACES did it too.
Posted
4:57 PM
by Gene
NO, the whole world IS run by PAUL BEGALA (or JACOB WEISBERG) and TUCKER CARLSON.
Posted
4:55 PM
by Gene
As evidenced by this survey, the vast majority at Slate wants John Kerry to win the election on Nov. 2. But don't get the wrong idea. We're not trying to help him do it. Sure. Like the gun hurts the bank robber. OR: CBS journalists, whatever their politics, are professionals who aspire to be fair and resist bias. Many of those at Fox News Channel, on the other hand, aspire only to advance the fortunes of the conservative movement blahblahblahblah.... TRANSLATION: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! DEY'RE DOIN' WAT WE DO! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
Posted
2:51 PM
by Gene
If so, he shor did GROW. This is what you get when you use LOADED words like "EVOLUTION."
Posted
1:27 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:22 PM
by Gene
![]() And speaking of cheerleading, I've come up with the PERFECT mascot for KINSLEY.COM, where this appeared. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!
Posted
1:17 PM
by Gene
RAH RAH RAH! SIS BOOM BAH! $100,000 A SHARE RAH RAH RAH!
Posted
10:38 AM
by Gene
Posted
10:37 AM
by Gene
What an irony: he has a gallstone, you have GALL.
Posted
9:34 AM
by Gene
And nothing takes the day off like a G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE employee who's worth a minimum of $50 MILLION.
Posted
9:14 AM
by Gene
Boss blogs : Seth Godin gives good advice to CEOs wanting to jump on the blogging trend train: Here's the problem. Blogs work when they are based on: Candor Urgency Timeliness Pithiness and Controversy (maybe Utility if you want six). Does this sound like a CEO to you? Short and sweet, folks: If you can't be at least four of the five things listed above, please don't bother. The same advice holds for big media blogs, advertiser blogs, brand blogs, PR blogs, politician blogs.... So how come everyone reads you and no one reads me? (You do have the CONTROVERSY thing down right.)
Posted
9:00 AM
by Gene
And they're updated ONCE A MONTH. Very -- TIMELY.
Posted
8:48 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:44 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:30 AM
by Gene
There's our new spin word, "evolution." You mean from one kind of monkey to another?
Posted
8:27 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:25 AM
by Gene
About white tigers they have known? ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Posted
6:34 PM
by Gene
See that pretzel waking down the street? That's an AP reporter. WHAT DID YOU SAY, BILL SALETAN?
Posted
6:00 PM
by Gene
As DIPPITY-DO!! will soon learn, pffh-hh-hh.
Posted
5:57 PM
by Gene
How do you hum his ear lop? And it opens in the HOMETOWN OF USAOKAY!!!!!, which is somehow befitting.
Posted
5:54 PM
by Gene
But SHUCKS, even ROBERT FISK'S RAG (whatever happened to him, anyway? Get walled out?) admits THE HOPES AND PRAYERS OF MANKIND MAY NOT BE ANSWERED.
Posted
5:43 PM
by Gene
BEST BY AUG 1006 A4 Knowing Freezer Queen, it COULD have meant "Best by Aug., 1006." BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! P. S. All right, I'm sorry, it isn't bad -- if you have nothing better to eat.
Posted
5:24 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:10 PM
by Gene
I'll explain it, ROMY: THIS is THE WALL STREET JOURNALS LIBERAL EDITION. Had it been THE WALL STREET JOURNALS CONSERVATIVE EDITION...well, those typists wouldn't have been so -- UNCOUTH. Can't wait for your freebies, JOURNALS -- when you try to prove you CAN GET NOTHING FOR SOMETHING.
Posted
5:04 PM
by Gene
Posted
4:55 PM
by Gene
Posted
3:16 PM
by Gene
Coming from you, Bill Saletan, we'll take that as definitive.
Posted
3:06 PM
by Gene
Posted
9:13 AM
by Gene
Again I say, the answer to this is simple: JUST SLANT THE NEWS MORE!! To paraphrase archy the cockroach, all enemies of the people taste alike to me.
Posted
8:57 AM
by Gene
DUHHHHHHHHH, I'm no loony toon, but I don't watch da noos either, so I couldn't really tell you if I am, duhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. OR: Few Baltimoreans saw Sinclair show Pffh-hh-hh ha ha ha ha ha HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
Posted
6:47 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:24 AM
by Gene
Literary Digest redux? P. S. "Influx could tilt race either way." Stop the weasel-wording; they'll tilt the race for YOUR GUY. I should not be surprised if many morons vote DIPPITY-DO!! in, but then we have the consolation of American history that it won't be the first time.
Posted
6:21 AM
by Gene
Monday, October 25, 2004
Posted
5:22 PM
by Gene
It's no surprise that this latest pre-fabricated pop star can't sing live (and at this point has no shame either). She joins a rather stellar group of mostly female peers who have been manufactured by managers and record companies. They don't write their own material and they don't sing it either. Does it matter since they're not singing MUSIC?
Posted
5:05 PM
by Gene
WE WANT MUZAK-B-GONE!
Posted
4:57 PM
by Gene
Like big government (run by the decision makers in Congress), the Yankees think that indiscriminately throwing lots of money at a problem solves it. For four years now, New York has missed out on a World Series championship, which owner George Steinbrenner believes is his, and his fans', birthright. Unfortunately, for three years running (and four out of five) George spent money indiscriminately and did win World Series. And how to explain all those con-SER-vatives who believe if the Sox win it's the end of the world because the team's based in TAXACHUSETTS? Sports has nothing to do with politics except when owners do the shakedown, and Republicans and Democrats alike are all too willing to take THE PRONE POSITION.
Posted
1:29 PM
by Gene
Posted
1:14 PM
by Gene
I'm sorry, after all these years walled off from the rest of the Web 701,000 subscribers doesn't sound that good -- and who knows how many already subscribe to THE JOURNALS in print.
Posted
1:12 PM
by Gene
Not that the EEEEEEEEEEEVIL other side lacks a litmus test; but with the Nine Fingers, it's just a question of WHOSE LITMUS TEST.
Posted
10:50 AM
by Gene
Sure -- so long as G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE stock goes up.
Posted
9:55 AM
by Gene
There goes THAT scoop, little.
Posted
9:27 AM
by Gene
Under a PSEUDONYM. PREDICTION: ANOTHER OVERRATED RAG GETS ANOTHER MAGAZINE AWARD.
Posted
9:25 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:52 AM
by Gene
SECURITY COUNCIL MEMBERS DENY MEETING KERRY!!!!!!!!!! Maybe he was asleep at the time. Or maybe THEY were asleep at the time. IT'S THE LEAGUE OF NATIONS. Does it matter? I can see it now: little sitting sentinel at his computer, gulping down thirty-two cups of coffee and going to the bathroom every twenty minutes, banging on his keyboard and screaming into his monitor: "Story! STORY! Where's the story??? WHERE'S THE @%$^*! STORY??????????" We need YOUR help to learn the DIP! tells TALL TALES, little, POWER? You're pretty good with your fables about Idi Amin and YASSIR, little. P. S. And just how EARTH-SHATTERING is this report? Well, on the Washington Times' home page it's third down -- below "The Insider Politics Blog." P. P. S. Why am I thinking Joel, the same guy who sat there credulously on THE 700 CLUB while REV. PAT suggested someone nuke Foggy Bottom, hint-hinted his story on to little?
Posted
6:46 AM
by Gene
WHEW! Nobody fired.
Posted
6:30 AM
by Gene
WE DEMAND A FEDERAL INVESTIGATION!
Posted
6:23 AM
by Gene
HOW DOES A PRESIDENT WIN RE-ELECTION WHEN ALL THE NEWS THE VOTERS ARE SEEING IS BAD? I think it's the VRWC myself. Or maybe Sinclair Broadcasting! Let's have a federal investigation. (Oh, I forgot -- David Brock was pleased.) Or maybe it's a wily God? Better ask PINCH then, cause last you spoke to him he WAS God.
Posted
6:20 AM
by Gene
Eisner With Charm? Insiders see News Corp.'s Peter Chernin as an improved version of the man he could replace Why not Hitler with charm? Or Stalin with charm? That's what media megatyrants are, even if they don't kill people.
Posted
6:17 AM
by Gene
No doubt the funniest thing to happen on that show in decades. Sunday, October 24, 2004
Posted
4:37 PM
by Gene
"THIS IS A JOKE!" they say. So are too many other blogs.
Posted
4:28 PM
by Gene
I'm sure he'll listen to you -- just like REPUBLICANS.
Posted
1:57 PM
by Gene
Spitzer's iron wrist shits to music industry BEIJING, Oct. 24 (Xinhuanet) -- New York Attorney General Eliot Spitzer's office now shits their attention to the music industry, particularly its practices for influencing what songs are heard on the public airwaves. Sorry for the word, but -- THINGS HAPPEN when you OUTSOURCE the NEWS.
Posted
1:54 PM
by Gene
Maybe if you just SHUT UP....
Posted
11:21 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:12 AM
by Gene
Hey Mark! Why's your rag endorsing DIPPITY-DO!!!!!?
Posted
9:09 AM
by Gene
According to polls taken this year, nearly 65 percent of the public doesn't know that Congress has banned partial-birth abortion. Seventy percent is unaware that a massive drug benefit has been added to Medicare. At least 58 percent say they have heard "nothing" or "not much" about the Patriot Act, notwithstanding the enormous amount of coverage the controversial law has drawn. This is not a new problem. As Cold War tensions bristled in 1964, only 38 percent of the public knew that the Soviet Union was not a member of NATO. In 1970, only 24 percent could identify the secretary of state. In 1996, The Washington Post reported that 67 percent of Americans couldn't name their congressman and 94 percent had no idea that William Rehnquist was the chief justice of the United States. Only 26 percent knew that senators serve six-year terms, and 73 percent didn't know that Medicare costs more than foreign aid. TRANSLATION: The more things change.... P. S. I wonder -- in 1964, how many people got their news from Mad magazine and That Was the Week That Was? And in 1970 from Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In? Hmmm?
Posted
9:03 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:54 AM
by Gene
One thing: the companies that sell PAIN RELIEVERS and ANTI-ANXIETY DRUGS would be happy.
Posted
8:48 AM
by Gene
Posted
8:45 AM
by Gene
If only ALL of America could think 62-38, like NEWS HACKS.
Posted
8:37 AM
by Gene
Saturday, October 23, 2004
Posted
7:24 PM
by Gene
From little.
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6:30 PM
by Gene
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6:25 PM
by Gene
Between this and the way Sinclair wimped out you'd think people would be concerned for LITTLE's health.
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6:04 PM
by Gene
Being a CEO means making $20 million a year not having to know what your company's doing. Being a CEO means getting fawned over by Tom Peters and Scott Adams and John Byrne and BusinessWeek and Fortune and the authors of masterworks like Who Moved My Cheese? while making $20 million a year not having to know what your company's doing.
Posted
5:39 PM
by Gene
PLUS I passed the end of a bus-and-truck production matinee of Mamma Mia! with the doors open and the crowd making its rock-concert cheers, and some ac-TOR nonentity making a condescending remark about our IGGLES (as a cast member no doubt does for the home team of every NFL city the show tours), and I somehow thought, I should like to have been there, paying my eighty bucks to see a group of nobodies attempt to sing and dance so I could talk about it for ten weeks, but then I thought, I once came across a thread in a cast-album BBS asking what the posters' least-favorite recording was, and Mamma Mia! unsurprisingly turned up a lot. I'll keep my eighty bucks in my pocket. Here's a story, by the way, which shows what a business FOLLY the AHTS could be here in Philthydelphia, especially with CHEAP CHANNEL coming in. It would be sad to lose this fine space, the Boyd Theater, but we need a supermarket more.
Posted
11:47 AM
by Gene
Posted
11:25 AM
by Gene
Posted
9:46 AM
by Gene
That's what bothers us.
Posted
9:30 AM
by Gene
Prediction: after DIP's election THE NOSE will produce PROFILE IN COURAGE: THE JOHN KERRY STORY, starring Tom Cruise as the DIP -- and Mme. DeFarge as Mme. TE-RRRRRRRAIT-TZA.
Posted
9:05 AM
by Gene
Tell that to RUPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted
9:02 AM
by Gene
I'll have to think about that. "It's the propaganda arm of Hezbollah and mirrors the ideology of the organization," said Mr. Jorisch. "The U.S. government should consider taking action against any company that does business with Al-Manar and/or Hezbollah," he said. You mean like PEPSICO and POOPER AND GUTLESS?
Posted
8:56 AM
by Gene
With the accent on BAH. OR: Such an enormous increase in the value of a company over a few weeks recalls the day in December 1998 when HENRY BLODGET, then an analyst for Oppenheimer & Company, famously predicted that Amazon.com, then trading at $240, would soon rise to $400. It reached that target in three weeks. Three years later, Amazon shares were selling for one-tenth that price. [Emphasis and link added.] Remember: five years from now, these ARE the good old days!
Posted
8:52 AM
by Gene
DEMOCRATS? The forces of right and good? The forces of ethics and morals in politics? They wouldn't stuff the ballot boxes. THAT'S UNDEMOCRATIC!!!!! Now remember PINCH, you and George and Terry and the gang -- and you too, MARIE ANTOINETTE -- on November 2, GET OUT THE R-CARD!!!!!
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8:47 AM
by Gene
What gets me about such stories is that so many self-important slobs waste the so many millions they get, and then they wonder why public sympathy equals their bank accounts. Friday, October 22, 2004
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5:44 PM
by Gene
1. Adhere to the journalistic values of honesty, courage, fairness, balance, independence, credibility and diversity, giving no priority to commercial or political considerations over professional ones. 2. Endeavour to get to the truth and declare it in our dispatches, programmes and news bulletins unequivocally in a manner which leaves no doubt about its validity and accuracy. 3. Treat our audiences with due respect and address every issue or story with due attention to present a clear, factual and accurate picture while giving full consideration to the feelings of victims of crime, war, persecution and disaster, their relatives and our viewers, and to individual privacy and public decorum. 4. Welcome fair and honest media competition without allowing it to affect adversely our standards of performance so that getting a "scoop" will not become an end in itself. 5. Present diverse points of view and opinions without bias or partiality. 6. Recognise diversity in human societies with all their races, cultures and beliefs and their values and intrinsic individualities in order to present unbiased and faithful reflection of them. 7. Acknowledge a mistake when it occurs, promptly correct it and ensure it does not recur. 8. Observe transparency in dealing with news and news sources while adhering to internationally established practices concerning the rights of these sources. 9. Distinguish between news material, opinion and analysis to avoid the pitfalls of speculation and propaganda. 10. Stand by colleagues in the profession and offer them support when required, particularly in light of the acts of aggression and harassment to which journalists are subjected at times. Cooperate with Arab and international journalistic unions and associations to defend freedom of the press. Okay -- WHOSE CODE OF ETHICS IS THIS? Forgive me if I say THIS PIECE OF MANURE is why we should not trust ONE word about ETHICS from the news biz, especially now as the HOLY COCKROACHES who run this propaganda outfit are busy celebrating THIS story.
Posted
5:23 PM
by Gene
MICHAEL BAD for President! MICHAEL BAD for President! He's the man the dweebies choose! Loves the druggies and the booze! (Etc., etc., etc.) Well, he's a GLIBERTARIAN, isn't he? Now if only we could work on a song for his running mate, whose name rhymes with lasagna. P. S. Is it me or does he have a slight resemblance to ANOTHER MICHAEL?
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5:02 PM
by Gene
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5:00 PM
by Gene
There, that should scratch a LOT of backs. This is why one should approach Bush II the II with weariness.
Posted
4:50 PM
by Gene
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1:37 PM
by Gene
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1:30 PM
by Gene
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1:14 PM
by Gene
Posted
11:44 AM
by Gene
Sadly, outgoing weathervane -- er, Congressman Dick Gephardt will NOT run LABOR -- a job he richly deserves. So let's ROOT, ROOT ROOT for the HOME PREZ....
Posted
11:19 AM
by Gene
G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLE SPECULATORS DON'T BLOG!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE GOOGLE!!!!! I HATE BLOGGER!!!!!
Posted
11:16 AM
by Gene
FURTHER TRANSLATION: MP3.com on CDs.
Posted
10:04 AM
by Gene
A year later, as Mr. Kissinger's tenure drew to a close, Ted Koppel, then diplomatic correspondent for ABC News, told him: "It has been an extraordinary three years for me, and I have enjoyed it immensely. You are an intriguing man, and if I had a teacher like you earlier I might not have been so cynical." "You have been a good friend," Mr. Kissinger replied. Mr. Koppel ended the conversation by saying, "We are lucky to have had you." Thanks, LORD KOPPEL OF ESPNDOM. Now we KNOW how you got to be a POMPOUS ASS. P. S. Mr. Kalb said he was bedridden with back problems and heavily medicated when he made his cheer-up call to Mr. Kissinger. One suspects IDIOTS like LORD KALB OF PERFESSERDOM and LORD KOPPEL OF ESPNDOM are HEAVILY MEDICATED WITH THEIR OWN EGOS. They make a DRUG ADDICT look good.
Posted
9:39 AM
by Gene
This, in a nutshell, is why OUR SUPERIORS want DIPPITY-DO! PRESIDENT.
Posted
9:33 AM
by Gene
And (C)RAP (I know scribbler, we are NOT supposed to call it THAT) is an analogue of BLOGGING as both drone on and on and on, and are richly disposable.
Posted
9:29 AM
by Gene
A significant part of the insurgents' money is coming from sympathizers in Saudi Arabia, and the Saudi government is neglecting the problem.... WITH FRIENDS LIKE THESE....
Posted
9:23 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:26 AM
by Gene
That just about says it, even while we attempt election by POLLS and while truth tellers like NORMAN THOMAS'S GRANDSON insist DIP would be a GREAT PRESIDENT.
Posted
6:22 AM
by Gene
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Posted
5:29 PM
by Gene
We're thinking, we're thinking.
Posted
5:27 PM
by Gene
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5:20 PM
by Gene
Media concentration has quickly become a code term for "you're conservative." Making media concentration more political code-speak means it is now effectively impossible to see it as the brute force for bad that it is.
Posted
5:09 PM
by Gene
THE AOL OF BLOGS, buggy, slow, unreliable. I switched from AOL to AT&T and have had no problems since. Ah to switch from G000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000GLEBLOGGER to something, to ANYTHING, but unlike with ISPs I fear the solution may be worse than the problem, especially given my 10,000-plus posts.
Posted
5:07 PM
by Gene
Hastert to Pelosi: You're in the MINORITY.
Posted
1:57 PM
by Gene
OR: Teen British singer Joss Stone performs on three songs, including a remake of the Bacharach-David nugget "Alfie," which originally resulted in separate hits for Dionne Warwick and Cher in the 1960s. Stone also teams with Jagger and Stewart for "Lonely Without You (This Christmas)" and "Wicked Time," a hip-hop reworking of the "Alfie" song performed with Jamaican rapper Nadirah "Nadz" Seid. SUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMNERRRRRRRR!! You've got another HIT on your hands!!! Better WASH them!!!!!
Posted
11:10 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:50 AM
by Gene
Both Qwest and the SEC have approved the settlement, but the Denver-based company will neither admit nor deny the allegations, the source said. In other words, a company can invoke a kind of plausible deniability, so what's to prevent wrongdoing from occuring again?
Posted
6:46 AM
by Gene
Posted
6:40 AM
by Gene
I couldn't help but feel ill at ease as hundreds cheered and pumped their fists in the air at the bloody evisceration of puppets modeled after Alec Baldwin, Janeane Garofalo, Sean Penn, and others. I mean, come on. I know it's an election season, but can we please be serious here for a minute? Baldwin is a good actor with daffy lefty political views and a big mouth. Why should seeing his effigy shot full of holes makes conservatives so happy? Have Susan Sarandon's meanderings really become so vital to the survival of our country that an on screen decapitation is a joyous occasion? Celebrities with silly political views are not comparable to Kim Jong Il. Nevertheless, conservative websites have been publishing gleeful, untroubled endorsements of the film for nearly a week now. Aren't these the same sites who have been complaining about MoveOn.org comparing George W. Bush to Hitler for the last year? Haven't they posted condemnation after condemnation of the rhetoric and merchandise of the Bush haters? I can't say I enjoy being in the position of defending Michael Moore, but here it goes: He may be the purveyor of conspiratorial, fraudulent documentaries, but he is not a suicide bomber. TRANSLATION (as if one is needed): In the essentials we don't have that much to choose from between two ossified reeking political "philosophies." P. S. THE AMERICAN SPECTATOR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Posted
6:39 AM
by Gene
So how much of a SUPERZILLIONAIRE is THE DONALD now?
Posted
6:30 AM
by Gene
Can you imagine the MOURNING news hacks will go into if he dies?
Posted
6:24 AM
by Gene
Figures that the Boston Glob would refer to the Yanks as "the Evil Empire." Better watch out whose empire you call evil, especially the next time YOUR BOSS comes to town. Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Posted
6:41 PM
by Gene
Posted
5:43 PM
by Gene
Teresa Heinz Kerry told a newspaper she doesn't know if Laura Bush has ever had "a real job." She apologized Wednesday for having forgotten about the first lady's 10-year stint as a schoolteacher and librarian. This will happen when YOU DON'T WORK FOR A LIVING.
Posted
5:33 PM
by Gene
"I'm a little concerned about this notion everybody wants us to be objective," Jennings said. We have little doubt of Pee-TAH's -- OBJECTIVITY. Problem is, THE ARTICLE GOES ON: Jennings said that everyone -- even journalists -- have points of view through which they filter their perception of the news. It could be race, sex or income. But, he said, reporters are ideally trained to be as objective as possible. "And when we don't think we can be fully objective, to be fair," the anchorman said. The truth is, THAT BOOM-BOOM SITE wouldn't have existed but for the obsession of bloggers over FONTS AND SUPERSCRIPTS -- and QUOTING SELECTIVELY, if not the brazen falsehood DAN BLATHER committed, is an untruth in itself.
Posted
5:14 PM
by Gene
And of Bert Parks not being available.
Posted
5:00 PM
by Gene
By the way: ![]() Think we could find a picture of our founder MICHAEL with the SHAKES? Crass? Tit for tat, as they say at DU and the FREEP. Or as Dick Nixon said, "THE END JUSTIFIES THE MEANS." Or, THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD IS RUN BY PAUL BEGALA AND TUCKER CARLSON!!!!!
Posted
1:01 PM
by Gene
What we need is a Friars' Club for the internet Aren't all the PORN SITES enough?
Posted
11:49 AM
by Gene
The French news wire Agence France Presse can barely conceal their glee over this one: Under pressure, US media group cancels broadcast of anti-Kerry film. But once again, they’re deceiving you; the show has not exactly been canceled. [Emphasis mine, although I wanted to use all caps here -- and the strange thing about little is he writes in all caps without caps.] There you have it -- "NOT EXACTLY BEEN CANCELED. " Okay, maybe that AFP hed is wrong, but THE KNEE JERKS WILL NOT ADMIT THEIR FAVORITE BROADCASTER CAVED. This is the most removed-from-reality blogging act since ANDY S. refused to believe P. R. MIKE was successful. I repeat, YOUR GUY CAVED. What makes it worse is that YOUR GUY DID WHAT DAN BLATHER DIDN'T. You clowns should be CRAWLING UNDER THE NEAREST ROCK.
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